13. Ria
CHAPTER 13
RIA
R ia leaned against the counter, her heart racing. She had just come very, very close to kissing Tristan. The triplets’ dad. Her boss. And he’d come very close to kissing her, too.
Everything had happened so fast. One moment, they’d been cleaning up the kitchen, which was certainly not a very romantic activity, and the next, he’d been holding her hand and looking down at her with those deep-green eyes. In that moment, Ria had been overwhelmed by his nearness. He smelled like aftershave and peppermint and something masculine and warm. He was taller than her by about a foot, enough that he had to bend down, and she’d had to lift onto her tiptoes. It was all too easy to imagine what it would have been like for him to capture her mouth with his own and pull her against his muscular torso. He was strong enough that he probably could have lifted her clean off the ground, yet Ria was sure he would have been gentle, too.
Ria shook her head. She could not let herself get caught up in her daydream of kissing Tristan. She needed to focus. Allowing herself to get so close to him had been a mistake — a big one. She turned back to the counter, where she began mixing a new batch of muffins. As usual, baking calmed her, and she soon found herself able to think more clearly again.
It had seemed that Tristan wanted to kiss her, too. Ria’s heart fluttered at the thought — but she knew it didn’t matter. Even if Tristan had wanted to be closer to her, a guy like him was probably interested in a fling, not anything serious. And Ria knew she wasn’t the kind of woman who could have a fling. She always cared too deeply and with her whole heart. If this man, who she already found attractive, kissed her, she’d fall head over heels.
There was also a good chance that Tristan hadn’t shared her feelings. Maybe she had misread the whole situation, and he really had just been helping her clean up after their food fight. Either way, she needed to keep her distance. There was no denying her crush now, but there was also no pretending that it was a good idea.
Within a few minutes, Ria had mixed the muffin batter, which she poured into the tin and topped with cherries and chocolate chips. The oven was already warm, so she popped the tin inside and set a timer. There were a few sounds from overhead, but no more crying over the baby monitor. Ria hurried upstairs, caught sight of Tristan helping Jamie into a dinosaur T-shirt, and slipped into her room before he could see her. There, she took the quickest shower of her life to get the remaining batter out of her hair, changed into a pair of gray jeans and a dark green T-shirt, and pulled her hair back in a quick braid. In the mirror, she looked every bit the professional nanny, and not at all like the woman who’d just had a food fight and almost-kiss with her boss in the kitchen.
A few deeps breaths later, she joined Tristan in the triplets’ room. To her surprise, the kids were already dressed.
“Did you do all this?” she asked.
Tristan turned to her with those intoxicating green eyes. Ria tried to ignore the flutter she felt in her stomach when he looked at her. “Contrary to popular belief, I do have some skills,” he said with a wink. The flutter intensified, and Ria quickly went to Jacob and scooped him up.
“Shall we have breakfast?”
“Yay!” the triplets chorused. Ria lifted Jamie into her other arm as Tristan picked Jasmine up. They carried the triplets downstairs, where Ria settled them into their high chairs just as the timer on the oven began to beep.
“Hey.” Tristan caught her arm as she turned to get the muffins out. For a moment, tension blossomed again. “Do you need me?”
“Hmm?” In her sleep-deprived and borderline swoony state, Ria almost misinterpreted his question. Before she said anything ridiculous, though, she realized that he was asking if she needed his help with breakfast. “Oh, um, no. I can manage. You should get ready for work.”
“Thanks.” Tristan’s hand lingered on her arm a moment longer, warm and firm, before he left. Ria quickly got the muffins out and returned to the kids with sippy cups of water and some mandarin segments. She kept her thoughts firmly focused on the triplets as she prepared their breakfasts.
The morning poured by slowly like honey from a spoon. Ria entertained the kids with a craft project, took them on a walk through the neighborhood, and made them a quick lunch, yet her thoughts kept drifting back to Tristan. She remembered his hand on her arm, his gaze on her own, his warmth as he’d bent closer. It was hard to push the memories from her mind, even though she needed to.
