The Billionaire's Unauthentic Daughter

C H A P T E R 5 5

I staggered back in shock but he matched my steps and pressed closer to me while wrapping an arm around my waist to support my jelly legs.

My back touched my room door as he continued to kiss me fervently.

My thoughts were a jumbled mess. One moment I was so agitated about Keith quitting his job and then they were quickly replaced with thoughts of how good it felt to be this close to Ethan.

His soft and warm lips were moving against mine as if he was in a hurry.

He was probably waiting for me to push him off and wanted to make the most of this moment before it ended.

He wasn't even pausing to breathe and I wasn't even doing anything.

I was just pressed against the door with my arms raised to my sides in surprise and my eyes wide.

My initial instinct was to push him off and tell myself that it never happened until I believe it but there was this force which wasn't making it happen.

It was so strong, I couldn't do anything for a long time except stand there like a statue as his lips moved at a fast pace all over mine until there wasn't any part of my lips which were untouched by his and yet he still didn't stop.

My surprise wore off after a few minutes and I surrendered.

My shoulders relaxed as I closed my eyes.

Just this once. I'd allow myself the pleasure of this moment which I'd never get again.

It was so much more than a mere kiss, I realized after I closed my eyes and felt the weight of his feelings in it.

It was us communicating about how strong our feelings had become for each other.

What I said earlier was a lie. I didn't hate him.

I liked him so much. All the ignoring I had done about my feelings for him had only resulted in it getting bigger and gaining so much strength that it was capable to knock me off my feet if it wasn't for Ethan who was holding me to him.

Our feelings were so powerful that it had made me back up against the door and had taken control tonight. I didn't even resist as the force flooded my mind.

I wrapped my arms around his neck with my hands in his hair, tugging at its ends.

And then I finally responded to him, assuring him in the kiss that I didn't hate him.

Deep down I had always craved for this sort of connection with him. I'd even fantasized about how it would feel if we did kiss. And now that it was happening, it was so much better than how I had imagined it.

I blocked out all the thoughts and worries and focused on him, the sensations he gave me, the shiver that ran through my body when his hand bunched up my hair at the back of my head and then travelled down to wrap both his arms around my waist and pull me closer until there wasn't any space left.

When he realized I wasn't going to push him away and was actually kissing him back softly, his urgent kiss slowed down to a soft and passionate one.

We were in perfect synchronicity and pace. Our lips were hot against each other and our fingertips running on each other's bodies left imaginary trails which could only be felt.

We were kissing for a long time but when we finally pulled away to breathe after what seemed like an eternity, I opened my eyes hesitantly and saw...Heather in front of me. She was crying. She looked heartbroken and equally angry. She was screaming at me but I couldn't hear her.

I felt two hands caress my face and I blinked and she was gone. I was looking into a pair of warm chocolate brown spellbinding eyes that were staring at me with adoration and so much more.

It was Ethan in front of me with a big smile on his face and then he brought his face closer to mine and I realized he was going in for another kiss.

No. I couldn't allow this the second time. Not after I saw Heather in my imagination.

Before our lips met for the second time, I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away.

He looked surprised and hurt by my rejection.

"Juliet, what's wrong?" He asked, cupping my face as he searched my eyes as if he can get the answer in it. He probably would if we kept looking at each other any longer.

I backed away quickly but there wasn't any space left for me to move.

"This shouldn't have happened," I said sharply, my tone accusing.

I knew it was partly my fault as well that this happened and I knew fully well that I was going to regret this the moment it was done, but still at that moment I really wanted it to happen.

Just once, I had promised myself and I wasn't going to allow a second time.

"What?" He took a step forward and reached out for my hands but I put my hand up to stop him.

"I'm tired. I have to go to bed. And this never happened."

I quickly opened my room door and just as quickly shut it on his face.

Raking my hands through my hair in frustration, I finally let the dam inside me which was brimming with guilt break and flood me with self loathing and regret.

I knew tonight I wasn't going to get any sleep as I had a packed schedule of crying, cursing at myself, screaming into a pillow at my stupidity, overthinking my existence, imagining dangerous scenarios where Heather found out what happened just now, situations where my secret would be revealed and Ethan finding out about it and telling me that he didn't like me anymore, Olivia finding out about it and hating me forever and calling me a hypocrite and just aimlessly staring up at the ceiling for hours.

There would also be a little bit of me being happy and replaying the kiss over and over again until I looked like a tomato with all the blushing.

