CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
“R occo….” I cried in a strained voice, my breath uneven. We were still naked in his bed and his hand was between my thighs, stroking my pussy.
“Mmm…you sore?” There was undisguised satisfaction in his voice. He nuzzled my breasts and slid two fingers inside me. I moaned, tensing around them.
“You want me sore?” I got out between shallow breaths.
“I want you happy,” he whispered.
I was with him. I could still feel his sensual attention all over my body. I was sore, achy, and desperate for him to do it all over again.
“Open your legs wider so I can watch my fingers tease your sweet cunt.” Rocco was a great lover, gentle when he needed to be, demanding when he didn’t. The possessive, dominating way he controlled turned me on the most. While it mortified me to do it, I wanted his praise as much as his desire.
I shyly bent my leg and opened my thighs, giving him an uninterrupted view, and we both watched as he pumped his fingers. My skin flushed as my hips pushed into his fingers and I moaned loudly. It felt so good. “Ohh, don’t stop,” I moaned, breathless.
“I won’t, Adelina. Every time I see your cunt, I want to eat it.” He teased my clit to make me wetter, but I was already soaking.
Rocco groaned, and went to his side table and pulled out a condom. I watched him roll it on his large and thick erection. Just staring made me wetter.
My breath hitched, and he gave me a lustful stare.
He stroked his cock. “You want it, Bella. All I want is to fuck you.” He lifted my thigh over his own. And he shoved his hard cock inside my pussy. I cried out as he rolled back, pulling out to the tip, then pulled my thigh as he shoved back in, again and again. My body vibrated as the rough drives of his cock moved in and out of me, the pleasure so intense.
“Ohh, God,” I called out between breaths.
“Mmm, fuck. I can’t get enough.”
He buried his head in my neck, and moaned, his arm moving around to hold me closer, grabbing my ass as he rocked his hips. I gripped the back of his damp head, squeezing my eyes shut as my body tensed in anticipation of the orgasm building inside it.
“Oh, my God,” I repeated over and over. My core tightened as he ground his cock inside me with harder thrusts. My moans were louder as my hips pumped with his.
“Fuck, yes, Adelina. That’s right. Fuck me,” Rocco yelled. I cried out as I reached my climax, my hips pumping as my sex rippled around him. He roared out, gripping me tighter, his hips still moving as he came, his cock throbbing inside me. We were slow to pull apart to rest on our backs. He leaned over and gave me a quick kiss.
I whimpered inwardly. Sex was new. My body was just adjusting to it after he took my virginity. Still, I knew if he reached for me again, I’d let him.
I did a full body stretch as waves of bliss flowed through me. “That was…amazing.”
Rocco chuckled. “It was, Adelina.”
Rocco was commanding and gentle in bed and the combination had me craving more. Such a euphoric sensation. Here, he was open with his needs and desires, but everywhere else he was a mystery I wanted to solve. I wanted to know what made him who he is today. Why he was set out to spoil me like he had already. I also had my own worries. What did he think of me?
I chewed on my lip.
His hand skimmed over my arm closest to him, and goosebumps rose on my skin. “What are you worried about?”
“How do you know I’m worried?” I murmured.
“Because last night was a big change. You shared your body with the man you’ll marry soon, a man you don’t know well yet.”
We were starting our relationship with a binding commitment, but I was at a disadvantage. He was my first kiss, my first touch, my first sexual experience. Would even being with me this way mean anything to him?
He tugged my arm, but I resisted.
“I’m fine. I just need to think it all through.” I tried to add a lift to my voice.
“Come here,” he said in a gentle, but demanding tone.
He pulled me on top of him, wrapping his arms around me. That’s when I realized I was trembling. “It’s only us here. Tell me what’s on your mind.”
There was something magical in this faraway place.
The closeness of our bodies and the warmth of his tone had me dropping my defenses.
I was hardly ever hugged as a child and had never felt so bereft of touch.
I cleared my throat. “I don’t…I don’t even give…or receive hugs often. I didn’t expect to…come.”
“It doesn’t happen all the time. I’m glad you were able to with me.”
“What…what was your first time like?” I whispered.
He sighed. “My first time, I was scared I wouldn’t last long enough…and whether I mattered.”
I turned my head and rested my chin on his chest. What he shared was close to what I was feeling, but I hadn’t expected it from Rocco. “Why would you think that? I’m sure you did.”
“I’m not. I always competed with myself to excel, to be the best. That’s what my girlfriend at the time wanted. She wanted what she thought was ‘Rocco Marini.’ I’m not sure if anyone I was with ever did.” His voice was barely audible.
There had been stories written about him since birth. The public scrutiny must’ve been immense . And I hadn’t made it better showing him that space meme . “I’ve behaved awful, too. I’m sorry, Rocco.” He looked puzzled, and I reminded him about that photo.
“What? No, Adelina. I can take jokes. It’s the person’s imaginary image of me that I don’t like. That was the pressure I had when I had sex. I’m better now.”
