CHAPTER 58
Victoria
“Today’s the perfect day for me to take you to lunch.” Millicent and I exit the federal office building in downtown San Diego and reach the sidewalk. “Any preferences?”
She looks over at me and grins. “I’ll have to check with my boss first.”
“That’s still me—for the moment, anyway.”
“Let’s do Thai, then. There’s a great place just five blocks away.”
“Perfect.” We cross Broadway and head west, then north on Kettner.
It’s a typical bustling city workday, and the sidewalks are filled with people in summer-weight suits—many of them lawyers, is my guess.
With how much time I’ve been spending with lawyers lately, I’ve become pretty good at spotting them in the wild.
I take a deep breath of this perfect Southern California day, sunny and in the mid-70s.
I focus on bringing my heart rate and blood pressure down and try to remain grateful.
That meeting with the Department of Justice fraud unit was no fun.
My father’s legal team was there, shooting daggers at me with their eyes and trying to cut me down at every turn. I held my own just fine.
Ironically, their client would’ve been proud of the way I stood up for myself. My father just never thought I’d stand up to him.
“You okay, Victoria?”
“I’m good. Really.” Millicent has been my rock this last month, even when it became clear that Renaissance Empowered would soon be taking her off the payroll.
She’s one of about two hundred people already out of a job or about to be.
That’s one of the things I wanted to discuss at lunch—what her plans are moving forward.
We get a nice little table near the front and receive our menus. “I feel like celebrating, how about you?”
Millicent giggles. “Are we celebrating because that hellish meeting is finally over with?”
“You got that right.” I order a moderately priced bottle of California rosé, and we order our lunches. Once the waiter pours each of us a glass, I raise mine for a toast.
“To not knowing what’s next,” I say.
“That’s the truth.”
“And to loyal friends.”
Millicent smiles. “To loyal friends and the best boss I’ll ever have.”
We clink our glasses.
We both enjoy some relaxed and friendly catching up. These past weeks have been packed with an immense amount of work, all of it stressful. We’ve been helping to prepare and organize the documentation needed for the takedown of Renaissance Embezzlement, as we now like to call it.
And if that weren’t enough, Millicent has stood by me during some very ugly outbursts. There isn’t enough double-fudge brownie ice cream on the planet to soften the blow of what I’m going through. But she’s been at my side to listen and talk me through it. I’ll never be able to repay her.
My phone rings. I don’t pick up, but if an actual human leaves a voicemail, and if it’s a human I actually want to talk to, I’ll get back to them. Not many people know how to reach me these days. That’s the way I want it.
“Has the new number helped?”
“Absolutely.” I nibble at my curry and take another sip of wine. My father has completely lost his mind, and I had no choice but to change my number. His calls were nonstop, all day and all night. Screaming. Name-calling. Threats.
He takes no responsibility for any of it. He’s thrown executives under the bus, pointed the finger at innocent people, and even claims he knew nothing about the many shady deals he’s managed over the years. The control freak had no idea what was going on in his own company? Not hardly.
But more than anything, my father blames me.
I realize now that the most painful part is that my father never believed in me.
He never saw me for who I was, my skill, my talent, and my intelligence.
Ever since Mom died, I’ve hung onto this fairy tale that I would work at my father’s side, that we would work as a team to grow the company together, as equals.
In this fairy tale, I’d run Renaissance one day.
None of it was real. It was just a fantasy. And now it’s up to me to build something for myself, something real, from the ground up. I know who I am. I don’t have to wait around for someone to see me.
“Have you made a decision about the condo, Victoria?”
I nod. “I’ll have to sell it. I have permission to put everything in storage while they develop asset forfeiture plans.”
“I can help you with those arrangements.”
I nod, choking up. “I don’t know what I would have done without you, Millicent.”
“Hey.” She places her hand on my forearm. “Have you thought about calling him?”
I look at her and laugh. I know all too well who the “him” in this question is, and I don’t want to discuss Cal MacLaine. Ever again. I shake my head. “Let’s change the subject.”
“I think you need to deal with it or it will eat you alive.”
I place my napkin on the table and lean back in my chair. “There’s nothing to talk about. I’m done with men who don’t believe in me, don’t see me for who I am. Never again. And besides, I’m not the one who needs to apologize.”
“Okay.”
“He said so many horrible things to me. The hits just kept on coming, like he couldn’t stop himself. What he said can’t be smoothed over.”
“I know.”
“Anyway, if he wants to apologize, he’ll have to reach out to me, not the other way around.”
Millicent folds her hands in her lap and studies me. I’m pretty sure she’s about to let me have it. “He can’t, Victoria. You changed your number.”
“Oh, shit. You’re right.”
We both laugh.
“But you still think of Cal, right?”
I sigh. “All the time. Every day. Every night.”
“You know, I haven’t wanted to mention this, but you’re still wearing his necklace.”
I reach up and brush my fingertips across his gift.
She’s right. It’s still there, cradled in the hollow between my breasts, delicate and beautiful.
I take it off every day before I shower.
Then I put it on again. It’s a conscious choice I make, over and over again, for more than a month.
It’s not like I can say I forgot I’m wearing it.
“I think you’re in love with him.”
My fingers still. I pull down my hand and take a long sip of wine. “I miss him so much I can’t breathe sometimes. I feel like I’m starving. Dying. And all I want is Cal.”
“Oh, Victoria.”
I wipe away my tears. “I miss the MacLaine family, too. They’re not perfect. No one is. But they love each other. They respect each other. I saw it in the way they choose to live their lives. And there is so much joy at the ranch.”
Millicent nods at me.
“Now that summer’s almost here, I keep thinking about what I’d be doing if I were there with Cal. I picture us cooking a good meal together, listening to jazz or me playing the piano, and soaking in the hot tub while we watch the stars.”
“It sounds lovely.”
“It is. I mean, it was.”
Of course, that’s not even a fraction of what I want. I want Cal. I want his muscular body on top of me. I want his cock buried deep inside me while he whispers my name, tells me how much he needs me, wants me, can’t get enough of me.
Cal was my sexual equal, a true partner. I feel dead without that sensual connection we had. I am flat and lifeless.
I feel lost without that smile, those violet eyes, the deep rumble of his laugh.
“You love him, don’t you? Like, the real deal kind of love.”
“Despite everything, yes. Even though it’s impossible, yes. I’m the biggest idiot that ever lived, but yes. I love Cal MacLaine, and it’s a shame that it didn’t work out between us.” I do my very best to pull myself together. The waiter comes with the check. I focus on Millicent.
“Now to change the subject, I’ve decided to start my own company.”
“What? That’s awesome!”
“And Millicent, you would make me the happiest boss in the whole world if you’d agree to be my junior account executive, teammate, and partner.”
She screams so loudly that she scares the lunch crowd.