Chapter 31
I stand outside the fitting rooms and check out the tux. It feels strange, like it’s not my reflection in the mirror that I’m staring at. I feel like I’m on the outside looking in, that it’s not me getting married tomorrow to the one and only Claire Rennard, but some other lucky man who’s deluded enough to think he deserves her.
She’s mine. With or without this wedding, Claire is irrefutably my woman, the only person I want to go home to. She’s the one, without a doubt. I want to wake up every morning seeing her smiling face and go to sleep with her cozying up against me.
We haven’t shared many nights together. She hasn’t even seen my freaking home yet. While it’s all so rushed and fast, I’m not scared about my connection to her.
But what if she has second thoughts? It’s just happening so fast that I can’t help but be nervous. This isn’t a case of being antsy or impatient. I’m not struggling inside with this worrying and fussing about if this is the right thing to do.
I face deep, gripping nerves that make my stomach tense and knot. I swallow, wishing I could loosen the tie, but I don’t want to annoy the tailor again. He gave me a stern look when I tugged at the strap around my neck in this monkey suit the first time. As he’s now sticking pins near my crotch as he figures out how to adjust the seams, I want him to be very careful and focused on where those sharp points are aimed.
“You look like you’re going to throw up,” Kevin remarks as he exits the dressing room in a similar tux.
The tailor flinches, causing me to go extremely still with those pins. Then, with a slow, deliberate glance up at us, as if checking for impending vomit to fall near him, he sighs and shakes his head. “Please stand still.”
I am. I shoot my brother a wry look. “I am not on the verge of puking.”
“Well, you look uneasy,” Jason says as he strides out confidently. He fusses with his tie as he steps onto the dais to my left while Kevin stands to my right.
How come you can mess with that tie and get away with it?
“I’m nervous,” I admit.
“That’s an understatement,” Jason quips. “You do look off.”
I look down at the tailor again and shake my head. “I’m fine,” I tell him, or all of them. As I stare back at myself, I sigh. “I just want everything to be perfect for Claire.”
“Not a lot of time to ensure perfection,” Jason teases.
“I know, but still.” I shrug, earning a growl of annoyance from the tailor.
“I want everything to be perfect for her, especially when this day is only happening because of the rush with her mother trying to screw her over.”
“You mean this day wouldn’t be happening otherwise?” Kevin arches a brow at me.
“No.” I doubt I can answer that reliably. I can’t tell the future. “Yes.” It seems inevitable, though, that Claire and I would be destined to crash and burn together like we have. “I think we would have reached this point without her mother meddling in her life.” But now that the hours are counting down to our wedding, I can’t wait for it to come. “I’m not sure I’d be patient for a longer engagement.”
Jason laughs. “Not like a week is long to begin with.”
Kevin gives me a knowing look, aware from our talk yesterday that the actual agreement to marry with our feelings shared was only a day old.
He doesn’t pipe up or poke fun at me. After a moment of us being measured and having our tuxes adjusted, Jason smiles wide. “And who cares about the timing. Time is all relative anyway, isn’t it? We’re here to live our one life, however long fate decides that can be, and we can only do the best as we can with the time we have.”
“Nicely put, philosopher,” Kevin says.
Jason chuckles. “Look at you two, for example. I know we didn’t have the most conventional childhood, with me so much older by the time you guys came along, then our parents passing and such. There were many days over the years that I wanted to give up hope of you two reconciling and getting over the petty nonsense that kept you distant, like rivals or enemies. And here we are. It took years, but we’re standing here together, not growling or glaring at anyone. It took time for you two to make up and figure out how to be civil, but there’s no point in complaining it took too long or that it is too soon to claim a truce. It happened. And we should be grateful for it. I am.” He rolls his eyes. “It was getting really old, keeping you apart.”
I nod at him.
“You can thank our new sister-in-law for that,” Kevin says. “She didn’t say much when I met her in Frisco, but I saw how much she cared. Her slight ways of defending you challenged me to rethink how I’ve treated you, and I’m a bit ashamed to admit that if it weren’t for her opening my eyes, I might never have thought about talking with you like we have.” Kevin thumps me on my back, pissing off the tailor’s assistant hurrying to perfect his tux. “Sorry, sorry!”
