33. Chapter 28
Careful What You Wish For
Evin
Dear Diary,
I can’t do this anymore. Sergej... I don’t want him. I can’t stand him. He’s exhausting. Always pushing, always wanting more, always faster. It makes me sick.
But then I see Bas. And I know he doesn’t like it.
That damned jealousy in his eyes. Somehow, I enjoy it.
Does that make me sick? Maybe. But it feels good.
And I force myself to hold on just a little longer.
Just to feel it a little more. And so that he can feel even a fraction of what I had to endure all those years.
His cheap apology? He can keep it!
School… I passed all my exams. But how? No idea. Barely. Always just barely. It feels like I’m balancing on the edge, one step away from falling every single day.
Only ballet… that’s going well. That’s where I’m truly myself. That’s where it feels right .
But my weight? Fuck! Not even ten pounds in three months. Ten! After all this stress?
That’s stressing me out the most.
The only thing I wish for right now is to suddenly lose 20 more pounds! A miracle is needed!
Please!
Thank you!
Bye