Chapter 12 #2
Wet laughter bubbles out of me. I tilt my head back and stare at the night sky, trying to will my tears away.
I wanted to have a huge family, like I told Ethan.
I wanted to have so many children. I wanted to love them.
I wanted a house—a home , filled with the sounds of little feet running around.
I wanted everything my childhood was not.
What a foolish, little pipedream.
Closing my eyes, I lean my head against the wall, the chilled stone a welcome sensation against my heated skin.
“Maybe I should just leave. I can always sell off my jewelry. Pay him back and be free of all of this.”
I hear the voice before I sense the presence: “Whose jewelry are you selling?”
My eyes fly open, and I see a familiar face.
“Mr. Blake?”
Standing before me is Roland Blake, the man Ethan introduced to me as his biggest investor.
I’m about to get to my feet when he shakes his head and sits down beside me with a small groan.
“These corporate gatherings are simply not for me. All these people chattering in my ear, trying to bleed my wallet.”
He settles down, gripping his cane, his knuckles white around the intricately carved handle. “I didn’t think anybody would be sitting out here.”
Flushing, I try to stand up. “If you want to be alone, I can?—”
He stops me before I can stand up, pulling me back down quite easily. “Sit. I would appreciate the company. You’re Ethan’s Head of Human Resources, aren’t you?”
I nod. “We met in his office, and I heard you visited my office a few days ago.”
He laughs now, that same booming sound I remember. “Oh, dear. It seems I’ve been caught. I did visit your office, but you wouldn’t see me.”
“I wasn’t in the office, Mr. Blake.” I give him an apologetic smile. “I also oversee the HR management of the manufacturing plant. I was at the factory. If I had known you wanted to see me, I would have canceled my visit. ”
He beams at me. “It’s no problem. I’ll come by again someday.”
I blink at him warily. “Is there something you need from me?”
He shrugs, gripping his cane with both hands. “I feel I was a little rude to you last time. Just a tad bit abrupt. I wanted to take you out to lunch to apologize.”
I gave him a horrified look. “Apologize? To me? You don’t have to do that. And you weren’t rude. I’m sorry if I gave you the impression that I thought you were?—”
He waves off my apology. “No, I felt bad. I’m an old man, Miss Thorne?—”
“You can call me Natalie,” I say quickly.
“Well, Natalie.” He gives me a warm smile. “I’m an old man, and at this age when a thought settles in your head, it doesn’t go away. I won’t be able to relax till I’ve taken you out to a nice lunch and made up for my rudeness.”
I don’t remember him being rude. I had thought his behavior had been strange, showing up and leaving so suddenly but I had certainly not been offended by it. But for him to feel so badly over it?—
“I really don’t need?—”
“You could also show me around New York.” He pats my hand, his voice determined. “Like young Ethan, I spent most of my life working. Now that I’m old, I want to enjoy my life a little bit, what little I have left of it at least. Can you believe that I’ve never explored the city?”
I glance at him hesitantly. “Did you grow up in New York?”
He shakes his head. “No. But I lived there for quite a few years in my youth. However, I had been in the midst of building my business, so I didn’t get the opportunity to enjoy my time there. I’ve never even been to the Statue of Liberty.”
I gave him an incredulous look. “Never? ”
He chuckles. “It seems I have committed a grave sin. Have you been there?”
“Twice,” I say, the memory making me smile.
“The first time was when my friend and I ditched our classes in high school. I think it was our last year, and we booked a tour that took us to the Statue of Liberty and Ellis Island. We had both saved up our babysitting money. It was fun. A majority of our money went to the tour, so we had very little money to spend on food. We ended up buying a bunch of hotdogs and just carried them around with us in a plastic bag. I ended up with severe food poisoning. Had to be taken to the ER, but it was worth it.”
Roland’s smile flickers. “Your parents must’ve been upset.”
I shrug, the memory no longer as painful as it once was.
“I was on the cusp of being eighteen, so they didn’t call my mother.
They did have to call my emergency contact, though,which happened to be a neighbor of ours.
