CHAPTER TWENTY
“A delina….”
Did someone call my name?
The voice…it’s far away….
“Sing the song for Jacob, Lina,” Mama says to me as she rocks Jacob on a chair in the bedroom. Her magical rocking heals him when we color and sing the song.
I croon, “Little Bird, Little Bird (Fly Through My Window),” cutting the shape of the Chickadee birdie I colored for him.
I hold it above my head and skip-fly it over to Jacob.
His puffy face is whiter than his wet T-shirt, and he’s still pouring water down his face and arms, dripping on the floor.
“Jacob?”
His eyes don’t move. They are like clouds.
I poke out my lip and drop the paper. “Mama, Jacob needs a doctor.”
“Shhh. quiet,” Mama whispers.
“No, he needs to go-o-o,” I shout and stomp my feet.
“Shut up, Lina,” she whispers loudly, pushing back the hair covering her face.
It’s purple, pink, and puffy.
“Mama hurts,” I cry.
“Shhh, please, Lina.”
Creak. Creak. Creak.
His shoes are at the door!
“Didn’t I tell you to keep those brats quiet?”
I run to the door and push my palms on the back.
“No, Daddy. You can’t come in here,” I scream.
Bang.
The door pushes, and I fall on my back.
“Ow,” I wail.
“Cover yourself, Lina,” Mama yells.
I sit up and tug on the end of my daisy dress.
He’s coming….
Thud.
My head hits the floor as his foot presses down on my chest….
“Adelina…Adelina, wake up.”
“Uhm….” I managed to reply, but my tongue felt thick. I sucked in air through my nostrils to steady my pulse and ease the pain in my head. My vision cleared to pinched brows and a hollow stare from Rocco. He was close, calling my name and shaking my arms.No, he wasn’t shaking them; he was pulling them off of me and holding them away from my body. The pain in my chest finally registered. My pulse jumped, and my stomach muscles twisted. What had I done? What did he see?
“What was that?” Rocco asked, his voice elevated with alarm.
“I-I’m sorry I frightened you—”
“I’m not scared, I’m worried, Bella. Was that a…dream?” His fear was tangible, and my stomach nauseated. It had been why the boarding school gave me a room alone, and I rarely slept in the same room with Cassidy. These past memories were not to be shared or seen.
I glimpsed Rocco and swallowed hard. He was quiet and patient, but I could feel his need for an explanation. I had to give him something.
“Sometimes I dream about life with my parents before I left.”
“You…your voice. It sounded like a child.”
I winced. “Yeah, well…it doesn’t happen all the time…but when I see Jacob, and I’m stressed, they come. My therapist said to let them go and trust that I’m safe. So please, can we let them go?”
“You were terrified.” He lowered his head, chewing on his lip.
I clasped his hand. “We survived, Rocco. We’re all okay now. My dreams are my guilt. I should’ve done more for Jacob.”
Rocco reached over and wrapped his arms around me. “You were only a child. It was your parents’ responsibility to care for you.”
My cheeks warmed, and I stiffened. “I’m sorry.”
“You should never be sorry, Adelina, I…I never want you to feel afraid or hurt again.” He kissed the top of my head and cuddled me. Rocco couldn’t promise that, but it warmed me that he wanted to protect me. We had reached a new place last night. We didn’t just go straight to sex; we talked through our problems as a couple. I felt closer to being brought into his confidence, and in turn, my guard dropped. Perhaps he wasn’t the only one building a trust. His holding me was what I longed for most in my past.
We would reach Yarwood Springs Center and visit my brother Jacob soon.We’d left early in the morning for Poughkeepsie, NY, where he lived. The anticipation of seeing him again filled me with a mixture of happiness and anxiety. I felt vulnerable and wanted Jacob and Rocco to like each other more than anything.
The car slowed, and my head turned to look out the window. The tree-lined road opened to the Yarwood Springs grounds and brought a lift to my spirit. A fountain sign with flowers and shrubbery was at the entrance. It had gardeners weeding and barking the trees that lined the main road. Some people were outside, strolling around the grounds alone, while others walked in small groups. It was one of the things I loved about the place. It wasn’t just a treatment center; it was a community with long-term residents.
Zane stopped the Mercedes at the main entrance, and Rocco and I climbed out. He opened the trunk of the car and brought out the art supplies I stopped to get for Jacob as a present from us. I also dressed casually, jeans and a scoop shirt, just in case we decided to paint together.
Rocco adjusted his suit jacket, shirt, and cufflinks. He was handsome and stylish as always, but today, he appeared…nervous.
“Are you okay?” I asked him, grinning.
