Chapter 5
Valentina
After retrieving Enzo’s phone and placing it on a table right outside the guestroom, I stepped out of my townhouse.
Once again forgoing my chauffeur, I chose one of my luxury sedans and drove down to the bridal boutique myself.
A wedding dress fitting felt way too personal for me to rely on servants or staff.
Besides, the fewer people who might see the dress before the big day, the better.
When I arrived at the bridal boutique, one of the sales associates led me to a large VIP fitting room. The fitting room was elegant, complete with full-length mirrors, plush chairs, and ample lighting. Everything to make a bride feel comfortable.
My mom arrived a minute after me, and the moment she spotted me, she hurried over to embrace me tightly. “I haven’t seen you in so long. How I’ve missed you.”
The tension that had settled over me started to melt away with my mom’s hug. For the first time in weeks, I felt a little lighter. Like I didn’t have to carry this enormous weight on my shoulders all the time.
“It’s good to see you, Mom,” I said, slowly pulling out of her hug so that I could get a good look at her. It had been weeks since I’d last seen her and she was looking like her old self.
As usual, my mother was perfectly coiffed, dressed head to toe in designer business attire.
The last time I’d seen her though, she hadn’t looked like herself, all disheveled from the stress of taking care of Papa while he’d been recovering in the hospital.
My mother had been so devoted to him that I was convinced it was her refusal to give up on him that had brought my father back from the brink.
Now that I’d spent weeks watching over Enzo in the hospital, I finally understood what it was like to keep vigil at the bedside of the man that I loved.
The difference between us, however, was that my father loved my mother back.
My love would be nothing like theirs. Instead, it would be a cold, lonely sort of love that would never be reciprocated.
“What’s wrong sweetheart? You look rather peaked,” my mother said, scrutinizing me with worry in her eyes.
Very little got past my mother. While I might be able to conceal the most intense of my emotions from Enzo, I wasn’t going be so lucky with Mom. I’d been able to fool her over the phone, but now that she could actually see me, there was nowhere to hide.
I swallowed hard and waved a dismissive hand.
As much as I wished I could confide in her, part of me didn’t want to make her worry.
It didn’t seem right for the mother of the bride to go into this sad as well.
Maybe it was better to just give my mom some happiness after everything. “Wedding stress. No big deal.”
“You don’t have to pretend right now,” my mother said, lowering her voice while a couple of sales associates busied themselves in the fitting room. “It’s a few days before your wedding and I’m your mother. You can tell me what’s on your mind. I can see that something is troubling you.”
My mother was giving me a rare opportunity to unburden myself.
That didn’t happen often. We were typically stoic people, keeping our emotions in check so that our enemies couldn’t get to us physically or psychologically.
But it was clear that something had shifted for her.
Maybe losing Papa was making her want to stop bottling up everything all the time.
“It’s the usual wedding jitters,” I said, reflexively saying what was typically expected of me. But then I saw the doubt flash in her eyes and I knew that I’d have to tell her something approaching the truth.
Of course, I couldn’t tell her that Enzo and his family had planned to use this marriage to wrest control of our mafia empire from us.
He had planned on making me fall in love with him so that he could manipulate and control me into giving away my family’s illicit business.
If I told her all that, she’d have his head immediately and a dead Enzo was useless to me.
“There’s nothing usual about this wedding,” my mother said, lowering her voice.
I sighed. “No, there definitely isn’t.”
My mother politely asked the sales associates for privacy and we were quickly left alone in the fitting room.
Mom sat down in one of the plush chairs and she patted the seat of the chair next to her, silently inviting me to join her.
As I sank down into the chair beside her, I could feel my energy leaving me. For whatever reason, it was a similar sensation to a hair coming free of its pins. The last bit of the dam that had been holding back the full force of my emotions was about to give way.
I exhaled a shaky breath, gathering what courage I had left.
How much did I dare reveal to her? The last few weeks played back in my mind.
I’d pretty much lied to my parents about everything.
