Chapter 9 #3
“And you’ve saved mine,” I interrupted, staring deep into her eyes.
I was a drowning man, fighting against the current as I lost myself in those azure blue eyes.
In her eyes, I was at sea, underneath an endless horizon.
Loving her was to love someone containing such multitudes that the vastness of her had no end.
As I gazed at her, I saw that Valentina was my world.
She was the world and I was a satellite completely in her orbit forevermore. I would not have it any other way.
“I’d say that, like my father alluded to earlier today, we’ve saved each other.” She smiled.
“I should never have gone along with my old man’s plans,” I heaved out in frustration.
“We were on opposite sides at the time,” she reminded me.
“I should have told you the truth sooner,” I said.
“You should have,” she agreed, nodding. “But you called it off. You told your dad that you wanted to end the scheme to use me. That shows you were trying to do the right thing. Even if it was going to cost you. I know what it means to go against a mafia don. You put yourself at risk to do the right thing.”
I squeezed her small hand gently, the pair of us gazing at each other, the tense air around us dissipating, replaced by an urge to tell her everything that was going on in my head.
The urge and a desperation to know what was going on in hers.
It was like I couldn’t live without a constant connection between us.
Like a copper wire needing another copper wire if it was ever going to have the hope of a spark.
“I would do it again,” I said. “Risk everything for you.”
“Enzo, do you help me out of obligation? Did you marry me out of obligation?” she asked, a sad expectation behind her eyes.
She’d asked that question before. And I’d been able to avoid giving an answer.
That look in her blue eyes told me that I wouldn’t be able to avoid it this time around.
Thankfully, this time, I wanted to give her an answer.
I no longer wanted to hold anything back for fear that she might see me.
I wanted her to see who I was because she deserved to know who she was married to.
Every bride deserved that much, Valentina especially.
She’d held nothing back with me, boldly showing me exactly who she was, regardless of the judgement or the outcome. That was true courage.
I remembered the three rules I’d had through this whole scheme.
To tell as much of the truth as possible, to never fall in love with her, and to bury my feelings so that not even I could tell that I had them.
With Valentina, I had broken rules two and three, falling so in love with her that I couldn’t deny those feelings no matter how deep I tried to bury them.
Some things could not be hidden. A love this powerful was one of those things.
“Obligation, duty, love,” I said. “I will risk everything for you for all those reasons.”
“Love?” she breathed out.
She went entirely still, then, as if in anticipation of something, and so did the whole world along with her. Everything seemed to go quiet, even my heartrate slowed down. Valentina gazed as me as if she didn’t dare hope, but from the way her face was shining, hope was exactly what she wanted.
“Love most of all,” I told her. “Every husband has a duty, but you need to know that I love you Valentina.”
Every single one of my actions for her had been far more than duty. Far more than simple devotion. Valentina gave my life meaning for the first time, and it was like I was finally, truly alive. Life had started when I met her and not a moment earlier.
One thing about being in the mafia underworld—it was a trial by fire to find a woman beyond a man’s wildest dreams. Only the test of a world as dangerous as ours made it possible to win an extraordinary woman.
With renewed determination, I did not plan on failing this test. I would have Valentina, mind, body, heart, and soul if it killed me.
“Everything I do from now on is because I love you,” I said, finally finding the right words.
Hoping that my declaration wouldn’t scare her off.
I’d lost her when she found out the full extent of my plans for her.
I could not ever lose her again. That would destroy me more completely than any poison, fire, or bullet. “You are my life’s purpose.”
I braced myself for what she would say next, hoping against hope that somehow, Valentina no longer saw me as her sworn enemy. At the very least, this could be a break from the past and an end to the war.
She took a step back, opening her bedroom door. This could very well be Valentina choosing to escape. Choosing to reject my love for her. She’d step inside, slam the door in my face, and that would be it. The end of every worthwhile thing in my life.
And yet, I couldn’t accept defeat so easily. I held out my hand to her, silently showing her that I wasn’t going to give up on her. All I needed was for her to take a leap of faith with me.