Chapter 28
I’ve always considered myself a black-and-white kind of man. Never hesitated before making a decision. But I had also never been proposed to until now.
“I’ll leave you two alone,” Athol says. “I don’t know if I should congratulate you yet, Your Highness, so for now . . . good luck.”
“Just Jazmina, Mr. Athol.”
“Then call me only Athol, dear.”
He slips out. It’s one of the things I like most about my former guardian: his impeccable timing, along with his loyalty. He always knows when to disappear.
Her posture shifts. She’s sitting straight now, hands folded in her lap, her usual boldness gone. What I see instead is the girl who’s used to being judged.
Jazmina is the most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on. A breathtaking combination of flawless looks and a personality that challenges and ignites me.
Full of life. Passionate. Sharp.
Perfect in every way that matters.
Which is exactly why I can’t subject her to the kind of marriage I had in mind.
“It’s not going to work.”
“But you said you wanted a wife of convenience! I can fit that role. Can’t you see this arrangement would be ideal?”
“You have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know the type of relationship I was looking for.”
“I don’t know how any relationship works—I’ve never even had a boyfriend—but I won’t faint if you tell me what you want.”
“First, let me ask you something. When you think of a marriage of convenience, are you picturing Kaled and Adeela?”
“No. They love each other. I’m thinking of my father and his wives, my mother included. I never met her, but people say the only woman he ever loved was Kaled’s mother. Meaning that, out of four marriages, he got it right once.”
“That’s what you dream of for yourself? A marriage without love?”
“What I dream of is the right to choose in the future. To decide for myself who I’ll spend my life with, without being judged by the subjects of my country.
” She glances at her hands again. “Even though my brother is progressive, our culture is ruled by millennia-old traditions. That’s already complicated enough.
And being royal makes the burden even heavier. ”
“You mentioned a fixed term. If I accepted . . . how long would you agree to stay tied to me?”
“As long as you don’t force me to stop studying, we don’t have to set an exact end date yet.” She meets my eyes. “Maybe when one of us falls in love with someone else. What do you think?”
“That won’t happen to me.”
“I can’t promise the same, but I give you my word I’d never cheat on you.”
I stand and walk toward the window, turning my back to her. “The kind of marriage I intended to have was an open one, Jazmina. Do you know what that means?”
“No.”
I’ve never felt ashamed of my past, but for the first time, I’m uneasy admitting the degree of my own debauchery.
I face her again. “My wife and I would be free.”
“What? Free how? You’d sign a contract.”
“Sexually free.”
It takes her a moment to absorb what I’ve just said, and I see the exact instant understanding hits her. Color floods her face . . . deep, burning red, as if she’s suddenly feverish. She rises, unsteady for a few seconds, but the weakness evaporates.
And then the refined girl, the princess raised in luxury with immaculate manners, emerges.
Her face becomes unreadable. Gone is the passion I know lives right beneath the surface. In its place: a mask of royal composure.
It’s as if she’s stepped onto a stage, slipped into a role, and I’m merely her audience.
“Forgive me for the absurd proposal and for the trouble I’ve caused you. I’ll talk to my brother and explain what I did. We can also keep the engagement for as long as necessary. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I should go.”
She smooths the tight skirt over her knees, straightens her silk blouse, then bends to pick up her purse from the floor.
She won’t look at me.
And witnessing her purity and dignity hits me like a punch to the gut.
“Jazmina.”
“You were right. I didn’t understand your version of convenience, Rodrick—having sex with other people. I’m sorry, but that’s not convenient for me. I could live in a marriage without love in exchange for my freedom, but not one without respect.”
She turns and walks out.
I want to go after her, but I know better.
The forbidden princess gets under my skin like no woman ever has, and if we get involved, even physically, it will ruin everything. I can never give her the love or the family she probably dreams of.
“I thought you two would work things out,” Athol says as he steps back into the room.
As if daring me to choose, my phone starts ringing, and I know it’s Kaled.
I have no answers to give him right now. I ignore the call. “She wants fidelity.”
“And you wouldn’t be able to give her that? Set a time frame, if it’s so hard for you to stay with just one woman. The princess is a rare gem.”
“It’s not being unable to stay faithful to her what worries me; it’s the opposite. I want her. Emotions and feelings are not good ingredients to mix into a marriage of convenience.”
“She seemed quite determined to me. The girl wants to be free. You can give her that freedom in the future. You keep your title. You both win.”
“Uh . . . Mr. Rodrick,” my secretary says, poking her head into the room, “the princess’s security team is here. They say Her Highness can’t leave the building because there seem to be dozens of photographers and reporters trying to talk to her.”
“She hasn’t left yet. Life is giving you a chance to make the right decision,” Athol says, but I’m no longer listening.
Because I’m already running out the door to find her.