47. Chapter 42
We Never Saw This Coming
Evin
E vin pushed aside the tent flap and stepped out into the cool, still evening air.
The noise of the event behind her was muffled, as if someone had briefly pressed pause on the world.
She took a deep breath, feeling the fresh air fill her lungs, trying to shake off the tension that had weighed on her since the morning.
“Evin.”
The voice was deep, familiar—and it made her blood run cold. She turned around slowly.
There he was. Half-hidden in the shadow of a nearby building, hands buried in the pockets of his dark jacket. His posture was relaxed, but his eyes were fixed on her with an intensity that pulled her straight back to the past—to everything she had tried to suppress.
For a moment, she was paralyzed. Her breath caught, and the words she wanted to say got stuck in her throat. But she forced herself to stay calm. Not no w, not here. She wouldn’t give him that power over her.
“You don’t belong here,” she finally said, her voice hesitant, but with a hint of firmness that surprised even herself.
Sergej shrugged as if he had barely registered her words. “Is that so?” His voice was calm, almost friendly, but the undertones made her stomach clench. “I thought I’d check out this event. Looks well-organized.”
“Just leave.” Her hands clenched into fists inside the pockets of her jacket. She wanted to appear strong, even though she felt anything but.
He stepped slowly out of the shadows, just close enough for the glow of a streetlamp to illuminate his face. “I didn’t know you’d be here,” he said quietly, but his eyes betrayed something else. “Quite a surprise, seeing you so... involved.”
Evin gritted her teeth. His words were harmless, but the slight hesitation, the subtle emphasis, was enough to make her throat tighten. She felt the familiar constriction, but then—something flickered inside her. A spark of anger. She straightened slightly, her gaze sharpening.
“Stop wasting my time! What do you want, Sergej?” Her voice was louder now, more direct.
He paused, studying her as if searching for an answer written on her face. “I don’t want anything, Evin.” His lips curled into a small smile. “Maybe just to see how you’re doing.”
“How I’m doing?” She let out a dry laugh, sharper than she had intended. “That’s none of your business.”
Sergej tilted his head slightly, as if he was truly thinking about it. “Why so distant? You seem... different.” His gaze wandered over her face, her posture.
A moment of silence followed as Sergej continued to observe her.
His face remained neutral, but she noticed the subtle twitch in his jaw muscle.
He raised his hands, as if to signal he wasn’t looking for a fight.
“Relax, I’m not here to cause trouble. But now that I’ve seen you here—I just want to talk. ”
“Never.” She took a step back, her eyes narrowing. “Stay away from me. And from here.”
“ Evin?”
Bas’ voice rang out behind her, firm and clear, making both of them flinch. Sergej turned his head slightly, his expression remained unbothered, but his shoulders tensed just enough for Evin to notice. A fraction of her own tension eased as she saw Bas approaching in long, quick strides.
Sergej took a step back. “I don’t mean to intrude,” he said quietly, his gaze flicking briefly to Bas before returning to Evin. “We’ll see each other, Evin.”
With those words, he turned and walked away, his steps barely making a sound on the pavement.
Evin didn’t watch him go. Instead, she turned to Bas, who had stopped beside her, his face a mix of concern and restrained anger.
“You okay?” he asked, his voice steady, but the tension unmistakable.
“Yes.” She nodded quickly, forcing a small smile. “I... I just need to go to the restroom.”
Before he could protest, she turned and walked off, the quiet clicking of her shoes the only sound left in the silence.
__________
Evin turned the key in the restroom door, hearing the soft click as it locked.
She leaned against the cold tile, unmoving, letting the chill seep into her back as if it was the only thing keeping her grounded.
It felt as if someone had pulled the ground from under her, and yet—she was still here. Breathing. Functioning.
Her fingers glided over the skin of her hands, unsure of how to process this moment. The encounter had felt like a lightning strike—fast, hot, searing—and she didn’t know whether it had burned her or simply jolted her awake.
