CHAPTER TWELVE
I grimaced at Gunnar. “What do you mean? I don’t hate Rocco.”
The door opened, and his expression blanked. He leaned back in his seat as Rocco climbed inside. He didn’t say a word as he put on his seatbelt, but my attention remained concentrated, staring at the way his chest expanded as he breathed. I grew warm, thinking about the feel of his muscles underneath, the heat of his skin under my hands.
Rocco didn’t say a word, but adjusted his long legs to fit comfortably across from him. He was a large man, but his confidence was greater. I wasn’t small, but he made me feel delicate next to him. I inhaled, and his spicy scent filled me, tantalizing my senses as much as seeing him in the flesh. Everything about him aroused a sexual energy within me that heated my blood with lust. I let out a shaky breath.
The car started to move, but we all remained silent. There was too much to talk about, and we weren’t alone.
“Uhm…hello, Rocco,” I finally whispered.
Rocco didn’t respond. He pushed back his hair, his jaw tensing in a way I’d only seen when he was upset or when he fucked me. His eyes finally met mine and bore in, and they were filled with pain. I knew I was part of what caused that, and it hit me square in the chest. I winced, and turned my head, shrinking in my seat.
Gunnar let out a cough, and I glanced at him. He appeared absorbed in his iPad, but there was a ghost of a smile on his lips. He was right. From what I knew about Rocco, he wasn’t a man who held back his anger. We were inside a bomb, and Rocco was about to go off.
I shifted nervously on the seat.
“Fuck. Tell me why, Adelina. Why did you do it?” he asked, his voice sharp with accusation.
I fidgeted with my hands. “I don’t…I don’t know what you mean.”
“You told me to leave you with Percy Sterling. You hung up on me, and didn’t answer when I called back. Then out of the blue, Constance calls to tell me you’re in a new arranged marriage.” His disappointment emphasized every word, and the skin on my face burned in shame.
“I didn’t know she called and honestly what kind of control over my life do you think I have? You knew my family would never agree to months or were you too busy cozying to Marjorie Storm? You never mentioned that.”
I crossed my arms.
“Marjorie again?” he said irritably and huffed. “She doesn’t call; she shows up with the press. It meant nothing to me, and I handled it. But you’re not innocent here. You talked to me on the phone before last night, and didn’t tell me what was going on—”
“I gave you an out—”
“Fuck that. You gave up and gave in easy,” he spat in disgust. “You threw me away—”
I snorted. “I didn’t throw you away, I had no choice. You have no idea how hard life can be when you were born with everything—”
“What’s hard?” he hissed. “ I’m your fiancé, but asking for help was too hard? Or was showing me you wanted me too much to ask?”
I lowered my head and flicked my gaze at Gunnar. “We’re not alone and don’t have time for this argument.”
The car slowed. My head turned to the window. We were at Luca’s house.
“We’re taking the helicopter,” Rocco confirmed when I looked at him questioningly. “And we’re not done talking. Tell me what Percy offered you?” He demanded in an abrupt tone.
I hunched my shoulders and swallowed. “Percy offered an endowment for Jacob’s care.”
“I already had that in your original contract,” Rocco said, his tone curt.
My jaw dropped. My grandparents hadn’t mentioned it to me. They hid things until they found them helpful to get their way. “I-I didn’t know.”
“When in the weeks we spent together in and out of bed have I ever given you the impression I’d not take care of you, your brother, or anyone else you care about?”
I cringed. Taking care of me sounded so old-fashioned, and downright possessive. But he was right. It was just what I detested about Percy. He had all the money. However, I couldn’t afford to pay for Jacob’s care, and in a way, I resented that Rocco could so easily. “I don’t want to beg you.”
“You haven’t begged yet, but you will,” he said, his tone deepened as he flexed his dominance.
I shifted my legs to hide the deep clench in my sex; his words aroused me. I glimpsed Gunnar, who hadn’t left us in the car. What was he waiting for?
“Do you want Percy?” he hissed.
I glared over at him. “You know I don’t.”
“Did he touch you?”
“Come on, Rocco, be serious. He didn’t,” I snapped and squeezed my eyes shut fearing he’d see I wasn’t completely honest. He kissed me, but it’ll only make him more upset. “You know I don’t want him.”
“No, I don’t,” he said coarsely. “You’re going to have to do better than that.”
“I was…I was…afraid. I’m sorry, Rocco,” I whispered.
“I know you are, but for what, Adelina? What makes you sorry?” His tone had softened, and he leaned closer, making my heartbeat faster. He pushed me, trying to make me admit how I felt about him.
