Chapter 19
By the time they finished shopping, both Mirielle and Lettie had two full sets of winter wear packed into travel bags. Reis had ordered several more custom-tailored outfits for Mirielle to be readied for shipment in the spring.
Mirielle donned a black velvet cloak trimmed in black fox fur that made her skin look so luminous Kellan swore he saw Reis blush.
Kellan had insisted on the silver velvet set lined with rabbit fur for Lettie, proclaiming it made her look like a fire sprite caught in winter.
By the time they returned to the tavern, the sky beyond Drumhaven had already darkened into deep blue dusk. Dinner was roast duck with honey-glazed carrots and mulled wine beside the hearth while snow drifted softly beyond the windows.
Mirielle retired early.
The room glowed gold beneath firelight by the time she finished bathing. She sat on the edge of the large wooden tub, slowly combing water through her hair while she absently watched the fire.
Then the door clicked.
Mirielle startled so suddenly she nearly slipped. With a small yelp, she splashed back into the sanctuary of the tub, water spilling over the rim onto the wooden floorboards.
There was a pause.
Then the door quietly shut again.
For one mortifying second, silence filled the room before realization hit her.
Reis.
It's not like he hadn't seen all of her, but somehow the idea of him seeing her still made her face heat.
She slowly rose from the tub, dripping water onto the already wet floor. She grabbed a large wool blanket from near the hearth and wrapped herself in it tightly.
Then she walked to the foyer and stood just behind the door.
"Reis?"
The lock clicked and the door opened slightly. Reis was there, a look of concern etched into his face.
"I'm sorry," she said quietly.
His expression gentled. After searching the hall for prying eyes, he quickly entered and closed the door behind him.
"You don't need to apologize to me," he said gently, his frame now filling the foyer, completely dwarfing hers.
Mirielle's cheeks and neck were still bright pink. Her hands clutched the edges of the wool blanket tighter.
Reis looked over her expression. Her downcast eyes and her flushed cheeks. "Mirielle," he murmured low and comforting. "Why would you hide from me?"
Mirielle shifted on her feet and Reis saw her begin to retreat into herself.
Reis moved slowly, afraid to startle her again. He reached for the edge of the wool blanket near her chin.
Mirielle froze, her silver eyes meeting his in startled confusion.
His eyes never left hers as he slowly began to peel away the blanket, giving her every chance to stop him. Her embarrassment chastised her and she released her grip on the blanket's edge.
She stood perfectly still as he carefully loosened the wool on her shoulders, pulling it away inch by inch until it slipped from her entirely, pooling on the floor in a heap.
Reis took a steadying breath.
He looked at her like the sight of her hurt him, not with hunger alone, with reverence so deep it bordered on grief.
His gaze moved over her slowly with quiet awe.
Damp curls clung to her chest. Droplets of water traced curved lines down her throat and waist. The firelight turned her skin pale gold against the winter-dark room.
Mirielle felt suddenly vulnerable beneath that look.
Heat bloomed across her neck and cheeks until she was certain her entire body had turned pink beneath his stare. Instinctively, her fingers twitched slightly at her chest, as though uncertain whether to cover herself again.
Reis noticed. His eyes fell on her with impossible gentleness.
“Do not hide from me,” he murmured. The words were quiet, tender, more like a plea than a command.
He carefully brushed her hair away from her shoulder. The touch made her shiver softly.
Reis exhaled shakily at the reaction. “You’re trembling,” he murmured.
Mirielle furrowed her brows together. “I can’t help it.”
A faint, aching smile crossed his face. “I know.” His thumb brushed lightly across her temple. “You’re very brave for me anyway.”
Reis ran his fingers below her jaw. Her eyelashes shuddered beneath his touch.
"Come here," he muttered, leaning down slowly, giving her every chance to retreat.
Her silver eyes met his and she obeyed, tilting her chin just enough. He kissed her, softly at first, pressing his lips into hers with strained hesitance as though he feared overwhelming her would make her retreat from him again.