After the woodshed fire had almost killed Enzo, I had let my parents think that we were still secure at the safehouse in upstate New York.
With Enzo convinced my father was responsible for the blaze, I couldn’t let that suspicion get to his own family’s ears.
They would have come after my family without mercy, starting the war all over again.
The very thing that I’d sacrificed everything to avert.
Silence and secrecy had been my only options.
Even though I believed in my father’s innocence, as long as Enzo believed Papa was guilty, I couldn’t risk that getting out.
“You know, the dress fittings are often the most emotional part before a wedding,” my mom said, clearly trying to helpfully break any ice that might remain.
I could tell that she’d rather be pushy, but if she was willing to hold back for my benefit then it showed that she wanted to put me at ease.
My mother wasn’t stupid. She was well aware that I’d be more likely to spill if I felt somewhat comfortable.
“That makes sense,” I said, my voice hollow from grief.
“Though back when I married your father, I wouldn’t dream of choosing my wedding dress online,” Mom said. “That was a little bit too high tech for me in those days.”
At first, I’d decided to pick the gown online because of how busy life was. Online shopping for a wedding dress was just another convenience. But after the fire, it wasn’t like I’d had much choice.
I fell silent, not knowing how to proceed.
Though I couldn’t tell her the goriest of the details, there were pieces of my heart that I so desperately wanted to share with someone.
Anyone. An ache expanded in my chest at all the secrets I’d been keeping from her.
The distance that lies and deceit created between me and my parents was almost too much to bear.
Mom reached out to take my hand, squeezing it gently. She was being so patient and so kind that hot tears pricked the backs of my eyes then.
My mother gasped softly as she released my hand to take hold of my face between her palms. She looked me in the eye, pure sympathy softening her expression.
Tears rolled down my cheeks, getting on her hands, but she refused to let go.
“Lena, has that man been hurting you? Say the word and I will deal with him myself,” my mother said with all the fierceness of a mama bear.
I shook my head. “No. He’d never hurt me.”
No, Enzo wouldn’t abuse me. He’d kill me in self-defense or break my heart so thoroughly that it felt like I was dying, but other than that, he’ d never hurt me.
I sucked in a breath, fighting to stop the tears.
But it was no use. It was too late to stop them and today had been so emotional with Enzo leaving the hospital and confessing his biggest secret to me.
Why he’d bother to tell me that he had tried to leave the mafia, I didn’t know.
What did he care if I knew about his secrets?
If anything, it was information that I could use against him.
Now that I wasn’t resisting my thoughts and emotions, it occurred to me that Enzo telling me about his secret plans didn’t make sense.
He’d armed me with intel that I could use to destroy him.
I couldn’t understand why a man who hated me so much would share such intimate secrets.
Maybe he’d been setting yet another trap.
It could have been another manipulation tactic he’d deployed to butter me up and ensure that I’d agree to marry him.
Once we were married, Enzo could very well decide to keep using me for his family’s benefit.
His confession about wanting to leave the mafia had shocked me, but I had come undone when I’d thought that he had decided against leaving because he had met me.
You couldn’t go through with leaving, I’d said earlier.
Not after I met you, he’d responded.
Hearing that had filled me with such foolish hope.
For a moment, I had truly thought Enzo meant he had decided to stay in the mafia because he had met and fallen in love with me.
As it turned out, I’d been mistaken. Enzo had decided against leaving the mafia because I was the key to ending the war.
I was just a bargaining chip to him, nothing more.
He had not felt for me what I felt for him.
There had been a secret desire in my heart to start a family someday. Maybe subconsciously I had wanted that so badly that I had overlooked the signs of Enzo’s treachery.
“So, what’s brought you to this?” Mom asked, knowing that I rarely full-on cried. I might shed a tear or two in private when things got really rough, but right now I was sobbing.
“I love him,” I said, the words sticking in my throat with all the viciousness of a thorn.
Enzo hadn’t broken me physically. What he had done was smash my heart into pieces so small they could pass through the eye of a needle.