Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
CALLUM/CASH
Then
Venomous Lips & Monsters In The Hallway
Some lies don’t scream…they crawl under your skin until you mistake them for your own pulse.
“Livianna.” My legs almost give out on me. I can’t give her the one thing she deserves, the truth. “You know I’d never do that.”
“What wouldn’t you do, Callum? Cheat on me or swear on your dad’s grave when you’re lying to my face?” She wipes her cheek with her hand.
Bren releases me. “I’ll vouch for him. Zara isn’t around us. If she shows up, Cash leaves. They don’t spend any time together.”
“It’s true.” Cooper pops a beer bottle open. “He can’t stand the bitch, and after seeing what she did, I can’t say I blame him.”
“You got her fired, Lily. She’s just being evil and trying to get back at you.” I step to her to hold her.
She flinches back. “You were on an antibiotic after Leon’s New Year’s Eve party last year.
You were a mess for two weeks and refused to see me.
When I asked you about it, you said you had an intestinal bug that called for medication to cure it.
Were you telling me the truth or did you sleep with her then? ”
“I was being honest.” I lie again and another part of my soul falls away.
“But we passed out that night.” Livianna's eyes, lined with pain, look at Bren as if she’s searching for answers.
“Livianna, I told you when you asked about it. I went looking for you and Cash around two-thirty or three in the morning.” Bren gestures to me.
“I found you two in Leon’s office passed out in each other’s arms. The only person in the room with you was Leon, and he was chilling out, watching a movie. ”
“I remember seeing Zara with Sebastian around midnight,” Cooper adds. “They were getting drinks in the kitchen. A while later, I saw them leave together.”
“Zara wins if you let this continue.” Hawke struts by us and joins Cooper by getting a beer. “And on another note, I’ve never known Cash to cheat on you.”
Livianna glances around the room. The agony etched in her expression proves to me she isn’t sure she believes any of us.
I advance on her, trying again to touch her and make this right. “Why don’t we have a drink and relax?”
“No.” She stares at me like a deer in headlights. “I want to go back to the hotel. There are too many people here. All who would defend you at any cost. You’re their meal ticket, so why wouldn’t they?”
“Hey! I’m your brother.” Bren’s hands fly into the air and he addresses her. “Blood is thicker than anything. You’d think you’d know that by now considering how many times I’ve had your back.”
She covers her wrists by holding each of her palms over them. “Helping me is one thing. Covering for your bro is another.”
“You’re right, Livianna.” Bren storms by, stopping by the door and glaring at her. “Everyone’s out to get you. We all lie to you because in your fucked-up brain you think you’re not worth shit.”
Her eyes swell with tears. She trembles and lowers her head.
I can’t stand seeing her this way. “Guns, stop. She doesn’t need you confronting her right now.”
“Sure, anything for her.” He spins away, cursing, and marches down the hall.
Hawke and Cooper settle onto a couch and keep their mouths shut. I inch toward her, take her in my arms, and lead her out of the building.
We say nothing to each other on the way back to the hotel. There’s no doubt in my mind she believes Zara on some level. I would if I were in the same position.
I push the door open to our room. “When you’re ready to talk, I’d like to get this cleared up.”
“I want that, too.” She ambles into the room. “How did Zara know you were on an antibiotic?”
I let the door close behind me and stand in the middle of the room. “Everyone at work knew, Lily. I was sick for two weeks. My illness was causing migraines and I was holding up production.”
“That makes sense.” She places her purse on the table and sits in one of the chairs. “She’s not going to stop with this. Every time I come to visit you while you’re on tour, she’s going to do something to aggravate me.”
“I know.” I gesture to the minibar. “Do you want that cocktail now? There are mixers in there.”
“Sure.”
“Vodka soda?”
“Yeah, that’s perfect.”
As I make us a drink, she watches me, but she’s somewhere far from here.
“What are you thinking about?” I take her drink to her and sit in the chair across from her.
“Thanks.” She sips on it and gives herself a moment of silence. “When Zara said I have secrets, she wasn’t making that up. That’s why I believed her about you.”
“What are you trying to tell me, Lily?” My stomach spins and my breathing picks up. “What have you done?”
“I’m eighteen now, Callum. I can make my own decisions and I’m going to.”
“What does that mean?”
“We’re struggling. I’m not blaming you, so don’t think that. But if we don’t get things back on track, we’re not going to make it.”
“I worry about that, too.” I move my glass over and reach for her hand. “What does that have to do with these secrets you have?”
