Chapter 40
CHAPTER
FORTY
Alistair doesn’t bother disguising his satisfaction when I choose to play. His thin smile curls, and his fingertips meet in front of his face like he’s about to unwrap another gift.
“It must be unique and reasonable,” he says. “Now, tell me.”
When someone asks what your heart desires, only an idiot tells the truth. Refusing to say what I really want is second nature by now, but this time my lie might actually do some fucking good.
“Help Brad’s mom,” I say. “His whole family. Whatever they need.”
Alistair’s smile flattens. “That is not what your heart desires.”
“It’s all I desire from you. Don’t punish them for my choices.”
Defiance hits with its old rush.
He holds my gaze until his smile slowly returns. “You are a puzzle,” he says. “Consider it handled. Brad’s family will be secure, and I’ll tell him it was you.”
Dae gasps and throws his arms around me.
“Now,” Alistair says, “tell me what you really desire.”
My composure fractures as Alistair strips away the last lie within reach. With Brad’s mom safe, there’s nothing left between me and the truth.
“I want Jake,” I say, steady even as my pulse races. “I can’t stop wanting you.”
Alistair perks up. “And what do you want from him?”
The truth I’ve been dodging sounds too much like my father and the kind of control I swore I’d never inherit. In my head, I can already hear him saying it for me.
But I swallow, hold Jake’s gaze, and say it in my own voice.
“I want to control him.”
The room goes still, but Jake’s expression comes alive.
He offered himself to me once, and now I can see the offer is still there.
So is the problem. Alistair still has his greedy billionaire hands on him, and the thought of those hands touching Jake makes my vision narrow as the part of me I tried to leave locked in that room uncoils.
I don’t want to share him. I won’t.
“If he’s still in your game,” I say to Alistair without looking away from Jake, “then I want to be the one to administer his final test.”
Alistair’s gaze flicks between us. “As long as Jake is playing my game, I administer the tests.”
“You said it had to be unique and reasonable.” My pulse pounds, but my voice stays level. “You’ve controlled every other test. Let this one be mine. You asked what my heart desires. This is it.”
Alistair huffs. “I don’t hand people off.”
“That’s because he’s not yours to give.” I turn fully to Jake. “I thought wanting you like this meant I was ruined, that it was darkness beat into me by men like him. But it’s not darkness. It’s fucking hunger, and it’s mine. I’m sorry it took me this long to get over my own fear.”
Alistair studies Jake. “And you’re okay with this?”
“It wasn’t that long,” he says, then turns to Alistair. “Yes. I want him to control me. On my terms.”
I drag in a breath, but Jake’s yes leaves me just as unsteady.
“Tell me, exactly, what you want,” Jake says. “And say it like you fucking mean it.”
Maybe with practice, this will stop feeling so jagged. Right now it feels raw and sharp, like I’m gripping something dangerous that could hurt us both if I hold it wrong. But it’s mine. And Jake wants it.
“Everything,” I admit, and once the word is out, there’s no stopping the rest. “I want to take you apart and put you back together with me at the center. I want to tell you what to do, and I want you to fucking do it.”
“Jesus, Marcus!” Evie snaps.
I don’t look at her. “But I want your trust more than your obedience. Let me earn the right to keep you.”
“Good.” Jake finally smiles, and my tightness eases. None of this frightens him. He wraps his arms around me and nuzzles into my chest. “Take me,” he says.
“Fine,” Alistair says, before blinking too many times, like he’s realizing he gave up too easily. “But only if you perform for us. For me.”
“I don’t care if you watch,” I say. “You just don’t get to direct.”
Jake tips his head back. “You want to fuck me, Marky?”
The word drags something primal up through my blood, hardening my cock and coaxing all my shadows to the surface.
“Oh, I want more than that,” I murmur, and kiss the top of his head as he tugs me toward the playroom.
“So we’re doing this?” Evie asks, following after.
Jake laughs, and we turn, side by side.
“You used me,” I repeat, “hurt me, and helped me. But I’m not about to let you touch what’s mine.”
Jake pulls me at the hip, and I squeeze him back while my darkness and thrill rise together.
“What if I give you half of my million?” she asks. “We’ve fucked at least ten times, Marcus. Don’t be stupid. Name your price.”
I study her, like I’m considering it, and her question from the after-interview flashes hot in my head. “Give me all but five thousand.”
Jake’s fingers tighten.
Greed flashes through Evie’s eyes. “Deal,” she says.
I let her cheapness hang between us long enough to enjoy the way it hollows her out. “You’re pathetic,” I say. “I just told you Jake’s mine.”
“Fuck you, Marcus.”
“No. I’m going to fuck him, and you’re going to leave.”
She goes red and turns for the hidden door.
“Oh, Evelyn?” Alistair says quietly.
“What?” she barks back.
“I said, they’ll be performing… for all of us.” His glass catches the red light as he lifts it a fraction. “Step out that door and I void the contract.”
Her mouth drops open. “You can’t. We have an agreement.”
“Sue me.” Alistair’s smile grows wider. “Marcus has the story. I have the emails. You have a choice. Keep your dignity and go. Or watch what you can’t buy, and take your money.”
Evie doesn’t hesitate. “Fine. A million dollars just to stand here,” she snaps, and her eyes flick to the playroom wall. “Want me to gag myself too?”
“If that’s what you think you deserve,” Alistair says, already bored. “I certainly won’t stop you.”
She crosses to the hooks, selects a ball gag, and straps it on slowly, eyes locked on me the whole time, daring me to blink first. The rubber squeaks between her teeth.
I already knew she wanted money more than dignity, but I can’t help the thrill.
I turn back to Jake.
His hands rake down my back as he kisses me, and the room falls away around us.
“I want to be yours,” he whispers. “Please. I want you inside me.”
I cup the back of his neck and settle my thumb under his ear to steady us both. “You’ll get that,” I say. “But not until you earn it.”