C H A P T E R 7 2
?It is during our darkest moments that we must focus to see the light.?
"Tristan," I whispered to his distressed form.
"P-please tell me that was a lie."
I didn't say anything because I couldn't lie to him. He was supposed to find out, just not like this.
He turned back and faced me with teary eyes. My face gave away the fact that no, it wasn't a lie. His face contorted in pain.
He grabbed my shoulders and shook me. "No, please tell me it's all a lie. You-you're playing a prank on me, right? It's not funny. Stop it."
"I'm sorry you had to find it like this." I said quietly.
He let go of me. "No."
He strode forward and walked past me into the room. I followed him.
Olivia looked shocked and scared. "Tristan."
He looked like he wanted to yell but once he was close enough to her, his eyes dropped down to her flat stomach.
"I'm sorry." It pained me to see Olivia so broken, she barely managed to get the words out.
"Why did you do it? Just give me a reason why you didn't tell me. Something that might justify this injustice to me. Anything that might make me feel better."
"I-I had my reasons."
"What are those reasons?"
"You've got to understand. I wasn't sure if you'd want a baby with me. I was scared. I wasn't ready."
"How could you just assume I wouldn't want it? You didn't even think of telling me. You didn't even plan on telling me! You would've never told me if it wasn't for Juliet."
"How much did you hear?"
"Everything."
His eyes kept flickering every now and then to the part of Olivia's anatomy which once held a beautiful baby they had created.
"I was going to tell you soon. You're right. I wasn't going to, but Juliet convinced me and I swear I was going to tell you in a few days."
He rubbed a hand down his face. "Why were you ignoring me all this time?"
"I was afraid you'll know about this and I thought you'd tell me to abort it anyway."
"But why did you think that? What did I do that made you think that way?"
"You didn't do anything. I just thought that you wouldn't want the the news to break out.
I thought I'd ruin your image. I was scared I'd be termed as a gold digger.
You don't know this but I'm just a college student.
I work a part time job and I barely manage to support and care for myself, how could I care for a baby?
I couldn't do it. I wasn't prepared for this. Please understand." Olivia pleaded.
"I really wished you would've told me. I would've supported you and our baby.
I would've married you if you were okay with that.
I love you, Olivia. It started out as a small crush but then I couldn't see myself without you.
But I couldn't do anything because you always pushed me away.
I thought maybe you didn't like me back so I accepted it.
But you hid this from me. I'm hurt." Tristan blinked back tears but he could only keep them at bay for so long. He looked tired.
"My baby," he murmured, closing the distance between him and Olivia and caressing her stomach.
Olivia covered his hand with hers. "I'm so sorry."
Tristan crumbled to the ground, his eyes red and puffy as tears flowed freely down his cheeks. He held on to her hands as he wept.
"It was my baby too. I didn't even know it existed and...and when I knew, it was already too late."
"I love you too, Tristan and I'm sorry I hurt you so much.
I didn't mean to. But maybe we aren't meant to be.
I hope you forgive me. I know it's too soon to ask for forgiveness but I hope you will find it in yourself to do so.
That's the only thing I want from you. Let's not see each other again. I'll be leaving soon anyways."
This seemed to snap Tristan out of his despair and he struggled to get up. When he was finally on his feet, he pulled her into a tight hug. "No, no, no, no, no. I can't forgive you right now but please, Olivia, don't disappear again. I want you."
She shook her head with a sad smile. "You deserve someone better. I'm not good enough for you."
Tristan shook his head at her. "No, please. Don't do that. We can- we can go back to how we were before. We can start fresh."
"That's not a good idea."
Olivia looked at me for help. All this time I had been awkwardly standing to the side as the two sorted out their problems, not that anything good was happening in the end.
I stepped forward and grabbed Tristan by his arm.
"Tristan, don't worry. She's still here. Maybe you two should give yourself some time to think over things. It's been a rough day for you two."
He didn't say anything so I started to pull him out of the room and he didn't object. Olivia and Tristan were still looking at each other when I shut the door to her room. I placed a comforting hand on his back and led him out. Heather and Amelia were sitting in the living room.
"Tristan, what're you doing here?" Amelia asked at the sight of her brother. "Why are you crying?" She asked worriedly. Then as if she put two and two together, she shrieked, "Oh my God, it was your baby!"
Amelia didn't know it was Tristan's until now.
"Even you didn't tell me." He said, his words directed at Heather. Amelia was throwing questions at him but he didn't pay her any attention.
She sighed. "Tristan, trust me I wanted to but I promised her I wouldn't. I had no doubt that you would've taken responsibility but she didn't want you to know.
And I knew you would've told her to not abort it and personally I thought it was the best for the both of you.
