Chapter 39
Chapter Thirty-Nine
LILITH
Part of me wishes I could have sat beside him in that sterile waiting room, but what comfort could I really offer?
Something tells me he and Michael needed that time alone anyway.
As I unlock my townhouse door, a warm certainty fills me—father and son have crossed some invisible threshold today.
I can't explain how I know, but I do. The fortress around Roman's heart has been developing tiny fissures for months now, barely visible but significant.
Like cracks in a dam that start as whisper-thin lines before the whole structure gives way to the pressure behind it.
"You made it," I say, ushering him toward the kitchen where the scent of melted mozzarella and marinara hangs in the air.
My chicken parm isn't fancy—just breaded cutlets, jarred sauce, and cheese that bubbles golden at the edges—but it's honest comfort food, paired with asparagus spears and a simple salad.
His lips brush my cheek, but his eyes are somewhere else entirely. After we eat, instead of joining Jack for movie night on the sofa—tempting as that sounds—I lead Roman to the balcony. We stand side by side under the night sky, his silence a tangible thing between us. I let it be.
Roman's eyes lock with mine, his voice raw.
"Lilith, my father's heart stopped today.
For three minutes, he was gone." His fingers tremble slightly.
"If Whole Foods hadn't had that defibrillator...
" He trails off, jaw clenching. "When I was thirteen, my swim teammate Dave just...
collapsed after a meet. Perfect health, stronger than me even.
" Roman's voice catches. "Long QT Syndrome—his heart couldn't recharge between beats.
That school had no equipment. Nothing." He shakes his head. “Goddamn school, not having basic life-saving equipment. Our school had one, of course, but not this Holy Cross school who hosted our meet. If our meet was at home, he would’ve lived a long life.”
"What kind of equipment?" I ask softly.
"AED. Automated external defibrillator." His eyes darken with memory. "One shock could have saved Dave. Given him a chance at a pacemaker, medication, a future." Roman's knuckles whiten. "My father got that chance today. But for those three minutes..."
I reach for his hand, my stomach plummeting. His text had only said his father was in the hospital—not that Michael's heart had stopped beating before doctors brought him back.
"Oh, Roman...how terrifying."
"Yeah." His voice catches. “Knowing your dad flatlined, even for a few minutes..." He shakes his head. "Changes how you see everything." He squeezes my fingers. "I'm not saying all is forgiven. But I'm ready to let him back in."
"I know," I whisper. The investor's meeting for Michael's resort project had already told me that much, but hearing Roman say it aloud makes something warm unfurl in my chest.
Roman's eyes meet mine, vulnerable in a way I've rarely seen.
"But I realized something. I'm still waiting for him to disappear again.
And that's why—" he swallows hard, "—why I've tried to keep you at arm's length too.
Once you've been blindsided like that...
you start expecting everyone to vanish. You build walls.
Prepare for the worst. Because nothing hurts more than being caught completely off guard by someone walking away. "
I nod. "Since we're sharing our deepest fears, I should probably tell you mine."
"I'm listening."
"I worry about what happens when the fairy tale ends.
Right now, everything's magical—the way you look at me, the electricity when we touch, those late-nights where we're discovering each other.
But someday the magic fades." I pause, my fingers fidgeting with the edge of my sleeve.
"On nights I'm alone in my bed, I stare at the ceiling thinking about the moment you'll finally see the reality—a billionaire hotel king and a woman who reads tarot cards for a living.
When that day comes, what's stopping you from walking away? "
His smile vanishes, replaced by a look of raw hunger.
"Lilith." Her name sounds like a prayer on his lips.
"When the honeymoon ends—when we're stripped bare of pretense—I'll still be here, clawing my way back to you every damn day.
" He grips the edge of the table until his knuckles whiten.
"My entire life has been warfare inside my skull.
A fucking bloodbath. I've channeled it—through the hotels, through beating Caspian to a pulp in the ring, through pushing my body until it breaks.
" His voice drops to a growl. "But the chaos always returns.
Always. Except with you." He reaches for my hand, his touch desperate.
"You silence the screaming. You're not just a want, Lilith.
You're oxygen. You're salvation. And I will burn this world to ashes before I let you go. "
I nod, relieved. “Well, since you put it that way….”
His eyes lock with mine, burning with raw intensity.
"You don't have to worry about me leaving.
But you—" his voice breaks, "if you bolt when things get tough...
" He grabs my hands so tightly it almost hurts.
"I'm not there yet, but goddammit, I'm trying.
Because losing you would destroy me. I'd shatter like my father did. "
His breath catches as realization floods his face. "My father—" he whispers, voice ragged. "My mother wasn't just someone he loved. She was his fucking oxygen. Just like you're mine." His voice drops to a dangerous whisper. "That's why he broke. He couldn't breathe anymore."
A muscle jumps in his jaw as he swallows hard. I grip his arm, feeling the tension vibrating through him. He's finally seeing the truth about his father. About why his father left. And when he fully understands, fully absorbs it, that forgiveness will break like a dam.
I can already feel the flood coming.