At nap time, Ria napped alongside the triplets. She badly needed to make up sleep from her very early morning. The afternoon went by in a whirl of library story time, an episode of the toddlers’ favorite TV show, a round of sensory stations, and a while snuggling on the couch while singing and reading picture books.
Ria cared for Tristan. She did. But as the day went on, she reminded herself that she cared about the triplets more. What mattered most was doing what was best for them. These kids had lost their mother, and they needed Tristan to be a good parent. Until he could be, they needed Ria to be a good nanny. She would focus on taking excellent care of the triplets and teaching Tristan to do the same. Anything she felt, anything she imagined, anything she wished for… none of it mattered in comparison to the triplets.
Ria reminded herself of that all day, each time her thoughts drifted back to Tristan. By the time he came home around four thirty, she was practically sure that their almost-kiss hadn’t mattered at all.
At the sound of Tristan’s footsteps in the hall, the triplets leaped off the couch and ran to greet him. There was a noticeable difference in how they behaved around Tristan since he’d started spending more time with them. Ria followed more sedately. She wished she didn’t feel so nervous about seeing Tristan again.
“You’re home early.” She leaned against the wall as Tristan and the triplets finished their greetings.
“I wanted to help with dinnertime. I’m early enough, right?”
“Your timing is perfect.” Jasmine wandered over to Ria, arms lifted, and Ria picked her up. “Follow me.”
As she and Tristan prepped rice and veggies for the kids and double-teamed dinnertime, Ria felt any residual awkwardness from the morning melting away. She and Tristan slipped back into easy banter as they brought the kids water and chatted with them about their days. Jasmine told an elaborate story about a unicorn, showing off her developing verbal skills, while Jacob arranged his veggies into fancy shapes on his tray table. Jamie sang a song about a squirrel as he happily ate his rice.
“What do you think, honey?” Tristan asked, leaning towards Jacob and gesturing to the carrots. “How does your dinner taste?”
“Good.” Jacob smiled a bright smile, and Ria’s heart warmed at the clear expression of love on both of their faces.
“I would say it’s just as good as the food in Italy. My compliments to the chef.” Tristan winked at Ria, who grinned.
“Thanks.” Then a thought occurred to her. “Have you been to Italy?”
“Several times, actually.” Tristan straightened and leaned against the counter as his expression grew thoughtful. “It’s a beautiful country. Lake Como was my absolute favorite, although there’s a lot to be said for Venice.”
A new kind of longing flared in Ria’s chest. “I’ve always wanted to travel, but I haven’t had much opportunity for it. My biggest adventure thus far was accompanying a family I was nannying for to Disneyland. It was fun, but chaotic.”
“I used to travel several times a year,” Tristan replied. “Sometimes for work, sometimes for fun. Now, of course, I’m a little more stationary.” He nodded to the row of triplets.
“Well, when they’re a little older, I’m sure you can all travel together.” A sudden image bloomed in Ria’s mind — the triplets, age eight or so, with matching backpacks and luggage, standing on the tarmac of a private airport somewhere. She could almost see Tristan, in his usual rock-and-roll T-shirt, taking their hands as they climbed the steps and took off on some adventure. The longing in Ria’s chest intensified.
“I’m sure. And I’m sure you’ll get a chance to travel sometime, too. Where would you most like to go?”
“Hmm…” Ria bent to wipe a little rice out of Jamie’s hair. “I’ve always wanted to visit Hawaii. Perhaps it isn’t the most exotic of locales, but I always loved the beach and the mountains, and I’ve heard so many wonderful stories about Hawaii.”
“I’ve never been there, but it’s on my list, too.” Tristan grinned. “I’m sure the kids would love it. There’s lots of space to run and play, and I think they’d like swimming in the ocean. When they’re a little older, of course.”
