Chapter 8
Theo
As soon as Holland stops sputtering, I take her lips, kissing her deeply, hungrily, tasting the wine she had in the restaurant. Tasting her goodness, her laughter. I want to absorb her brightness, her warmth. I want to use it to quell what’s cold within me.
I have no right to hold onto her, but I will for now because I am a selfish bastard.
Keeping us afloat, I spin her in my arms and with one hand, I push the dress to her waist.
“Are you sure no one can see us?”
“Positive.” I swim closer to the edge of the pool.
“Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me?” I groan.
“I’m pretty sure I can feel it,” she says.
Yes, my cock is definitely hard, but my heart is softening and I have to find a way to stop that.
“Grip the edge of the pool and hold on tight.”
I thrust my aching cock into her from behind with a groan and pump hard, trying to drive the sudden need I have for her out of existence. Her body is welcoming, perfect.
She makes little love noises deep in her throat whispering for me to take her harder.
I clench my teeth, trying to hold on, trying to make it last, but I’m freefalling.
I pour into her, my world splintering, while I’m coming. Then I’m shocked realizing I broke my number one rule with sex. But I’m too far gone, too needy and I pour into her until I’m empty.
I turn her around.
“You—”
I kiss her, closing my eyes to her expression. This doesn’t mean anything. I can’t let it mean anything. Please. Please. I don’t want to break her.
I roam one hand between her legs to find her tender clit. I stroke her and when I know she’s on the verge, I whisper, “Hold your breath.”
She closes her mouth as I dive us below water the moment her body begins to arch. As she’s coming, I fill her pussy with my fingers, drawing them in and out across her clit.
She shudders and digs her fingers into my shoulders.
I push us to the surface.
She draws in a lungful of air with a long gasp. “That was…so fucking amazing.”
“Except, I came inside you.” I help her from the water.
“It’s okay. I told you I’m on the pill.” Her expression is gentle. That of a woman starting to care for a man who will never deserve it.
“I’ve been lied to before. And you did say you were good at lying.” The words fly from my mouth with the intent to push her away.
You’re only good at making money and using people. You destroy everything, Theo. You fucking ruined my life, you little bastard. I wish you’d died in that wreck.
Yes. I am the king of chaos and pain. I must not love or the kingdom will fall.
Hurt flashes across Holland’s face. She reaches for one of the fluffy towels on a deck chair. “I am good at lying. It’s wise of you not to forget that.”
I want to go after her, but it would send the wrong message that I care about her feelings. And I can’t. I mean I won’t. My kingdom must not fall.
By the time I make my way to our suite an hour later, I half expect Holland to have her luggage packed and say she’s leaving.
But when I get there, she has a movie on and is lounging in bed eating a slice of pizza while she watches it.
“I ordered room service. There’s an amazing chef here. The crust is made from scratch, and it has garlic sauce brushed over it. Want a slice?” she says like the conversation by the pool never happened.
I pull a chair closer to her side of the bed and take a slice, setting it on a plate. “If something were to occur because of the pool—”
“You mean if I get pregnant. It won’t happen,” she says firmly, turning those beautiful eyes my way. “And on the nearly impossible chance it did, I wouldn’t demand anything from you.”
A child isn’t what I fear. It’s the power it would give him.
We watch the rest of the movie together and though Holland seems perfectly fine, I’m out of sorts, my normal unsteady and I don’t like it.
I manage to sleep that night only because I’m so damn tired. I’m up early the next morning, but not as early as Holland.
She’s at the wall watching schools of fish. Her hand is pressed against the glass and the thick robe she’s wearing has slipped off one shoulder revealing her sun-kissed skin.
“I ordered room service again,” she says, turning to face me.
How is she this beautiful first thing in the morning? Her hair frames her face in wild waves and her lips curve into a soft smile. Below the vee of the robe, I can see the voluptuous swell of her tits.
My heart picks up speed. “That’s fine. I’ll dress.”
“You don’t eat breakfast in a robe?”
“Never.”
“You should try it. It’s very relaxing.”
I hesitate for a second then give in to her suggestion and put on the other robe. I extend my arms. “It’s a little small.”
“Can’t be helped. You’re a big man,” she says, letting her gaze linger on my body.
