Chapter 10
Holland
The Montclair estate in Lucky River glitters like the home was draped in jewels. The twinkle lights on all the balconies and threaded through the hedges shine like thousands of stars plucked from the sky.
Musicians in a string quartet are dressed in formal wear and the music they create flows across the air to spill gentle melodies into the night.
Servers carrying silver trays laden with champagne glasses move among the crowd.
Everywhere I look is old money. The people are impeccably dressed. The women are adorned with diamonds and sport classical upswept hairstyles.
They chat politely and every now and then I catch the sound of laughter. Not the gut-busting kind I’ve shared with Heidi, but the quiet kind that doesn’t draw attention.
Seeing all of this doubles my resolve not to fool myself. I don’t belong in Theo’s world. No matter how much my heart yearns.
I’m clutching my champagne glass like it’s my lifeline. I haven’t had a single drop of it. I’m afraid I might accidentally get drunk and ruin the evening for Theo and his grandmother.
Normally, I can handle alcohol, but I haven’t had much to eat today, and it always affects me more on an empty stomach.
A slight breeze blows across the lawn, carrying a hint of moisture from the enormous marble fountain. I grip the side of the dark blue evening gown that fits me like a dream and move away from it.
Theo reappears by my side. He’d stepped away to greet a silver haired man who’d looked at me with curiosity.
“Are you bored?” he asks accepting a glass of champagne from a waiter.
I shake my head. “I’m observing money in its natural habitat.”
He laughs and the amusement softens him. He’s more at ease than he was when I’d last seen him a week ago. Then he shifts and he’s closer to me. Our shoulders lightly touch.
I’m hyper aware of everything about Theo. The scent of his cologne. The way he carries himself. The curve of his lips as he smiles. The length he’s packing in his pants.
I shiver.
“Cold?” he asks, setting the glass down to unbutton his tuxedo jacket.
I stop him. “I’m not.” I send him a sideways glance. “What I am is curious.”
He waves his hand across the gathering. “About these people?”
“No, I’m curious why you behaved the way you did after we returned from the island.”
A slow song begins to play, and Theo holds out his hand. “Dance with me.”
I put my hand in his and heat races through me.
He puts one hand on my waist, holding my body and gazing at me like he has feelings for me. Like we’re a real couple.
Hunger is in his eyes. So is confusion and hesitation.
I feel the same. I want this man, but I’m confused by the way I’m feeling.
I’m hesitating to let go and throw caution to the wind.
I know how devasting it is to trust someone and have them throw your heart around like it’s in a game of emotional dodgeball.
The music plays on and we dance, our moves flowing easily like we’ve been a couple for years. It’s sweet torture the way our bodies keep brushing together.
“No reason for the behavior?” I ask.
“My grandmother keeps looking our way. I think she’s trying to figure out if you’re going to give me a second chance or leave me heartbroken.”
“That’s the plan,” I say, knowing he’s deflecting.
“Leaving me heartbroken?”
I blink, then frown. “Our history is fake. Your heartbreak is fake.” I don’t know why my heart is drumming the way it is. “I’m only here to do a job. You’re not forgetting that, are you?”
“Of course not,” he says.
Does he sound disappointed? I can’t tell, but I feel that way. What did I expect? Whatever it was, I shouldn’t have.
His hand slides up to rest in the center of my back and he pulls me in closer. “Come home with me after the party.”
“Because you’re falling in love with me and can’t bear for us to be apart?”
I’m teasing. Sort of.
I expect him to laugh. To answer sarcastically and say no because we haven’t known each other that long.
But all he says is, “Stay with me tonight.”
I walk my fingers up the center of his chest. “Are you going to be a good boy if I do?”
“Wasn’t I before?” he asks, his voice silky with reminder. He leans in, his lips lightly grazing the top of my ear. “When you had your legs on my shoulders?”
“Theo! Someone might overhear you.”
“So? Most of the guests here are uptight. Maybe overhearing me will make them horny enough to get laid and relax.”
I choke off a laugh.
“May I cut in?”
The woman asking is old money, definitely, but her expression isn’t one of a cat-that-got-the-cream satisfied with life. Hers is more hunter-seeking-prey.
Theo makes an almost imperceptible move to draw me closer. The woman doesn’t notice, but I do.
