Chapter 47
PIP
"Oh my God, Pip. Are you alright?" Zaza says, as she and Keesha rush toward me.
"When we saw all those flashing police cars outside, we didn't know what to think!" says Keesha.
"Yeah, it looks like that billionaire of yours pulled out the big guns," says Zaza, looking around the room for him. "He must have called the mayor or something. So give us the juice! Was it like that TV series about a SWAT team? Was there gunfire? Did one of them rush forward to rescue you?"
"No," I say laughing. "It was this little guy here."
"Piglet rescued you?" says Zaza. "What are you talking about?"
I laugh. "It's a long story." I give them a short, but detailed description of everything that happened since I left my apartment.
"But Piglet is the hero of the night, aren't you, Pal,” I say, chucking him beneath his chin.
Piglet lets forth a happy-sounding yip. Then he snuggles closer to my body.
"Oh, there's your aunt," says Keesha. "I'll go over and say hello. How did she take the news?"
"You know, Aunt Vivian always looks at the bright side.
But guys," I say, shaking my head. "She's going off the deep end.
The way she talks, it's as if she thinks this is a real wedding.
I mean, look around this ballroom. Film cameras are everywhere.
Can't she see the make-up station for all the extras Clare and Kit hired to act like my friends and family? "
"Are they getting paid?" Zaza demands, hands on hips.
"I think so."
"Then your real friends should get paid too!"
"I'll talk to them about it. But the point I'm trying to make is that Aunt Vivian is in her late forties. Too young to go all dotty on me."
"Yeah, well, if you ask me, what your Aunt Vivian needs is a little nookie to loosen her up a bit."
"Zaza!" Keesha says. "Have respect!"
"What's disrespectful about nookie? She's an attractive woman. I've always wondered why you never tried to fix her up with a guy, Pip. Especially after you moved in with Keesha. She's probably lonely."
I hear Kit issuing orders to the media team.
"Look, guys, the shooting's going to start. I'll see you after they stop filming."
"Yeah. And here's to hoping they have some real Champagne to celebrate your fake wedding."
I glance around the replacement ballroom, this one on the higher floor. It's been transformed into a film set. Crystal chandeliers sparkle overhead, while the hum of equipment provides an odd counterpoint to the traditional wedding decor.
I look up to see Snickers enter the room. My breath catches. He's so handsome in his formal wedding outfit.
"You clean up nicely," I say, walking over to him.
"I wish I could say the same for you," he says tenderly, taking my face in his hands.
"You're saying I look a wreck?"
"Far from it," he says. "Despite everything you've been through, you're beautiful. But you've been through hell. I wish you had taken Clare up on her suggestion we postpone the shoot for another time."
"No way. I want this ridiculous fake dating campaign to end tonight. Sure, at midnight, I'll end up like Cinderella and will have to go back to my old life. But so be it."
Piglet yips. I turn to see him watching the wardrobe lady as she approaches with a miniature doggy tuxedo.
"Oh no," I say to the woman, "you're not putting my dog in that!"
But Piglet lets forth an excited yip. Leaning toward the woman, he paws at the small black and white garment like he can't wait to wear it.
"It looks like Piglet overruled you, Pip," Snickers says, laughing.
"I'll take him away and brush him out," says the wardrobe lady. "But you better come with me and get into your wedding dress. Clare had the bridal shop rush a fresh one over."
"Well," I say, looking at Snickers for a long moment. "I guess this is it."
I swallow, realizing the weight of what I'm saying. Tonight marks the culmination of all our fake dates. Tomorrow, I'll be reporting to a new office as a temporary secretary.
The thought fills me with sadness, but I flash Snickers a smile. "I'll see you at the altar."
The wardrobe room buzzes with activity as assistants rush to prepare last-minute costume adjustments. A few minutes later, Piglet sits watching me in his adorable doggy tuxedo while the wardrobe lady helps me into my wedding dress.