She stayed at the hospital with me for the whole day, and then when we went home, she made me soup and looked after me. Miss Rita was a sweetheart.”
“I don’t understand.” The older man gives me an intent look. “Why was your neighbor your emergency contact? Isn’t an emergency contact a family member?”
It’s a weird thing to fixate on. “I changed my emergency contact when I turned seventeen. My mother didn’t like being contacted for trivial problems.”
“She neglected you.” Roland’s expression turns grim, his brows furrowing deeply.
The conversation has taken a strange turn, and I don’t know how to steer it back to its original course.
“She was okay,” I say carefully. “She was mostly busy with my older brother. And I was always an independent child.”
Roland studies me for a few moments, and then he turns his head to the side as if he doesn’t want me to see the expression on his face. “Do you like your job? ”
The sudden change in topic leaves me fumbling. “Well, yes.”
When he turns to face me, his eyes are serious. “Are you paid well?”
“I—What?” I gape at him.
“Are you paid well?” he repeats. “I know you’re a rising talent in the industry. I just wanted to make sure that Ethan was paying you your worth.”
“Y-Yes,” I stammer, taken aback. “Thank you for your concern, though.”
He makes a gruff sound. “You’re a good kid. If Ethan is overworking you, you can tell me. I’ll pull his ears for you.”
The very image makes me snort out a laugh, and Roland looks pleased.
“I used to do that when he was young. Ethan wasn’t a troublemaker, but Jake was.
Your boss, though, was loyal to a fault.
If Jake got in trouble, Ethan would go to the ends of the earth to cover for him.
So they would always be punished together. I’ve pulled his ears plenty of times.”
Amused at the idea, I ask, “Are they close now? I joined his family for dinner a few weeks back, and he seems to be very reserved with them.”
“He’s always reserved,” Roland tells me.
“Even as a boy, he was the quiet sort. But very intimidating when he wanted to be. He’s always been the oldest. Although I don’t think Harold or Helen put too much responsibility on his shoulders, he was always a responsible sort.
Those siblings of his were wild. Ethan would be the one to rein them in.
I doubt I’ve ever seen him laugh, though.
Such a serious boy. You say you went to his home for dinner? ”
At the curious glint in his eyes, I immediately raise my hands. “It was nothing like that. We were working late, and his mother invited me as well.”
“I see.” Roland makes a small sound. “He’s a good boy, but too serious for someone like you. You’d be better off with Jake.”
I nearly choke. “Excuse me? ”
“Jake’s got a sense of humor. He’s good with women.” The older man’s expression changes. “Maybe he’s too good. Caleb might be younger, but he’s also quite successful. I always liked the boy?—”
“Mr. Blake.” I try to keep my cool. “I appreciate your efforts at matchmaking, but I’m not interested in anyone. I’m more focused on building my career at the moment.”
When his smile broadens, I feel even more bewildered. “Good. That is how it should be. You have all the time in the world for love. Right now, you should focus on yourself.”
“O-Okay.” I wonder what’s happening right now.
“You said you were going to sell your jewelry.” The man hops from topic to topic so fast that I have difficulty following him. “Are you in financial trouble?”
He’s also not afraid of asking deeply personal questions. I could tell him to mind his own business, but he’s my boss’s boss, and I don’t think Ethan would appreciate me being rude to the older gentleman.
“I was just talking to myself.”
He eyes me dubiously. “Are you sure that boy is paying you enough? What’s your salary?”
“Mr. Blake!” I exclaim, and he sighs.
“Alright, alright. I won’t ask. But if it’s to the point of you having to sell jewelry, I want to have a word with him.”
I don’t know how to respond to this man who has suddenly decided to take such a deep interest in my life. “I appreciate your concern, but I can handle my own problems.”
“Aha! So you are having financial problems!” He looks displeased. “I’ll talk to him. I never took Ethan to be a miser.”
“Who’s a miser?”
Ethan’s voice has me jerking my head up, and he walks into my line of sight, a frown on his face. “Roland, what are you doing in Chicago?”