Like I had predicted, I did not get a wink of sleep last night and I did all the things I was sure I would.

Now I had a small headache which was further keeping me away from sleep.

It was five in the morning, the air was a little chilly and I debated over whether I should stay put in bed or get some coffee and watch the sunrise which I had been doing for a few days now.

I decided to go with the latter because coffee will help me with the headache and also if I got a craving for it later on, it might risk me running into Ethan on the way.

So I silently trudged downstairs, being as quiet as a mouse when I passed by his door. I didn't hear any movements from his room so he must be asleep which made me mad because what he had done a few hours ago did not allow me to sleep at all but he had no problem like that.

After I made a steaming cup of coffee for myself, I decided to make some Nutella sandwiches too in case I got hungry later.

The kitchen felt cold and lifeless without Keith and I had already started to miss him.

I wasn't going to forgive that guy so easily.

He left me without a goodbye, making me regret the last time I saw him.

Had I known it was the last time, I would've held onto him a little longer until I could commit his voice and smell into my memory.

As I was stuffing a spoonful of Nutella in my mouth, lost in my thoughts, I didn't really pay attention to the footsteps that approached me until I saw a figure standing in front of me in my peripheral vision so I was quite startled when I saw Ethan right before me on the other side of the kitchen island.

I wasn't prepared to face him. I didn't expect him to be here at this time. He was supposed to come about half an hour later, that was the whole reason why I had to step out of my room so I could avoid him at breakfast.

But now that he was here, I had to act normal.

I had to act as if the kiss last night didn't affect me, as if it didn't steal my good night's sleep, as if it didn't occupy my mind for six hours straight and as if it didn't unleash my feelings for him like a dam breaking and the water flooding - uncontrollable, unpredictable and dangerous.

I gripped at the tray containing my sandwich and coffee. I refused to acknowledge his presence. Taking my breakfast with me, I prepared to exit the kitchen but his soft voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Juliet."

It wasn't even my name and yet it made my heart flutter.

"Please don't misunderstand my intentions about Keith. Hear me out."

"What other reason could be there for you to send him away? You were jealous and wanted him gone because you thought we liked each other, didn't you?" I was still not looking at him. I couldn't. I'd forget the whole reason why I was mad at him if I risked a glance into those captivating eyes.

"I'm not going to lie to you. It was one of the reasons albeit a small one.

You remember the day we went to buy a birthday present for him and you scolded me for disrespecting him?

I was feeling really guilty about it and I realized I was being immature and I didn't want you to think of me like that because I really am not like that.

So I observed him and he's a good person.

He's also very talented and it frustrated me because he was just letting his talent go to waste here, just because of money.

He has so much potential and so many things to learn.

Staying here was just a hindrance to his growth.

I didn't want that for him. I wanted him to get what he deserved and so I arranged an interview for him.

I asked him if he wanted to learn and become better and of course he said yes and I told him about the interview and he was happy.

I could see that staying here was just a job for him and he was really passionate about cooking before he was offered to be the Jenson's cook. I'm sorry I hurt you because of that."

Hearing this made me feel a little at ease but it hurt me that Keith didn't wait for me to recover to say goodbye, that he'd just go with a mere letter left for me. We were such good friends. I deserved more than that.

I thought back to the letter I read last night.

Dear Juliet,

By the time you read this, I might be on a plane, on my way to Tokyo to fulfill my dreams, thanks to Ethan.

I know you'll be very mad at me for just leaving like that. Believe me, it wasn't any less hard for me. If I had to say goodbye to you in person, I'm not sure I would've been able to do that.

Cooking is my passion but unfortunately working for the Jenson's made me lose interest in it but not completely. Because of you, my little sous chef, I started to like cooking again.

You are my best friend that I wish I didn't have to part ways with. But life happened and now here we are, so far away from each other.

Anyway, I hope you don't forget me and I wish you the best in your life. Eat well, be healthy and stay happy. That's all I want for you.

I have been debating over this from the time I got accepted at the restaurant and I know I'll regret it if I didn't tell you.

I like you.

Not as a friend, but as a woman. I've liked you for a while now.

Do you remember we were sitting in the garden with the cherry blossoms around us and I thought it was the best day of my life.

I was happy, just sitting next to you, even if we weren't talking I was happy to see you.

I told you about a woman then.

That I liked her and that she chose a man who wasn't me. It was silly.

