Chapter 16
“Uh . . . that’s not what I meant. It’s just that when I woke up, you and I . . . we . . .”
I try to erase from my mind the image of her in my robe, but it’s useless.
There was no lingerie underneath, and Jazmina had been soft and yielding, clinging to me in the middle of the night. Her scent seems imprinted on my memory, and I can almost breathe it in even now, with a table between us.
“Josephine came with us to my place and she undressed you,” I explain, because I know that’s been tormenting her. “After the doctor examined you, I was worried and didn’t want to leave you alone. You woke up and asked me to stay with you. That’s all.”
“But I was holding on to you when I woke up.”
“I don’t have an explanation for that. I think it’s normal that when a man and a woman sleep in the same bed . . . their bodies find each other during the night.”
“I wouldn’t know. I never . . . um . . . No other man has ever touched me that intimately, except my father or my brothers. When you picked me up that day, on Vicenzzo’s boat, it was the first time someone outside my family . . .”
I’ve never considered myself a caveman. Since I don’t intend to tie myself to anyone permanently, I’ve never cared who else the women I’ve slept with have been with. But hearing that, that I was the first, hits something primitive in me I didn’t know existed.
“Why didn’t you push me away or scream that day on the boat?”
“You caught me off-guard,” she answers, but we both know it’s a lie. Despite her complaints, she never once tried to get out of my arms.
“Why didn’t you push me away, Jazmina?”
“I don’t know if I should answer that. You already have enough reasons not to like me.”
Before I can insist, the pilot announces we’re landing, but I can’t stop replaying the way her face flushed at my question.
We return to our seats, and sitting across from me, she closes her eyes and leans back into the chair.
I, on the other hand, can’t look away, even though I should.
“I don’t know how you can spend the week in London when you have this paradise at your disposal,” she says, staring out the window as the driver takes us through my lands.
“I thought you liked big cities. You chose a major metropolis to study in, after all.”
She turns to face me. “I wanted to go anywhere I could feel free. I picked London randomly. Could’ve been Germany too.”
“Maybe not so randomly. Maybe you unconsciously chose the farthest place from Rheadur.”
She gives me a half smile and, impossibly, looks even more beautiful. “Could be. Truth is, I want to experience life before . . .”
“Before what?”
“I’ll eventually have to marry to form a political alliance for my country. Like you said, I’m a princess. I have obligations.”
“Your father or brother would never force you to marry against your will.”
“Kaled would give me the option to choose from among certain candidates. But don’t fool yourself into thinking I can remain single.”
“Is that what you want?”
“Right now? No. I can’t think of anyone for the role. Besides, I’d like to try a few kisses before making a decision.”
I don’t know if she realizes she does it, but she says that looking straight at my mouth.
“With anyone?”
“Of course not! I have to at least be interested in the guy,” she snaps, offended.
“So what’s your plan? ‘Hey, I’m a princess and I’ll have to get married whether I want to or not. Before that, I’d like to try kissing around. Volunteers?’”
She glares, but my mood is circling hell’s kitchen too. Imagining her kissing random guys just to “experience life” sparks a level of madness I didn’t know I was capable of.
“You’re mocking me!”
“No. I just think your plan is ridiculous. You can’t go around asking people to kiss you.”
The driver parks in front of my castle, but she’s so furious I doubt she even noticed we’ve arrived.
“I’m not going around asking people for kisses. I’m not stupid. I know the man has to want it too. I’m not ugly; there must be someone willing to just kiss without wanting . . .”
“Without wanting what?”
“Intimacy.”
Not a chance. No man would kiss her and stop there. Impossible.
“You’re gorgeous. Any western man is almost never going to stop at just a kiss.”
The driver opens the door, but before stepping out, she challenges, “Even you?”
“What?”
“If you kissed me, you’d want more too?”
Then she steps out of the car, leaving me speechless.
Good thing she didn’t wait for an answer, because I genuinely don’t know how to give her one without incriminating myself.
The staff waits outside, and to my surprise, Jazmina greets each of them one by one, even teasing the little boy who’s the cook’s son.
She waits for me to join her, since she’s my guest. The girl is a lady, despite her impulsive temperament.
“I have a dinner at a neighbor’s estate tonight. Some decisions about land rules.”
“Duke duties?”
“Yes. I’ll understand if you’d rather stay home.”
“And miss the full package of my punishment? No, I’m coming. If I have to pay for my mistakes, I want to do it while having new experiences.”
In a twisted way, it pleases me to see she’s back to her usual self. I prefer defiant Jazmina over compliant Jazmina.
“Be ready at six,” I warn.
She had already started following the maid to the guest room but turns back to face me. “You seem to love giving me orders.”
“It’s nothing personal. I like giving orders to everyone.”
“Especially to me, Your Grace?”
“Maybe, princess.”
She doesn’t break eye contact. “About the question you asked on the plane—why I didn’t scream for help when you picked me up at Vicenzzo’s party . . . I didn’t because I liked it when you held me. I like when you touch me, Rodrick.”
And with that, she walks away quickly, leaving me with no idea how to deal with that.