Her fingers instinctively curled into the front of his cloak as his hand slid to her waist, steadying her. He kissed her again and again with aching tenderness.
A quiet sound escaped Mirielle before she could stop it and Reis visibly shuddered against her.
The reaction startled her enough that her eyes fluttered open slightly.
Reis looked wrecked. His forehead rested briefly against hers, his breathing heavy and uneven. He kissed the corner of her mouth, then her cheek, then beneath her jaw.
“You are beautiful,” he murmured against her skin, low and deep enough to send heat rushing through her all over again.
Mirielle turned bright pink beneath the praise. That only seemed to undo him further.
A faint broken sound escaped Reis’s chest before he kissed her once more, deeper this time, one hand tightening slightly at her waist like he needed the contact just to exist.
Tight heat built rapidly in Mirielle's stomach, befuddling her mind. Her breaths became soft pants. Her body flushed. Her uneven heartbeat began to race in its choppy rhythm.
"Reis." Her voice was suddenly desperate.
"Tell me,” he murmured softly between kisses.
Mirielle could barely think beneath the overwhelming heat dominating her body. It coiled tighter every time he touched her, every time he looked at her.
“I don’t know what’s happening,” she admitted shakily.
The confession pulled something unbearably tender across Reis’s face. “You’re alright," he murmured. Then he kissed her again. Slower this time. Deeply patient.
Mirielle responded with an aching whimper that seemed to pull a rough breath from his chest.
"I know," he murmured to her plea, his voice rough with affection. "I know."
He lifted her into his arms. Mirielle whined softly into his neck, her hands instinctively finding his shoulders.
Reis looked at her like she was undoing him completely.
"I'll take care of it," he promised into her hair.
Her legs straddled him as he moved to the bed. He set her down on a pile of soft pillows and clean sheets.
Reis's hands quickly found the private spot between her legs. He pushed in only for her to cry out as the relief she so desperately needed swept over her. Her body reacted by sending fast waves of pleasure through her core, melting her from the inside.
He started kissing her with ravenous hunger. Her breasts, her stomach. He licked a line down that beautiful spot below her navel. Then he did something Mirielle hadn't expected.
His mouth found the little nub between her legs. Mirielle's eyes shot open and flew to him.
"Reis!" she cried out.
Reis only watched her as he rubbed his tongue against her clit. He sucked and licked as his fingers pushed that spot inside her.
Mirielle grabbed the sheets and cried out. When her body arched against him, he grabbed her thigh with his free hand, locking her in place beneath his grip.
Mirielle blinked at the ceiling while her body tried to catch up. Her gaspy, desperate breaths couldn't contend with her rising heat.
Her core began to shudder from stimulation. Reis let out a long, satisfied hum into her, sending another wave of sensation against her body's soft trembles.
Reis watched her as she came apart beneath him. Her body clenched as waves of release crashed against her body. Reis kissed her middle deeply, praising her body for its response.
She let out a tiny whimper as the full weight of her embarrassment washed over her.
Unable to retreat from his hold, she covered her eyes with her wrist and turned her face away from him, as though hiding might somehow save her now. Her heavy breaths were nearly coming out in sobs.
Reis’s expression softened so deeply it almost looked wounded.
“Mirielle—”
He shifted above her carefully, one arm braced beside her while the other slid gently along her wrist. Before she could hide further, he bent and pressed a slow kiss against her jaw. Then Reis lightly caught her wrist and slowly pulled it away from her face.
Her silver eyes stared up at him, wide and trembling beneath damp lashes. Her cheeks had turned such a deep crimson she looked ready to perish from humiliation alone.
For a moment Reis simply looked at her, utterly undone.
“Please do not run from me,” he reminded her softly before pressing a kiss into her wrist.
Mirielle felt completely vulnerable below him. Her naked body juxtaposed to his fully clothed one.
"You make it hard," she whispered.
A small, crooked smile tugged at his lips.
"I know," he murmured. "But I would still like you to try."
*
Mirielle woke to a room dimly lit by a low fire.
