30. Chapter 25
Burning Thoughts At Night
Evin
E vin arrived later than planned. The city was already cloaked in darkness, and the streets glimmered faintly under the muted glow of streetlights.
The cool night air tingled against her skin, but inside, she was burning.
Her last conversation with Ben and the thoughts of Sergej had left her restless.
She felt it was time to finally draw a line, but she wasn’t sure if Sergej would accept it.
When she finally saw Sergej, he was leaning casually against his car, his hands buried deep in his pockets.
His eyes found hers instantly, and for a moment, an unbearable tension hung in the air, making her hold her breath.
Why did he have to look at her like that?
Why did he have to make everything so complicated?
He didn’t say a word, but his gaze spoke volumes: You came, so you must want me after all.
Evin felt her hands clench in the pockets of her jacket. She had to stay calm, but he wasn’t making it easy.
"I came to talk," she said firmly, lifting her chin slightly to maintain her composure.
Her voice was steady, even though her heart was racing. She had a clear plan for what to say. So why did it suddenly feel so difficult? Sergej laughed softly, almost mockingly.
"Talk?" His eyes narrowed slightly, as if he were hearing a joke she hadn’t gotten yet. "Come on, Evin. We both know talking isn’t really your thing when you’re around me." He let the sentence hang deliberately in the air.
Her cheeks burned as heat flushed her face. She forced herself to breathe.
"Listen, Sergej. I’m not here to play games or argue with you." She tried to keep control of the conversation. Sergej took a drag from his joint, blowing the smoke into the air, and smirked. "We talk all the time. So, what’s it about this time?"
"It’s about how you pressure me," Evin said, locking eyes with him. "What’s between us... it’s not what I want."
He tilted his head with a lopsided grin and took a step closer, his voice dripping with sarcasm.
"Pressure? I told you I’d give you time. Relax!" Sergej’s gaze slid over her dismissively. Evin felt her throat tighten.
"It’s not about what you say, Sergej. It’s about how I feel. And you don’t respect that."
"Don’t respect it?" He raised his eyebrows and stepped toward her. "Evin, if I didn’t take you seriously, why would I even be here? Why would I have texted you at all?"
They locked eyes, and for a moment, Evin didn’t know what to say. "Giving me time doesn’t mean I’ll wait forever. I just know what I want. If you don’t know what you want..."
He deliberately left the sentence unfinished, his gaze scanning her face as if searching for a reaction.
Evin felt her throat dry up. She had planned to stay calm and composed, but his boldness was cracking her facade.
"That’s exactly it, Sergej. You always see everything from your perspective. It’s not just about what you want. It’s about me too."
Ser gej sighed, as if the conversation was exhausting him. "And what do you want, Evin? Do you want to get rid of me because I don’t fit into your idea of perfect? Come on, that’s not the real reason, is it?"
He stepped even closer, just near enough that she didn’t feel physically threatened.
“Yes,” Evin said firmly, her eyes gleaming with determination. "I don’t want this anymore. This... doesn’t feel right. I’m done with the games." His smile faded, and for a moment, his expression was serious.
"Games?" he asked quietly. "You think I’m playing with you?"
In one fluid motion, he took a drag from his joint, the ember momentarily lighting up his face. He held the smoke in his lungs as if he could slow time itself, then exhaled it in a dense, gray cloud—right into Evin’s face. The sharp scent of weed and tobacco hung heavy in the air.
Her throat scratched, her eyes burned, but she didn’t let it show.
Sergej blew out the rest of the smoke slowly, his gaze never leaving hers. It was as if he were testing her, daring her to hold her ground.
“So why are you here, if you’re so determined?” he asked quietly, his voice laced with cynicism. “You show up, talking about pressure, about feelings. But in the end, here you are. So what is this, baby?”
She felt the anger rising inside her. “This isn’t a game, Sergej. I didn’t want to end it over a message. I can’t deal with this,” her finger moved back and forth between them, “anymore. But of course, you wouldn’t understand that because you don’t see anyone but yourself.”
“You talk like you know who I am,” he replied coldly, his eyes flickering with anger. “But you have no idea. You knew exactly what you were getting into from the start.”
And there it was. Everything she had bottled up over the past few weeks broke over her like a wave.
“That’s right! We barely know each other, and yet you act like I owe you something. Who the hell do you think you are? If you’re so desperate, go find someone else!”