A light knock sounds on the door, disrupting the moment.
Two room service attendants enter to deliver a large, varied breakfast spread along with a small table. One of them sets it up and covers it with a long, crisp white tablecloth that nearly drapes the floor like the one in the r. The other attendant adds a bouquet of fresh flowers to the center.
After they’re gone, we sit and I pour her a glass of orange juice. She takes a sip, then stands and stretches.
Her robe opens and she’s completely naked. Instead of drawing it closed and belting it, Holland lets it fall to her feet. “Keep eating,” she says and disappears beneath the table.
Her hands tug on my robe, parting it, exposing my cock. Her hands roam my body and my cock responds.
“Eat your breakfast and don’t stop,” she says. “If you stop eating, I’ll stop.”
She massages my balls and I draw in a sharp breath as I force myself to pick up my fork.
Her hand slides to the base of my cock and I stab something on the plate. What it is, I have no clue. I lift it and bring it to my mouth as her lips close over the head of my cock. A groan escapes my lips.
Then she opens wide and takes me in, her mouth tight and insistent.
I grip the edge of the table and she stops. Shit. I reach for the water glass and take a sip. As the cool liquid goes down my throat, she pulls me in deeper.
I try to concentrate on cutting the food up so I don’t choke but it’s hard. Her mouth and her tongue are driving me crazy. Just the right amount of pressure and she’s making sounds…
“I told you to eat,” she says, pulling off of me.
I tangle my hands into her hair and guide her back between my legs. “Suck me, Holland.”
“Eat your breakfast,” she counters.
I grip the fork.
“Good boy.”
I can almost hear the smirk in her tone when she draws me in again. And fuck it all, there’s no way in hell I can eat with what she’s doing to me. My head lolls back in the chair and I push my cock toward her.
She starts to pull off again, but I’m ready this time. Holding her head steady, I say hoarsely, “Faster until you take this load. Don’t stop.”
Her mouth feels so tight and so damn….so…and then I lose it, pouring myself into her mouth. “Like that, just like that…swallow…swallow.”
My body feels as melted as the buttered on the toast.
Holland crawls from beneath the table and I can see myself glistening on her lips. I pick her up and sit her in the chair. “Wait here.”
My legs feel off kilter when I fetch the vibrator. “Open your legs.”
She spreads wide and I insert a finger to see if she’s wet. She’s soaked.
I want to hold her and tell her how amazing I think she is. How much I like her company. How the time is passing too quickly. Foolish thoughts.
I turn on the vibrator and slide it into her. She lifts her ass.
“No, sit all the way down on it. Get that good pressure.”
I pull it out and slide the tool across her clit. “Put your legs on my shoulders.”
She leans back in the chair and does that.
I press the vibrator hard against her ass. “Oh…the sensation…”
I carefully insert it there, then lean forward to draw her clit between my lips.
She grips my hair with a whimper.
I suck hard and relentlessly while fucking her with the vibrator trying to drive the need for her out of my head.
Her legs tighten, then her thighs press against the sides of my face.
“Theo…”
The rest of what she says is garbled as she comes, pushing her hips up like she’s trying to fuck my face.
“It’s so good. You’re so good. I can’t get enough of you. Please…this…”
She slips from the chair, and I catch her as she falls, sitting her on my lap.
Her forehead rests against my shoulder, her breath slowing. My chest tightens, my heart squeezes painfully.
I will not fall for you Holland. I will not.
After a little while, she says, “I want to do some shopping to get souvenirs for Heidi and my grandmother.”
I gently gather her hair in one hand. “I’ll take you to the bazaar on one of the other islands.” I couldn’t give two shits about souvenirs, but I want to do something Holland wants to do. And I want to get out of this room and away from a battle with myself I’m trying desperately to win.
The open-air bazaar is an explosion of color and noise. The streets are narrow and overflowing with tourists and locals. Vendors hawk food, clothing and souvenirs. The hot breeze carries the scent of grilled meat and sweet pastries.
When someone jostles Holland again, I take her hand, pulling her close to my side to protect her. Her fingers grip mine tightly.
“How cute,” she says, pausing in front of a booth selling jewelry. She tugs her hand free and reaches for a bracelet.