She's still in college and you're young too.
It was an unexpected and unwanted pregnancy.
It was a result of a drunken night, a mistake.
I didn't want her to go through a miscarriage so I helped her abort it.
She wanted to abort it too and as the baby was growing in her body, I thought that we shouldn't decide what happens with it or pressure her into doing what we wanted.
Believe me, I'm terribly sad that there was no other option but the abortion and that the fetus had to suffer the consequences of your carelessness, but it was for the best. I'm sorry. "
Just then we heard footsteps and Ethan emerged from the door, playing with his car keys.
"Oh hey," he said to Tristan. "Sorry I'm late. I got caught up in some work. You didn't wait for long, did you? It's good to see you after so long." Then as if taking in the tense atmosphere, he looked around inquisitively. "Why is everyone here at the same time? Is everything okay?"
Tristan didn't say anything. He dropped his eyes to the floor and walked out. I followed him.
"I'll be back in a few minutes. I'll tell you everything." I whispered to Ethan.
"Is he leaving?" He asked, staring at Tristan's back.
"Yes."
"We were supposed to hang out." He said, disappointed.
"I'm sorry. I'll explain later." I said hurriedly, running after Tristan.
He was about to get into his car but I stopped him.
"I need to talk to you."
He hesitated but pulled away. "Now is not a good time."
"Tristan, please. Just hear me out."
"Fine. What is it?"
"Let's go somewhere else to talk."
I led him into the garden and we sat next to each other on one of the benches. He waited while I thought over the best way to make him understand.
"What is it? I want to go home," he finally said impatiently.
"I wanted to apologize for causing all of this. She started keeping her distance from you because I told her to. I caused you two a lot of pain and heartbreak and I'm truly and deeply sorry for it."
"It's not your fault. But what did Olivia mean when she said that you were at fault for the abortion? I didn't understand how."
"She was scared of how I'll react if I got to know about the baby.
Like I said, she avoided you because of me and she still went against me and got pregnant.
I didn't know that my words would affect her so much that she'd choose to abort the baby.
But I didn't even know that she was pregnant before today. You know that too."
He nodded. "I don't think it's your fault."
"Me too. My only fault was that I kept you two apart. I'm sorry."
"It's alright. Do you still think I'm too good for her?"
"I don't know anymore."
We sat in silence for a few minutes.
"This is a beautiful garden."
I looked around the bright colorful place. "Yeah, it is."
"What's that? Juliet and Ethan's Flower Garden?" He read the sign in front of our little flower garden.
I blushed. "That's something Ethan and I did a few days ago."
He cracked a small smile at that. "You two are cute together. I never imagined you'd be together."
I smiled. "Thanks."
"Is there anything you wanted to tell me?"
"No that was pretty much it. Don't hate Olivia too much. Ending up pregnant must've been scary for her. On top of that she felt as if she couldn't tell me anything either."
He nodded slightly. "I hope I wasn't too harsh on her today. I can't exactly be okay with what happened today easily."
"Of course, take your time. If you want to talk to someone, you have Ethan, Amelia, Heather and I. So don't hesitate to reach out." I reminded him.
"Thank you, Juliet."
I gave him a small sympathetic smile.
"Now am I allowed to leave?"
"If you want to."
"I want to." He stood up. "Please take care of her health. I heard that she's not eating and chances of a woman slipping into depression after an abortion are high. Also please look after her and see if she's taking her pills. Don't leave her alone for long."
"That was exactly what I was going to do."
"And please apologize to Ethan for me. I can't hang out with him today. I feel bad. I haven't seen him for a few days now and I'm leaving without speaking with him."
"Don't worry about it. He'll understand."
"Okay."
I went to see him off until his car disappeared out the iron gates. I hoped he'd be alright.
I went back inside to see Ethan.
Amelia was still talking about how she was so shocked that it was her brother's baby and freaking out over what he'd tell his parents.
"Amelia, make sure he reaches home safely." I said. "He left just now." I truly hoped that he wasn't too disturbed and would be able to drive with a straight head.
"Yes. Oh my God, I didn't know something was going on between Olivia and Tristan. My poor brother. I can't imagine what he's going through. I'm going to take him somewhere tomorrow to cheer him up." Amelia rambled.
"Okay, Amelia. We get it. Are you ready to go now?" Heather asked, sighing heavily.
"What, no. I have to talk to Olivia right now. I need to ask her what her intentions with my brother are! It's so obvious he likes her and I need to know what kind of a girl she is. I don't know much about her." Amelia pulled Heather with her in the direction of the guest rooms.
I thought it was best that the two talked to her without me so I stayed back.