My hand traced over his nipple. “How did you get past it?”
“I did what felt right. That’s what I want for us, too.” He lifted my hand and kissed my palm.
I appreciated how open he was with me about his experience. However, there was still the other issue we hadn’t fully discussed—birth control. We’d already had sex again, and would need to talk about it. The pressure from my grandparents weighed heavy and a trickle of fear rose, diminishing the afterglow. “Can I ask you something personal?”
His hand rubbed my back. “Of course you can, and I’ll try to answer.”
I braced myself. “Why are you so opposed to children?”
He stiffened under me, and I moved off him and laid on my side, facing him. “Listen, Adelina, I’m not opposed to children; I’m opposed to rushing to have them.”
“Oh,” I mumbled.
“My father was always angry growing up. I mean, he was a real asshole. When I got older, I understood why. He told me he’d met my mom in his arranged marriage a week before the wedding. They married, and she’d had me nine months later.” He rubbed the space between his brows. “Grandpa had told him a happy wife was a pregnant one. Dad was working rich, not wealthy. He had to follow his advice. At twenty-five, he had a wife and kid and wasn’t mature enough to handle it. He resented us all and only mellowed when he could send us off to boarding school. I hated it, hated him.”
I grimaced. “Oh, I see…But surely your mother must’ve had a say in it?” My voice rose a few octaves.
He tutted. “Come now, Adelina. You know better.”
My eyelids lowered. “Yeah, I do.” Too well.
“My mother had to be the good wife, let him rule the house. She missed out on us growing up because my father wanted only the two of them there. He at least let Siena, my sister, spend her high school years at home. Mom loved it.”
“Do you still feel the same way about your dad?” I asked. They seemed to get along at the party.
“Growing up, made me understand him, and I forgave him. He’s now more like a cool uncle than a father in my life. Not sure if he wanted children at all, or at least not so fast.” He was casual in his tone, but I could feel the pain in his words. I could relate to feeling unwanted. Many times growing up I thought Mama’s life would have been better without me. I’d fantasize about her getting away and starting over.
I moved close and laid my head on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, Rocco.”
He sighed and hugged me to him. “I’m fine. But that’s why I believe marriage doesn’t mean we need to have kids right away. You’re only twenty-two, and I’m sure you want to enjoy some of your life first. You were just talking about finding a career.”
It was clear Rocco wanted to wait. What if I didn’t have a child right away? What would my grandparents do? I didn’t want them to treat me like they did Mama. She was so sure that, without a child, I left myself vulnerable to their whims. But Rocco was also right; I didn’t have a childhood. I had to grow up fast, working and surviving. I barely even knew myself right now. My child wouldn’t benefit from my naiveté. I need time, even a year, I hope . “Maybe…yeah, perhaps you’re right.” I glimpsed at him, and he let out a deep sigh.
“Then it’s settled. We’ll get birth control. I’ll get one of my aunts to have her nurse meet us at her clinic.” He reached for his cell phone.
I grabbed his arm. “No way are you calling a relative to tell them we’re fucking before our official marriage.”
His eyes widened. “Yeah, your family will lose it. I’ll call Isla.”
Rocco was on the phone with Isla at the crack of dawn, organizing a clinic visit, and I hoped this job made her happy. At the same time, I wanted to talk to someone. Mama? No way. Even if I considered it, she was on a timeout from calls. Cassidy? I hoped. I rolled over, and he took my waist. “Where are you going?”
“Shower,” I said.
“Wait a sec, I’ll join you,” he said with the phone still against his ear.
“We have sex, and now we’re joined at the hip?” I half-joked.
But his face had softened and my heart pounded. “No, Bella. I simply want to be with you.”
My chest fluttered, and I sat there with him until he ended the call. Then we both went back inside his primary bathroom and into the walk-in shower.
The lights were on. He could see a few old scars that had mostly faded; he’d seen more than anyone else had. I tensed under the spray, but he moved behind me. He took the sponge from my hand, lathered it up with a lavender mousse, and washed it over my skin. He kissed one on the back of my thigh, and I shook. His hands gripped my hips and made me turn to face him. I stared down at this incredibly gorgeous man on his knees before me. “You’re so beautiful, Adelina.”
“Not everywhere,” I croaked.
He traced a scar. “Sports?”
“Fights,” I mumbled.
“You? No way,” he chuckled.
“Yep, me. I tried to….” Make myself hard. Ugly. To keep Judge Colby from hitting Mama. To keep him away from me.
“Adelina?” Rocco said, and I could see he was concerned.
I plastered on a smile. “I had a smart-mouth…and I’m pretty scrappy. My birth father, if you’d call him that, was violent. I had to protect my Mama.”
I hadn’t wanted to share, but he’d been so open with me. My body tensed, unsure of how he’d respond.
He stood and hugged me, rubbing my back. “I’m sorry you both went through that. You won’t ever need to fight again. I’ll protect you.”
