Chapter 5
Rheadur
One and a half years later
“Are you really sure about this, Jazmina? The world out there can be very dangerous,” Adeela says.
How do I explain to my best friend that my time to leave is long overdue?
I’m craving life.
I waited for things to settle in my country. Kaled is now our sheikh, and he’s married Adeela. Their little boy, Tajj, has been born, and now I finally feel free to leave Rheadur and forge my own path.
I’m leaving sort of on bad terms with my mother, who of course is against it.
Not that she’s ever supported any decision I’ve made, so I wasn’t expecting anything different.
My father is a good husband to his wives—today only two are left of the original four[15]—and he’s relatively liberal, but even so, my mother has never tried to express her own wants.
Always apathetic, always agreeing with everything.
Naturally, with a personality that lets others decide even the smallest things about her life, she would never understand my desire for change.
“Adeela, danger exists everywhere. Maybe after a few months, I’ll regret it and want to come home, but I need to give myself the chance to at least try.”
It’s not the first time we’ve had this conversation, nor the first time she’s tried to talk me out of it.
I love her like a sister, and I know she means well, but she needs to understand how different we are.
In Rheadur, Adeela, now married and a mother, has everything she ever dreamed of, while I still don’t know what I want for myself.
Last week, my father hinted at the idea of marrying me off to one of the single princes of a neighboring country, but I can’t imagine binding myself to someone I don’t love, marrying only because it would be a good match or a strong alliance for my family.
Maybe Adeela doesn’t understand because she got lucky and married the man she loved, but how am I supposed to think about marriage when none of the eligible men, either in Rheadur or in the surrounding emirates, interest me?
I’d like the chance to at least know what it’s like to kiss a man without needing to form an eternal bond with him afterward, but I’m certain that in my country, that’s impossible. Actually, even abroad I’ll have to be very discreet so I don’t embarrass my father or my brother, my beloved sheikh.
“What are you hoping to find?”
“I don’t know. Haven’t you ever dreamed of a different life?”
“Far from my father, yes. But it had nothing to do with the country or our customs.”
I nod. No one needs to be an expert in relationships to see that Adeela is happy, both because she’s in love with my brother and because she embraces the rules of Rheadur.
“And now you have the world in your hands,” I say, smiling.
“Yes. My love and my son. A career, and on top of all that, we’re slowly managing to reinstate women’s rights in our nation. I feel fulfilled, Jazmina.”
“It’s exactly what you have, that sense of fulfillment, that I’m missing. I need to step away for a while. Stand on my own two feet. Only then will I know what I truly want.”
“Just be careful. As much as you want to see this world you keep talking about, don’t forget your heritage, Jazmina.
We all have roots. Don’t hurt yourself trying to be different just for the sake of it, because in the end, you might lose yourself.
You might look in the mirror and no longer know who you are. ”
“You’ve matured a lot since marrying my brother.”
“Maybe. Honestly, I think even though we’re the same age, deep down, I’ve always felt older than you. Inexperienced, yes, but I knew what I wanted.”
“While I’m living a late adolescence?”
She smiles. “You’re twenty-one. You left adolescence a long time ago, missy.”
“Yes, and now I’m even too old for university. And to be honest, I don’t even know if that’s what I want.”
“Can I give you some unsolicited advice?”
“There’s no such thing between us, Adeela. Your advice will always be welcome.”
“It’s nothing big, but something I’d do in your place: instead of trying to figure out what you want, eliminate what you don’t. Whatever hurts you, cross it off. Don’t force yourself.”
I pull her into a hug. “That’s good advice, Your Excellency.”
“My advice is always amazing, Your Highness.”
After kissing my nephew one more time, I step into my brother’s private jet without looking back, or I’ll lose my nerve. But as soon as I sit down and fasten my seatbelt, my phone rings.
Kaled.
“Good morning, Your Excellency. As-salam alaykum[16], my sheikh.”
“Wa alaykum as-salam[17], my sister. You’re already on the plane, I assume?”
“Yes.”
“I’m sorry I didn’t get to say goodbye.”
“It’s fine. Adeela came, and I had breakfast with Father today.”
“But not with your mother?”
I sigh, wondering if he’ll be one more person to criticize me. “No. She barely spoke to me these last few days, just like our sisters.”
I wait for him to justify their behavior, but instead he changes the subject.
“You’re aware that I’m giving you a vote of confidence by allowing you to study abroad?”
“With all due respect, my sheikh, I’m not a child asking permission to go to a candy shop. I’m an adult, Kaled.”
“An adult with zero life experience. However, that’s not why I called. I called to remind you of the rules you’ll have to follow. Do not run away from the bodyguards under any circumstances, Jazmina, or I’ll bring you back so fast you won’t even know what happened.”
“I won’t run, as long as they at least pretend they’re not bodyguards. They don’t need to walk around in suits and dark glasses, or people will think I landed on the wrong planet. Who walks around with an escort twenty-four-seven?”
“We do. The Royal Family. You know your duties and responsibilities. You’re a princess, not an ordinary girl, Jazmina.
You’re aware of the scandals involving our country in the last two years.
We don’t need any more negative attention now that our economy and internal conflicts are finally stabilizing. ”
The disappearance of our brother, former Sheikh Naim, who was officially declared dead about three months ago, turned Rheadur into the center of the universe when it came to gossip.
Celebrity magazines feasted on the reports from women who had been his victims. We knew Naim lived a reckless life outside Rheadur’s borders, but what came to light was a nightmare.
Models and actresses came forward describing the parties on my brother’s yacht[18], where they were drugged and then abused.
I still don’t know how my father survived such shame. Even though almost everything is forgotten now, the episode will always remain a scar on Rheadur’s history.
As if that weren’t enough, after Kaled became sheikh and began reinstating women’s rights, radicals inside the country organized attacks that resulted in arrests and death sentences, since in Rheadur, any assault on a member of the Royal Family is punished with capital execution[19].
“I’m not trying to start World War Three. I just want to live my life, Kaled.”
“And I’ve already given you permission to do that. But I also told you it would be an agreement and that you’d give me something in return.”
A chill runs down my spine. “What?”
“You don’t plan on living in the United Kingdom forever, I suppose.”
I’m not sure, but no way I’m saying that when I’m one step away from freedom. “Go on,” I say, dodging the statement.
“I want you to meet some princes from neighboring emirates with whom we have commercial agreements.”
My heart sinks, disappointment washing over me. “You’re going to force me to marry?”
“Don’t be dramatic. If I intended to force you, I wouldn’t say I want you to meet some candidates; I’d simply choose the one I find suitable.”
“And you won’t do that?”
“I’m not the villain here, Jazmina. I just don’t want you to lose yourself during this . . . journey of self-discovery,” he says, unintentionally echoing what Adeela told me moments ago.
“That’s it? Don’t run from the bodyguards and agree to have dinner with some princes?”
“No. I spoke to Rodrick yesterday and assigned him to keep an eye on you. The bodyguards he selected will be the ones watching you and reporting to my friend any mistake you make. As soon as you arrive in London, he’ll contact you.
Keep in mind that, in the United Kingdom, Rodrick will be your unofficial guardian.
My representative. Whatever he tells you, you must obey. ”