“They are all made by hand,” the vendor says, beaming proudly.
Holland admires the design, gently touching the surface. The tiny jewels sparkle in the sunlight and she’s mesmerized by the jewelry.
I’m mesmerized by her. Is this the first step in the downfall of my kingdom? “The beauty of it suits you,” I say unable to help myself, my voice husky.
Her eyes widen then she smiles, looking pleased.
I clear my throat and reach for my wallet to hand over the money.
“Theo,” she protests as I fasten the jewelry around her wrist. “I can afford to buy myself a few trinkets.”
“I know, but I wanted you to have something from me,” I say. My kingdom…
Holland stares hard at me like she’s trying to understand if I have a deeper meaning.
“It doesn’t mean anything special,” I say.
“Of course not.” After a moment of studying me intently, she turns and her attention is captured by rows of T-shirts with the island logo. She buys two in the same flashy bright yellow color. Those will definitely stand out in a crowd.
“One is for you.” She holds it up against my chest.
“I wouldn’t wear that,” I tell her. “It’s not my style.”
She rolls her eyes and tucks it into the canvas bag she brought. “I know that. But it’ll help convince your grandmother if we have couple items.”
Convince my grandmother? I stop walking. Where has my head been? From the moment we arrived on the island, I’d forgotten that’s why we’re here.
“What’s wrong?” Holland asks, alarmed. “Your face suddenly paled. Is it too hot out?”
“It’s nothing,” I lie.
“If you’re sure…”
I nod. “Positive.”
We continue to thread our way through the packed street. I follow her lead enjoying her reaction to the things for sale more than the actual bazaar itself.
Several stalls in, she stops in front of a display of hand carved keychains. “This one is for me.” She picks up a dolphin, her fingers stroking the blue wave around it. Then she chooses another and says, “And this one is for you.”
A starfish.
“Why not the shark?”
“When we first met, I would have chosen the shark because I thought it suited you. I thought you were calculating and dangerous. But now I know I was wrong.”
“Why do you think so?”
“Because a starfish is resilient. It’s able to survive and grow again.”
Survive? I frown. “What does that have to do with me?”
Holland takes the time to pay the vendor before responding, “Somewhere along the way, I sense that you experienced a loss.”
I shake my head. “I haven’t lost anyone.”
Her eyes hold mine steadily and I’m uncomfortable. She’s too perceptive.
“I think you lost yourself,” she says quietly, “you lost whoever you used to be before someone bruised your heart.”
Her words cut through me, digging into the past.
With Eleanor. With the betrayal. With the shock of my father destroying my trust. It’s a finger pointing. See? This is what can happen when you’re weak and gullible. When you love.
I slam the door on the past. “It’s just a keychain.” I steer her away from the booth. “I’ll get you a hat. You don’t want to end up with a sunburn.”
I need to take control of the conversation and redirect our interaction. I don’t like how easily she read something twisted about my life that only brothers know.
There’s no reason for Holland to know anything about me other than what I present to her. She’s just a solution to a problem. Once our contract ends, we’ll part ways and I’ll never see her again. Never think of her again.
“Liar,” a man at a booth calls out looking me in the eye as he gestures.
“What?” I snap.
The elderly vendor points to a twisted cinnamon and sugar pastry. “Buy her.” He points to the treat, then to Holland.
Oh. Buy for her. I buy the treat and the vendor puts it into a paper cup. I take it and then pass it to Holland.
“Thanks,” she says softly, her lips parting in anticipation.
I stare at those lips, tasting them on mine the way she’s tasting the treat. Save for a touch of mascara, her face is natural. And I’ve never seen a more beautiful woman.
She tugs a piece of the pastry free and lifts it toward me.
I lean down and my lips lightly graze her fingertips. The bite is warm and sweet, but all I can taste is the memory of her. I’m battling the temptation to kiss her, to suggest we stay here and forget the world behind us.
We could explore the island. Explore each other. I could learn to forget the past. Forget the pain and just breathe.
“Theo?”
Her voice rips me from the fantasy and drags me back to reality.
Didn’t I already learn not to want what isn’t real? Didn’t I already pay a heavy price?
I’m not doing that again. Protect the kingdom. Protect myself.
“We’re leaving tomorrow,” I announce.