After talking to Olivia for a while, they left. I didn't know what they talked about but whatever it was, it managed to calm Olivia better than when I had tried.
Olivia was now asleep after wailing for a long time after Tristan had left. I tucked her into bed and then made my way to Ethan's room. I'd wake her up before dinner.
Ethan had freshened up and changed out of his work clothes. I took a seat on his bed as he was putting on his shirt.
"Oh hey."
"Hi."
"So what happened down there?"
I sighed and launched into a retelling of the events that transpired before he got here.
Ethan listened to me intently and he was as shocked as I had been earlier that day.
"She was pregnant with his baby?"
I nodded.
"Damn, I need to make sure he's okay." He reached for his phone.
"I talked to him and I think he needs some time alone from everyone. Maybe call him tomorrow?"
He hesitated but complied. "Okay. I hope he's okay."
"Don't worry, he will be."
"And what about Olivia, is she okay?"
"I'm going to make sure that she'll be from now on."
He sighed. "I feel bad for her. She's been through a lot alone."
"She had Heather."
"Right. I can't believe my ex didn't tell me about something this big."
I cleared my throat and fake glared at him while crossing my arms over my chest.
He gave me a sheepish smile. He sat next to me and wrapped his arms around me. "I mean my fake ex. Haha."
"Haha." I mimicked him. "Anyways I wanted to tell you that Tristan says that he's sorry for not hanging out with you today."
He shook it off. "He doesn't need to apologize. He went through a lot today."
"He did."
"Oh, and I don't think you're at fault for the abortion. So don't think much about what Olivia accused you of, okay?"
"I won't. I think so too but Olivia doesn't. But it's alright.
She's sad about what she did and just wants to blame it on someone.
I understand her and I'm not mad. She's fragile right now and needs love and support.
If blaming me is what will get her through this, then I'll be willing to take the blame. "
He caressed my hair. "You're a good friend."
"And so are you."
"Now that my day with Tristan is ruined, how about we do something together?"
"What did you have in mind?"
"Movies, snacks and a lot of cuddles."
I pouted. "I want kisses too. Take it or leave it."
"Hey, it's a win-win for both. I'm not complaining. Sure, let's do all four." He chuckled.
"I'll make the popcorn, you choose the movies." I said, about to get up.
"No, I'll make the popcorn, you choose the movies." Ethan countered as he got up before me.
"I can't promise there won't be any chick flicks!" I shouted as he got to the door and pulled it open.
"Honestly," he said just as he was about to shut the door. "I don't mind."
During dinner, I actively paid attention to Olivia and made sure she ate everything on her plate. She hadn't been taking much food on her plate all these days and because I was so mad at her I hadn't even bother to spare a glance at her.
But now everything would change. I would make sure to heal our broken friendship and help her get through this tough time.
She wanted going to protest against me but as my parents were right in front of her she had no choice but to eat everything. That was the first time in a while that she had eaten healthily.
Usually after dinner, I'd immediately go up to my room or have a small talk with my parents but now things would be different.
I spent a good hour in Olivia's room, annoying her. She clearly didn't want me there but I was adamant.
"I'm sorry, Olivia. Because of me I hurt you and Tristan and caused the abortion." I had only apologized because I wanted her to feel better. I didn't mean it and so I felt slightly guilty because of it. But really, it wasn't my fault.
"What?" Olivia was not expecting that.
"I realized my mistake. Please forgive me." I felt terrible lying to her like that but maybe when she was out of her trauma of losing her child, I'd tell her. I'd tell her that I lied to her to make her feel at ease and hoped that she'd forgive me then.
"What changed? You were so hell bent on not accepting your fault."
I shrugged. "I saw things from your perspective. So am I forgiven?"
"Maybe." She said quietly.
"Don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you. You'll forgive me soon."
"You sound confident."
"Come on, you've never stayed mad at me for long. Except this time. This was the first time we went on without talking for months. It was hard. I missed you."
She sniffled. "I missed you too."
And just like that we were back to normal. Well, as normal as we could get with each other after what happened. I knew it'd take some time but I was willing to wait for us to go back to the way we were before.
I was so scared that our friendship would be severed and broken beyond repair but it wasn't much damage. If anything I was pretty sure this incident was only going to bring us closer and strengthen our bond.
No matter how much I hated Olivia all these months, I always knew in my subconscious that we'd be alright someday eventually and I was glad thatthat day had arrived.
There were times when I thought she was a toxic friend or that I was toxic for her but it was just the bumps and potholes in our road to friendship that were inevitable to encounter.
It was our choice if we wanted to keep tethered to each other or let go.
And we had always chosen to hold on tight, but not to the point where it would be painful.
Because then that day would signify that our friendship had truly died and I hoped that that day would never become reality.