44. Every Scar
Every Scar
The bedroom was quiet.No radios.No hidden phones vibrating on nightstands.
No weapon tucked beneath Chris’s pillow.No security detail outside the door.
No Mateo.No Diego.No Roman.Just rain tapping softly against the windows and Chris lying beside Camila beneath tangled sheets.His shirt was somewhere on the floor.
Hers wasn’t far from it.Camila rested against his chest, one leg tangled with his, listening to the slow rhythm of his heartbeat beneath her ear.Chris’s fingers drifted lazily through her hair.For once, neither of them was in a hurry.They’d spent so much of their relationship stealing moments.Five minutes in a parked SUV.A kiss in a hallway before Mateo appeared.A locked bedroom door.A hotel room they shouldn’t have shared.
Two a.m. in a kitchen.A bathtub.His apartment.Her room at the mansion.Always listening.Always watching.Always knowing someone could interrupt them.Tonight, nobody was coming.Camila lifted her head.Chris looked down.“What?”
“Nothing.”
“That look isn’t nothing.”
“What look?”
“The one where you’re about to interrogate me.”She smiled.“You’re the FBI agent.”
“Exactly. I recognize interrogation techniques.”Camila shifted until she was lying partly over him.Chris’s hand automatically settled at her waist.Her fingers moved across his chest.
Then stopped.A small round scar.She’d touched it before.The morning after their first night together.She remembered exactly what he’d said.Job went bad.What job?Security.
A lie.Camila traced the edge of it.Chris went still.She looked at him.“Truth.”His expression changed.“What?”
“This one.”Her fingertip rested beside the scar.“Truth.”Chris looked down.For a second, she wondered if habit would take over.Deflect.Joke.Invent something.But Roman was gone.
Chris looked back at her.“Phoenix.”Camila waited.“Undercover operation six years ago.”
His hand stopped moving through her hair.“I’d been inside for almost four months.”
“Doing what?”
“Gun-running investigation. Organized crime group moving stolen weapons through Arizona and Nevada.”Camila’s eyes dropped toward the scar.“What happened?”
“My cover got compromised.”Her fingers stopped.“How?”
“Someone talked.”
“Someone in the FBI?”
“No. Confidential informant got scared after he was picked up on another charge. Thought giving them my name might save him.”
“Did it?”Chris shook his head.“No.”Camila swallowed.“What happened to you?”
“We were supposed to meet at a warehouse.”
“Of course it was a warehouse.”Chris smiled faintly.“Occupational hazard.”She didn’t smile.“Chris.”
“Right.”He took a breath.“I walked in. Everything looked normal.”His eyes shifted toward the ceiling.“Then I noticed one guy watching my hands.”Camila understood immediately.
“He knew.”
“Yeah.”
“How quickly?”
“Not quickly enough.”Chris touched the scar.“First round hit here.”Camila’s chest tightened.
“You were shot.”
“Yeah.”
“You make that sound incredibly casual.”
“I’ve had time to process it.”
“I haven’t.”That made him look at her.Camila’s eyes were shining.Chris reached up and touched her cheek.“I’m here.”
“I know.”She leaned down.Pressed a soft kiss against the scar.Chris closed his eyes.
When she lifted her head, she moved her hand lower.Another scar.She’d found this one that same morning.Her fingers rested against it.“And this?”Chris sighed.“Same operation.”
“Same person?”
“No.”
“What happened?”
“Trying to get out.”
“After you’d already been shot?”
“Yeah.”
“You were still fighting?”
“I was trying not to die.”Camila frowned.“I don’t like Phoenix.”Chris laughed quietly.
“Neither do I.”She traced the second scar.“Where were the other agents?”
“Moving in.”
“But?”
“My comms had been compromised.”
“You were alone.”
“For a few minutes.”
“How many?”Chris hesitated.Her eyes narrowed.“Truth.”
“Twelve.”Camila stared.“You were shot and alone for twelve minutes?”
“Yes.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“That’s pretty much what I thought.”She looked at him differently now.Not at Chris Roman.Not even at the confident FBI agent she’d watched strap on body armor before the raid.At the man underneath.The one who’d survived long before she’d ever known him.
Her fingers found a thin scar near his ribs.“This?”
“Knife.”Camila’s eyes widened.“Phoenix?”
“No. Chicago.”
“You’ve been stabbed?”
“Once.”
“Once?”Chris shrugged.“I’m counting that as good.”
“I’m not.”He smiled.Camila didn’t.“Truth.”His smile faded.“Undercover drug operation. Guy thought I’d stolen from him.”