Roland looks up at him. “Personal business. ”
Ethan glances at me, then back at his investor, and his voice is tense. “So why am I a miser?”
Before I can step in and say anything, the older man gets to his feet, using his cane for support. “How much do you pay your employees, Ethan, that they’re forced to sell their belongings to make ends meet? Natalie here is considering selling her jewelry!”
“What?” Ethan demands sharply, his voice filled with anger as he turns to face me. “What is he saying? Is it true?”
I look between the two men. “Ah. I think there’s been a misunderstanding. I was sitting by myself, talking to myself, and I didn’t?—”
“Are you selling your belongings?!” The cold fury in Ethan’s face makes me go still.
“No. I just—Mr. Blake misheard?—”
However, Ethan doesn’t let me finish. “Roland, I need to talk to Natalie alone.”
“I would prefer to stay here for this conversation,” the older man says obstinately.
He’s clearly only going to make things worse. I don’t know why he’s being this way, but I’m starting to panic.
“Mr. Blake, Ethan and I need to speak privately. Can you please give us a minute?” I finally venture.
His shoulders deflate, and he shakes his head. “Alright. But if he does anything?—”
“Of course,” I say quickly, without even letting him finish his sentence. I have no idea what he was going to say, but I know the more he interferes, the more pissed off Ethan is going to be. The last thing I need is to create a problem out of thin air.
I make sure Roland is out of earshot before I face Ethan. “I’m not selling anything.”
“How bad are your finances?” he asks bluntly.
I close my eyes briefly, pinching the bridge of my nose closed as I pray for patience. Finally I speak. “My finances happen to be none of your business.”
He takes a step towards me. “I won’t ask again, Natalie.”
My jaw hardens as I gaze at him. I refuse to step back. “Or what?” His eyes flash at me, and a fury courses through me. “Go ahead. You made that half-baked threat. Follow through with it. What are you going to do if I don’t answer your question?”
He’s silent, watching me with that unnerving gaze.
“My finances, my personal life are mine. They’ve got nothing to do with you. And what Roland overheard was me considering whether I should sell my accumulated jewelry so that I can pay the penalty for breaking the contract.”
I see something shift behind his eyes. “You’re still considering breaking the contract?”
“Yes.”
“Why?” He takes another step towards me and this time I hear the desperate edge to his voice that shakes me to the very core. “What have I done now?”
I try to say something, tell him the reason, tell him that I don’t trust him, but nothing comes out.
“Is someone trying to poach you?” he finally demands when I don’t answer.
“No.” My voice is low.
‘What have I done now?’
Why would he put it like that?
“Then what is it that has you so desperate to get away from me? Is it Elizabeth? I just shared a meal with her?—”
“It’s not her!” I burst out, wrapping my arms around my waist. “It’s not her. It’s not anything. I just want to leave. I don’t want to work with you or for you. I want to get away from you!”
His eyes widen fractionally, and for the first time, I see a flicker of hurt in them. “Get away from me?”
My mouth is dry as I try to get the words out. “I don’t want to be manipulated or whatever it is you’re trying to do. I don’t understand your game, and I don’t want to play it. I?—”
It’s hard to meet his gaze and admit I’m scared of what he is capable of doing to me.
“I want to be left alone. I don’t want you.
I just want to work in peace, and you never let me do it.
I should never have slept with you. Not back then, and not now.
The only thing you know how to do is hurt me, Ethan.
I can’t survive you a second time. There is nothing left of me to be broken, so stop trying. You already won.”
My body feels numb.
There is a cold spreading within me, an icy cold that is seizing every inch of my body from the inside out.
“I have some investments and—” It’s hard to get the words out when he’s looking at me like that, as if I’m being so cruel to him. “—and some gold bars I bought a few years ago. They should cover the penalty. Please, just leave me alone now.”
I don’t know how my body moves, but I manage to walk away, breaking the last tie between us.
It’s done.
It’s done, and I’m free.
But as I walk out of the garden, through the banquet hall, and straight into a taxi, I wonder why it feels like I’m leaving something behind.
Something precious.