Chapter 25
We didn’t sleep.
It’s four in the morning, and we’ll have to get up soon because I have a meeting in London at lunchtime.
Madeline is lying with her back to me, the sheets around her waist. Even though she’s breathing softly, I know she’s awake.
“We don’t have to put an end to what we have,” I say. The words come out harsh through my throat. I’ve never had to ask a woman for more time before.
She takes a while before turning to face me. When she does, she covers her breasts with the sheets. It’s a small gesture, but it makes it clear that I no longer have unrestricted access to her as I did a few hours ago. “What are you talking about?”
I don’t respond at first, trying to analyze her expression. To see if she’s playing with me. Pretending to be difficult.
And if it is a game, what does she know about the rules? If everything she told me is true, she’s not just young, she’s also inexperienced.
“You know what I’m talking about, Madeline. The sex between us is explosive. There’s no reason to put an end to it.”
“Are you willing to forget the one-month deadline?”
“If you’re pregnant, that deadline won’t make any difference,” I say, evading the question.
I know I’ve said the wrong words just one-tenth of a second after they’ve left my mouth.
She sits up quickly, and in an instant, her feet are out of bed.
“Which means you’re sticking to the one-month deadline, but if I’m pregnant, you’ll surrender to the inevitable,” she says standing up.
“Thanks, but no. If you don’t think we’re worth at least a try at a normal relationship, without this thirty-day contract rule, I’d rather we stop here. ”
“Stubborn . . .” I say, trying to keep indifference in my tone, even though a little voice inside me warns me to back off because I’ve hurt her.
She was already at the bathroom door, but she turns to face me.
“No. It’s self-love. For a long time, I thought I needed to be a good girl to deserve my family’s love.
In the process, I forgot to love myself.
I’m finally working on that, Kamal. I won’t let the pleasure you give me make me lose respect for myself. ”
Germany
I hear the discussion at the board meeting of my main company in Berlin. For the first time, I can’t concentrate.
“I think that’s it, then,” one of the board members says, and I nod my head, having no idea what I’m agreeing to.
“What’s wrong?” Adil asks beside me, after everyone stands up. “You weren’t paying attention to a word they were saying.”
As much as I consider him a friend, I don’t want to share Madeline with anyone.
“Have you found out anything about Hiba?” I ask, shifting the focus from the present to the past, referring to my deceased ex-fiancée.
“No. It’s awful that we’re still in the dark.”
“You said we have the best investigators at our disposal,” I say, irritated.
“And it’s true, but maybe the person we’re looking for knows how to erase their tracks very well.”
“What do you mean by that?”
“It could be someone close.”
“Yes, I know. I’ve thought about that. Not many people had access to her.”
“No, very few,” he says.
I’m alert because a doubt has been lingering in my mind since the tragedy occurred. It’s not the first time I’ve thought about the possibility, but I’ve always refused to entertain it because if it’s true, my family will be destroyed.
“I don’t like games, Adil.”
“I’m not playing, Kamal, just being cautious. For now, it’s only a hunch, and I won’t say what I’m thinking carelessly without knowing if I’m being fair.”
I know he’s trying to protect me and Sintarah’s future, but the mere possibility that we might both be right makes a bitter hatred rise within me. “Hire more men. I want answers, Adil. No matter who’s behind what happened, I won’t stop until I find out and punish the culprit.”
“You know you can count on me, Kamal.”
I nod in agreement because I’ve never doubted his loyalty. “I’ve been waiting for over five years already. You have just one more month to solve this. If you don’t get results, I’ll ask Christos to find someone else to lead the investigation.”
“Why the rush now?”
I think about how to answer that without exposing Madeline. “Changes in my personal life may be coming soon. If that happens, I want the past to be left behind.”
“Are you finally starting over? Looking for a wife?”
“Nothing’s decided yet, but at some point, I’ll have to consider it. Sooner rather than later.”
“Alright, Kamal. Besides the fact that I believe what happened shouldn’t determine your future—”
I interrupt him with a hand gesture. “I appreciate your opinion, but spare me the self-help lecture. Whatever happens in the future has nothing to do with romance but with what’s best for Sintarah.”
He nods again, then leaves the room.
I look at my phone on the table and touch the screen, thinking about calling Madeline with some lame excuse to assign her a task. However, the date on the display catches my attention.
She told me that Zoe advised her to wait fifteen days to confirm whether she’s pregnant. Today is the fifteenth day.
It’s time to go home and find out if I have a child on the way.
If that’s the case, maybe I can put an end to this inner turmoil without having to promise anything beyond security through marriage.