33. Asher
Asher
Ididn’t know when I stopped wanting quiet but somewhere along the line I did.
So, I was fucking annoyed for a few reasons.
For one, Sutton had insisted on spending the night at her place tonight.
She wanted some time with Iris, and despite my insistence that she could bring her to what I was beginning to think of as our house, she stayed strong.
And two, because of her and Sophie’s absence, my house felt quiet and hollow and I was sitting here feeling lonely at five o’clock.
I was staring at some of Sophie’s toys on the floor when my phone rang. I answered it quickly when I saw my girls’ faces light up my screen.
“Ready to give up and come sleep at home?” I tried to sound casual, like it was a joke. But I was really hoping she would say yes. I would get in my car now and go pick up my family.
Not being together was bullshit.
“Hi to you too.” I could hear the smile in her voice. She joked about it but she never seemed bothered by my gruff phone communication. If it did bother her, I would have worked on it.
I was so fucking gone for her and I didn’t even care.
I gave Knight some shit when he started acting this way but I might be even worse.
“What are you doing tomorrow?”
Guess we weren’t talking about her coming home tonight. My face dropped as I leaned back in my seat.
“Why?”
“Iris has a check-up tomorrow at three thirty with the cardiologist and I want to be there with her. I’ll have to leave work a little early which Quinn was fine with.
She’s getting her stitches out and they want to run a few tests and do blood work to make sure everything looks stable.
It’s going to take a few hours.” She sounded nervous, which she hadn’t been around me for at least a month now.
“Do you want me to drive you?”
“No, no, we’ll be fine.” She paused. I wished I could watch her face while she mulled over whatever it was that she was debating asking me.
“Sutton?” I pushed when she kept quiet.
“Well, I wanted to ask if you wanted to watch Soph for me while we’re at the appointment.
” It felt like my chest was going to explode from pride.
I knew this was a huge fucking deal for her, to trust me with what was most important.
I gripped the phone tighter. My brain was still processing when she started talking again.
“I know she’s busier now that she’s crawling and that you would have to leave work early to get her.
I don’t know if you had plans or meetings or anything so maybe you aren’t able to be home. So if you can’t or don’t—”
“Sweetheart,” I interrupted her spiral.
“Yeah?”
“I would love to watch her. Thank you for trusting me.” I was hoping she heard how much I meant it.
“Oh.” She paused again. I hated that we weren’t in front of each other right now, so I hit the Facetime button. She answered the call quickly and I could tell she was sitting on her bed, biting her lip. I let out a breath. Seeing her calmed me.
“Talk to me,” I demanded as I watched her.
“Are you sure?”
“There is nothing I would rather do.” I pinned my eyes on her so she could see how serious I was until she nodded and a small smile appeared on her face. Her shoulders dropped with relief. Like I’d ever fucking say no to taking care of Soph. If Sutton allowed it, she would be mine.
“Okay, well, I can pick her up from Iris and then drive her to your place,” she offered, at least looking at me now.
“Are you offering because you don’t want me driving in the car with her or because you don’t want me to be inconvenienced?”
Her eyes widened at my question. “I think you’re a better driver than me. I know she’d be safe in your car.” Which was what I thought she was going to say.
“Nothing about you or Sophie is ever an inconvenience to me. Got it?”
“Got it.”
I could see there were tears in her eyes but I really didn’t want to see her cry, especially when I couldn’t hold her.
“Why don’t I meet you at your apartment and I can grab her from Iris and take her to my place? You can come there after you’re done at the doctor’s.”
“Is this your way of getting us to stay at your place tomorrow night?”
I smirked at her. “Just a nice side effect of a good plan.”
She shook her head at me with an eye roll that held no real annoyance. “She’s busy with all her crawling.”
“Sweetheart, I’ve been spending a lot of time with her over the last month.
I can handle her.” I was trying to hide how excited I was, not only that she was trusting me with this, but that I would get some uninterrupted time with Sophie.
I loved getting to be with her; time apart from her made me surlier than normal and that was a high bar.
“I know you can.” She let out a sigh. I could tell she was tired.
“Thanks for asking me.”
“I trust you with her, Ash. I know she’s safe with you.”
“Always,” I replied seriously. We shared an intense look before her eyes darted to the door and then back to me.
“I should go. Iris made me dinner.”
“I’m jealous,” I grumbled. I didn’t bother clarifying that it wasn’t the food, it was the time spent with them. Making dinner beside her, eating together, cleaning up Sophie’s mess, helping with bathtime, and making sure Sutton had everything she needed. They’d become my favorite part of every day.
“You’ll survive,” she laughed as she started to stand up from the bed.
Glad she was so confident. I didn’t exactly believe it.
“I miss you both,” I told her before she could hang up.
She paused for a moment before smiling brightly at me. “We both miss you too.”
With that she blew me a kiss and hung up the call. I was so fucking excited for tomorrow.
Sophie and I were sitting on the floor playing with blocks. She and I stacked them up and then she would decide it was time to start over and knock them all down. She laughed manically when she did it.
I was obsessed with the sound. I would play this game with her forever if she wanted.
Earlier I had worked on tiring her out. She’d crawl as fast as she could around the living room, and eventually I would catch up to her and scoop her off the ground until she screamed in delight.
I’d also encouraged her as she kept pulling herself up by the couch, bouncing up and down and squealing.
I was having the best day I’d had in a long time. It would only have been better if her mum was with us.
Sutton had texted that everything was fine but the doctors were running behind so she would be later than she thought.
