20. Sutton
Sutton
When we showed up to get Sophie, I gave Iris a quick rundown of what had happened this afternoon. She gave me and Asher a hug before she told me she was going out to bowl with her friends tonight. It almost felt like she was making sure I didn’t back out of going with Asher.
I’d held Sophie against my chest and hugged her extra tight, letting her happy babbling calm some of my anxiety.
Asher got Sophie ready while I changed into comfy clothes.
When I came into the living room, I saw him holding her and whispering something in her ear before he softly kissed her head.
A few tears sprang to my eyes while I grabbed a few extra things he had missed and then we were back in the car, the warm June air coming in through the windows.
“Where are we going?” I asked as we drove in the direction of Quinn’s place. I knew he had an apartment near the Knight Enterprises offices, so that was where I thought he’d be taking me.
“To my place,” he said as we turned onto a residential street.
“I thought you were downtown.” I frowned as he pulled into a driveway. We were walking distance to Quinn’s, maybe less than a block.
“Didn’t feel right anymore. Plus, I’ve spent a lot of years being next door to Knight. It felt weird being so far away.”
I smiled as he looked away and got out of the car.
Asher pushed me away when I went to grab Sophie, so instead I turned to look at the house.
It had a white brick facade that made it look inviting while the black window packages added some grandeur.
The front double doors were made of wood, the landscaping perfect around the front with a big lawn and bushes.
The house was set far enough back that the big windows couldn’t be seen from the road, offering a lot of privacy.
I followed him inside the house, which was even more spectacular. There was an archway from the entrance into the living room, with warm wood beams visible across the ceiling. The white walls and finishes were softened with cream furniture, wood accents, and plants.
“Wow. Was this recently renovated?”
“Yeah, Noah had a team working day and night to get it done fast.” He sounded odd but I kept wandering around the space.
The open kitchen was to our left, the wood beams continuing overhead and connecting the rooms. The counters were white marble, the lower cabinets wood, and the uppers a soft cream. The stove was in an arched alcove, covered in the same marble.
“What do you think?”
I looked back at him still standing in the foyer, holding Sophie’s carrier in one hand.
Why did he sound nervous?
“It’s beautiful, Ash.” I looked around in wonder, taking in the large couch and wood bookshelves on either side of the TV. It was a family home and one day he’d have one here with him. That thought made me want to crawl out of my skin.
I didn’t know how I would feel about that if I was still around, still his friend. Eventually our friendship would change—it would have to. Even though I hated the thought.
He nodded and then took off his shoes. “I moved in two weeks ago,” he commented as he put Sophie on the ground and started unbuckling her.
“You didn’t mention it.” I bit my lip, trying not to sound off. I’d been sharing a lot about myself, but he hadn’t even told me something as major as moving house and that was making me a little self-conscious.
He paused and looked up at me with a raised eyebrow. When I looked away, he cleared his throat, pulling my attention back to him.
“I wanted to show it to you before, and it was really hard not to tell you, but the baby proofer couldn’t come until earlier this week. I wanted you both here but I couldn’t do that until it was safe.”
My stupid eyes got watery again, and I nodded when he just stared at me. He narrowed his eyes a little but went back down to grab my daughter.
He passed Sophie to me and she started babbling as Asher walked down the hall.
I turned back to look at the large yard that backed onto the same ravine that Quinn and Knight’s place did.
He already had a table out there with ample seating and a heater so you could use it even in the winter.
It was magical out there, with string lights hanging above the lush green grass.
I would love to spend an evening enjoying it.
I turned at the sound of Asher coming back.
“What did you do?”
He set the pack and play on the ground, grabbed a bag out of it, and started pulling out toys. “I didn’t know when she would be here, but I wanted her to have everything she needs.” He shrugged it off like it was no big deal.
“Asher…”
“Just don’t say whatever it is you’re going to say.
I have more money than I know what to do with.
What I wanted was to make sure Soph was comfortable here so that you can come over whenever you want without having to think or plan.
You can show up and just be. I want you here, I want you both here, often.
I wanted to buy it so don’t say anything else.
” He had moved toward me during his speech and was now standing in front of me with his hand on his hip, glaring at me and daring me to argue.
“Thank you,” I replied quietly instead of the million arguments I had to explain why he shouldn’t have done this. He waited a moment with a raised eyebrow and then nodded his head.
“You feed Soph. I’m going to order us food.”
While we waited for the food, he gave me a tour of the house.
It had five bedrooms upstairs and three down.
He didn’t open any of the doors, just pointed them out as we went.
He did show me his room, though, asking me what color comforter and lamps he should get.
When I asked why he didn’t just get his interior designer to do it, like they’d done with the rest of the house, he just shrugged and said he didn’t want them in this space.
After that, between feeding Sophie and eating ourselves, the next two hours went by quickly and there wasn’t a single lull in our conversation.
I talked a lot but Asher was surprisingly chatty too.
I’d started noticing that although he still spoke in looks and grunts around others, when it was just me and Sophie, he opened up more.
