Chapter 49
Chapter Forty-Nine
Two Weeks Later
Bella
Two weeks after bringing Julian and Olivia home, I’d learned several important things about motherhood.
Sleep was no longer something I did for eight hours straight.
I could change a diaper with my eyes closed.
I could tell which twin was crying from another room.
And my husband, the controlling man who once needed absolute order and silence in his penthouse, had become obsessed with his children who peed, pooped, spit up, and screamed all over everything he owned.
Just as I was drifting off back to sleep, I heard Olivia fussing in her bassinet. She wasn’t crying yet, just fussing. I’d learn the difference and quickly became an expert. I lay there, frozen, afraid to move, for even the slightest sound would wake the twins up.
Olivia’s fussing sound quickly turned into a soft cry. Shit. I started to push myself up, moving carefully because my incision was still sore, when Simon’s arms flew across me.
“No,” he said.
I glanced over at him, and his eyes were still shut.
“No what?”
“I’ve got him,” he said.
“It’s your daughter this time. And you’re asleep.”
“I’m awake,” he mumbled.
“You’re talking with your eyes closed, Simon.”
They quickly opened. “See, I’m awake. I’m coming, baby girl.” He threw back the covers and climbed out of bed.
He walked over to the bassinet, leaned down, and picked her up.
“What’s wrong?”
Olivia let out another cry.
“Are you hungry?”
She cried again.
“Do you need a diaper change?” he asked, and she cried again.
“Are you just pissed off in general?”
I laughed, and Simon looked at me. “Go back to sleep.” He placed her against his bare chest, and she immediately stopped crying.
“That’s what I thought,” he said.
I rolled my eyes and shook my head.
“All she wanted was her father.” He smiled.
“Correction, she wanted to be held,” I said.
“By her father.”
“Okay. Keep telling yourself that.” I laughed.
He started heading out of the bedroom with her.
“Where are you going?” I asked him.
“To the living room so you can sleep.”
“What if she’s hungry?”
“There are bottles in the refrigerator,” he said. “Go to sleep. You need your rest.” He walked out of the room.
I settled into bed, but it only lasted about ten minutes before Julian started crying. My eyes flew open. I picked him up from his bassinet.
“Good morning, handsome.” I smiled, clutching him to my chest.
I went into the living room, and Simon wasn’t there.
Looking into the kitchen, I smiled when I saw him standing at the island, holding Olivia against one shoulder while preparing a bottle with his free hand.
His hair was a mess, and a cloth diaper hung from his shoulder.
If only his work associates could see him now.
“I told you to go back to sleep,” he said when he saw me standing there.
“Your son decided to file a complaint.” I walked into the living room, sat on the couch, and latched him to my breast. Simon sat down beside me, with a bottle for Olivia. Neither of us said a word, and for a few minutes, the penthouse was quiet.
Two weeks ago, we’d come home from the hospital with two babies and absolutely no idea what we were doing.
The first night, we were terrified and didn’t sleep at all.
A few nights after that, I would catch Simon standing at their bassinets, making sure they were still breathing.
And now? We established a routine and felt a little more confident as parents.
Five Years Later
Simon
“Daddy, stop.”
“I’m not doing anything, princess.
I stared at Olivia through the bathroom mirror as Bella finished pulling her hair into a ponytail.
“Tell Daddy it’s okay to be a little sad,” Bella told her.
The thing was that I wasn’t sad. I was fucking miserable, and had every right to be.
Today was Julian and Olivia’s first day of kindergarten, and for the past week, everyone had been acting like it was some exciting milestone.
The twins couldn’t wait to go. Bella was excited to send them off.
And my father called the twins last night to tell them how proud he was.
Apparently, I was the only person who understood what was really happening.
My children were leaving me for six and a half hours, five days a week.
“I’m not sad,” I lied.
“Liar.” Bella smiled.
“Do I look pretty, Daddy?” Olivia asked, jumping down from the bathroom counter.
“You look beautiful.” I crouched down in front of her.
“Like Mommy?” She smiled.
“Exactly like Mommy.” I kissed her cheek.
“I love you, Daddy.” Olivia threw her arms around my neck.
“Love you too, baby girl.”
She pulled away from me and ran out of the bathroom. Bella folded her arms and stared at me.
“Don’t you dare, Montclair.”
“What? I didn’t say anything.”
“You don’t have to.” She walked over to where I stood and placed her hand on my chest.
“You’re going to be okay,” she said.
“I have no idea what you’re talking about, Bella. I’m fine.”
“You’ve been weird since you woke up,” she said.
“I have not.”
“Really? You asked me if kindergarten was really necessary.”
“I was joking.” I chuckled.
“No, you weren’t.” She walked out of the bathroom.
We went into the kitchen where Julian was eating pancakes. He was still in his pajamas.
“Why aren’t you dressed yet?” I asked him.
“I’m eating,” he said.
“You can eat in clothes.”
“I didn’t want to get syrup on them,” he said.
“Fair enough. But we’re leaving in thirty-five minutes.”
“I know.” He shoved the last piece of pancake in his mouth, jumped out of his chair, and ran out of the kitchen.
The last five years had gone by way too fast. It felt like just yesterday that I stepped off the elevator holding a car seat in each hand.
I was terrified that somehow, we’d break them.
I remembered their first teeth, and their first steps.
Julian ran straight into the coffee table the first week he learned to walk, and Olivia said Daddy first before Mommy.
And now they were attending kindergarten.
We stood outside the doors with the other parents. Some children were already crying. They didn’t want to go and were holding onto their parents for dear life. Not my kids. Nope. They were excited and couldn’t wait to get away from me like the little psychopaths they were.
The door opened, and their teacher proudly smiled as the kids stepped inside. We walked our children into the room.
“Hello, students and parents. Are we ready for a wonderful day? Parents, I need you to kiss your kids goodbye and exit through the door.”
I crouched down in front of Julian and hugged him first. “I love you, son.”
“I love you too, Daddy. Love you, Mommy.” He ran over when he saw one of his friends.
I crouched down in front of Olivia and pulled her into me. “Have a good day, princess. I love you.”
“Love you.” She blew us kisses and ran to Julian.
A sadness washed over me as Bella and I walked out of the room. I stopped and took one more look through the window.
“Come on, Daddy. They’re fine.” Bella grabbed my hand.
“What is wrong with you?” I asked. “You don’t seem the least bit sad.”
“I’m not. This is where they’re supposed to be. Look at how excited they were to start school. Besides, I have no idea what’s going on with you. You’re at the office all day and don’t even see them until you get home. Nothing’s changed, Simon.”
She had a point, but this felt different.
“I want another baby,” I blurted out as we climbed into the back seat of the car. Nick looked back at me.
“Are you crazy?” Bella laughed. “We have a boy and a girl. You really want to risk having another set of twins?”
When she put it that way, I’d changed my mind.
“You’re right. Two’s enough.”