21. Chapter Twenty-One
Chapter Twenty-One
Sarah
When Friday morning comes, the first thing I notice is the weight of Kevin's arm across my waist.
Our fingers are still linked.
I study them for a moment — his knuckles are bruised and swollen from last night and my hand seems so tiny against his.
The contrast seems to sum up everything that's going on — big and small.
I see calluses on his palms from stick work, a small scar across his thumb from who-knows-what hockey injury that probably happened long before he adopted Ranger and met me.
These are hands that have fought for things. Defended things.
Last night, I was who he fought for. He defended me, even though no one realized that’s what it was really about. But it wasn’t about a check or a hit or a stick.
That would have been too simple. Too hockey.
It was about a world that had turned upside down, a world where he had to keep it all inside, and the only way he could make sense of what he needed to say was to do it with his hands.
I'm not entirely sure what to do with that realization, but I know in my heart that it means something. Maybe it means everything. I wish I could say I woke up this morning and had it figured out.
Ranger's starfished at our feet, snoring softly. One paw twitches in whatever dream he's having. Probably chasing squirrels or stealing someone's lunch.
And then, the nausea hits before I can process anything else.
It starts low, a rolling wave in my stomach that makes my mouth water in that horrible pre-vomit way. I squeeze my eyes shut. Breathe through my nose. Try to will it away through sheer stubbornness.
It doesn't work.
"Sarah?" Kevin sounds half-asleep, but there's immediate alertness underneath. "You good?"
I open my eyes. He's already sitting up, reaching across for the nightstand, where a bottle of water and a sleeve of saltines sit waiting.
He set them out. It had to have been last night after I fell asleep. He must have woken up at some point and gone to the kitchen.
And thought of me. Protected me again.
The gesture is so considerate that I want to cry.
Stupid pregnancy hormones.
"Yeah," I manage, taking the water. My hands shake slightly as I unscrew the cap. "Just... You know."
"Stupid pregnancy hormones?" The corner of his mouth turns up in a small smile and I can’t take my eyes off his face.
This is the worst possible time to notice how unfairly attractive he is. We both agreed we didn’t want to be alone last night, but is that the same as being together?
Regardless, my traitorous brain is cataloging the low measure of his half-asleep voice, the way his smile is an absolute thirst trap — he’s even actually still got all his own teeth, which I’ve learned is rare in this business — the way his shoulders flex when he shifts closer, and the fact that when God handed out a pack of abs, he made sure Kevin overachieved and got eight instead of six. Hashtag blessed.
"Exactly." It’s best to just keep my reply simple.
As I try to settle my stomach with thoughts of thirst traps and bites of cracker, he doesn't crowd me. Doesn't hover or ask if I need help or do any of the things that would make me feel fragile. Just props himself up on one elbow and stays close, monitoring, while I sip slowly, nibbling a cracker.
The saltine helps. The water helps more. Kevin helps the most.
After a minute, the nausea recedes to something manageable.
"Better?"
"Getting there."
"The ginger chews are in the kitchen. I can grab them."
"I'm okay." I look at him. Really look at him, and not in a I-woke-up-next-to-a-really-hot-hockey-player kind of way. His left eye is starting to purple from where he took that punch last night. "You look like hell."
"Feel like it too." But he's smiling. "Worth it."
I finish the cracker and set the water on the nightstand.
"I should get going. I've got to open the rescue, and you've got—"
"Let me drive you."
"Kevin—"
"I'm already up. I'll drop you off, head to morning skate. It's on the way."
It's not on the way. Not even close. The rescue is south, the practice facility is north, and he's going to add thirty minutes to his drive just to make sure I get there safely.
But I nod anyway.
Because I don’t have it figured out. But I do already know one small thing for sure. I have to let him in. Even though it terrifies me.
Even though every logical part of my brain is screaming that this is how you get hurt. This is how you start depending on someone and then they leave and you're left picking up the pieces alone.
I’ve seen it in my life. It’s what I grew up with. What I know.
But Kevin's looking at me with those steady blue eyes, and I can't seem to say no.
He said he would be there. He said he wouldn’t run.
All I have to do is say the word.
"Okay," I whisper.
It’s a word. I think it’s the word, at least for now. I hope whispering counts.
A smile appears on his face.
Looks like he heard me.
?? Boy Aquarium Maintenance Crew ??
Paige
Morning Sarah-any word on Kevin?
