Chapter 26 #2
My life since Leroy had been guided by fear. It had drowned out every other emotion, every other thought. Fear had dictated every decision I made. Every question I had.
Should I answer the door?
Was that him calling me?
Is that his car?
Is that him in the grocery store?
Was that a coincidence?
Is that him behind me?
It became easier to stay home. Safer to say no.
So I stopped living. I stopped meeting friends after work.
I said no to dates. I moved apartments. I slept with a nightlight and a gun I was too afraid to use.
And I showed up half-heartedly to self-defense lessons because, somewhere deep down, the thought of using those skills one day forced me to crawl out of this safety net I’d created around myself.
Precaution had given me the illusion of control. But an illusion was all it was.
I’d given Leroy all the power.
And that glimmer of rage I felt from the other night began to flare once more.
Tate must have seen it too. He helped me put my gloves back on and motioned me toward him.
“Pretend I’m Leroy. Think of all those times he thought he had the right to watch you.”
I attempted the jab/power combo. He blocked both easily.
I stepped back, deflated slightly.
“That was good form,” Tate said, nodding toward me. “Just tighten your stomach and go harder.”
I threw another punch, this time faster. He still blocked it, but he had to work for it.
“Good,” he said. “Think of all the times you had to move because of him.”
Another punch. This time was stronger.
“Think of all the times you felt violated by him.”
We went on like this for some time, Tate yelling out more things Leroy had done and me throwing a jab in response. The longer we worked, the more confident I grew. I’d lost a lot because of Leroy—my peace of mind, my independence. He’d stolen so much from me.
My eyes were on Tate as I readied my stance once more.
I moved like I was going left. To my surprise, Tate followed.
I abruptly switched and went right. When he wasn’t directly there to block me, I shot off a right punch, hitting him on the shoulder.
I stood there, slightly stunned. It hadn’t been a great punch, but it had been something I could use for bragging rights later.
He looked down at the spot on his shoulder and grinned proudly. “You do that again and I’ll let you kiss it better later.”
There was this look of fire and relief and…something else I couldn’t define in his eyes. That was when I knew. It hit me like a freight train.
I was in love with him.
My temporary husband.
The one willing to fight all my battles, but also the one who pushed me to have confidence in myself.
The one who’d grown up teasing and protecting me.
Who was selfless and endearing and funny and all the things a good man should be.
We’d certainly danced around a lot of emotions since the tying of our hasty knot.
I could guess at his feelings, but I could never be sure.
He was excellent under cover. But as long as Leroy was out there, annulment was still the plan.
“Let’s go, Walker,” he said, smirking at me from under his baseball hat.
All mushy things aside, the power of Tate Walker’s teasing smile and the way he put all other men wearing baseball hats to shame was not something easily brushed aside.
“Hit me,” he said.
My punch was sharp and fast and took Tate and his chest by surprise. The move had been surprisingly…good. I knew it, and Tate knew it.
“That’s two kisses.” I grinned cheekily at him. “If you want to keep your focus you’re so concerned about, you’d better try harder.”
“Not bad, Rocky. Do it again.”
I complied, my punches getting harder and faster each time. For a surprise, I threw in a kick, which only made him grab my leg and hold it hostage.
“Don’t kick,” he said. “You’re just making it easy for an attacker to get you off balance.”
“I was going for a surprise attack.”
“How’d that work out for you?”
“You tell me.”
At my words, our gazes clung for a weighted breath. Keeping a hold on my ankle, he pulled me closer. I went willingly, pulling off my gloves in order to clutch his chest for support.
He let go of my leg, his fingers lightly trailing down my ankle as it dropped from his grip.
I was waiting for him to push me away, even braced myself for it, but instead, his arms tightened around my waist. He pulled me closer instead of away, and that was all the encouragement I needed.
Today was a day for bravery. Raising myself on my tiptoes, I kissed him.
I expected him to pull away. The line he’d drawn between us a few nights ago had been bold and strict and came from a place inside where he was also ruled by fear. But he didn’t pull away.
Instead, he took charge, his mouth hungry on mine.
His hands roamed across my back before eventually losing themselves in my hair.
Eventually, they found my hips, lifting me while my legs curled around his waist. I melted into the strength of his embrace and the warm heat of his mouth.
I forgot all about Leroy. I didn’t think about moving or annulments. I only acted and reacted.
My hand roamed to his cheek, loving the feel of the rough stubble of his skin against the softness of my fingers. His mouth moved against mine in ways that completely disarmed me.
After a while, he pulled back, setting me gently down on the ground, though he kept his arms around me. “You better not use that trick with just anyone. Someone might get the wrong idea.” He tilted my chin with a finger, forcing my gaze upward. “I might get the wrong idea.”
I cleared my throat but still found it uneven when I spoke. “Can’t a girl just kiss her temporary husband when she feels like it?”
His eyes narrowed. “You’re not very good at keeping things professional, Olivia.”
“Says the guy still holding me.”
“I’m terrified you’re going to punch me if I let you go.”
I huffed out a laugh. That had been my exact plan.
“I could feel you coming a mile away. Your bull-crap element of surprise needs some work.”
We both stilled. I beamed.
“Did you just say bull crap?” I asked incredulously.
An embarrassed grin crossed his face. “I meant bull—”
I pressed my hand against his mouth. “This is a lovely moment. And I think we need to stand here for just a minute and really appreciate—”
I squealed as he picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, walking us back to the tractor.
Yes.
There was still so much I didn’t know. So much I couldn’t say. So much I hoped for. I wasn’t sure how much of this and us was Tate’s job. I didn’t know if I’d still be a married woman in a week. But I wasn’t going to live in fear anymore. I wasn’t going to hide.
I had a lot to fight for.
A lot to be angry about.
And the potential of losing Tate Walker topped the list.