His lips are drawn, his eyes tight and he’s tense from head to toe.
I instantly don’t like this woman.
Her blue eyes rake over me. “You are?”
“My girlfriend,” Theo says.
I catch the slight surprise on her face before she schools her features. “I’m Eleanor’s sister,” she says like that should mean something to me.
I know women like her. They’re the same whether poor or rich. Full of spite. Eager to get off by hurting others.
Her eyes widen and she fakes concern. “Didn’t he tell you about Eleanor?”
I smile and put on my best resting bitch face. “We’ve been too busy to do much talking about insignificant matters. You should try the cake. It’s divine. Darling?” I turn to Theo. “You did say we were about to leave.”
I don’t know what this woman or Eleanor have to do with Theo, but I know it’s not good judging by how angry Theo is.
I link my arm with his and we walk away.
He motions for his driver. “Have someone tell my grandmother we’re leaving.”
On the way to the penthouse, some of the tightness in his expression dissipates but his body is still rigid.
The moment he’s inside, he pours himself a shot of whisky and knocks it back, closing his eyes for a moment before he walks to the sofa and sits down heavily. “If you prefer to go home, I’ll send you.”
I’m not leaving.” I plop down beside him. I put my hand on his thigh, and he covers my hand with his.
“Are you okay? You seem off.”
His smile is tight. “Seeing Eleanor’s sister reminded me of something I’d rather forget.”
“Do you want to talk about it?” I ask gently because I know how the pressure of trauma can build. Thankfully, I had Heidi to talk to, but I doubt Theo ever let anyone see how he’s been affected.
He’s quiet for so long that at first, I think he isn’t going to say anything. Then he says, “Eleanor was a woman I once dated. At first, it was just to please my grandmother. Then I started to care for her.”
A white-hot poker stabs me in the heart. Jealous? I’m jealous? I am. I am jealous. Oh no. I bite my lip. “What happened to her?”
“To her? Nothing.” He leans forward, resting his forearms on his thighs. “After I insisted on drawing up a prenup if she wanted to get married, the end of our relationship began.”
“A prenup,” I repeat the word.
“Yes. She went wild. Screaming and carrying on. Then I discovered our entire relationship only started because she was helping my father. He thought if he could use her to gain access to my money and shares, he could destroy me.”
“What an asshole!”
“He is. A few days later, she asked me to meet at her apartment and said she was pregnant. She said if I didn’t give her what she wanted, she’d go to the media and say I abandoned her and the child.”
“Was she lying about being pregnant?”
“No, she was pregnant. But it wasn’t mine. It was my father’s. I found out because I caught them in the act.”
I wince at his pained expression.
“She didn’t even bother to stop giving him a blowjob as he laughed and told me he’d written a script for her to follow. How she should dress for me. What she should say to me. How she should touch me.”
Chills race up my spine. Theo was used in such a despicable way.
“I left and my father chased after me, pulling his car in front of mine to cut me off.”
“What did he say then?”
“I wrecked. My car flipped off the road. He walked up to the wreckage and screamed telling me what a bastard I am. How I ruined his life. He said he hoped I died trapped in the car. That I would know then how trapped he’d always felt.”
“Oh, Theo.”
“He drove away and I was stuck for several hours before I was found. He hates me because when he got my mother pregnant with me, my grandfather forced him to marry her to protect the Montclair reputation.”
“I’m so sorry.” I feel cold and shaky after learning how awful father is. “I hope he isn’t in your or your family’s life any longer.”
“He and my mother are still married but are living separately. Montclairs do not divorce.”
I get up and sit in Theo’s lap to wrap my arms around him. “I wish I could make everything you went through disappear.”
His hand rubs my back. “I made it.”
He did make it, but he carries the burden that survivors of trauma bear. It’s a load that feels light at times, heavy at others.
I tip his chin up to gaze into his handsome face. “I think you’re amazing,” I say. “And you’re strong.” I’m here for you. My heart is here for you.
“I’m fine, Holland.” He puts his hand on the back of my neck and draws me in for a kiss, his lips whispering against mine. Then he deepens the kiss.
For my heart’s sake, it would be smarter to leave. But I’ll stay because walking away is too hard when I know he’s hurting. I just hope I can find the strength to walk away when our contract ends.