Brett’s worried about him — me too, but I’m also worried about you
He texted but Kev hasn’t answered yet
Quinn
He'll be sore today
He looks like hell
I’m ok — we talked some when he got home
Lindy
wait
are you THERE?
Quinn
Sarah are you at his place???
Yeah. My apartment smells like chicken wings. I can't go back until maintenance changes the filters
Paige
Oh girl no you absolutely cannot
Lindy
but are you in the guest room or
I want to puke basically 24/7 — but managing. I think Kevin got up in the middle of the night and put saltines and water on the nightstand.
They were waiting when I woke up
Paige
of course he did
Lindy
you don't have to answer me — that was kind of nosy. What do you need from us today?
Honestly? I don't know yet
Quinn
That's understandable — it’s been less than 48 hrs since you took the test but we’re here for u
Paige
DoPS call happens this morning. No word on timing yet
I'm prepared to make contingency plans with Melia from Super PawMart if needed
Quinn
Zero judgment here. Say anything
And zero conflict with team. What you tell us stays with us
Lindy
we've got you. whatever happens with DoPS we are not going to let this ruin this deal. it will be fine. all of us will take care of this end. you take care of you.
Paige
Girls-we need brunch. Saturday. Mozart's. 10am. All of us
Lindy
YES pastries and lake views
Quinn
I'm in
Paige
Sarah?
Yeah okay
Paige
Good. Today just focus on Ranger's debut. We’re all in the arena tonight. You’ve got support no matter what happens
??
Now go let that man drive you to work even though it's totally out of his way
How did you know
Lindy
because we know Kevin St. Clair
you're at his place and there’s like zero way he’s treating you like a roommate
Quinn
crackers, water, passenger princess
it’s basically the kevin st clair operating manual
Paige
Let him. Please. You both need it
Gotta get ready for work
Love all of you
Paige
We love you the mostest
Lindy
??
Quinn
??
I barely have myself through the front door before Diane's waving me down from the front desk where she's fielding a phone call and gesturing at three people waiting in the lobby.
"Sarah, thank goodness." She covers the phone. "We've got walk-ins. Two adoption inquiries and one surrender. Barb's in the kennels with the morning feeding."
"I've got the walk-ins." I drop my bag in the office. "Get me a call back number for the surrender and tell them I’ll reach out in a few minutes."
The first couple is in their sixties, looking for a companion dog. The wife — Karen — keeps dabbing at her eyes while explaining that their golden retriever passed last month and the house feels too empty.
"We're not trying to replace Bailey," her husband says. "Just... We're not ready to stop being dog people."
I walk them back to the kennels, introduce them to Duke — a seven-year-old lab mix with the sweetest disposition and a gray muzzle that makes him look distinguished.
Duke immediately leans into Karen's legs.
She sinks down to the floor and wraps her arms around him.
"Oh," she breathes. "Oh, you're perfect."
Her husband kneels beside her. Duke licks his face.
"I'll get the paperwork started," I say quietly. "Then we'll schedule your home visit."
By the time I finish the adoption application, Barb's brought the second walk-in back — a grad student named Marcellus who's looking for a running partner and falls immediately in love with a cattle dog mix named Rocket.
"Does he actually run?" Marcellus asks, watching Rocket bounce around the play yard like he's on springs.
"Like the wind," Barb confirms. "Fair warning, he's got energy for days. You'll need to tire him out or he'll redecorate your apartment."
"I run five miles a day."
"He'll keep up."
Another application. Another success story in the making.
By the time I handle the surrender call — a family relocating overseas, heartbroken about rehoming their beagle—it's past ten and my phone is buzzing nonstop.
?? Boy Aquarium Maintenance Crew ??
Paige
League hasn't made the call yet. I know you're worried, but no news could be good news.
Melia from Super PawMart’s been emailing — I’m not officially telling her about Kev until I need to
Quinn
I saw clips from 4 fights last night alone that were worse than what Kevin did. DoPS is probably on B2B calls.
Lindy
Truth. The Nashville game was wild. Thought they were going to have to put the janitor in to play after everyone got sent to the sin bin.
I text back a thumbs up and try to focus on the kennel schedule Diane's pulled up on the computer.
"You're vibrating," Diane says without looking away from the screen.
"I'm fine."
"You're the opposite of fine." She saves the document and swivels to face me. "What's going on?"
"Just... Today's a lot. Sponsor stuff. Kevin's hearing. The game."
"Kevin's got a hearing this morning?"