43. Asher
Asher
It was late. Sutton and Sophie were both asleep in my bed but I hadn’t been able to sleep.
I’d spent the day trying to distract Sutton.
After Iris left with a promise to be here by nine tomorrow, we went for a walk with Thor.
Then we went for a car ride and got ice cream, stopped at a farmers market and picked up stuff so we could make a nice meal, and then watched a few more episodes of Schitt’s Creek.
Sophie had fallen asleep on my chest. I wasn’t eager to move her and Sutton had said we could get her back into a routine tomorrow.
I’d done a good job, but meanwhile my mind was a mess. The anger was still simmering under the surface every time I saw a bruise on Sutton. I could tell she was stressed but other than being there for her, I knew there wasn’t much I could do. Not that I was very good with words anyway.
After an hour of struggling in bed, I’d slipped out and was now sitting in my office. I should have gone to my home gym and tried to work it out and clear my mind but I didn’t.
My phone went off and I was surprised to find a direct text from Knight. None of us hardly messaged outside of the group text.
Knight
Are you awake?
Me
It’s ten pm.
Knight
You’re old.
Me
We’re the same age asshole.
Knight
You’re eight months older. Might as well be a lifetime.
Me
I liked you better when you weren’t so upbeat.
It’s disturbing. And annoying.
Knight
I’m on my way. Disarm your security system.
Less than five minutes later I was at my door letting Knight in. He toed off his shoes as he handed me the case of beer he’d brought and then headed into my living room.
He let out a chuckle as he looked around at the toys. My home looked nothing like it did months ago and I wouldn’t have it any other way. I cracked open the beers and handed him one.
“What are you doing here?” I asked as I settled on one of the chairs.
“Quinn said you looked extra stressed when she picked up Thor but that you were hiding it every time Sutton looked at you. She threatened me with no sex if I didn’t come check on you. And she would have followed through.”
“So you’re here so you can have sex with your fiancée?”
“No, jackass, I’m here because I care about you, but Quinn just happened to be the one who noticed that you weren’t doing well.”
“Going sappy on me there, Knight.”
He shot me a look and took a pull from his beer. “How are you handling everything?” It was my turn to send him a look as he nodded. “Come on, Ash, Quinn’s helped me realize that talking things out is important.”
“I’m just stressed.”
“Caring about someone is stressful.”
I rubbed a hand over my head and then pushed up and started pacing.
I couldn’t sit still. “It’s like I’m walking around with my heart outside my body.
They both have half. And I can try as hard as I can but something could still happen to them.
I never expected this. I didn’t think I would ever let someone in like this.
I’m not sure how the fuck I’m supposed to handle it. ”
“Letting myself love Quinn was the hardest thing I’ve done,” Knight said thoughtfully as he watched me walk back and forth in front of him. “Do you remember what you told me when I almost fucked it up?”
“I’m not going to fuck it up. I’m not going anywhere, but I just don’t know what to do with all these—” I moved my hand in circles over my chest.
“Those are feelings, Ash.” I shot Knight a death glare. He looked way too happy about this. “Do you remember what you told me?”
“To stop being a jackass,” I muttered and when he didn’t reply I let out a sigh and turned to face him.
“You said that she had a light and fire that matched mine, that Quinn matched me perfectly. Watching you with Sutton,” he shook his head with a smile, “it’s like you found the missing piece of yourself.
She isn’t fazed by your surliness, although it’s admittedly less around her.
She seems to find it charming. You’ve never particularly cared for kids but you haven’t been able to stop caring for Soph since the moment you met her.
She is calm and caring. She seems to be exactly what you need. ”
“She’s the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”
“I won’t tell Noah you said that,” he chuckled.
“But this anger, Knight.” I shook my head. “I don’t know what to do with it. How it won’t eat me alive.”
“You keep showing up for her, keep being the calm man that has her back.” He stood up and patted me on the shoulder.
“And then we do what we need to do. With Quinn’s ex, we had him fired, drove him out of town, and threatened him with financial ruin if he even thought about Quinn again.
We take care of our family, Ash. We’ll help you take care of both of them.
” Just as he got to the door, he looked back at me.
“Jaxson is going to be here early tomorrow so you guys can do a boxing session downstairs before you have to be at court. Don’t need you punching someone out in a courtroom. ”
With those parting words, he walked out of my house, leaving me feeling calmer with his words in my head.
