Chapter 9 #2
Why couldn’t my anger and bitter disappointment be strong enough to overcome this treacherous desire?
All these years, I’ve resisted every advance, every interested glance from other men.
I was certain this immunity was the result of how thoroughly Ethan had destroyed me.
Yet here I am, trembling under the touch of the very man who shattered my heart into a thousand pieces.
“Why?” I whisper, gazing up at him with desperate confusion, needing to understand why it’s him—why it has to be him—when he should be the last man capable of making my pulse race.
His amber eyes meet mine, and there’s something burning in their depths, an intensity that reaches out and shakes me to my core.
He never used to look at me with such raw want before.
Never spoke to me as though my thoughts mattered.
Never made me feel like I was anything more than a means to an end.
Back then, when I’d first fallen for him, it had been different—I had been different.
But now? Now these feelings are infinitely more complicated, more dangerous. This constant push and pull between us is utterly exhausting. He’s been slowly drawing me in from day one, and my resistance crumbles a little more each time.
Ethan’s hand rises, the back of his knuckles caressing my flushed cheek with devastating tenderness, his voice dropping to that low register that makes my knees weak.
“Don’t look at me with such vulnerable eyes, Natalie.
It makes me want to drag you to my bed and ruin you for every other man who might dare to touch you. ”
Heat floods my face as he winds his fingers through my braids, which I still haven’t properly fixed.
One sharp tug pulls me flush against his solid chest, the scent of his skin making my head spin.
His voice turns rough with promise. “One day, when you finally surrender to what’s between us, I’m going to have you wear these braids just like this.
They make perfect handles, don’t you think? ”
The memory that surfaces is vivid and scorching. Ethan’s fingers tangled in my hair as he pulled my head back, a primal sound rumbling from his throat. His length filling my mouth as he guided my movements with that firm grip, using my hair like reins.. .
Liquid heat pools between my thighs, my legs suddenly unsteady. How could I have forgotten what an absolute beast he was between the sheets? He’d kept me awake for hours, and during every single one of those hours, he’d been utterly relentless.
My lips part involuntarily, desire and frustration warring in my chest as this heady sensation overwhelms my senses.
I know with crystal clarity that if I just say the word—if I give him even the slightest indication—he’ll carry me to that bedroom right now.
He won’t question my sudden change of heart, won’t analyze my motives.
I want to say it. God help me, I want to experience those earth-shattering sensations again.
I want to feel his hands claiming every inch of my skin.
Just once more, I tell myself, even as my thoughts grow hazy with want. If it’s just sex, it doesn’t have to mean anything, right?
“Natalie?”
Convincing myself has never been easier, I realize, as my hand slowly rises to wrap around his silk tie.
Really, it’s pathetically simple. He wants to sleep with me—he’s made that abundantly clear with every heated look, every deliberate touch. Even if he claims that is not all he’s looking for, I’m not stupid enough to take him at his word.
His eyes widen slightly as I pull him down toward me, my voice barely above a whisper, “You’re so fucking annoying, Ethan.”
My mouth finds his, and the familiar rush of heat ignites within me, a desperate craving that sets my pulse racing.
Fine. He wins this round. But this time, when I fall into bed with him, it’s going to be entirely on my terms. With no expectations, so he can’t hurt me. No emotional attachment, so he can’t break me.
His strong arm circles my waist, pulling me closer, and for just a moment—one devastating moment—my scarred heart gives a painful flutter.
Once he gets what he’s been chasing, he’ll lose interest. That’s how these things work, isn’t it? The thrill of the chase vanishes when the prey turns around and walks towards the hunter. This way, I can protect what’s left of my heart while finally getting this man out of my system for good.
But as Ethan presses me back against the cool wall, his mouth moving against mine with desperate hunger, all rational thought begins to dissolve. He doesn’t ask why I’ve changed my mind, and I’m glad. I don’t want to talk.
I just want his hands on me.
His tongue traces the seam of my lips, demanding entrance, and I part them willingly. A soft sigh escapes when he draws my tongue into his mouth, sending shivers of pleasure straight through me. The wetness between my legs intensifies.
It’s so easy with him. All he has to do is touch me and my body responds.