Like right now, he was sitting on the floor, Sophie on a blanket in front of him with building block toys. He had just finished telling me about the newest company he was thinking of acquiring.
It was a funny contrast. My sweet, small daughter and beside her a giant man, tucked up as best he could, leaning on his side.
He was still wearing his button-up shirt from earlier, but his sleeves were rolled up.
His veiny arms were covered in tattoos, the ink on his chest visible too.
The tiny block he was holding looked minuscule in his thick hands.
He may grunt and grumble and his all-around size made him look menacing, but he was really just a giant softy. At least for us.
I had my legs tucked up under me as I watched them. As a comfortable silence settled between us, the weight and stress and fear of the day started taking over and with Sophie’s happy sounds the only noise, the pressure behind my eyes built.
Turning my head down, I looked at my lap in an attempt to hide the tears because I was afraid once they started, they weren’t going to stop.
But it was too late. Tears started running down my face.
“Sweetheart?”
His voice didn’t help.
I covered my eyes with one hand and waved the other, trying to tell him to drop it. I was worried if I spoke it wouldn’t make any sense. I felt him shift before he came to my side, wrapping both arms around me and pulling me into him.
“Let it out.” His voice was a gruff demand and so I gave in.
I wrapped my arms around him, buried my face in his chest, and cried. He didn’t say a word as his hand made soothing circles on my back.
I’d cried a lot since having Sophie, in moments of uncertainty and depression and loneliness. I’d never had someone there to hold me through it. His calm scent reminded me that he was here. Reminded me that I wasn’t alone.
After a few minutes, my tears slowed. I sniffled as I got myself back under control.
He bent down and kissed my head. I closed my eyes and breathed him in a few more times before opening my sore eyes and trying to pull back.
He seemed a little hesitant to let me go but he uncurled his arms, one hand locking on the back of my head instead.
“She’s been happily playing,” he answered before I could look over at Sophie to check on her. “She’s good.” His amber eyes pinned me in place and I relished the feel of his hands on me.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not.” He raised an eyebrow at me.
Letting out a puff of air, I relaxed a little. I was really tired now that I’d let those tears out. “I’m not.” I sent him a smile as his fingers tightened slightly.
“What can I do?” He had a serious look on his face, a deep furrow of his brows.
“You’re doing it,” I mumbled. “I’ve never had support like this before. I mean, of course from Iris, but…this feels different.”
I thought my words would soften him but instead a dark look passed through his eyes. He opened his mouth but Sophie’s little coo stopped whatever he was going to say.
“I’m going to say this out loud in case I need your help remembering.”
He gave me a look, waiting.
“There is nothing I can do about custody right now, there is no way for me to control it. Which means that I need to try and not worry.”
“I’ll remind you. We’ve got you, Sutton, both of you.”
His intense gaze was a lot, so I nodded and pushed myself off the couch, moving over to bend down beside Sophie.
“But Maya is good, right?” I looked up at him. He had twisted on the couch, both his arms resting on his legs, hands clasped.
“Don’t know, never heard of her. Which is fucking weird, so I’ll be questioning Will. But if he trusts her then so do I.” He gave a definitive nod.
“You’re going to question him? With what, a glare?”
My joke to lighten the mood worked because when I smiled, he shook his head and said, “You’re underestimating the effectiveness of my glares. Makes most men cave.”
“Right, but these men don’t seem too afraid of you.”
“You should ask in the group chat. Pretty sure they say they’re scared of me at least once a week.”
I was about to roll my eyes at him but Sophie’s cry pulled my attention. She was on the ground, rubbing her eyes. Honestly, she’d been doing better than I expected for this time of night. Iris had said she napped a little later than normal which had worked in my favor tonight.
“I should get her home.” Sophie reached out for me so I swiped her up off the floor, rested her on my hip, and gave her a kiss when she dropped her head into my shoulder.
“You can stay,” Asher offered as he pushed off the couch.
“I need to get her home for bathtime and I didn’t bring anything with me for that.” Before he could reply, I kept going. “Plus, a little routine will be good for us. If you want, I can call a car instead of having you—” I stopped when he sent me a look. “Can you drive us home?”
He gritted his teeth but didn’t say anything, instead giving a nod.
He helped me pack my stuff and then carried Sophie out to the car.
He got her settled, gave her a kiss, and then closed her door.
He then enveloped me in a hug, holding me tight against his chest for a moment, before he pulled away and ushered me into the car.
We didn’t talk on the drive back to my place, but he did pass me the cord without a word. I didn’t sing along this time but at least it kept me awake.
He rolled his eyes when I told him we could get inside on our own and instead helped me get Sophie and all her things back into the apartment.
As he turned to leave, his hands were in fists, almost like he wanted to reach out to me or was reluctant to go.
“Thanks for having us at your place, Ash.”
“Anytime, sweetheart. Lock the door.”
With that he left and headed back down the hallway. I did as he said and then went to focus on getting Sophie in bed.
My eyes still hurt from crying, and I was more than ready to call it a night. Even if I did feel a little lonely without Asher.