8. Chapter Eight
Chapter Eight
Kevin
Watching Licia storm out was devastating. I stood transfixed in the hallway for minutes after she left, still trying to figure out what my next move was going to be. Why was she proving so difficult to get through to?
I wasn’t trying to invalidate her anger and emotions, but she should at least hear me out and then decide whether she would still be mad at me or understand how helpless I was at the time.
There you go again, Kevin. Making it all about you. A voice in my head chided me.
“Am I really being selfish? Argghhh… I am tired, ” I exclaimed exasperatedly, barging into my room and slamming the door shut.
I had to find a way to get through to her, and fast. I couldn’t deal with the negative energy any longer. It was exhausting.
As I lay on the bed, I kept staring thoughtfully at the ceiling, allowing my mind to be hypnotized by its bright lighting and design. “I need to cool off,” I soliloquized, sitting up immediately.
I would have gone for some tequila shots, but then it would mess with my meds, so I scratched the thought. The beach would be a better alternative.
Nature has a way of absorbing one's agony and replacing it with a light feeling. I was pining for that feeling right now.
I changed into something more comfortable for the beach and made my way downstairs. “Mom, I am stepping out,” I announced as I walked into the living room.
“Again?” She sounded worried, lifting her gaze to meet mine. It wasn’t like I needed her permission to go out, but I always preferred informing her of my whereabouts, basically for accountability purposes.
“Yeah, Mom. I need some air. And, I will be out late, so I won’t be back in time for dinner.”
I saw sadness creep into her eyes as she came closer to me, adjusting the collar of my shirt.
“I saw Licia leave in a hurry. Did you two have another fight?”
“You already know the answer to that, Mom. She is proving impossible and bent on frustrating my every move.” I was dying from the weight of guilt I felt already. She didn’t need to make it worse than it already was.
“Shhh…” Mom hushed me. “Don’t give up yet. Women love men who are both persistent and resilient. If that means going to the ends of the earth to win them back, then so be it.
On that note, if there is any iota of doubt on her end, leave no stone unturned till you earn her trust. Then the rest will be history.”
I took a deep breath. “Fine, Mom. I will try.”
She tapped my chest lightly. “That's more like it, Kev. Do you have a minute?”
I shrugged. “I think I do.”
“Join me. I want to let you in on something.”
“Like what, Mom?”
“Patience, Kev. Sit down first.”
I did as she requested, without further argument.
“Do you know why your dad and I are practically inseparable?” She asked, smiling calmly with her legs crossed.
The answer was obvious. “Because you love each other,” I replied, confidently.
She laughed. “Indeed, we love each other, but other than that, we have had our fair share of misunderstandings and fights.”
This was news to me. My parents didn’t seem like the type to ever argue about anything. If my memory serves me right, while growing up, my dad would rather allow my mom to have her way than for it to degenerate into an argument. It happened not once, and definitely not twice.
“Who would have thought?”
She smiled radiantly. “We almost didn’t end up together, because of the many doubts I had about things.”
“So what changed?” I really wanted to find out. Maybe it would give me some perspective.
“Your father didn’t throw in the towel. He had his flaws, but he relentlessly kept trying to make things right. He fought for what he loved, and here we are today, married and living our best lives with you and Lexie. So, fight for your woman if you really love her. Words can only get you so far.”
I nodded pensively. I liked the sound of Licia being addressed as ‘my woman.’ “I will give it my best, Mom.”
“That’s good to know. I will leave you to get going now.”
“Bye, Mom.”
***
The sun was already taking a dip behind the clouds when I got to the beach. Though it was still hot, the cool breeze made it soothingly warm.
I took off my shoes and walked down towards the cave that once served as a haven for Licia and me. I wondered what it would look like now. It’s been ages since my last visit.
I felt the cold smooth white sand underneath my feet as the wind ruffled through my shirt. It hit me with a soothing sensation that calmed my frayed nerves.
I spread out my arms and inhaled the fresh air deeply, enjoying its warm embrace, before quietly letting it out slowly.
I strolled around to enjoy the scenery for a while, listening to the music of the waves crashing against the shores.
The surfers were making the most of the billowing tides on their boards, giggling and laughing with no cares in the world. I envied their free-spiritedness.
Licia and I used to run the length of the beach in the cool of the evenings. We listened to the birds chirp from a distance and watched the sunset together while planning our future.
But all that is just sad memories and wishful thinking.
