Epilogue
EPILOGUE
brUCE
I sit in a theater I’ve rented, surrounded by family and friends—both mine and Lilly’s. Around us is a crowd of dog parents who are as proud as I am, their fluffy charges on a leash next to their chairs dressed in a custom-made graduation uniform. The dogs, that is. Although some parents are wearing a version of it too.
“Chewbacca Stevenson,” Lilly says from the stage, and I hear my sister chuckle. She and Lilly often try to one up each other when it comes to inventing silly names for dogs, and Star Wars references are staples for both of them.
I hope that dog doesn’t go by Chewie. For those with misophonia like me, that’s the equivalent of calling a dog Pukie. Or Poopie. Or Noodlie.
The lady on my left beams and urges her German Shepherd (who does look like his namesake) to head over to Lilly.
When they get to her, Lilly shakes the woman’s hand and asks Chewbacca to give her a paw, which he (I assume it’s a he) does. Finally, Lilly hands the lady a roll of official papers, while Chewbacca gets one of the edible trophies commissioned for this specific occasion.
We all laugh as Chewbacca devours his hard-won reward.
Lilly calls the next dog, and this time, the swell of pride I feel isn’t for my fur child, but for her. She’s done it. She’s actualized her dream, and here is the first graduating class of her new dog school—Barkshire Pawaway.
When I glance at the faces of Lilly’s parents, I can see them tearing up, and I bet they share the same sentiment. And hey, they have the right to be proud. Lilly accomplished this smoothly and swiftly, mere months after officially moving in with me (not that she stayed at her own place when we were “just dating”).
As Lilly calls the next graduate, she waves her toned arm, which makes me uncomfortable in the crotch area.
Not this again. I will Titan, as she calls him, to calm the fuck down by thinking of government-employed accountants eating soup.
Nope. Down is a difficult command for Titan to master when Lilly is around.
Figures. Colossus and I will get called to the stage any minute, and I’ll be sporting a hard-on.
What’s worse, the dogs might know that I’m aroused. I mean, if Lilly can teach them to soothe a person when stressed, or to indicate they need an insulin shot, this seems pretty easy in comparison.
“Noodle Schwartz,” Lilly says.
Wow. It’s like these owners are trying to make their dogs sound horrible. At least things are cooling down for my cock—especially when I also imagine Hitler drinking a Slurpee.
“This last dog has a special place in my heart,” Lilly says. “As does his owner.”
Everyone around us oohs-and-aahs.
“Colossus Roxford,” Lilly says. “Come here, sweeties.”
As Colossus and I walk onto the stage, there’s deafening clapping and cheering.
Lilly starts with the edible award first, and then as Colossus eats it, she gives me a kiss in front of everyone.
Damn it. No thoughts of noodles or even a Slurpee can tame the beastly erection that results.
When Lilly notices it, she chuckles and whispers, “Exit through the side of the stage. I’ll walk with you and block that with my body. Or as much of it as I can, with Titan being so huge and me so tiny, of course.”
We do as she says, and as soon as we’re out of people’s sight, I steal another kiss, even if it’s counterproductive to my current situation.
Someone clears his throat.
Looking over my shoulder, Lilly chuckles again. “Johnny, can you take Colossus for a walk, please?”
Taking the leash out of my hands, she hands it to my assistant.
When we’re alone, she pulls me into a dressing room and locks the door.
All right. I strip off our clothes and make frantic love to her—with my hand muffling her passionate screams in case anyone is on the other side of the paper-thin walls.
Afterward, Lilly fixes her hair and picks up her bra. “Who knew the graduation ceremony would be such a potent aphrodisiac?”
“Your mere presence does it for me,” I say. “And congrats, again.”
I grab my phone and let my assistant know he can come back with Colossus—and that he should bring codename “Big Surprise” with him at the same time.
By the time we’re dressed, there’s a knock on the door.
“I got you something,” I tell Lilly. “Something, or rather someone , that I think you will like.”
Lilly’s eyebrows—which I’ve secretly named Borat and Super Mario—become animated, like they’re just begging for me to kiss them again.
But I won’t, as that could lead to another sex session, and we have company.
Speaking of… “Come in,” I say.
They do, and Lilly gapes at codename “Big Surprise.” On a gasp, she asks, “Is that another Chihuahua?”
“Correct.” I grin. “I got her from a shelter earlier today. While you thought Colossus and I were having that long walk. And in case you’re worried, the two of them loved each other at first sight.”
I gesture a dismissal at my assistant, and as he leaves, Lilly envelops the tiny puppy in a hug. “Did you name her?”
I shake my head. “Figured you’d like to do the honors.”
She scratches the puppy under her furry chin. “What do you think of Gargantua?”
I look the puppy over again. She has the light-brown smooth coat made famous by Paris Hilton’s companion and Taco Bell commercials. “That name seems derivative of Colossus, but more importantly, Gargantua was the name of a male giant.”
Lilly sticks her tongue out at me. “Spencer is a boy’s name, but if I have a baby girl, that’s what I’ll call her.”
She’s playing with fire there because if given the chance, I’d put a baby girl—or boy—in her in a heartbeat, but she’s not there just yet.
“How about you brainstorm names with Angela later today?” I suggest.
After a rocky start, and to my surprise, these two very different women have become good friends.
Lilly grins. “She’d love that, but I think I have a name. Roach.”
“Ah,” I say. “Perfect.”
“There’s actually something else,” I say. “Pertaining to my sister.”
Lilly turns Borat into a facsimile of a question mark.
“I’ve finally decided what my hobby will be,” I say. “And Angela will help me with it.”
“Ah. You’ve finally realized that giving me orgasms isn’t a real hobby.” Lilly winks at me. “Not that I don’t appreciate it.”
I pull her close but resist kissing her lips for the moment since that would be detrimental to speaking.
“I’m opening a dog rescue,” I say, looking into her eyes. “On the estate.”
Borat and Super Mario shoot up Lilly’s forehead excitedly. “I love that!” she exclaims. “I really, really do.”
“And I love you,” I say and claim her lips in the most passionate kiss of all.