Though it's beautiful, the strapless beaded wedding dress doesn't have a "soul" like the vintage one.
But it's an appropriate fake-looking dress for a real fake wedding.
After the makeup artist finishes my final touchups, Kit appears at the doorway.
"Hey, Pip, we're ready for you," says Kit, waving me over to where she stands with a distinguished-looking man in his fifties.
"Pip, I'd like you to meet your father. His name is James. He'll join your aunt in walking you down the aisle to give you away."
James looks like the type of actor who would play a dad in an upscale streaming series like Succession.
He's good-looking, the kind of guy who probably keeps in shape playing tennis and golf.
"Hello, Dad," I tease.
"Ah, my darling daughter," he says, his blue eyes crinkling a bit as he smiles at me.
"You look like a rich dad in reality," I say. "Not a gentleman getting paid to act like a rich dad."
"You never know about these things. I heard the actor playing the justice of the peace is really a justice of the peace."
We both laugh.
"That young man you've chosen better treat you right or he'll have me to deal with," he says with a pleasant-sounding laugh.
We chat for a few minutes while Kit gets everyone into position. It turns out he's a recent widower with grown kids and time on his hands.
When Kit brings Aunt Vivian over to us, I introduce them.
I see James' blue eyes sparkle as he charms my aunt as breezily as he charmed me.
Hmm. Maybe Aunt Vivian will get her nookie after all.
Finally, Kit calls for quiet on the set. She motions for James and my aunt to take their positions by my side.
Before filming starts, Aunt Vivian squeezes my hand. I turn to see her eyes go misty as the familiar strains of "Here Comes the Bride" resonate through the room.
A flower girl child actress strews flowers before me as we walk down the aisle.
Snickers waits for me at the top of the small dais, near the justice of the peace.
I'm so mesmerized by Snickers, his smile, his gorgeous suit, I hardly hear the man's preamble to pronouncing us man and wife.
Snickers favors me with the most romantic gaze I've ever seen. No man has ever looked like that at me before.
"And you, Snickers, take this young woman to be your lawful wedded wife to have and to hold for all time?"
"Yes."
A young boy actor comes forth. An enormous diamond ring rests on the velvet pillow he holds.
Kit's photographers zoom in for the close-up of this shot.
"Wait," says Snickers. "This ring is nice. But I have one I think Pip would like better."
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Clare whispering into Kit's ear.
Snickers is going off script! I think to myself. What's wrong?
I watch as he reaches to pull a gold chain necklace from around his neck. On it is a small ring. Plain gold, but delicate with an old-fashioned engraving on it.
"This is my mother's band," he says. "It’s been handed down to brides in her family for centuries. An ancestor wore it to America on the Mayflower. I'd like you to have it."
More whispering between Clare and Kit.
"Quiet on the set!" Kit announces, before coming up to us.
"Snickers," she says. "I'm sorry, but we chose the large diamond ring because it photographs better. If you want to give Pip a ring, you'll have to?—"
"Pip," he says, putting the ring on my finger. "I'm asking you to marry me. You are the love of my life. And from the moment I met you, I knew you'd be mine. Would you do me the honor of being my wife?"
Out of the corner of my eye, I see Zaza and Keesha bouncing up and down, mouthing the words, "Say yes."
At first, it's a mere whisper. Then a squeal. Then a full-blown chant: "Say yes, say yes, say yes!"
Though actors and media types are usually blasé on set, Snickers' improvised speech has excited them.
They join the chorus.
"Say yes, say yes, say yes."
Soon, it's a full-on chant.
Aunt Vivian breaks away from the spot where Kit had arranged for her to stand, and approaches me.
"Say yes," she practically orders.
I feel her warm arm on my shoulder, see her bright smile, and also the joy in her sparkling blue eyes.
"Say yes, say yes, say yes," she says, joining in the chant.
I turn to Snickers. "Well, well," I say, "I guess I have no choice in the matter.
"I say yes."