I was able to feed Sophie some soft foods that Sutton usually fed her.
I had a few bags of milk in my freezer just in case but I’d only need them if Sutton wasn’t home by her bedtime.
I hadn’t eaten though; I was waiting on Sutton.
Another stack of blocks and another laugh from Sophie as she pushed them over, her wide hazel eyes full of excitement. They looked just like her mum’s. When I made a face at her she started clapping and it was the most joyous sound.
“When are you going to say your first word, sunshine?” I asked as the blocks continued. “According to the doctor I called, it’s normally around twelve months, so any day would work, baby girl. As long as your mama is around to hear it.”
She made a squealing sound, threw down the block she was holding, and crawled over to me. I grabbed her and placed her in my lap. She let out a sigh and rested her head on my chest. Her hand reached for my scruff.
“Are you tired?” I asked as I pressed a kiss to her head as she grumbled back.
I laughed softly. “I hope you aren’t learning my grumpy ways.
” Her hand continued to rub my face. “You can’t do that because you need to keep being my sunshine.
” Another kiss to her head. “I promise that I’ll hurt anyone who tries to take that from you. I’ll always be in your corner.”
“I love you.” Sutton’s soft voice floated to me, breaking the quiet moment.
I quickly stood up with Sophie cradled against my chest. She was standing in the doorway to the laundry room, a hand on her heart and a softness in her face.
I had no idea when she’d come in; I was too wrapped up in Sophie to hear her.
I blinked a few times, hoping I didn’t mishear her or that she wasn’t talking to Soph.
“Say that again, sweetheart,” I demanded, holding my breath as I waited.
“I love you,” she said with a smile on her lips.
I took a step toward her and opened my mouth but she held up a hand to stop me.
She took a breath, and I knew that I would want to hear what came next.
“I love how you are with my daughter. I love how you treat me. I love your work ethic. I love that you have this quiet, sullen nature and everything makes you scowl, but you would do anything for the people in your life. I love the family you chose for yourself and how they’ve taken us both in.
I love every single thing about you, Asher, and I’m sorry I’ve waited so long to tell you. ”
This whole time I’d been going slow, letting her take things at her own pace because she had a lot more on her plate. I’d been in love with her for a while and I knew I would tell her eventually but I never thought she would say it first.
I fell in love with her in the quiet moments, in the nights of low conversation on her couch. In watching her take a job she had no idea how to do and excel at it. In the peaceful moments, holding her precious daughter and watching her grow and experience the world.
I shifted Sophie to my hip as I made my way toward her. I used my free hand to tangle it in her hair and pull her mouth to mine. She wrapped an arm around my waist as I deepened the kiss, our tongues tangling, both of us trying to convey our emotions in a way words never could.
She finally pulled back, panting. I rested my forehead on hers, both of us breathing each other in.
“Thank fuck,” I muttered and it got a bright smile from her. “I’ve loved you for a long time. I was just waiting for you to catch up.”
“You were so confident?”
I shrugged. “It didn’t matter. Whether it took a year or ten, I was willing to wait until you were ready for me, Sutton.
When I first saw you, something about you caught my attention and I figured once I solved the puzzle I would feel better.
But you’ve weaved yourself into every fiber of my being.
Every second with you and Sophie in my life has brought me so much good, a type of good I didn’t know I deserved or even expected to experience.
You showed me something I didn’t even know I needed.
“Loving you and Sophie is like walking around with parts of my heart outside of my body and while that’s fucking terrifying, I never want it to be any other way. I want to grow old with you by my side.”
“Damn it, Grizzly. I’m so thankful you waited for me to catch up.” She pressed another quick kiss to my lips, tears in her eyes. “You say the sweetest things.”
“Don’t tell anyone.” When I said it this time I couldn’t help but smirk. Sophie squeaked and waved at her mum, making no move to leave me.
“How was she?” Sutton moved in closer against my chest and kissed her daughter’s nose. I had both of my girls safe in my arms and I’d never felt more content.
“Perfect, just like always.” I looked down at both of them.
Over the next hour we did Sophie’s bedtime routine.
We gave her a bath, got her a bottle, read her books, and Sutton rocked her until she was mostly asleep.
I watched from the doorway as Sutton got her down, grabbed the monitor, and tiptoed out of the room, shooing me out of the hallway and back into the kitchen.
“I can clean this up.” Sutton looked at the toys on the floor. I shot her a look, moving toward her and putting my hands on her hips. “Ash…you—”
I cut off her reply with a kiss, deepening it as I pulled her in closer.
I set the pace, not allowing her access until I was ready, moving so her legs met the back of the couch.
Once she had some support I opened my mouth, her tongue moving in greedily, sliding against mine, her hands grabbing fistfuls of my shirt at the back.
“I’m fucking aching for you, baby,” I pulled away long enough to say as I moved to her ear, giving her a little nip before moving down to her neck. I felt her responsive hum down to my fucking core.
“I’ve been turned on since we last fucked.”
I smirked against her neck. She hardly swore, but it seemed she saved it for the bedroom. We’d had a quick fuck just yesterday while Iris took Sophie to the park but it seemed like she couldn’t get enough of me either.
I pulled back. “I was waiting to eat with you. How hungry are you?”
“I can wait.” Her cheeks were flushed.
My lips twitched as I pulled my shirt over my head before doing the same with hers.
Another fucking pink bra.
“Well, I’m starving.” I dropped to my knees in front of her, pulling her pants down to see a wet spot on her pink underwear.
Fuck, I love this woman.