34. Adrian
CHAPTER 34
ADRIAN
As Jane falls asleep in my arms, the enormity of what has just happened hits me like a shot from the triple barrel cannon that DaVinci invented but never built.
I slept with Jane. Devirginized her, to be precise. If this were the time period she likes to read about, the honorable thing for me to do would be to marry her—except that has already happened.
Fuck. It was the best sex of my life. And that’s not a hyperbole—it was genuinely the best. The scorching chemistry that simmered between us all this time was, if anything, an under-promise. The real sex was so much better than anything my mind conjured up during my lonely dates with my fist. And I had to hold back due to her virginity. I can’t even imagine how good it’ll be between us once?—
No. We can’t. We shouldn’t. Her GD, as Jane called it, shouldn’t have happened, but since it has, the only thing I can control is what happens next—which should be nothing. The hearing requires all my focus, and Jane is too delicious of a distraction. Worse yet, a single wrong move on my end could jeopardize the very reason for our fake marriage.
My chest feels peculiarly tight as I gently extricate myself from Jane’s soft, small body, grab a robe, and quietly go out onto the giant balcony.
The fresh air doesn’t help. I still feel an unsettling combination of guilt, regret, and, worst of all, burning desire.
I want more Jane. I want it so badly I can taste it. But I can’t do this to Piper. I can’t risk losing her.
Speaking of Piper… I pull out my phone, and some of the tension drains from my shoulders as I pull up the baby monitor app and see her. She’s sleeping like the baby that she is.
This, right here, is why I must pump the brakes on whatever it is that’s happening between Jane and me.
With a sigh, I open the email from Bob with the documents I need to review for the hearing. A very long hour later, I’m glad life’s circumstances didn’t force me into a career in the justice system, but I’m grateful for those who are willing to do this kind of work.
I also still ache to hold Jane.
I contemplate sneaking out to another room to avoid the temptation, but I decide that wouldn’t be fair to Jane. I don’t want her to feel like this was a one-night stand.
Quietly, I return to bed and stretch out as far away from her as the giant bed allows. All I want is to close the distance between us, but that wouldn’t be wise.
I need to sleep. More importantly, I need to let her sleep.
We’ll discuss everything in the morning.