“Had you?”
“Technically?”
“Chris.”
“No.”She stared.“Why did you say technically?”
“Because the Bureau had seized his shipment and I knew about it.”
“So technically you did.”
“Government did.”
“Which you are part of.”
“Semantics.”Camila rolled her eyes.“You are impossible.”
“I’ve been told.”Her fingers moved again.Another faint mark near his shoulder.“That?”
“Training.”
“What kind?”
“Close-quarters tactical course.”
“That’s the boring one?”
“Compared to being shot? Yeah.”She kissed that one too.Chris’s breathing changed.
Camila noticed.Her mouth curved slightly.“What?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
“Former liar.”She smiled.“Good correction.”Her fingers traveled slowly across his chest.
Not searching for wounds anymore.Learning him.The real him.Chris watched her.
“You don’t have to do this.”
“I want to.”
“Why?”
“Because the first time I saw these, you lied to me.”His expression tightened.“I know.”
“And every time after that, I wondered.”She touched the first bullet scar again.“Now I don’t have to wonder.”Chris nodded.“No.”
“Anything I ask?”
“Anything.”Camila studied him.“You might regret that.”
“Probably.”She shifted closer.“The driving?”Chris smiled.“FBI tactical training.”
“How much tactical training?”
“Years.”
“The pursuit driving?”
“Yes.”
“High-speed vehicle control?”
“Yes.”
“Defensive driving?”
“Yes.”
“Offensive?”Chris hesitated.Camila pointed at him.“Truth.”
“Yes.”She laughed.“I knew it.”
“How?”
“Nobody drives like that because they spent weekends street racing.”
“You believed it initially.”
“For about five minutes.”
“Months.”
“Five minutes emotionally.”Chris laughed.Camila ran her finger down his chest.“The gun under the pillow?”His smile disappeared.“Years undercover.”
“Because of Phoenix?”
“Partly.”
“Were you afraid someone would come after you?”
“At first.”
“And later?”
“Habit.”She remembered reaching beneath his pillow.Cold metal.Then Chris grabbing her wrist before he’d even fully opened his eyes.“You scared the hell out of me.”
“I know.”
“You weren’t asleep.”
“I was.”
“No.”
“I was.”
“Chris, I touched the gun and you caught my wrist in half a second.”He looked at her.
“That was asleep for me.”Camila stared.“That is deeply concerning.”
“I’m better now.”She glanced toward the pillows.“No gun.”
“No gun.”
“Where is it?”
“Safe.”She smiled.“Progress.”Chris pulled her closer.“Therapy.”
“I’m proud of you.”Something softened in his face.“Thanks.”
Camila was quiet for a moment.“The nightmare?”Chris knew immediately which one.
“Phoenix.”She nodded.“What were you dreaming?”His jaw tightened.“You don’t have to”
“You asked for truth.”She waited.Chris stared at the ceiling.“I was back inside the warehouse.”Camila’s teasing disappeared.“I couldn’t get out.”His voice became quieter.
“I could hear the tactical team coming, but every time I got toward the exit, it moved farther away.”Camila’s hand found his.“And when I woke you?”
“I didn’t know where I was.”
“That’s why you grabbed me.”
“Yes.”
“You thought I was one of them.”
“For about half a second.”Camila intertwined their fingers.“Then?”
“I saw you.”
“And?”Chris looked at her.“I knew I was safe.”Her eyes filled.She lowered her forehead against his chest.For a while, neither spoke.Rain filled the silence.Chris kissed the top of her head.Eventually Camila whispered:“Sloan.”He groaned.“What about her?”
“That phone call.”
“She was reminding me I’d missed check-in.”
“You really weren’t sleeping with her?”Chris lifted his head.“Camila.”She started laughing.“I’m kidding.”
“That’s disturbing.”
“You should’ve seen your face.”
“Sloan would probably shoot me.”
“Good.”Chris raised an eyebrow.Camila smiled sweetly.“Next question.”
“Oh, fantastic.”
“The garage.”He knew where this was going.“The first time you saw Mateo?”
“Assessment.”
“Meaning?”
“I was reading him.”
“Threat level?”
“Everything. Body language. security. Who stood closest to him. Who deferred to him.”
“And Diego?”
“Didn’t trust him.”
“Immediately?”
“Almost.”Camila smiled.“And me?”Chris went quiet.She lifted her head.“The first time you saw me?”A smile slowly appeared on his face.“That part was exactly what it looked like.”Camila’s heart fluttered.“What was it?”