“Yes,” he said, clearing his throat. “I’m more worried about you, Bella.”
I raised my brows. “Why are you worried?”
He hesitated. “Because I want us all to get along. And I want to make you happy.”
I hugged his side and smiled. “You’re so thoughtful. Don’t worry. You do.” Every day I’m with you.
He placed his arm around my waist, and we walked through the glass doors and over to the main desk for check-in. It was more of a medical station, with computers and staff in flowery-patterned hospital gowns and some with white jackets.
The woman at the front asked us, “May I help you?”
“We’ve come to see Jacob Belfiore,” I said, beaming at her. “I’m his sister, Adelina—”
“Marini,” Rocco added, hugging my side.
The woman asked for our IDs, which we handed to her. Then, she checked for our names on the approved visitor’s list.
She smiled and as she tapped on her computer. “Yes, you’re scheduled to see Jacob. However, you’ve come to the wrong building.”
“We’re in the wrong building?” I repeated, raising my brows. My stomach flipped over.“What’s going on? Is he okay?” My voice changed to panic.
“He’s fine. He’s been moved into the assisted living home.”
My jaw dropped open. “But how?”
“Jacob was asked first, and he agreed to try it out,” Rocco said calmly.
“Oh, my goodness, Rocco.” My eyes watered, and I covered my mouth. The assisted living apartments were costly, especially for Jacob, who needed twenty-four-hour care. It was something my grandparents said was too expensive. “I can’t take any more surprises, please.”
“You’ll take a kiss?”
I threw my arms around him and kissed all over his face.
He laughed. “Calm down, wife.”
I squeezed his waist. “No more surprises for the rest of this visit.”
Someone giggling nearby had us turning around. Jacob’s social worker, Cindy, who’d made our regular FaceTime calls, stood nearby chatting with a coworker.
“Cindy?’ I called to her.
Her eyes widened, and she rushed over with her hands out. “Adelina?”
She opened her arms. “I’m so happy to see you. Jacob’s going to be so excited.”
I gave her a hug. We’d communicated for eight years. She was Jacob’s champion, even within the limits of contact at the center.
We broke apart, and Rocco extended his hand, which she took hardily.
“Nice to meet you, Mr. Marini. Follow me.”She gestured with a wave, and we walked behind her back outside to a golf cart parked in a space out front. We climbed in, and she drove us to a newer building across the campus.
“When did Jacob move here?” I asked her.
“A few days ago,” Cindy replied as she parked. “He’s still unpacking.”
We followed her to a first-floor apartment with a modern glass front and a box of flowers outside. On the front door, there was a video screen that she pressed as a doorbell. A few minutes later, a male caretaker with a badge named Pat opened the door.
“Hey Cindy, I wasn’t expecting you. Jacob and I are just getting changed. He had a big day in Poughkeepsie.”
The place was an open-plan apartment with room for his wheelchair to move down the wide corridors. He had a living room with a flat-screen television, game box, comics, and an open kitchen, which Jacob would still need help with, but he had much more privacy and space to make it his home. My heart was bursting with so much joy and thankfulness. Rocco had gone beyond what I’d ever expected with this for Jacob.
The buzz of Jacob’s chair from somewhere in the back became louder, and my pulse picked up. Jacob appeared and stopped close to where we stood. He was in his wheelchair, wearing a printed T-shirt and khakis. His deep blue eyes, just like mine, stared at me. My eyes roamed over the new changes in his appearance since our call in Italy. His hair grew out of the buzz cut and was a little longer on top. Seeing the color in his cheeks made my heart swell . He’s doing better.
Jacob lifted the index finger in his mostly frozen hand and smiled. “Lina.”
I swallowed and rushed over, kissing his face and hands and hugging him in his chair. “I miss you so much.”
“Don’t cry,” he signed when I let go. “All’s good.”
“I’m happy to hear that,” I signed, then took Rocco’s hand.
“This is Rocco Marini, my husband,” I announced.
“Rocks,” Jacob signed teasingly.
“What?” Rocco signed. “I’m not good at signing, but I will learn.”
I gaped at him, my heart full. “You’re learning sign language?”
Rocco nodded and signed, “Yes.”
“Practice,” Jacob signed back. “It’s easy.”
My heart swelled, and it took enormous effort to hold back the tears stinging the back of my eyes. It was incredible that Rocco had kept his promise to meet Jacob after we married—something I hadn’t expected him to remember, not with everything else going on in his life. But he also took time to learn to sign for Jacob, and that touched me deeply.
“Congratulations to you both. Make her happy,” Jacob signed.