Sergej. Here. At this place. So close to her. How had she not expected it?
Her breathing was ragged, shallow and uneven. She closed her eyes, feeling her throat constrict, her mind scrambling to sort through the flood of emotions.
Dis gust. That was the first thing that surfaced as his face flashed in her mind. His presence had hit her like a wave—poisonous, acidic, corrosive. She hadn’t even realized how tightly her hands had curled into fists until her nails dug into her skin.
And then, there was the anger.
It roared inside her, untamed and raw. Anger that he was here at all, that he had the audacity to step into her space, into a world that didn’t belong to him. Anger that he still occupied so much space in her mind without her consent.
But it wasn’t just that.
An unwelcome shame twisted in her stomach, gnawing at her, eating away at her sense of self. The memory of her own paralysis back then—of how she had looked at him today, of how she had struggled to summon her strength. Had she hesitated? Why wasn’t I stronger?
Her gaze drifted to the mirror.
For a moment, she hesitated before looking at herself.
Her face was pale, with only a faint flush in her cheeks, and her lips trembled slightly. Her eyes—the same eyes that had changed so much since that night—were wide, almost glassy. But there was something new. Something darker.
She held her own gaze, searching for something familiar, something that reminded her of herself. But all she saw was a mixture of the girl she used to be and the one she was trying to become. A person she didn’t fully know yet.
The disgust was still there, along with the anger. But there was something else, too.
Something quiet. Almost imperceptible. A flicker of strength at the center of her chest.
He hadn’t broken her today. Not anymore.
She shook her head and looked away, placing her hands on the sink.
The cold porcelain burned against her skin, and she felt the tension in her back, like a bow pulled too tight, ready to snap.
The memories pressed in—his eyes back then, his words that still lingered like needles under her skin.
And now, t oday, the way he had looked at her, as if he had any right to exist in her life.
Evin swallowed hard. She didn’t know how she was supposed to feel. Her thoughts crashed against each other, spiraling too fast to hold onto. But she knew one thing:
She was not the same girl anymore.
The realization came quietly, almost hesitantly. But it was there.
The Evin from before wouldn’t have said anything. She would have looked away, walked away, tried to disappear.
But she had spoken. She had found her voice, even if only for a moment. And that alone was something.
Her heartbeat slowed as she continued to stare into the mirror, her eyes narrowing in thought.
You’re here, Sergej, but that doesn’t mean you get to stay.
The thought wasn’t loud, wasn’t triumphant. But it was there. A promise to herself.
She straightened, pulled down her sweater, and took a deep breath. The cold against her back was gone, but the tension in her body remained. She knew she hadn’t overcome everything. She knew he was still in her head, in her thoughts, in her shadows.
But she also knew—he wasn’t the end of her.
She was here.
And she would keep moving forward.
With one last look at the mirror, she turned, opened the door, and stepped out.
The world was waiting.
And she would face it.
Step by step.
__________
With her arms crossed, Milka stood at the entrance of the tent, her expression a mix of alarm and determination. “What did he want?” she asked, her voice calm but pressing. “I heard Bas talking to Bellamy.”
Evin nodded silently, her fingers tightening around the edges of her jacket pockets.
“I don’t know,” she whispered, her throat feeling dry. “He didn’t say anything. Nothing... specific. But he was there, Milka. Just there.”
Milka exhaled audibly, shook her head, and took a step closer. “And what did you do?”
“I...” Evin hesitated, searching for the words. “I told him to stay away from me.”
A flicker of pride flashed in Milka’s eyes, though her expression remained firm. “Good. But that’s not enough. If he was here, Ev, he’ll come back. And you can’t pretend this is nothing.”
Evin avoided her gaze, staring at the ground. “I don’t want this, Milka. I don’t want him to take up this much space. Not today. Not ever again.”
“Then let’s do something about it.” Milka’s voice was calm but demanding. “Make sure he never shows up near you again. Keep him out of your world.”