She slides her palm into mine. “I quit the show right before I left to come here. I didn’t even tell my parents I was doing it.”
My eyes bulge. “Whoa, Livianna. They’re gonna be pissed.”
“I know, but you’re going to be on the road for what…another six months?”
“Something like that.”
“I want to be able to come and visit you whenever I want.”
Adrenaline shoots through me. On one hand, that’s all I want, but if she’s here with me, she’s likely to figure out what’s going on with me.
I shift and swallow. “How do you see that playing out?”
“I don’t know. What do you want?”
“Obviously, I want you with me, but there’s no way I can pay for you to travel with us all the time.”
“I don’t want that.” Her cheeks turn red. “I’m starting my own fashion line and I need to focus on getting it off the ground. But I’ll get to make my own schedule.”
A smile grows across my face. “So you’re finally gonna do what you wanna do?”
“Yes. I’m ready.” She presses her lips together with her eyes sparkling brighter than they have since she’s been here.
“So how are you gonna get funding?”
“I have money saved up from the show and I’ll get residuals from both the reruns and the licensing from The Ember line. Callum, I can make this succeed. I know I can.”
“Lily, I have no doubt you will.” I squeeze her hand. “Tell me about your idea. How’s it gonna work?”
“I’m naming it Livianna Grace Designs. I’m thinking it will be an edgy, high-end clothing, lingerie, and accessories line. If that does well, maybe even grow it into perfumes, cosmetics, and handbags.”
“Don’t forget shoes.”
“Of course not! Shoes are a must.” She laughs and continues to go on for the next hour about her dreams.
It reminds me of how I felt when I wanted Mayhem to come together. My chest swells for her and I sit back in awe of her aspirations.
She’s eighteen and going for everything she wants with no safety net. And even bigger than that, she did it without getting her parents’ approval.
She gets up and starts getting ready for bed. “I want to incorporate the white and black lilies into the monogram. I’m not sure how I want it to look, but I know it’s going to evolve into something perfect.”
“It’s gonna be life-changing, Lily.” I pull off my boots and remember my grand gesture. “We should get to bed now because I have a surprise for you. It’s gonna take a while. We’ll need to get up early to make sure I’m back in time for the concert tomorrow night.”
“What’s my surprise?” She disappears into the bathroom and comes out brushing her teeth.
I take my turn getting my toothbrush ready. “I’m not telling you because it’s your birthday present.”
She drops the subject after that. We finish preparing for bed and I make love to her, feeling better than I have in ages.
And the best part about it is I only had one drink and no drugs all night. I forgot how good it is to be sober.
We fall asleep a little before two-thirty in the morning, tangled up in the sheets and curled around each other. This is what heaven is all about.
“Don’t touch me!” I shoot up with sweat dripping off me and shaking. “Stop!”
“Callum, it’s okay.” Livianna sits on her knees. “It’s just me. It’s Livianna. I was just snuggling up to you. I’m sorry if I scared you.”
My wild eyes scan her silhouette. I can’t be sure if it’s really her. I smack the light switch on the wall next to the bed and the room illuminates.
Her face is set in deep lines of concern and apologies. “I’m sorry, but I think you were having a nightmare.”
“Yeah, I was.” My heart pounds hard as I try to catch my breath. “But you being here is helping me calm down.”
“What were you dreaming about?”
Was it a dream or some kind of fucked-up memory?
“I can’t really remember.” Once again, I lie. “Will you let me hold you while we try to go back to sleep?”
“Yes. That’s what I was trying to do in the first place. I was trying to wiggle myself into your arms.”
“Oh, okay.” I get comfortable and she moves into me as the little spoon.
I leave the lamp low, eyes on the door, and my heartbeat finally slows to hers.
“Callum?”
“What?”
“Are you going to turn off the lights?”
My pulse races at the thought. “Is it okay if I don’t?”
“Um-hum.” She takes my arm and tucks it around her waist. “Would you tell me if something was…going on with you?”
“Yes, love. I would.” I kiss her cheek and rest my head back down.
If I could, I’d tell you everything.
Livianna bounces out of bed. “I’m getting in the shower first. I have to wash my hair today, so it’s going to take longer. You text Bren and tell him what we’re doing. If you don’t, he’ll stay mad at me for last night.”
“Already planning on it.” I drag my phone off the nightstand and type Bren a message.
She retreats into the bathroom, the familiar melody of our album filling the space via a small speaker. The sentiment makes me smile.
Me: I’m taking Lily to get a tattoo today. It’s my grand gesture. Do you wanna come with us?