Chapter Twenty-Nine
Brinley
“It’s everywhere already.”
I did a quick search on my phone for my father’s name, and it’s everywhere. All the major media outlets, anyway. I quickly swipe out of the browser when a call from my mom comes through.
“Oh shit,” I mutter under my breath.
Cooper is already studying me, worry etched in his features. I ignore it, only for it to buzz again.
“Brinley?” he asks.
My stomach tightens. “It’s my mom,” I say.
“You can answer it, if you want. You can call me back.”
“No—” I cut him off.
“Okay, okay,” he says reassuringly.
I can hear Owen in the background telling him he’s going to leave him alone to talk to me, which I appreciate. I don’t want to let Cooper go yet, and I’m not ready for the conversation we’re about to have to be in front of anyone else.
“He’s gone,” he tells me, as if picking up on my hesitation. “Will you talk to me? Tell me what you’re thinking.”
My phone vibrates again. This time, I don’t swipe it away. I let it go to voicemail instead. She must not have left one because a text comes through right after.
Mom: Brinley, please call me back ASAP. It’s important.
“Why don’t you want to answer it?” he asks when I don’t respond to his earlier question.
I let out a slow breath. “Remember how I told you she doesn’t know I’m in Rixton?”
“You still haven’t told her?”
I shake my head. “I transferred at the last minute. She thought I was taking the semester off, and I didn’t know how to tell her I came here instead.”
Another text message comes through.
Mom: Why didn’t you tell me you were transferring to Rixton?
“Well,” I say under my breath, a humorless huff slipping out, “I guess she knows now.”
I can already hear her voice in my head, like she’s standing right in front of me.
“Don’t you think you should call her back?”
“Not tonight,” I say, switching my phone to Do Not Disturb.
“Will you tell me what you’re thinking? You look like you’re freaking out, and it’s killing me to be so far away from you right now.”
He studies me for a long second.
“You went to see him,” he says quietly.
“Yeah.”
“I know that part,” he adds. “You just never told me what happened. Why you left his office upset?”
I look away from the screen, my heart aching at the memory.
“I didn’t want to get into it at the time.”
“I know.” His voice is steady. “But you can talk to me. You can trust me. I’ve said this before, and I’ll keep saying it. I’m not going anywhere.”
I swallow. There’s something about the way he says it. His calm reassurance that I can lean on him, and for once, I actually want to do it.
“He knew about me. Before I showed up to talk to him.” I let out a heavy exhale. “He wasn’t surprised or confused. He just looked… annoyed.”
Cooper’s jaw tightens, but he doesn’t interrupt, and I’m thankful for it. I need to get this out.
“He told me there was an agreement,” I continue. “Between him and my mom. He basically paid her off to keep me a secret.”
The words don’t even sound like my own saying them out loud.
“And she agreed?”
“Yeah. I grew up thinking he left before she ever told him. Like it was a one-night thing and he just disappeared, and she couldn’t track him down.
” I shrug slightly. “That’s the story I was given.
And for a long time, I didn’t question it.
Didn’t ask for details or wonder why she didn’t try harder to find him. ”
“And she never told you the truth?” Cooper asks.
“No. Not until I found out on my own.” I rub my hands over my knees. “She said it was to protect me.”
He doesn’t interrupt.
“We moved a lot. She worked two jobs for most of my childhood. She wasn’t living easy off some secret payout. We struggled.” I glance down. “I know she did what she thought she had to do.”
The loft suddenly feels smaller. It’s almost suffocating.
“I always told myself if he knew about me, maybe things would’ve been different. Maybe he would’ve wanted to be in my life. Maybe we could’ve had… a relationship or something.”
Cooper’s expression changes just slightly. He already knows where this is headed.
“But he did know,” I say. “He always knew.”
The words don’t hit softer the second time.
“And he still chose to stay away.”
I swallow.
“Part of me almost wishes I never found out. He wanted me to stay a secret. Like I didn’t exist. And now…” I let out a slow breath. “Now everyone knows. And it still doesn’t change the fact that he never wanted me.”
There’s a quiet beat.
“Brinley, any man who looks at you and decides he doesn’t want you in his life is an idiot. He doesn’t deserve to even know you, let alone claim he had anything to do with bringing you into this world. Not if he couldn’t stand up and be your father.”
Tears fill my eyes. I nod in agreement as the first tear breaks and slides down my cheek.