Evin lifted her head, meeting her friend’s gaze. There was a mix of determination and pain in Milka’s eyes.
“How am I supposed to do that? What if he keeps coming back no matter what I do?”
Milka placed a hand on Evin’s arm—gentle, yet firm. “Then I’ll make sure he doesn’t. You’re not alone, Evin. You have me. And Bas. Even if you haven’t told him yet.”
Evin closed her eyes, fighting against the sting of tears. “I know. Ugh, he just disgusts me so much. How did he even find out about the event? Or that I’d be here?”
“I was about to ask you the same thing,” Milka murmured. “But in the end, that doesn’t even matter! You are not defined by what happened. You are Evin Hayes! And you will not let him tear you down.”
Evin slowly nodded, a strong smile playing at her lips. Exactly what I needed to hear.
“Thank you.”
Mil ka pulled her hand back and smiled in return. “Alright, now go to Bas. And make sure he knows he doesn’t have to worry. I’ll hold down the fort.”
__________
Sebastian
B as stood in front of her, the cool night air prickling against his skin, but the heat of rage in his chest made him blind to it.
“Why didn’t you tell me right away what he wanted?” His voice was quiet but sharp as a scalpel.
Evin lifted her head, her arms still wrapped around herself protectively.
“Because it wouldn’t have changed anything, Bas. I told him to leave me alone. And he did.”
Her voice was steady, but he could hear the faint trace of uncertainty.
“That’s not the point.”
Bas took a step closer, his hands clenched into fists. “He had no damn right to even speak to you. And then he talks to you like...” His words trailed off, and he shook his head.
“Do you really think I’ll just let that slide?”
“Bas.” Her voice was firmer now. She stepped closer, forcing him to meet her gaze. “It’s over. I handled it. You were there. You saw him leave. Why isn’t that enough for you?”
“ Because he should have never been here in the first place!”
Bas’ voice rose before he exhaled sharply, his jaw tightening.
“Evin, you don’t get it. People like him don’t just disappear. They come back.”
“And what do you want to do?”
Her eyes flashed, her voice slicing through the night.
“Go after him? Show him that he got to you exactly the way he wanted? You’d be playing right into his hands, Bas. That helps no one. Least of all me.”
That hit him.
His chest rose and fell heavily as her words echoed in his mind.
Why does she want to brush this off so quickly? She saw him—she knows what he’s capable of.
“So you want me to do nothing?” he finally asked, his voice low but charged. “Just watch as he gets closer and closer to you? As he...”
He bit down on his tongue, the words stuck in his throat.
Evin placed a hand on his arm—gentle, but with enough pressure to make him pause.
“I need you, Bas. But not if you’re going to fight this battle for me. This is mine, not yours.”
He let out a bitter laugh, pulling his arm away.
“Your battle?” His voice was rough, his eyes burning with frustration. “You talk like you can stop him. But you can’t, Evin. People like him only understand one thing.”
“Then let me be the one to speak it.”
Her voice trembled slightly, but her gaze held steady.
“You have to trust me, Bas. I know how hard that is for you. But I can do this.”
He wanted to argue, wanted to prove to her that she was wrong.
But her gaze stopped him.
That determination, that strength radiating from her—it had him in a chokehold. At the same time, a part of him was fighting against the instinct to protect her, no matter what she said.
“I want you to promise me you won’t be alone if he shows up again.”
His voice was quieter, but the weight of his words was undeniable.
Evin nodded slowly.
“I promise you.”
Her voice was calm, almost gentle.
“ And you have to promise me that you won’t act without me.”
Bas hesitated, narrowing his eyes as he studied her.
Finally, he nodded—though reluctantly.
“But if he comes near you again, Evin...”
His voice dropped to a low growl.
“I don't know what happened between the two of you, and it's none of my business, but— I won’t just stand here and watch.”
Evin held his gaze. A faint smile tugged at her lips, but it didn’t reach her eyes.
“I know.”