Sergej was visibly caught off guard, but he clung to his facade. “That’s not what I meant,” he tried to soothe her. “We have a connection. That means something.”
Evin shook her head, her patience completely gone. I only have a connection with one person... “I don’t care what you mean. I’m done with this,” she snapped.
Yet Sergej still didn’t seem to take her seriously. When she took a step back, he suddenly grabbed her arm. A sharp pain shot through her body, straight to her mind. “Wait, you can’t just leave like this,” he said, almost pleading.
That was it.
The moment Evin had had enough.
She yanked her arm free, her eyes blazing with fury.
“Don’t touch me! Ever again!” Her voice shook—not with fear, but with determination. She stepped back again, her stance firm and unyielding. “And thanks—I’ll find my way home on my own.”
Without another glance, she turned and walked away, her steps firm and resolute as the darkness of the night swallowed her whole.
__________
Evin rubbed her temples as the noise of the cafeteria hammered against her head like a dull ache. The math exam formulas were still swirling in her mind, but they were the last thing she wanted to think about. Across from her, Milka was scrolling through her phone.
“Sergej is still texting me,” Evin muttered, tossing her phone onto the table face-down to block out the flood of incoming messages.
Milka’s smile widened as she glanced up, her eyes locking onto the screen. “Looks like someone’s got it bad for you.”
Evin scoffed, rolling her eyes. “I just want him to stop.” The familiar pressure was building up inside her again.
Milka leaned back, crossing her arms with an amused smirk. “Well, clearly he hasn’t gotten the memo yet!”
Evin shook her head. “That’s the problem. I’m just done with all this drama. It’s messing with my head, and I can’t focus on anything.”
She glanced over at her phone as it buzzed again.
Sergej
I overreacted.
I’m sorry.
It won’t happen again, love.
Milka’s smile faded instantly as she glanced up, her eyes locking onto someone behind Evin.
"Oh, boy, here we go again."
Without a word, Bas dropped into the seat beside her. His movements were cool and effortless, as though it were the most natural thing in the world.
Evin felt the air around her grow heavier, even though he hadn’t said a word. A quick glance at Milka, who was now glued to her phone, told her she’d have to handle this on her own.
“So, how’d your exam go?” he finally asked.
Evin straightened up, her fingers toying with the edge of the table. “Bas.” She forced herself not to look at him.
“Now that you’re always studying with Ben, you two should just go ahead and win a prize for cutest couple,” he said with a bitter laugh.
Evin turned to him, her expression skeptical. She could feel her heart pounding against her ribs. Bas had an infuriating talent for pushing all the right buttons with just a few words. She hated it—and yet, she couldn’t help being drawn to him.
“Is that all you have to talk about?” she shot back coolly, though her legs bounced beneath the table.
“Not really.”
“Oh? Then what?” Her voice was sharp, but that familiar burn was already creeping up her throat. His calm demeanor collided with her growing frustration.
Bas leaned back, his movements deceptively casual. “I was looking for you,” he said quietly. It sounded like that explained everything.
Her heart raced as she tried to keep her composure.
“Interesting.” Her eyes stayed glued to him, hating the way his gaze seemed to cut right through her, as if he could see what she was thinking.
“I think there are a few things we haven’t cleared up yet.” His voice was too controlled, like he had rehearsed it. His words were calm—almost too calm—as if he was determined not to show any weakness. But Evin caught how his eyes flickered briefly across her face.
“Oh, really?” she asked, forcing her voice to sound casual. “And what exactly?”
Her throat felt dry, her nerves frayed.
He didn’t take his eyes off her. “That thing with your new guy.” Bas tilted his head toward Evin’s phone with a slight nod. “Are you sure that’s what you want?”
Evin’s heart sped up. She hated how he always managed to hit his mark, how he got under her skin without really saying much.
“What does it matter to you? You don’t even know what you want yourself.”
He sat there so damn confidently—with his athletic, muscular build and those stormy eyes that swept over her like a cold gust of wind.
His dark blond hair fell casually into his face, and even though he didn’t seem to put much effort into his appearance, everything about him radiated a certain effortless perfection.
Leaning back, he frowned slightly and raked a hand through his hair. “Come on, Evin. What do you expect? That guy’s gonna treat you like a queen?” A smirk spread across his face. “Please. You know it’s never gonna be serious. He’s just using you—it’s obvious.”
Her eyes narrowed. “And you know what’s best for me?”