“I didn’t tell her at first because I knew she’d discourage me from coming. I hadn’t told her since because, well, I guess I’m kind of mad at her. And I don’t know if I even have a right to be now.”
Cooper’s quiet for a second. “You do,” he says. “You’re allowed to feel that way.”
“She did what she thought was best,” I say. “But she decided my whole life without ever asking me what I wanted. She took away my right to know the truth.”
I let out a shaky breath as I finally meet his gaze.
“I don’t want to be the girl he paid to disappear,” I admit. “And I don’t want to be the scandal that ruins your season either.”
His eyes sharpen, his face falling.
“You’re not that,” he says quietly. “None of this is your fault. And I’m not going to let anyone treat you like a secret.”
I nod even though I’m not sure what I’m agreeing to.
“Stay on with me,” he says.
“I don’t want to go anywhere anyway.”
He shifts on his end, the screen tilting for a second before it steadies. I watch as he moves across the room and settles back onto the bed, propping himself against the headboard again. The lamp behind him casts a low light across his shoulders.
When he says, “Come here,” I laugh under my breath. “I am here.”
“I need you closer.”
I adjust the phone until my face fills the screen.
“Better. How are you feeling?” he asks quietly. “After earlier.”
“I will be. Eventually,” I say, exhaling softly. “Not much I can do about it now, right?”
He nods once. “That’s enough for tonight.”
No matter how much it hurt to learn the truth, I can’t regret coming here.
Not when it led me to him.
***
My alarm goes off the following morning, and I don’t move right away. I blindly pat around on the air mattress next to me, searching for the source of the sound. I smile when I see a text from Cooper waiting for me after I shut off the alarm.
Cooper: Good morning, beautiful.
I stare at it longer than I should, warmth spreading through my chest before I can stop it.
Me: Good morning to you. You sleep well?
Cooper: Not nearly as good as I would have if you were next to me.
I can picture him lying in his hotel bed, half awake, with his hair a mess. The hotel sheets twisted around his legs, and that smirk that makes me weak curling the edge of his mouth.
I set my phone down and sit up slowly. It’s quiet in a way that only happens this early in the morning, before the bar is alive with the sound of music and cars driving by.
A yawn escapes before I can stop it as I push myself to stand, pausing for a second to stretch.
I can’t explain it, but something sits low in my chest, like a warning I don’t understand yet.
I walk over to the window and pull the curtain to the side. Everything looks normal. A couple of cars are parked in the lot across from my apartment. The alley stretching alongside the next-door building looks the same. Nothing appears out of place.
I stand there for a few minutes, watching as cars pass by, unable to shake the thought of what people are saying after those articles. Then I let the curtain fall, telling myself to let it go. It’s not like I can change it now.
Steam fills the bathroom when I turn on the shower. I let the water run longer than I should before I climb in. The heat makes it harder to think about anything when it beats against my skin.
When I wipe the fog off the mirror afterward, I look at myself for a second, like I’m checking to see if I look different now. Like my world crashed in some way the night before.
I don’t, which I guess is a relief.
I dry my hair and swipe on some mascara. I take a little more time than usual even though I don’t have any reason to. It’s just easier to focus on this than letting the thoughts I’ve been keeping at bay sweep back in.
After I pack up my stuff for class, I push open the door and head outside.
Dave is on a ladder near the corner of the building, tightening something small and black against the siding.
“What are you doing here so early?” I ask.
He glances down at me. “Morning,” he says. “Didn’t your boyfriend tell you?”
I blink. Cooper? “Tell me what?”
He slowly climbs down, setting the drill on the ground.
“He stopped by the bar the other day,” Dave says. “Told me what’s been going on.”
I adjust my backpack on my shoulders. “What’s been going on?”
He gestures toward the corner of the building, and that’s when I notice it. The camera is already mounted, angled toward the back steps.
“I have one up here,” he says. “There’s another over the front door already. And I mounted one across the lot on that pole yesterday to face the stairwell.”
I turn and look. I hadn’t even noticed it before. It’s small and black and blends in with the metal pole near the edge of the parking lot. It’s pointed directly at the stairs that lead up to my place.
“I’m just finishing the wiring on this one,” he adds. “Adding another light in the alley too.”
“Dave, you don’t have to go through the headache of all this.”
He studies me for a second. “Is it true? That someone grabbed you out here one night?”
I hesitate. “Yeah.”
His jaw tightens.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I didn’t want to make it into a bigger deal than it was.”