Chapter 32 #2
“There’s nothing wrong with it if you go about it ethically.” I take a bite of my pancakes and damn, they’re delicious. My eyes nearly roll back into my head. I swallow and gesture to her plate. “Tell me those aren’t the best things you’ve tasted all month.”
“Well, it’s the first of January, so…” She laughs and shakes her head. “Your mood swings are giving me a headache.”
“I don’t have mood swings.”
“Yes, you do, but I get it.” She returns to cutting into her food. “I might have some things I need to work on, but so do you.”
Her challenging attitude makes me flex. “Knowing my boundaries doesn’t reflect on my emotional balance.”
“Jax, relax. I’m just pointing out that you can be sweet with me one minute, and the next I’m just a project you’re trying to help. It’s okay. I know that’s the way you are.”
“The reason I do that is because…”
She puts the fork into her mouth and I’m magnetized to her actions. Her lips seal around the metal and she slides it out in a seductive manner while keeping her sparkling gaze on mine. Or did she?
Fuck, this is why I go from being kind one minute and into business mode the next. I get caught up in some inappropriate fantasy by thinking she’s close to my age and have to remind myself that’s not the case.
I tense and grumble. “That right there is why I do what I do.”
“And what would that be?”
“I just remembered why I can’t help you with your brand.”
“What is it now?” She puts her palms on the table, her escalating frustration clear. “And if you say one thing about how old I am, I’m going to scream.”
“I wasn’t going to. Why would you think that?”
“Because you have that strange look about you.”
“What?”
“Whenever things are going well between us and you start letting your walls down, I say or do something. Then you get this funny expression that flits across your face right before you say something about me being young.”
I sit back and consider her explanation. If she were my age, would I bounce around my feelings like I do?
I don’t believe I would. She’s not purposely doing anything wrong.
I just find her…smart, confronting, sexy, and off-limits. It fucks with me on a thousand different levels.
I tilt my head and decide to admit it to her. “I’m demanding you be honest with me, so it’s only right if I do the same.”
“Then tell me what this is about.”
“You’re an attractive woman. I forget our age difference and then I remember. That’s why I go from being comfortable with you to feeling like some kind of…awful man. That’s on me to manage, not on you.”
She pulls back and her eyes round. “Are you saying what I think you are?”
“I don’t know. What do you think I’m saying?”
“Jaxon Crowne, do you find me desirable?”
“Yes, okay?” I roll my eyes. “There, I said it. Not that it makes any difference.”
“But it does.” She sits straight, forcing her breasts out.
My pulse spikes and heat spreads in my chest. I did not think this through. I want to kick myself for telling her how I feel.
“No, Livianna, it doesn’t. Nothing can or will ever happen between us.”
“Because of our age difference?”
“That too, but there’s more than that.”
“Then what? What else is stopping you from asking me out?”
“I’m moving to Paris. My company has a division there and I’m going to work from my European location for a while.”
“I know. My dad told me. How long are you talking about?”
“I don’t know. I don’t have a definitive plan.”
“When are you going?”
“I’m leaving from here.”
“Wow, that’s soon.” Her shoulders round as if she’s defeated. “I don’t know why, but it hurts that you didn’t tell me before now.”
My heart constricts. “I’m sorry. I didn’t realize it would make a difference to you.”
“You just told me something I’ve wanted to hear for over a year. How can you not see that’s information I’d want to know? Why didn’t you think to say something about your move to me last night?”
“Livianna, we barely speak. We’ve only seen each other on limited occasions.”
“But I’ve tried to reach out to you. I even made a pass at you on the beach and you pushed me away.”
“You were high as a kite.”
She puffs out a resolved breath. “All the better since this is where it ends.”
With that, we sit in an awkward silence. She breaks our confused stare and continues eating her meal. Hesitantly, I do the same.
She puts on an iron mask, shielding her authentic emotions. “I appreciate what you told me about fate last night.”
I flinch at the sudden switch of topics. “You remember that?”
“Yes, Jaxon. I was buzzed, but I wasn’t blackout drunk.”
“Fate’s easier to meet when you’re clear-headed.”
“Understood.”
I want to confront her on mixing alcohol with drugs, but I focus on ending our interaction on a positive note. “You said you hadn’t really thought about having a destiny.”
“I haven’t, but I will now. It’s comforting to believe in fate. Where can I learn more about it?”
“There are a ton of books on the subject. Just go to a bookstore and I’m sure they have an entire section.”
She raises her eyebrows and nods. We discuss the topic while we finish our breakfast. Even though the conversation flows, there’s a heaviness in the air that I don’t quite understand.
Once we’re done, she tries to change and give me back my clothes, but I insist she stay comfortable.
She gathers her belongings and makes some smart-assed comment about walking through the hotel in heels and in a sweatshirt and shorts. We laugh it off and I walk her to the door barefoot.
Her strappy heels hang from her finger as she peers up at me. “Then this is goodbye?”
“It looks like it.”
“But there’s still a chance.”
“Livianna, you know it could never work between us.”
A smile curls her lips. “It could.”
“How do you figure?”
“What if it’s fate? We keep running into each other. There’s an obvious attraction, so I’m just saying…there’s a possibility.”
With her words, I know it’s a good thing I’m moving and will be away from her. Because if I spend any more time with her, I’ll give in to the pressure of her coming on to me and fall right into her dangerous spell.