Chapter 25 #2
My breathing picks up. I haven’t thought this through and don’t know what to say. All I know is I have an urge to make everything that’s broken between us better.
He releases my arm and places me so my back’s against the wall. His gaze crawls down the length of me, then returns to mine.
I shift my weight from side to side. “I wanted to apologize for what happened. If I had known you were here, I wouldn’t have come.”
“Here? As in the bar, or do you mean in the bathroom?” He pins me with a confronting stare.
My cheeks heat. “Callum, don’t do this.”
“You’re the one who wanted to stop and talk about my hurt feelings.” He jams his hands into his jeans pockets. “You wanna say you’re sorry, and that’s on the top of my list for the night. We can hit the subject of the restraining order after we cover you and your guy.”
“He’s not my guy.”
“Is that what you used to tell people when we were together?”
“No! You were my boyfriend. He’s not.”
“Does he know that?”
“It doesn’t matter.”
“But it does.”
“Why”
“You’re fucking him, aren’t you?”
My stomach spins into a ball of stabbing knives that slice away at my insides. “Is that really what you want to talk about?”
“He’s lucky I didn’t kill him, but I’d rather not go back to jail.” Callum studies me for a second. “How many, Lily?”
With a sudden jerk, I pull back. “What?”
“Is he the only one?”
“Is Zara the only one?”
“Yes, and that only happened because I thought she was you.” He steps forward, backing me up against the wall. He places his palms on both sides of my face, caging me in. His blue eyes burn into mine. “I was out of my mind, high on drugs, and she was wearing your perfume.”
“And that makes it okay?”
“No. None of this is okay. It’s all wrong.”
“Then why did you tear us apart? Why, Callum? Help me understand.”
“Fucking hell. That’s the problem, Lily. You never could and never will.”
We stare at each other with our hearts entangled in a confusing web, but the love flowing between us is so real and undeniable I’m sure anyone walking by can feel it.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.” He inches forward. “Fuck it. I love you and want you back.”
His mouth crashes to mine and his tongue slips through my lips. I sink into our kiss for a second, then I push him away.
“Callum, I can’t do this.”
“Because of your guy?” He gestures to the bathroom with a wave of his hand and his face grows pained. “For the record, I haven’t been with anyone since you. I’ve fucking waited and until tonight, I wasn’t even considering giving up on us.”
“Don’t put this on me. You just told me you were with Zara. I haven’t been with you since her, so you can’t say things like that and expect me to believe it.”
He growls and turns his head. My stomach tightens and reality smacks me in the face.
I’m wasting my time. I try to brush past him, but he wraps his arm around me.
He brings my back flush against his chest and whispers in my ear, “Don’t leave me. I don’t wanna be apart any longer. We belong together. Lily, I love you and miss you more than anything.”
I whimper and face him. “And what about everything else? How do we move on from all that?”
“As much as it tears me in half to know you’ve been with someone else, I’ll never bring it up. Just give us another chance. I can forgive you.”
“You can forgive me for what?”
“You just had sex with another guy in the bathroom where we’ve done it plenty of times. It’s like you’re trying to erase what we shared by doing that with someone else in all the places we have. What do you think I’m talking about?”
“We aren’t together, Callum. I can do whatever I want and there’s nothing wrong with it. You, on the other hand, cheated on me.”
“I thought she was you.”
“That’s supposed to make it better?”
“No.”
I grit my teeth. “Let’s say we get back together. Are you going to stop going off the grid sometimes where I can’t get a hold of you for a day or two because you won’t text me back or answer my calls?”
He purses his lips as his gaze scrolls over my face. Something strange flashes through his eyes and he squares his shoulders.
“You’re right, Lily.”
“About what?”
“I can’t give you what you want or need. We can’t be together.”
My mouth falls open and I huff out my disbelief. “What did you just remember, Callum? What made you change your mind?”
“You’ll wanna come out on tour with us.”
“So? What’s wrong with that?”
“I’ll fucking destroy you if we start dating again.”
“How would you do that?”
He points to the other room. “I’ll never forget what you’ve done. It’ll eat me alive. And the worst part about it is, I know you’ve been with more men than him.”
“How?” I cross my arms over my chest. “There’s no way you could know that.”
He forces a laugh and his shoulders roll forward. “You just gave yourself away, love.”
My insides burst into flames. I don’t know what I did that is making him believe that, but if I say anything, I’m bound to trap myself.
There have been more than Casey, but Callum doesn’t need to know. Instead, I turn on my heels and begin to leave.
“Truth hurts, huh, vixen?”
Oh, he wants to take it there? Okay, here we go.
I spin back his way, allowing all the suffering he’s inflicted on me over the past years to surface and take charge. “That’s what you want, the truth?”
“Don’t start lying to me now.”
I could lie but I don’t.
If he wants brutal honesty, I’ll hand it to him sharp-edge first. “The count is lucky number seven.”
His face drains of color and his expression drops. “What? We haven’t been apart for very long. How is that possible? Did you fuck the first guy you saw? When, Lily? When did you start sleeping with other men?”
“I never cheated.” I shrug. “Maybe you should try thinking outside of the box. Since I’ve known you, you’ve been telling me the same thing and I decided you were right.”
“About?”
“You’re the one who told me I needed to have more fun in my life.”
“Meaning?”
“Maybe there were more than two people involved during some of these escapades.” I’m being spiteful and I don’t care. “Come on, Cash. You’ve done it a time or two yourself, so don’t look so shocked.”
His eyes fill with rage, his hands curl into fists, and my instincts scream, Run, Livianna. Run!