I squeezed his waist he was so certain. We held each other and the embrace changed to a lustful one. I could feel his erection pressing against my stomach. My nipples grew tighter against his broad chest, and I peered up at him. “Do you want me to….?”
“Not yet. Let me show you how I like it.”
Rocco stood there, with his godlike body, muscular, confident, and strong as he fisted his cock, and I couldn’t look away. He stroked his shaft in front of me and moaned. My body warmed watching him. His head fell back as he jerked himself, his moans and breaths harsh. It was brutal, intense.
I wanted to touch him, please him. His hands stroked faster. I was sure he was getting close. I bent down and closed my mouth on his dick, and he let out a deep moan.
“Fuck, yes. Adelina,” he drawled out. He clutched my head, pushing his cock further inside my mouth. His skin was hot, the head soft and spongy. I gagged and swallowed. He tasted warm and salty.
Rocco kept me there, sliding his cock against my tongue as he fucked my mouth. His cock flexed and rippled as his come filled my mouth, and I swallowed it down. I trembled hard when we let go. My eyes were watery, and I lifted my brows. I wanted to know if he was happy.
He grinned broadly at me as his chest rose and fell. “I thought you’d be too shy.”
I blinked up at him. “I was curious.”
He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my forehead. “Go ahead and experiment with me whenever you want.”
My heart fluttered.
We finished cleaning up. After, I rushed back to the other bedroom to finish dressing. I wanted to call Mama, but remembered I couldn’t. Her feelings towards Rocco wouldn’t have improved after he told on her. He didn’t know what was going on. If he did, I’d like to believe he’d have done things differently, but I doubted it. It was about disrespect for him. She’d only tell me she disliked Rocco but keep trying to get me to become pregnant to keep him.
I tried Cassidy.
Ring. Ring. Ring . Her voicemail came on.
“Leave a message,, and I’ll call you back later.”
My heart dropped, and I tensed all over.
“Cass, sorry I missed you. I’ll try you later. Kay, Bye.”
I slumped my shoulders. What can I do?
Then I thought of Nadia. She was basically a stranger, but our lives were similar. She shared her private experience. Then again, she’s Rocco’s friend. Still, I needed advice. She had told me she was due back in France. I shook as I dialed her number; my pulse jumping in my throat.
“Adelina,” Nadia sang out when she answered. Her voice was warm, friendly. It eased the tension and nerves I had and I relaxed my shoulders.
I smiled. “Hello, Nadia.”
“It’s lovely to hear from you. How are you doing?”
“I’m…I’m great, thanks,” I said and chewed on my bottom lip.
“I’ll be sending your dress soon for a fitting. I can’t wait to see you wearing it.”
“Thank you. I’m very excited to see it,” I said, and we went silent for a few seconds. My pulse sped up.
“How’s Italy?” she asked.
“Great, uhm, we went to Siena di la Palio and Pisa so far.”
“Wow, I haven’t been there yet,” she said, and we went quiet again.
“Adelina, I’m happy you called me. But I suspect you had a reason more than an update on your wedding dress,” she said in a softer tone.
I sat down on a chair and pulled my hair over my shoulder. “No…uhm. Rocco and I, uh, we had….”
“Had sex for the first time?” she asked in a gentle tone.
“Yes, we did.” I touched my hot face.
“How do you feel?” she asked.
“I feel…I don’t know, scared?” I hunched my shoulders.
“That’s natural. Sex is a very emotional experience. My first time with Paul, I was also scared.”
“You were?” I croaked.
“Yes, I was. I had to get past the fact that he was famous. I felt insecure because he’d dated women that were much more sophisticated than me.”
I exhaled long. “That’s how I feel, too. How did you get over it?”
“Realizing Paul chose to be with me. Everything that he did was to bring me into his life.”
“Rocco, too. He’s been great.”
He had done the same. He’d gone out of his way to include me in his life. He encouraged me to explore my own interests. He also didn’t pressure me to have sex. He waited until I was ready.
“Sex can be emotional and bring up a lot of feelings. My advice to you is to stay close to him. If he’s busy, tell him you need him to stay with you.”
My pulse sped up. “Can I really do that?”
“You can. I promise you,” she said. “He’ll want to keep you close, anyway. Trust your feelings and let him know them. All right?”
Her advice was what I needed to hear. I didn’t want to be alone. Rocco was already keeping me close. He even had me shower with him.
I heard a creak behind me and turned my head. Rocco stood quietly in the doorway waiting.
“I have to go, thank you,” I told her.
“I feel honored that you trusted me, Adelina. And I hope you always will. Anytime, day or night. I’m here for you.” Her kindness touched me deeply. I could only hope that she meant it and that…well, that I had a new friend.
“Thank you,” I said hoarsely. We ended our call, and I took a deep breath.
Rocco came over and took my hand. “Come back to bed.” He didn’t ask who I’d called, only that he wanted me with him. I stood, and he tucked me into his side.