If only I could turn back the hands of time, I would right my wrongs and devote myself to making her happy.
As I drew closer to the cave, I saw someone bent over with their back to the entrance. It was already dark, so I couldn't quite make out the figure. I was about to turn back when I heard a sniffle, drawing my attention.
“Sorry,” I began slowly, “permit me to ask. Are you okay?” I enquired, tentatively. There was no way I would leave someone crying out here, without at least trying to be of help somehow, despite the fact that I was burdened with my own issues.
She raised her head and I almost passed out. It was Licia.
“Are you stalking me?” She fired at me, amidst sobs.
“No, no. Not at all. This was purely a coincidence,” I was quick to reply. I couldn’t have her thinking worse things about me.
“So what is it then?” She queried.
“I…I came to cool off my head. I had no idea you would be here.” I carefully explained, trying to avert any form of misunderstanding. “Do you mind if I sit with you?”
She didn't respond. So, I turned to leave, not wanting any more trouble.
“You can sit,” she called out, her voice low.
“Thank you.”
We sat there in silence, saying nothing to each other. After what seemed like an eternity of awkward tension and silence, I broke the ice.
“Do you come here often?” I asked, looking at every other corner of the cave but at her.
“More or less. Especially when I need to sort my thoughts. Solitude is therapeutic.”
“Yeah, it really is.”
“I have been doing so for the last couple of years,” she added.
We became quiet again for another couple of minutes.
“I miss coming here with you, though.”“I don't think you do, Kevin. So, let’s not play that route.”
“Licia, I owe you an apology.”
I found myself lost for words again. Where do I begin to make amends? I had so much to say.
“Are you going to actually apologize or were you just giving me a heads-up?” She retorted, dabbing her mascara-stained eyes with the paper towel. She seemed to have been crying for a while, and I felt my heart cringe at the sight.
Sarcasm… that’s nice. It meant I had her attention.
“Yeah…” Realizing this was my shot at an audience. “I am so sorry for the way I left. I could have tried harder to reach you or at least keep in touch. I am not going to make excuses for that. I was wrong.” I rambled on, unsure of how long she was willing to listen.
Licia just stared into space without making a sound.
“Do you have any inkling of what I went through?” She finally responded.
“I literally planned my whole life around you, Kevin. Picturing a happy ever after with you in mind. I figured that was silly of me. My Gramps wanted to meet with you, but unfortunately, that didn't happen. You convinced me to apply to your college so we could be together; only for me to realize the next second that you were gone…”
The tears had started their trail down her cheeks once again, choking out her words and making her pause for a few seconds. I didn't interrupt her. I was prepared to take the heat, or at least I could try.
“Now you feel like you can waltz back in at your convenience, and tell me you are sorry and it will magically fix everything? Really? Don't be ridiculous.”
Her words were stabbing me like daggers and ripping my heart to shreds… slowly and painfully.
I tried defending myself once more. “Licia, I have never assumed that my apology would make up for what happened to us or the pain you went through. I just…”
“You just wanted to feel better and less guilty, I presume. Not because you care about how I feel.” She interjected with a scoff. “So predictable.”
Probably, she was right about me trying to feel less guilty,
but that didn’t mean I wasn’t genuinely sorry.
I was strongly fighting the urge to hold her in my arms and make her reason with me. But, I guess I would just stick to using my words for the time being.
“Let's rewind for a second. I flunked things badly, and I want to make things right. Please, give me that chance.” I pleaded.
“I hope you understand that I am not stuck up on the fact that you left the way you did. I wouldn't have even given it a second thought if you didn’t bring it up. My problem was with not reaching out… totally leaving me in the dark.”
“I know, and I am terribly sorry. I have been beating myself up over the matter.”
She asserted with a sneer, “You really should.”
“So, do you think I stand a chance at doing right by you?”
“I didn't ask you to do anything of that nature,” she rebuffed.
I had to insist, “but I want to.”
“I honestly don't know what to think or say at this point. It's not that simple,” she averred, shaking her head sadly, and wiping the tears off again.
I couldn't help it any more. I closed in the space between us, without further ado. Cupping her slender face in my palms, I leaned in and kissed her gently but intentionally. I could taste her tears as I made a thousand promises in my heart that I intended on keeping.
The world around us gradually melted away like wax. Nothing else mattered in that moment. Licia didn't break away from the kiss, but I could tell she was still stunned. I don't know if the kiss was going to change anything, but I knew for sure that things were never going to be the same anymore.