“And the same thing goes for Claire,” Jason advised. “Don’t look at it as happening too sudden or too fast. Don’t worry about the details and making sure the ceremony and day is perfect or not. Be glad and appreciate that you did meet, that you did develop feelings for each other, and count on the gift of having her in your life and sharing her time with you every day that will come.”
I nod at Jason, glad he can impart such logical and comforting advice. He’s right.
“In case it slips my mind to tell you later, I’m happy for you, Sawyer. This is the real deal with Claire, and I’m glad you’ve found her.”
The real deal? Yeah, that is a good view to have of Claire.
And tomorrow, she’ll really be mine.
Back near Breckenridge, we drop off our tuxes before we prepare to head out for a tame bachelor’s night. My brothers, as well as Dalton and Caleb, want to take me out for a night of drinking beer at the nearby bar. The girls are expected to head off to Copper Mountain for a last-minute spa treatment. I have a suspicion that my brothers and friends are trying their hardest to pull off a traditional day of separation, so Claire and I won’t see each other, but I’m pleasantly surprised to see them at the Goldfinch. Lauren forgot her phone, and they doubled back here to grab it.
I sneak away from the guys and run over to steal Claire aside for a moment. All day, I’ve been fretting about her. If she’s excited or scared. If she’s happy with our plans or wishing we could take time to plan a whole production of a wedding package to get through.
She giggles, stepping aside with me. As I secret her away in a room off the main hallway at the massive BB, I lower my head to hers and kiss her hard.
“I missed you,” I whisper as everyone starts asking where we are.
“Claire!” Aubrey shouts.
“I just saw Sawyer over here a second ago,” Jason says.
Claire bites her lip, whispering back to me, “Missed me? You just saw me this morning when you dropped me off here.”
“That was hours ago.”
She hums against my lips as I steal another kiss. “Well, after tomorrow evening, you won’t be able to get rid of me.”
“Damn right,” I promise.
“We’re really doing this,” she whispers with elation. Her eyes are wide, glimmering with excitement.
“We are. And it’s the real deal,” I tell her, borrowing Kevin’s words. “This is so very real for me.”
She nods, sighing as she hugs me closer. “Me too. No ifs, ands, or buts about it. I’m not just doing this for any other reason than the way I love you and want to spend the rest of my life getting to know you.”
“Not because of the estate?” I tease, knowing it’s the last thing on her mind. She’s been so used to living with scraps of an allowance that I know she can’t be missing a formerly affluent life.
She blows a raspberry and rolls her eyes. “No. I don’t care about that money anymore.”
I kiss her, loving the feel of her smiling lips under mine.
“But hey, if this does work out with that trust fund, I’ll treat you.”
“Oh?” I lower my lids to give her a seductive look. “I thought I would always be the one to treat you,” I argue playfully as I nudge my leg between hers.
“Hmmm.” She arches toward me and kisses me, her tongue dancing with mine. It turns me on, and I dread having to walk away. “I’ll…treat you with a gift. I’ll buy you a brand-new truck.”
“Is that so?” I tease back.
“Uh-huh.” She traces her finger down my shirt, jumping up and passing each button as she moves. “And maybe some new shoes. You know, so you don’t fall.”
I kiss her and chuckle. “Your fall was the way we met.”
“And now,” she says sweetly as our friends call out for us down the hall still. “Now, I can trust that we’ll always be there to catch each other when we fall.”
I can’t help but peck one more kiss on her lips. I’ve never felt this confident before, and with her sweet gaze, as she beams up at me, I know I’m set and focused on my decision, too.
“Sawyer!” Dalton finds us, and he chuckles as he pulls on the back of my shirt to yank me out of the small room with Claire.
“See you tomorrow, baby.” I look back at her, unable to wipe the grin off my face while she fixes her lipstick.
I feel like I’m on top of the world, but I’m glad to head out with the guys. If I didn’t, I’d cave to this need to see Claire tonight and hold her until my heart is imprinted with the beat from hers.
Tomorrow.
Disregarding Jason’s sage words from earlier, I sigh and know every minute that stands between now and the moment when she’ll see me at the end of the aisle will feel like eternity.
Tomorrow cannot come soon enough.
Claire is my future, and I want the rest of my life to start now.