“Of course.” Ria turned to fill Jasmine’s sippy cup with a little more water, trying to ignore how much she suddenly wanted to be a part of that future trip to Hawaii. She’d like to be there when the kids first dipped their feet into the warm turquoise waters and tasted a cone of shaved ice. She wanted to help them shower the sand off, then slip off to the terrace with Tristan to watch the sunset and?—
Ria cut herself off. There was no point thinking like that. She was just the nanny.
“Well, it looks like everyone’s finished.” She put her hands on her hips, surveying the triplets. “Who wants a bath?”
She and Tristan carried the triplets upstairs and got them into a warm, soapy tub. As they played with their flotilla of rubber ducks, Tristan leaned against the counter.
“I hope I’m not intruding,” he said.
“Oh, not at all.” Ria was sitting on the floor beside the bathtub on the bathmat, as she usually did when the triplets were bathing. His presence was deeply distracting, but she wasn’t going to say that. “The kids like having you around.”
As if to punctuate her point, Jasmine grinned up at Tristan and waved.
“I hope so.” Tristan smiled and waved back. “So, tell me, where else would you like to go?”
Ria considered changing the subject. Imagining future trips that would never happen with a family she wouldn’t ever be part of was too hurtful. Perhaps it was better to face things head-on, though.
“Lots of places. My family did a lot of camping when I was younger, since it was a cheap way to have a fun vacation with a big family, so I’d enjoy doing more of that. I’d happily take a tour of Europe, or go on safari in Kenya, or cruise to Alaska to see the whales.” She paused to hand Jasmine a duck. “What’s the best place you’ve been?”
“Probably Italy, though there were a lot of places I loved. Ireland was gorgeous. I was in Japan for a while, and I liked that a lot, although I didn’t get much chance to explore since I was working on that trip. I once went to India.”
“India.” Ria smiled. “When I was a child, I had a book of photography taken in India. I used to flip through it before going to sleep. I loved the colors and how everything looked so… alive.”
“I loved India, although people are right when they say it’s a land of contrasts. The traffic is so busy, the temples are so peaceful, the skyscrapers are so tall, and the food is so spicy. It’s everything all at once.”
“That sounds like parenthood.” Ria poured a little water onto Jamie’s hair. “If India really is a land of contrasts, I think the triplets must be the very best preparation for going there. They’re always either at a hundred or at zero.”
“True,” Tristan replied. “The other day, I was taking Jamie up to bed, and he was wiggling and dancing and chatting in my arms. I put him in bed, and he just flailed and sang. Then, I stroked his hair for literally thirty seconds, and he was out like a light.”
Jamie beamed up at Tristan. He clearly understood that he was being discussed, even if he didn’t know exactly what they were saying.
After bathtime, Tristan and Ria carried the kids into their room and tucked them into bed. Tristan read a few stories while Ria stood by the door. Her heart warmed as she saw the way Tristan smiled at the kids and kissed their foreheads before slipping out.
“It’s been less than a day, and you’re already getting the hang of this,” she said. Then she hesitated. Usually, she’d ask if Tristan wanted to join her in the kitchen for a shared dinner, as they had several times, but she wasn’t sure it was appropriate after their near miss this morning. She should probably go back to her room instead.
As though he could read her thoughts, Tristan spoke up. “Would you like to join me for dinner? We can get takeout from that Chinese place.”
Ria’s heart soared at the invitation, even though her logical brain repeated that she should just slip off to her room for a quiet evening. In the end, her heart won out.
“Sure. I’d love to.”
Joining Tristan for meals, talking about travel plans with him, and going through the triplets’ routines by his side wasn’t going to help her get rid of her crush. Yet Ria also couldn’t stop herself from soaking up every moment that she felt like a real member of this little family.
To an outsider, she thought, as she followed Tristan downstairs, they’d look like a real family. If someone peered through the windows of Tristan’s mansion now, they’d see two parents in the kitchen, sitting at the table, chatting about travel. They’d see the kids, sleeping peacefully upstairs.
They’d never know that Ria didn’t really belong.