CHAPTER FOURTEEN
I placed my hands under my chin, my legs jittering with nerves underneath the desk.
Rocco never asked if I’d stopped the pills.
He’d already checked the birth control box and seen the missed days.
All I had left was a shaky explanation, though I didn’t fully understand how I lost track.
“I was picked up on the street without my stuff and was taken straight to the airport—”
“Let me stop you right there,” Rocco interrupted.
“You flew here to Florence and knew you needed your birth control. Anyone on the plane, the staff at the house, or even your doctor here could’ve helped you.
Just like Isla helped you in New York. Therefore, everything you have to say now is not a circumstance but a decision you made. ”
I jammed my hands into my armpits, desperate to still their trembling. “I…I took one and was going to see the doctor—”
“But you didn’t tell me about it and we had sex,” he cut in.
“Yeah…yeah. Uh—”
“When we had sex, you definitely knew you were unprotected, and instead of warning me, you didn’t. Why didn’t you tell me?” he said, his voice rising.
I tucked my chin to my chest, cheeks burning. “I didn’t know if I was completely unprotected. I didn’t know how to tell you—”
“Bullshit. That’s complete and utter bullshit,” he said, shaking his head. “We talk all the time. When have I ever made you afraid to talk to me?”
I blinked fast, my stomach a tangled knot.
Even I could hear how flimsy my excuse sounded.
Rocco had always listened, always cared.
“Yes, I know I can talk to you, but…uhm, it wasn’t just…
I knew you’d be upset, and I thought I could see a doctor and then talk to you. Maybe get back on the pill or end—”
“No. You can’t have an abortion. I have a say; so does Marini Trust, and so does our marriage contract. You know that!” he bellowed and slammed a hand on the desk.
I flinched. “I-I made a mistake.”
“A mistake? You did more than make a mistake, Adelina,” he shouted. “You lied to me.”
I swiped at my eyes and hunched over, memories of Mama, my grandparents’ warnings, and Luca’s shadow pressing in.
In my heart I believed we needed this child now, not later.
However, it hadn’t been my intention to deceive him or even miss taking the pills.
Right? “I hadn’t meant to lie. I-I was going to tell you… ”
Rocco scoffed, his anger radiating between us. “But you did, and I should have seen the signs. You held my hand to your stomach in the shower…” His gaze turned distant as he concentrated on everything he might have missed.
I let my head fall and wrapped my arms tightly around myself.
“I saw the smile on your face when you left a ‘hint’ at a baby to that reporter at Hotel Caro. Even then, you tried to deceive me, but I doubted it because I couldn’t believe you’d be so cruel.”
He didn’t need to say more; the rest echoed in my mind.
Until now. His words stung, sharp and deep, making me shrink back.
I rubbed my goosebumps. “I never meant to hurt you. I…If I’m pregnant, which I’m probably not, it wouldn’t be the worst that happened to us right now.
You said you didn’t want a child born without love.
You have my love, and because I love you, I’m willing to do whatever it takes to help us now.
Even if I… we hadn’t planned it, and I was irresponsible. Us having a baby is still our love.”
He snorted and shook his head. “This isn’t love. What you did isn’t love.”
My brows knitted together. “I messed up, but if I have a baby, it’s out of love for you. Nothing is as simple as it looks. You don’t know the pressure I’ve been under.”
“Pressure?” Rocco mocked. “What pressure made you think forcing us to have a baby before we were ready was the right thing to do?”
I squirmed in my seat. “Force? I-I didn’t go out of my way to force you. Your mother threatened me on the flight. She said you wouldn’t get the money for your studio—”
“My mom’s good with numbers, but she doesn’t raise money. She has no idea—”
“Paul said it could take two or more years to raise the funds to start the studio—”
“You talked to Paul about me?” he asked, his eyes widening.
“I asked him, and he said a couple of years.”
“I thought the same, and I’m willing to put in the work. I don’t take shortcuts; you undermined me just by doubting it,” he said, bitterness lacing his words. My guilt deepened. I’d rattled his pride.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t understand—”
“That’s just it, Adelina. You don’t know me. You married me, but you don’t know me.” He glared down at me and pressed his hand to his chest.
I recoiled, my heart aching so much my hand rubbed against it to soothe it. What did he mean I didn’t know him? We talked for hours, made love all day. We fell in love. Didn’t he still believe that?
I swallowed. “Perhaps, I don’t know everything about you, but our marriage was arranged for a reason, and you agreed to those reasons; having children was always a part of it.”
“But we get to decide. Not just you,” he hissed.
“I know that, and you’re right to be upset with me. But your mother told me that she knew about Luca’s new will, and if the board takes over, Jacob would be at risk of a quarterly meeting to decide if he’d still have his trust—”
“That’s a damn lie,” Rocco snarled. “Mom knows that can’t be undone. And if she lied about that, she lied about the new will.”
“She was telling the truth. Luca said it on the video I just watched.” My hand shook as I put the USB drive back in and clicked the file on the laptop. Luca’s face appeared, and I paused.
Rocco glared over at it, his jaw clenched. “Did he?”
“Yes. And…uh, Luca also said he was sick, and he’d need the board’s approval. He reinstated the child provision restrictions. He was going to hold an emergency board meeting after the wedding.”