“I-I gave you an out,” I whispered.
“So you think that makes it right?” he said and snorted. “Damn it, you’re cold.”
My skin flushed, and I pressed my hand as anguish rose, making me struggle to control my emotions, rushing my pulse and aching my chest. After everything we shared and had been through, I couldn’t believe Rocco thought me cold when I gave him more of myself than I ever did anyone. But with Gunnar there and no privacy, I could only bring myself to ask. “You find me cold. After we’ve been…together?”
His jaw ticked. “We fuck, Adelina, and that’s not what I’m angry about.”
My brows knitted, and my chest hurt. “Then what is it?” I licked my lips and bit the bottom, my legs jittered on the seat.
“I want more than your affection, Bella. I need to hear how you feel.” He hit the center of his chest. “I care for you, but I don’t know if you’ll ever feel the same about me.” His voice lost steam, and he sighed long.
I tensed, blinking rapidly.
“We go in circles, and I wonder if I’ll ever reach you.” He sounded defeated, and more fear rose. Would he give up on me? But on the other hand, is Rocco being fully honest with me?
“If you feel that way, why marry me?” I said, my voice nasal.
“I don’t go back on my word, Adelina.”
I shook my head, and my eyes stung. His answer held no sentiment. “You only married me because you still need me. It’s not because….” You care . “If you had walked away, you could’ve had what you wanted.”
“But not you?” he said sharply. “Did you even consider I would choose you? Damn it. I feel like I’m up against a wall here. You have me so angry and so eager to fuck you; that’s the only time I can reach you to feel you want me. Because I’ve grown to care about you, Adelina. Can’t you feel it? Can’t you feel me?” His voice broke with raw emotion, and his head fell back. He tunneled his hands through his thick hair, closing his eyes in frustration. When they opened again, there was pain deeper still, pools of uncertainty, something I’d never thought I’d get from him. Had I become a vulnerability?
I hurt Rocco deeply, but to give a piece of my heart to him wasn’t something I could so easily do. However, it was now or never. I was in danger of losing him. He found out what happened and came, even with all he had on his plate. Knowing how much his family meant to him, he dropped everything, including the funeral, to bring a judge to Westchester so that he could marry me. He deserved more, but he asked for so much, demanding my trust, my surrender, and all of my heart.
I swallowed against the lump in my throat. My mind swirling with warnings of danger if I gave in, my heart hammering in fear that he’d let me go. But instead of shutting him out, I started speaking.
“When…I thought I’d never see you again; it felt like something ripped inside me. Mr. Belfiore told me that you’d accepted his demands to break off the contract, that you didn’t want me, and I felt so broken in that moment. Just a pawn in everyone else’s game. I’ve learned to be cautious with my heart, Rocco. I’ve never allowed myself to truly want something because it’s always taken away from me when I do. Please believe me when I say that my actions weren’t just for me; I believed you wanted something else, and it was because I care about you, Rocco, so much that it’s overwhelming…these feelings. You are the first person in a tiny circle I let in, but please know that even when I can’t say it, I care…Rocco, baby. I want you,” I sobbed, burying my face in my trembling hands. I feel like I just gave him all the power, and could only hope he’d forgive me for what I could control.
Will he leave me an emotional mess? Will he stay angry?
But then I felt his hands running up my spine. “Mia bella,” he whispered.
The sound of the car door opening and closing let me know Gunnar had finally climbed out.
Rocco unfastened his seatbelt. His hand reached under my chin and lifted. My head raised, and he placed his fingers on my throat, his branding on my skin. It was possessive but brought on a comforting familiarity.
“There you are,” he whispered. I could feel his breath soft and fast on my lips as he drew closer to me. My chest heaved, and I flicked my gaze to his mouth, so full, so sensual.
“You came for me.”
“I did, Bella. You’ll learn you’re mine,” he said confidently, then brought his lips to my mouth and slid his tongue over the seam. I shivered and pressed back for more. He let out a groan, gripping the back of my head and pressing his lips harder. My lips parted, and he pushed his tongue in, sliding it against mine. The smooth caresses of his hot tongue heated me, and I moaned into his mouth. We parted to breathe, and our breaths were heavy, but we were just as eager for more; our mouths collided again, our tongues stroking. His kiss was a sin; it took my breath and strength. Once he started, it wasn’t enough.
“Mmm,” I moaned. Don’t you know, Rocco? You’re all I want…I want you.