“You really need me to say it?”
“Yes.”
“You know.”
“I want to hear you say it.”Chris sighed dramatically.She smacked his chest.
“Walker.”
“Okay.”His expression softened.“You walked into the garage.”Camila waited.
“You were arguing with somebody on your phone.”
“I was not.”
“You absolutely were.”
“Who?”
“I have no idea. I stopped listening.”
“Why?”Chris smiled.“Because I thought you were the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.”Camila went quiet.Chris continued.“And then you looked at me.”
“Something interesting?”
“Yeah.”She smiled.“And you said—”
“Not anymore.”Camila slapped his chest.“You were such an asshole.”
“I was undercover.”
“That wasn’t undercover. That was flirting.”
“Worked.”
“Barely.”
“You’re in my bed carrying my baby.”Camila’s mouth dropped open.Chris grinned.
“I’d call that successful.”
“You are unbelievable.”She tried moving away.Chris caught her around the waist.
“Nope.”
“Let me go.”
“Never.”She laughed as he pulled her back against him.“Chris!”
“What?”
“I hate you.”
“No, you don’t.”
“No.”Her laughter faded.She looked at him.“I really don’t.”Chris brushed hair away from her face.Camila’s fingers touched his jaw.“One more.”
“Go.”
“The first kiss.”His expression changed.“What about it?”
“When you stopped me.”He remembered the SUV.Camila on his lap.Her hands against him.His entire cover nearly disappearing because one woman had kissed him.“You said it couldn’t happen.”
“I know.”
“Why?”
“Because Mercer had explicitly told me not to get involved with you.”Camila’s eyebrows rose.“Before you even met me?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“You were Mateo’s sister.”
“And?”
“Civilian.”
“And?”Chris sighed.“You weren’t leverage. You weren’t an asset. You weren’t part of the investigation.”Camila studied him.“So when you kissed me…”
“I broke just about every personal boundary I’d set for the operation.”
“Did you regret it?”Chris didn’t hesitate.“No.”
“Not even afterward?”
“I regretted putting you at risk.”
“That wasn’t my question.”
“No.”He touched her face.“I never regretted you.”Camila kissed him.Slowly.
No desperation.No fear of footsteps outside the door.No possibility of Mateo discovering them.No FBI phone about to interrupt.Chris’s hand moved along her back and drew her closer.Camila smiled against his mouth.When they separated, her forehead rested against his.“No more questions?”
“Oh, I have hundreds.”Chris groaned.“But not tonight.”
“Thank God.”She kissed his jaw.Then the scar near his shoulder.Another.The first bullet wound.The second.Not because she wanted to erase them.She couldn’t.They belonged to him.But now she knew their stories.Chris’s fingers slipped through her hair as she came back to him.“Camila.”
“Hmm?”
“You know what the strangest part is?”
“What?”
“You know everything now.”She smiled.“Scared?”
“A little.”
“Why?”
“Because I’ve spent most of my adult life keeping parts of myself separated.”Walker.
Agent.Undercover.Roman.Secrets inside secrets.“And now?” she asked.“Now you know all of it.”Camila moved over him, her hair falling around them.“Good.”Chris looked up at her.“Good?”
“Yes.”She kissed him again.This time deeper.Chris’s hands settled at her waist, careful with her even though she kept reminding him she wasn’t made of glass.The kiss grew warmer.Slower.There was no adrenaline behind it.No danger.No desperate need to steal something before it disappeared.Just intimacy.Trust.Camila’s fingers moved across his skin, over the scars she’d finally been given the truth about.Chris pulled back just enough to look at her.
“You okay?”She smiled.“Completely.”He kissed her again.The rest belonged only to them.Later, they lay tangled beneath the sheets.Camila’s head rested over Chris’s heart.His hand rested protectively against her stomach.Rain continued outside.She traced the first scar one final time. “Phoenix.”
“Yeah.”The second.“Phoenix.”
“Yeah.”The thin one.“Chicago.”
“Yep.”She touched his chest.“Chris Walker.”He smiled.“Unfortunately.”Camila lifted herself enough to kiss him.“No.”She settled back against him.“Fortunately.”
Chris’s arm tightened around her.For months, their relationship had been built around questions.Who are you?Where did you learn to drive like that?Who shot you?
Why do you sleep with a gun?What are you hiding?Tonight, every question finally had an answer.Every scar had a story.Every lie had been stripped away.And when Camila fell asleep against him, there was no Chris Roman between them anymore.Only Chris Walker.
For the first time—there were no lies left.