For a few dreamy seconds she lay there listening to the crackling of embers and the distant sound of wind crashing against the walls outside.
Then she realized Reis was asleep. His breathing was deep and steady against her. She was curled into his chest. His heavy arm draped over her lower back, his face half-buried in her hair. The tension that usually strained his body had softened with exhaustion.
The smell of woodsmoke, pine, sweat and cold winter air clung faintly to his skin, warm and crisp all at once. The smell of him had become strangely comforting.
She hadn't left the room in four days. Through it all, Reis had not truly slept. He had been practicing tremendous restraint to prevent her exhaustion. She was sure he was hurting himself trying not to hurt her.
Every time she drifted awake, he had been somewhere else in the room fighting himself in silence.
She found him once in the middle of the night staring out the window, his hands braced on the sill like he needed it to anchor him, his head bowed.
Another time he had vanished from the room entirely while she slept, only returning later cold from the snow outside without even a cloak, frost melting slowly from his dark hair and through his clothes.
He had been restraining himself so fiercely it had driven him to exhaustion.
Mirielle’s eyes lowered to the marks scattered across his bare chest—thin scratches crossing rough skin, a fading bite near his shoulder she had left there accidentally. It left an ache in her chest.
She slowly reached her hand up to run along the scratch that ran down his collarbone.
Reis's reaction was immediate and fierce. He inhaled sharply. His grey eyes opened, sharp and instantly alert. For one terrifying second, pure instinct flashed across his face—the lethal awareness of a man who had survived too many battlefields. For one moment he looked ready for violence.
Mirielle startled. Reis's fingers instinctively tightened around her waist.
Then he saw her and the tension vanished painfully fast.
"Mirielle," he murmured hoarsely.
"I'm sorry," she said immediately. "I didn't mean to wake you."
His brow furrowed as the confusion left from sleep began to fade from him.
"Did I frighten you?"
She hesitated before answering. "No," she said slowly, "not really."
He studied her as if not quite believing her. She turned to look up at him. Firelight illuminated the exhaustion still painted on his face, his hair was disheveled from sleep. His sharp brutality dulled into something almost human.
Then her eyes drifted down to the scratch she had left on his neck. Reis noticed where her gaze rested.
"You're thinking too hard again."
Mirielle's attention snapped back to him. Her cheeks heated having been caught.
Reis saw it and sighed something tired. "Mirielle, no part of this hurts me."
Mirielle looked at him painfully. "You haven't been sleeping." Her voice was strained with concern.
A small smile tugged at his lips. "I sleep... occasionally."
"It's because of me."
That erased his smile completely and his face went cold. "You were feverish and in pain last time and it was because of me," he said in a low voice. "I will not do that to you again."
Mirielle felt something in her heart hurt. "You didn't hurt me."
Reis gave her a look. "You couldn't even drink on your own."
Heat flooded her face. "That's not the point."
"That's entirely the point."
Mirielle's attention drifted back to the scratch on his chest.
"You look worse than I do."
Reis glanced down briefly before looking back at her with a tired, crooked smile. "I seem to remember enjoying how I got those."
Her face turned bright pink and she buried her face in his chest. It pulled a low groan from Reis that might have been amusement.
Or suffering.
Probably both.
"You should go back to sleep," Mirielle said muffled into his chest.
"I am asleep."
"You're talking."
"So are you."
"That's different."
"It's absolutely not different." Mirielle could hear the smile in his voice.
Silence settled warmly over them. Mirielle became acutely aware of the slow rise and fall of Reis’s breathing beneath her cheek, the steady beat of his heart, the warmth of his body wrapped protectively around hers.
The scent of woodsmoke, sweat and pine surrounding her until it felt impossible to separate it from the feeling of safety itself.
Reis pulled her closer against his chest and buried his face into her hair again with a tired exhale.
"You feel safe now."
It wasn't a question.
Mirielle blinked into his chest as the realization set in. She did feel safe. She couldn't remember the last time she felt safe with anyone.
Slowly, she curled closer to him beneath the blankets.
"I think I do."