Rocco’s hand cupped my breasts, his tongue stroking mine, just as his fingers stroked my nipples hard, then tugged on them, sending a shock of sensation to my clit.
I shuddered and writhed, arching into his touch for more.
We broke to breathe, and I was euphoric and burning all over. “Ohh…oh, yes. Rocco, I’ve missed you so much. I thought I’d lost you.”
He took my hand, placed it on the front of his trousers, and squeezed. “Feel how much I want you,” he commanded.
I rubbed my hand up and down his cock that thickened in my hand. “You’re gonna suck it for me so good later and squeeze that tight pussy on it.” I moaned and squirmed, trying to get friction to soothe the growing ache. My hand rubbed his erection harder, moving down to squeeze his balls.
He groaned loud, then moved my hand and grabbed my inner thigh. “You’re so naughty, Bella. You know I can’t fuck you here, but you’re putting me on edge. You’ll pay for that later.”
I quivered and let out a staggered breath. “I’m…I’m sorry—”
“You’re not sorry,” he said in a deep tone.
“I am,” I whispered and swallowed. I meant it more than the moment.
“I know you are now, Adelina. Give me your pussy, make it up to me.”
I moaned and clenched between my thighs and he felt it in his grip.
“Mmm.” His hand moved underneath my dress, and I felt it slide up my garter to the top. I was drowning in want. I pulled my lips back, my gaze shot up to Rocco. His eyes were almost black. They dilated—his face stern, all the sculptured curves defined and prominent. “Show me how much you want me; make me feel you come,” he demanded, his voice deep and rough. His hand gripped my knee. “Open your thighs wide.”
My inner walls clenched, and adrenaline spiked in my veins. I shut my eyes as goosebumps broke across my body, and the air whooshed out of my lungs. But he waited for me, and I slowly moved my legs apart.
Rocco gently moved my thigh wider. Oh my God . I was burning hot and oh so needy. Rocco’s fingers went around my thong, circling my clit, and I felt so wet.
“Fuck, you’re soaking for me. Your pussy knows it’s mine and only mine. It only comes for me,” his tone held anger as he expertly stroked inside me, hitting the spots he knew would make me explode. “Say it, Bella.”
I whimpered and moaned. “Only, only you, Rocco.”
We both looked down at his hands, our breaths shallow. It was so intense seeing his thick fingers teasing my slick folds. He had me on the verge of coming, and he had barely touched me. But I could hear our breaths and the sound of the slick strokes as he fingered me. He pushed two fingers in, and I bucked up, and we moaned loudly. “Oh, my God.”
“That’s right, Bella,” Rocco whispered. “Let go.”
I moved my hips against his hand, my breaths short between my moans. “That’s right. Fuck my fingers. Show me how much you want me,” he demanded between clenched teeth. Rocco’s mouth was on my neck, and he sucked. He curved his fingers and rubbed my clit with his thumb. It felt so good that I moaned freely, without a care. My hips moved as I fucked his fingers, and I could feel the edge, but I was too needy; I didn’t want to stop. I tried to keep his hands on me. His fingers moved faster, hitting the spot that sent me over, and I cried out. My orgasm was so intense it was almost painful; I jerked and shook as I gripped his hand.
“That’s it, Bella.” He held on to me, rubbing me until I was throbbing and swollen. Then he removed his hand and pulled my dress down. I slumped and let my head fall on the seat. It was as if I had run a marathon. I was rung out, exhausted. He had his phone in hand but said to me. “Take off your thong.”
I was dizzy, unfocused, too hot, and filled with shame at how willing I am to do whatever he wanted. It was ecstasy; it was madness. What’s Rocco doing to me ? Still, I shyly removed it, and he disposed of it, leaving me to board the helicopter without anything on. It was scandalous, but I liked that he did that to me. I liked the humiliation in the powerplay. He demanded my body and my heart and dominated me into submission. My body trembled with pleasure, but my mind warned me of the danger of giving him too much of myself. But he dropped everything, including a funeral, to marry me.
The unexpected twist of fate led me into his chaotic life, a life I would now live in full. Rocco didn’t just marry me; he forced me to confront my feelings for him and my desires. He broke down more walls, and everyone he broke drew me closer to him. He also showed me he was going to fight for my heart, and I could already feel he would have it. Yet there was still a warning from Gunnar nagging my mind. “ You married him at the funeral of his beloved grandfather without his family?
Woah. That alone would have me heading for the hills. But it will get much harder.”
His warning was the same as Grandmother’s. I can only hope I’m strong enough, and not alone going forward.