I sniffled.
“No crying, crybaby,” Jacob signed, teasing.
I laughed.
“I’m trying every day,” Rocco told him.
“Good,” Jacob signed back. “Now, come see my studio.”
We followed behind his chair down the hall to a smaller room. There, he had his paints framed on a wall, a set-up with easels, a place to sit with music and a TV, and a schedule on the wall for every activity he had. It was the same in a few other rooms he took us through. He had massage therapy, physical therapy, speech therapy, nutrition, weight training, and free time. He was so busy.
“What were you doing in Poughkeepsie?” I asked when we followed him back into the studio.
“Art show,” he signed.
“Art show?” I signed excitedly.
Pat came forward. “Yep. The art director at the Poughkeepsie Museum is interested in making a therapy art show featuring Jacob. It will include a video of Jacob discussing what pictures he created that gave him peace and acceptance. Something to encourage others to use art to heal their souls.”
Jacob had been working for this opportunity for years, and I wondered if Rocco had a hand in it. I turned to look at him directly, but he was focused on Jacob.
“Congratulations,” Rocco said and slowly signed to him. “Can I film us?”
“Go for it,” Jacob signed. Rocco moved around with his phone as Jacob showed us more of his work. I was in absolute awe. He had advanced much further than he had done a year ago. The colors were vivid, the landscapes more defined, and the tones full of life, with hearts and fantastical imagery of clouds.
“These are different,” I signed to him.
“Lola inspired those paintings,” he said.
My brows rose. “Lola?”
“My girlfriend.”
He pointed to a framed photo of a pretty woman seated beside him on a bench outside.
I puzzled. “She doesn’t live here?”
He shook his head and signed. “She’s an art therapist.”
I cocked a brow and signed. “How did you meet?”
“On an outing,” he signed. “Lola loved my work. We talked, and one thing led to another.”
I peered at him. “Did she make the background clearance?”
Jacob rolled his eyes and signed. “Of course. Don’t be a downer about everything like Mama.”
I winced.
“What did you say?” Rocco asked.
“Sorry, she’s beautiful,” I told Jacob before responding to Rocco. “He said I was being negative like my mother about his new girlfriend.”
Rocco nodded in agreement to Jacob, and Jacob held up a clenched fist, which Rocco bumped.
I cringed and signed. ‘Bro-bonding,? Rocco? Come on.”
Jacob laughed, and the sound warmed my heart. We all joined in laughing.
“My favorite show is on, and I’m starving. Do you guys have time to watch it and eat lunch with me?” Jacob asked us.
I glanced at Rocco, and he nodded in agreement.
“Yes, let’s do it,” I said and signed.
Rocco laughed and I signed for him. They chatted throughout the show, with Rocco telling him about creating sets and even promising to give Jacob a tour of his production studio one day.
Rocco and Jacob moved on to playing a video game after the show, which I had no idea he knew how to play. However, he was no match for Jacob, who was an expert, and he won most of their games.
My heart expanded seeing Jacob able to use more of his frozen hand. He also seemed more comfortable and relaxed, adopting a laid-back vibe I admired. One day, I hope to become more like him.
The lights flashed in the room, and Pat walked back in. “We have to go to a medical appointment. Sorry.” Yarwood Springs had a routine and kept all their clients on a schedule.
“So you’re now married. Where are you going on a honeymoon?” Jacob signed.
“Mustique Island,” Rocco answered.
I peered at him skeptically. “I thought we were going to The Maldives?”
Rocco pulled me into a hug. “Only if we can have privacy there.”
Jacob joined in laughing and signed. “You should decide before you go.”
I laughed and went to him, kissing him a dozen times and giving him many hugs. It’s what I always do, so I stored up a bunch until I saw him again.
“I love you, big brother.”
“I love you, Lina,” Jacob said and signed.
I hugged and kissed him again before drawing back.
Then Rocco shook Jacob’s hand, and they smiled at each other. It sent my heart dancing over the moon.
We returned to the car, and Rocco held my hand quietly as we left Yarwood Springs grounds.
“Thank you so much for everything you’ve done for Jacob. I…I always wanted him to have more freedom, and you gave it to him.” My voice caught, and my heart was too full under the weight of emotions of seeing my brother living better than ever.
“It’s what was right,” Rocco said softly. It’s what was right. He felt the same as I did on that one, and I was thankful. I didn’t feel so…alone.
My head lifted to him, and his eyes were on me, a somber expression on his face.
“You all right?” I took his hand in mine.
His eyes lowered to our joined hands, and he sighed long. “I will be after we talk.”