It was you. I'm sure you must have already figured it out. You had just gone for breakfast with Ethan at a café. It wasn't a big deal but I still made a fuss about it in my head.

I'm afraid after reading this, you don't see me as a friend anymore but I don't want to know.

I just wanted to tell you because this might've weighed me down for a long time if I hadn't told you.

But I think I know my answer. You don't like me like that. You just see as a friend. You like Ethan. It's obvious but be careful, he's dating Heather. I just don't want you to get hurt.

As for me, don't worry.

I'll get over you. It won't be easy as what I feel for you isn't just an attraction or an infatuation or a crush.

It's much more than that although I'm sure you didn't know that because I concealed it very well.

It might take time to get used to your absence from my life but I'm sure I'll get there.

I'm sorry if this confession made you uncomfortable but I just wanted to tell you.

Goodbye. I hope we can see each other again. I'll miss you.

Take care,

Keith.

I knew it. He liked me. And he was right.

I didn't like him back which made me relieved that he didn't say that to me in person because I didn't want us to part us like that, with me breaking his heart.

But Keith was so much better. He deserved someone who wasn't fake and so did Ethan.

I was lying about my whole identity. I didn't even know who I was anymore.

And yet these two incredibly beautiful people liked me. And I liked one of them.

I liked Ethan. And I liked the kiss we shared and I wanted more of his kisses. That was just how selfish I was.

I was so lost in thought about the letter that I didn't realize he was still speaking until I heard him say the two words again.

"I'm sorry."

Conflicting emotions coursed through me. He was apologizing to me. What for? Was he apologizing for sending away Keith? Or was he apologizing to me for kissing me?

If it was the latter, it made my heart hurt a little but also feel relieved because he was getting a grip of the situation. We couldn't do this. This wasn't right.

Before I could respond, although I didn't know what to say, he spoke again. "I'm sorry for surprising you like that. I should've had better control over myself. I didn't plan it to happen like that."

I still didn't know what to say to him so he continued. "You were saying things I didn't want to hear come from you and...and I didn't think before I did what I did. I'm sorry for doing that without your permission."

I give a stiff nod to him. "Just make sure this kind of mistake doesn't happen again. We don't want to regret things more than we already are. Just pretend it didn't happen and we'll be fine."

He didn't speak for a few seconds. "Mistake? Regret? Wait a minute...you think I regret it? That the kiss was a mistake for me?"

I jerked my head in his direction to give him a warning look. "Yes, obviously. It was a big mistake and we have to make sure we don't do it again."

He leans over the kitchen island and stares at me.

"It wasn't a mistake to me. I don't regret what happened.

At all. What I was sorry for was that I kissed you without your permission.

You were so surprised, you obviously didn't expect it.

I was apologizing for startling you like that, not for kissing you because damn it, I didn't know I needed it so much until last night, needed you so much in my life. "

"Ethan, what's wrong with you? You're scaring me.

" And it was true, his unhesitant confession truly scared me because he seemed determined to not run away anymore, to not only stop but embrace his feelings for me.

And that wasn't good news for me because if he kept up with that, I might just give in and let him have me.

He grabbed my hand in his warm and soft ones.

"I'm sorry for scaring you. I know you feel burdened by what I've just said but I want you to know that I don't want to run away from you anymore because as you saw, I keep coming back to you.

The truth is, I don't want to run away. I want to be with you and see the beauty of what can be between us.

I want to feel these emotions for you. So please allow me to like you. "

There it was, those words I had feared would come out of him someday.

I sunk my head down. I didn't hear it. I tell myself. Don't get swayed. You didn't hear it. Remember what disaster this would create. You heard nothing.

I looked up at him with a smile. "You should go on a date with Heather. You sound like you miss her a lot." I said, eating another spoonful of Nutella, a little messily as it spread a little on my lips. "Do you want some?" I asked, gesturing to my sandwich and the Nutella.

He just looked at me without his serious expression changing.

Then his gaze drifted down and before I could lick the Nutella off my lips, he leaned over the counter, placed his finger under my chin, lifted my head up so I was looking at him and then pressed his lips against mine, leaving me stunned yet again.

It was a small peck that lasted about three seconds and then he pulled away.

"Yeah, thanks. It's delicious." He said, running his tongue over his lower lip.

I wanted to scold him for what he just did but I was frozen in my place because just as he pulled away I saw something over his shoulder.

I saw someone looking right at us.