Chapter 41
I watch from afar as Irfan and Zarif arrive at the palace.
I have had a smile plastered on my face for so long that I fear my muscles will never go back to normal.
Today is the first time I have set foot here since we got back from the oasis; I feel confused and out of place.
Kamal keeps his eyes on me like a hawk watching its prey. I’ve barely spoken to him since I came down the stairs to the main hall to greet his relatives.
I talked to Amapola for a while, and she seemed to want to ask me the reason for my change in demeanor, because if there’s one thing I’ve learned about my future mother-in-law, it’s that she is extremely perceptive.
However, she apparently gave up on getting me to open up, and we only talked about trivial matters related to the engagement party.
Zoe called me today saying she won’t be able to come because Christos has an urgent appointment and he asked her not to travel alone because of her pregnancy. As a result, I’ll only have his family as a witness when we seal our engagement.
Not that I’m scared. Little by little, I’m getting comfortable with Kamal’s relatives. They welcomed me with open arms, and I have only Amapola to thank, who left no one wondering whether I would be welcome as her daughter-in-law.
“You don’t look very happy for a bride,” I hear Zarif saying behind me.
I startle because I hadn’t realized he’d approached. “Welcome to Sintarah, Your Highness,” I reply formally. I have a suspicion he’s come to speak to me alone to irritate his brother.
He smiles wryly. “Your Highness?”
“If you’re going to play this game with me, when I asked you in no uncertain terms not to use me in your war against Kamal, I’ll treat you like a stranger.”
His smile grows. “You’re a good actress, Madeline. When I first saw you in my brother’s office, you looked like a scared little bunny. Now you are showing your claws, and I don’t know which of your two sides I prefer.”
“Don’t pick one if you want to keep your heart beating,” Kamal’s voice thunders behind us.
I’m not one for encouraging this kind of territorial behavior, but Zarif could test a saint’s patience if given the chance.
I clasp my fiancé’s hand to prevent a scandal. I don’t even know what the protocol is for this kind of situation—how I’m supposed to play it in public—but since it’s just the family and Adil, I decide to take a chance.
“Can you come with me for a second?” I ask.
“Why?” my Sheikh retorts, like he is ready to fight.
“I want a moment alone with you before dinner starts.”
He stares at me, and I can see he doesn’t believe me.
“Please,” I insist. It seems to work, and he finally makes up his mind.
Looking one last time at his brother, he pulls me by the waist, and we leave.
We walk in silence through the halls of the palace, but I know we’re heading to his office. I have no idea what I’m going to say when we get there, but anything is better than allowing the brothers to fight in front of my mother-in-law.
He opens the door and lets me through. Then he leans on the door frame.
“Your brother just wanted to provoke you. I don’t think he has any interest in me.”
He doesn’t say anything, just keeps staring at me intensely.
I can’t stop my body from shaking with longing, but I hold on tight. I’m not going to give in so easily to my seven-foot-tall personal temptation.
However, he notices and comes closer.
I take a step back. “No.”
“No what?” he asks, his face close to mine.
“We can’t solve everything with sex.”
“It’s the only time we agree. It’s when our differences vanish. You said it yourself.”
I fight an internal battle between pride and love.
The second wins easily.
I know what he’s doing. Kamal is jealous of his brother, and he’s trying to revert us to a physical relationship. But even if I still don’t quite understand how he feels about me, I know he’s not just horny.
He took me to the oasis. He asked them to prepare the tent with scented candles and the foods I like. There must be more between us than physical attraction.
Finally, I decide to come clean. “It’s not just sex,” I say.
“No?” Sarcasm drips from his lips.
“If that’s the only thing I am to you, the woman who carries your child, the one you have around to satisfy your desires when you need it, then I’ll be no different from any other you’ve ever had. No matter what title you give me, I will continue to be a lover.”
His lack of response hurts me more than I thought possible.
“Let me go. It was a mistake to come here with you. I will no longer meddle in your affairs with Zarif.”
He doesn’t move. “You’re not just my lover. You’ll be the mother of my child, and my princess.”
“Yes, I’m aware of the position I will occupy.” Now I’m the one who’s pissed off. “Let me leave,” I beg again.
He steps away from the door, and I slip past him, placing my hand on the knob.
“You’ll be my world.”
I freeze in place, wondering if my mind is playing tricks. If I even heard that.
Slowly, I turn to face him, but I can’t speak, although I’m sure he can see the questions on my face.
“You’re already my world,” he repeats and comes closer. “Come back to our room. To my bed, my life,” he says, holding my face.
“I didn’t leave for good.”
“You’ve been gone for longer than I can bear. Your place is by my side.”
“You said at the oasis that you only cared about our child.”
“That’s not true. I care about everything that concerns you. If you haven’t figured it out by now, I’m a control freak, Madeline. Subtlety is not one of my strong points, and I cannot apologize for the way I am.”
“I didn’t ask for an apology, but you have to understand that I’m no longer going to be receiving orders.
I didn’t leave my parents to become a submissive wife, Kamal.
Don’t suffocate me. I can’t bear it. I’m turning my whole life upside down because I love you.
You have to do your part too, or we’ll never be a real couple. ”
“I don’t want a submissive wife.”
“That’s not what it looks like.”
He runs both hands over his face. “I didn’t plan for us.”
“I didn’t plan on becoming a mother so young either. Still, I want you and our child.”
Something changes in his expression when he hears me say that. He surprises me by picking me up and pressing me against the door. “Say that again.” There’s nothing stoic about his face. I see a mixture of desire and need.
Seeing my man, my Sheikh, lowering his walls makes me surrender once and for all. “I love you. I don’t want to leave. Don’t push me away or lock me in a dome like a bird you visit when it suits you. You said you’ll make me your princess. Let that title be true. Make it real.”
He doesn’t reply, but he kisses me for so long that I get a little dizzy.
When he pulls back to look at me, he says, “Teach me how to compromise. I don’t want to lose you.”