Rocco stared at the screen. “Grandpa knew that wouldn’t work. We have contracts and an approved will. He also knows I’d have fought him tooth and nail, but he lived for the fight; he taught me that makes the man. To fight for what you want, not just take.” His tone was laced with repulsion.
I shot him a glare. “Is that really what you think? That I just take and never work? Damn it, all I’ve ever done is fight. My whole life.”
He placed his hands on his hips, his lips pursed. “Well, that’s part of life. Fighting never stops. Let me see that legal document Luca left you.” He finally took the papers and scanned them. “He left it up to you?”
“He left it up to your mother. Olivia said she had the votes to give the trust the power.”
“She wouldn’t dare give away our families’ power. I’ll be speaking with her, but this is still on you. If you’d have just told me the truth, I’d have eased your worries—”
“She said she’d find another woman for you that’s willing to have children now, and I don’t want to be replaced—”
“You can’t be replaced,” he spoke over me. He pushed his hands back through his hair. “Fuck. This is insane. A baby right now.”
“Is it? You’re a billionaire. We can afford it,” I said, and chewed on my lip. “We could make it work.”
He smirked. “Children need more than money, Adelina. We’re at the beginning of our arranged marriage, just getting to know each other.
You have your illustrations, a possible business that’s just getting off the ground.
I have Marini Corporate now to deal with.
I have a film production already in progress, other contract obligations, and fundraising for the movie studio. Adding children now would be insane.”
“But if we did, you’d satisfy the will and start your movie studio. It could all work out.”
Rocco pressed his chest. “Not for me. I didn’t want to use our children as pawns. I wanted us to stop that cycle. It was my right, damn it.” He lifted his head toward the sky, tunneling his hands through his hair, and closed his eyes. “Damn it…it was my right.”
Nausea twisted my stomach, and I wiped my clammy palms on my lap. “It was…maybe still is. I’m probably not pregnant. But time doesn’t wait for us to be perfect. My grandmother is the last of her line. Her family tried waiting, and now I’m all that’s left.”
“I know. Luca told me that as well, but I’m sure there were other reasons. That’s not us.”
I pressed my fingers to my throat. “Maybe so. But I promised her children, and I want her to hold her great-grandchild and find peace, just like I wanted Luca to have that chance. Family matters, Rocco. Our family above all else.”
“Even me?” he muttered softly, and my heart broke.
“No one is above you in my heart,” I whispered.
“You say that like you mean it, but you’ve made me feel alone.” He stared into the distance, lost somewhere I couldn’t follow. My mind filled up with rebukes for what I’d done. You should have told him. Why didn’t you? Shame washed over me, and I wanted to disappear.
I coughed, wiping at my eyes. “I’m sorry, Rocco. If-if I am, I’ll have an abortion, and no one will have to know but us. We can try later when we’re both ready.”
“No, you can’t,” he said and sighed. “If you’re pregnant, then you’ll have the baby. We move forward. I just. I didn’t see our lives playing out this way.” What he meant to say was that he didn’t see me as someone who would hurt him.
“I’m sorry, Rocco. I have agonized over this, but the most prominent thought has been that I would hate to hurt you. Because you’re right. Loving someone means you put them first.”
“Please don’t keep secrets. It ruins trust.”
“I agree.” So does manipulation, and I felt I’d had a lifetime of that. I truly hated to see Rocco so angry…and so disappointed in me. “I don’t want to make any excuses, or suggest that it could be ideal either, but if we’re pregnant, perhaps we can make it work like Nadia and Paul have.”
My brain wasn’t able to defend. How could I defend what I knew was wrong? Even to my ears, I was grasping at straws.
He grimaced. “I don’t want Nadia’s and Paul’s life for our child. Miles flies around with tutors, lives in ten different places a year with nannies.”
I shrugged. “Miles seems happy. He’s wonderful.”
“He is,” Rocco said. “He’s Paul. Everyone loved that Paul was a little adult, too.
But I know the pressure and expectations Paul’s been under, raising himself.
I was lucky I had my grandparents. Grandpa didn’t leave me while my parents jet-setted all over the world.
He taught me so much. But damn…he wins. He always wins. ”
“It’s not about winning or losing, Rocco. It’s about us chasing our dreams. I want you to have your movie studio. The new terms will help—”
“You still don’t get it. The terms robbed us both of our choice—”
“My choice is to be happy now,” I said and cleared my throat. “I have a good life with a man I love and possibly a child created in love—”
“Created for profit. Created for gain. I would be no better than my father.” His repulsion made me hate what I’d done even more.
I dropped my head into my hands and sobbed. “I’m sorry I hurt you. I know I was wrong. I don’t know what will happen, but there’s a good chance I’m not pregnant.” I wanted to offer him hope, anything to make him stop looking at me like I was a stranger. Or worse, his enemy.
“Yeah.” He blew out and checked his watch. “We’ll make an appointment with Dr. Vitale. But, anyway, we need to catch our flight.”
“You still want me to go with you?” I mumbled, peering up, but he’d already turned away from me.
“That’s right. I’m not letting you out of my sight.”