48
SCOTTY
No, Love! No!
My mind is a maelstrom, tearing up everything in its path, and I keep screaming inside it as though I might find Ezla on the other side.
But she’s not there.
I’ve failed her. I’ve failed the only woman I’ve ever been in love with, the only one I ever will be in love with.
I’ve failed my brother, too, and I watch as he falls to his knees before our Bonded with a devastated cry that has bile rising up my throat and a horrible tingling numbness trying to take over me.
I’ve failed Tate, who isn’t even here anymore, taken to some place I’m not sure I’ll be able to retrieve him from without the woman he’s been obsessed with for years.
I’ve failed Cooper, whose expression tells me this is about to send him off the rails for good—his anger will get the best of him, and he won’t return from it.
I’ve failed Alby, who’d just begun to truly settle into this family we’ve built, who I could tell was gearing up to tell Ezla that he loved her. And now all that courage is falling right down the drain before my very eyes as he sobs his heart out.
They were all mine to take care of, and I’ve destroyed them.
I’ve destroyed myself.
A flicker of life underneath my fingertips. A steady pulse.
I crash back to reality.
“She’s okay. She’s alive.”
Fuck, she’s alive.
Christ. The sheer volume of relief that crashes through me is dizzying. And . . . Jesus, we’d all just assumed the worst, thoughts of her . . . gone from our lives taking over before any of us could form logical thoughts. That’s so clear now.
But I couldn’t see past the panic, the utter horror of my unstoppable Bonded looking so lifeless, especially when everyone knows only grave matters cause anything like this with how healthy humans have become over time, even more so here in Techta with the most advanced science and technology to help us along.
And fuck, I’d truly thought I might’ve lost her there.
My words yank everyone back to themselves, relief drenching the room so profoundly it’s almost tangible.
I pull Ezla tighter against me, closing my eyes and pressing my forehead to hers, inhaling her as if I could scoop her into me and protect her there in a little bubble.
The pressure in my chest alleviates enough for me to breathe again, both because she’s here—alive, I reassure myself to make sure that truly sinks in—and additionally because I was able to help my brothers.
They still trust me to take care of them, to lead them.
It’s clear from their reactions, their immediate belief in my words, and the way they’re continuing to look to me right now for what to do next.
They don’t hate me for not figuring out whatever’s wrong with our Bonded when we’ve all had concerns over the weeks which we’ve spoken about with one another.
They don’t hate me for being as lost as the rest of them right now.
Yet I know that this moment, these feelings, will plague me for a long time.
But I will not fail them again.
We’re going to figure out what’s really going on here, both why Ezla’s passed out so painfully and what’s going on behind closed doors.
And that need is made even more pressing when I have this nagging feeling they’re related.
I’m going to take care of her even if she gets so irritated by it that she launches me across the globe or strings me up by my balls.
My brothers and I will help our Bonded find her happiness and freedom, and that more than just surviving the Games will be our happy ending.