I locked up the house and then went to stand in the doorway of my room. Sophie was tucked against Sutton’s side, both of them breathing deeply. I wasn’t sure how long I stood there watching them, knowing that without a doubt, I loved them with every piece of myself.
Shielding them from the world was my job, but I had big enough shoulders to take the weight.
Knight was right—Jaxson got to my place just after six this morning. I slipped out of bed, dragging myself away from Sutton and Sophie, and went to let him in.
We spent an hour and a half in my gym. Neither of us really said much. Jaxson worked out next to me and then put the gloves on so I could throw some warm-up combos before I moved to the bag.
I felt better afterward and showered and changed just in time for the rest of the cavalry to arrive. Knight, Quinn, and Thor were here first with coffees, donuts, and a fruit tray. Oli and Will arrived next, followed by Noah who had Iris and Jane with him.
Sutton had just been waking up when I’d gotten out of the shower. I told her that I thought we would have company this morning and she’d nodded, looking a little lost. I’d given her a kiss and told her to take her time with Soph while I dealt with everyone else.
“There’s too many of us,” Noah said as he passed Jane a coffee and then sat on the arm of her chair.
“And you go to court often?” Oli shot him a look while shaking his head and pushing his glasses up his nose.
“I just think Jaxson should stay.”
“Fuck no.” Jaxson narrowed his eyes at Noah.
“Sorry, Jane and Iris.” He looked over at them sheepishly.
They both just shook their heads while the arguing continued.
Noah thought all of us at the courthouse were too many people for Sutton, and that someone should stay with Sophie.
Iris and Jane were both offended that he thought they couldn’t handle her themselves and then the back and forth had started.
I just rubbed the bridge of my nose, watching the stairs.
“We have the security system on the house and Dane and Wade are meeting us there. Everything is going to be fine,” Oli assured everyone.
“We could play rock-paper-scissors,” Noah suggested.
“No.” Quinn shot him a look from her spot on Knight’s lap.
I tuned them out when Sutton appeared, coming into the living room. She pulled to a stop as she looked around, taking in all the men here in their suits, Quinn wearing some sort of pants and a jacket, everyone looking sharp for court.
Sutton was wearing a beautiful sweater dress with a matching cardigan. Her hair was loose and curled and the tension was visible in her shoulders.
This woman was staggeringly beautiful. Every time I looked at her, she took my breath away and I wanted to fall to my knees and thank her for being with me, for giving me a chance.
Sophie was wearing little jeans that had daisies on them with a pink T-shirt. She looked so adorable. When she saw me, she started babbling, clapping her hands and reaching for me. When I got close, Sutton passed her over. As I settled her on my hip, Sutton rested her hand on my arm.
“What’s everyone doing here?” she asked, looking around the room.
“I just think we need to find a fair way.” Noah glanced at Quinn.
“How about we ask the actual lawyer?” With Quinn’s words, everyone looked over at Will who had been looking down at his phone, reading something. “Will,” Quinn called out when he didn’t look up.
“Sorry.” He looked up, pocketing his phone. “I tuned everyone out when I heard Noah starting on the rock-paper-scissors.”
“You’re all so mean to me.” Noah pouted, crossing his arms over his chest.
“It’s okay, honey, I think you’ll survive.” Jane reached up and patted his shoulder as a few of us snickered at him.
“What were you asking?” Will focused back on Quinn.
“Are there too many of us for the courtroom? Because I’m not sure we can settle who stays and who goes without a million rounds of rock-paper-scissors and I doubt we have time for that.”
“You all want to come?” When Sutton spoke up, everyone looked over at her, likely not realizing she’d come in.
“That little face is just too much.” Jane pushed up from her seat and came toward me.
“Don’t you start with me, Asher, I have to cross the ocean to see her—you get her all the time.
” She shot me a look as she held out her hands.
Sophie had clearly woken up in a good mood or was getting used to her family as she reached out for Jane and started talking to her.
“You make it seem like you have to be on a boat for weeks,” I grumbled as I looped my arm over Sutton, pulling her into me.
Quinn stood up and came toward us too, grabbing Sutton’s hand. “We are here to support you. We thought it might be nice for you to have us all there. To have your family supporting you. But if it’s too much you just tell us and we can—”