6. Chapter 1 #2
That he wanted her.
That he could wait.
But he wouldn’t wait forever. And in the meantime, he’d keep living his life like he always had—loud, reckless, and never quite alone.
I already know I shouldn’t get too close to him. And I know he doesn’t really want me to.
Confused by his messages, she shut her laptop, the glow of the screen vanishing into darkness.
She had no idea what to make of his words, whether he actually missed her or just wanted to make sure she was still thinking about him.
Maybe he had just dreamed about her and loved the illusion.
In the silence of her room, she heard his voice in her head.
“Yeah, well. Maybe you’re just not as smart as you think.”
She clenched her fists, her pulse quickening.
She should have let him go a long time ago. But she never did.
But then there are those moments—those seconds when he looks at me, the way he’s always looked at me… like I’m the only one who’s ever really mattered to him.
And it was exactly those moments that made her weak.
She hated that it was enough.
But maybe, just maybe, the real reason she wouldn't let him go... was because he was the only one who never looked at her like she was easy to love .
Sebastian
T he air stood still, heavy and sweet with chlorinated summer heat. One of those typical California nights. Even the wind had decided not to move.
Bas sat on the lounge chair by the pool, barefoot, holding a half-finished smoothie that had long since gone warm.
The last drops of water from his hair trailed down his neck, soaking into the fabric of his shirt.
He’d taken a shower—not because he was sweating, but because he thought it might help.
It hadn’t.
The heat still clung beneath his skin. Not from the outside. But from whatever had been stirring inside him since her messages burned into his screen.
His phone lay next to him, face down.
As if that would change anything.
Of course he had read the message.
Evin
You’re making me curious… How about you show me tomorrow at the party?
Too casual. Too light.
Too exactly what threw him off balance.
His leg jittered up and down, a rhythmic motion that started subconsciously.
Since the bonfire four weeks ago, everything had shifted.
Not radically, but noticeably.
Something in him had opened, uncontrolled, creeping…
and by the time he realized it, it was already too late.
Before that, he had known how the game worked.
Life at Ashbourne High wasn’t complicated, not if you understood how to navigate its social currents.
He was never too loud, never flashy, but there was a gravity to him that pulled people in without trying.
Jonas, Chris, and a few others from the team, guys who knew that merely standing in his orbit was enough to be noticed.
He never sought acceptance—he simply belonged.
And then there was Evin. She never truly fit in, and she didn’t stand entirely apart either. She was like a glitch in a digital system, persistent and intriguing.
She and Milka moved through the school like a quiet force: untamed, and detached.
Milka, sharp-tongued and unbothered, with a last name that still opened doors even after her father’s cheating scandal and all-out war had slammed most of them shut.
And Evin, softer in tone but no less unyielding.
They didn’t try to belong. They didn’t ask permission.
Together, they built their own current in a place obsessed with surface and control.
And somehow, that made them impossible to look away from.
He took a sip and winced. The smoothie tasted like shit.
Still, he drank it, needing something to do while his mind kept spinning.
Evin had never been the type to conform.
Never one of those girls who bent to fit in. And there were moments he genuinely envied her for that .
She could be loud, sharp, unbothered.
But he’d seen how quickly that could shift.
Like one day in P.E.—his ankle twisted mid-sprint, pain shooting up his leg.
She’d been pissed at him the day before, but that didn’t matter.
She crouched beside him without a word of softness.
“Sit down,” she’d said, firm, steady.
And he had. Without hesitation.
There weren’t many girls like her.
Not in his world.
Most played a part. Said the right things. Smiled at the right time.
Just like Cat.
Cat never said much about Evin. Not directly. But she didn’t have to.
The way her gaze flicked over whenever Evin entered a room, uncertain, like she wasn’t sure whether to watch or look away. The perfectly timed, perfectly hollow comments.
It was all there.
And it wasn’t just jealousy. Bas was pretty sure about that.
It was something that came from deeper down.
Cat had spent her whole life being what others wanted.
Well-spoken. Polished. The kind of girl who knew how to be liked without ever being known.
Their fathers played golf together every other weekend. If this were the kind of world his dad dreamed of, he and Cat would’ve been promised to each other long ago.
And maybe that’s why it worked between them, for a while. Because Bas never had to offer anything real and she didn’t ask.
It was uncomplicated. They’d hooked up a few times. Slept together when it made sense.
When he wanted silence and when he needed to feel nothing at all.
When did everything get this fucked up?
It was a small house party in tenth grade.
Someone had suggested spin the bottle, like it was still a thing.
Bas's friend Dominic ended up having to kiss Evin. A quick peck on the lips, nothing major.
Everyone was cheering for them.
Evin laughed while doing it. And Dominik smiled like it meant something.
Something in Bas snapped.
Later, he found himself in the kitchen, kissing Cat.
They spent the rest of the night making out in some dark corner, lips moving like they knew the routine.
He didn’t even notice when Evin left the party.
Just after that night, it got more complicated.
And Cat knew exactly what they were— and what they weren’t.
And maybe that’s what cut the deepest now.
Bec ause no matter how easy she played it, she saw the way he looked at Evin.
Something he wasn’t trying to escape.
Evin didn’t soften her edges. Didn’t twist herself to be liked.
She just was—loud, blunt, and even messy sometimes.
Unafraid.
And guys noticed.
He noticed.
And that’s what Cat hated most.
While he was texting Evin, he shifted on the lounge chair, stretching one leg, then pulling the other in.
Today the cushions were too soft.
He wasn’t even sure what he wanted from the party.
To see her, obviously! To watch her.
Kiss her? Maybe.
Remind her who she kept coming back to? For sure.
He told himself it was nothing. Just a game.
Just enough to keep her close, but not enough to lose control.
Though he’d never admit it… He just needed to know she hadn’t stopped wanting him.
When the screen dimmed, he picked up the phone again, rolled his neck once, and walked toward the gym.
He needed to move.
To sweat out the feeling.
To make sure that by tomorrow night he could see her. Want her—without giving anything away.