Those same fingers that had been so carefully fixing my buttons moments ago now work to undo them. His palm slides beneath my shirt, ghosting over the flat plane of my stomach, and I can’t suppress the sharp intake of breath that follows.
I’m not used to being touched like this. It’s been far too long.
But I don’t push him away. Instead, my hands go to his shirt, to take it off, undoing the tie, reaching for the buttons of his vest. Ethan’s hand comes to wrap around my wrists, and he pulls away from me, his eyes filled with a ravenous hunger that echoes within me.
“Have you changed your mind?” he demands roughly, holding my wrists captive.
“What does it look like?” I arch an eyebrow, fighting to appear nonchalant even as my body thrums with anticipation.
“Why?” His jaw tightens with frustration. “Last night you said?— ”
“It’s just sex,” I interrupt bluntly. “It doesn’t mean anything.”
He goes perfectly still. “This doesn’t mean anything to you?”
Pretending indifference is nearly impossible when my breathing has turned ragged and his taste still lingers on my lips. Not when I can still feel the phantom touch of his hands on my skin.
“No,” I lie smoothly. “It doesn’t.”
A bitter laugh escapes him. “You expect me to believe that?”
“You don’t know me as well as you think you do, Ethan,” I shoot back, embarrassment making me defensive.
Releasing my wrists, he grips my chin firmly, forcing me to meet his intense gaze. “So you’re telling me that sex with me would be completely meaningless? Is that what you’re saying?”
Something about the way he phrases it doesn’t sit right, but I nod anyway. “We obviously want each other, so let’s just get it out of our systems.”
“You want me out of your system?” he repeats slowly, his voice dropping to a dangerous whisper. “Do you really think it’s going to be that simple? One quick fuck, and you’ll be able to walk away from me without a second thought?”
“You walked away just fine,” I counter, my jaw tightening. “Surely it can’t be that hard.”
Fury flashes in his amber eyes as he jerks me closer, his face mere inches from mine, voice turning harsh. “How long are you planning to punish me for that?”
Rage surges through me, and I fist the front of his shirt. “Punish you? I’m giving you what you wanted. You wanted me. You can have me. It’s going to be on my terms, though. And I don’t want anything aside from sex. I was na?ve the first time around. I won’t be so foolish this time.”
Ethan studies me intently, some unreadable emotion flickering behind his eyes. “You think it’s going to be that easy for you to walk away from me afterward?”
His other hand tangles in the hair at my nape, grip possessive and firm. “You think you can handle me, Natalie? Treat me like one of your subordinates? Let’s see just how well you can handle me.”
His breath scorches against my mouth as his lips trail along my jaw to my ear. He nips at my earlobe with just enough pressure to make me shiver, and my knees nearly buckle when his hand slides down to wrap around my throat while the other makes quick work of my remaining buttons.
His mouth crashes down on mine with bruising intensity, his tongue demanding entry and claiming every inch of my mouth.
There’s nothing gentle or romantic about this kiss—it’s all teeth and tongues and raw, desperate need that has me gasping against his lips.
I feel him unhook my bra, and suddenly my chest is bare as he tosses the garment carelessly into a corner.
Pressed against the wall with nowhere to retreat, I’m completely at his mercy.
He cups my breast, his thumb toying with the nipple. I shiver as he pinches the hardened nub almost painfully before rolling it between his fingers. I never knew my breasts were so sensitive, but when he touches them, I moan a wanton, needy sound.
The pleasure is sharp and heady, making me lose myself in it. His hand is moving lower, pushing past the barrier of my slacks, and he rubs the heel of his hand against my wet pussy.
My knees buckle, and only his strong grip keeps me upright as his mouth blazes a trail of open-mouthed kisses along my jaw. “I haven’t even really touched you yet, and you’re already so wet. What should I do with you, Natalie?”
“That’s—It’s not—” I stammer breathlessly.
His low chuckle is pure sin. “You’re like a faucet, so fucking wet for me.”
Before I can form a coherent response, his finger slips past the lace of my panties to find my most sensitive spot.
He pinches my clit between his fingers, and I cry out, sagging against him as pleasure rockets through me.
His laughter turns smug and satisfied. “You’re doing such a fine job of handling me.
Five years may have passed, Natalie, but I still remember exactly where to touch you. ”