Chapter 55
I’ve never feared having a heart attack—until now. The damn organ feels ready to hurl itself up my throat, especially as the two of them stare at me expectantly, like they think I might run. As if I could outrun a Vampire and an Incubus.
Pfft.
We moved this conversation to the bedroom. I suggested outside, but that felt too exposed, and Kayn made a comment about bending me over to spank me if I tried lying.
I’ve come to learn he isn’t joking, and that spank probably wouldn’t be for pleasure.
“Sit, dollface.”
I do as he says, settling on the edge of the bed.
They both stay a few feet away, but they’re still intimidating.
Kayn stands with his arms crossed over his chest, his tight white shirt straining over his torso.
Lucifer keeps one hand tucked into the pocket of his sweats, his head tilted as he waits.
Taking a deep breath, I press my lips together. Where to start…
“You already know I’m a Yldarwright, but we aren’t all the same. There are purebloods and non-purebloods. We don’t see either as lesser, but there are significant… power differences between the two. I’m of the former.”
“What constitutes pure and non?”
“Purebloods are direct descendants of the first Yldarwrights to inhabit Earth.”
I focus specifically on Kayn, because he didn’t even know my kind existed until he met me. He doesn’t even flinch at that information, so I continue.
“My parents were just over two millennia old when they were killed.” His eyes widen at that. “I’ve only lived for twenty-seven of them…”
“I absolutely hate the way you say that,” he groans.
“I was technically born one thousand, five hundred years ago, but was put into a deep sleep where I didn’t age.”
“Suppose that explains how you were able to wield magic strong enough to blow off my father’s arm,” Lucifer murmurs, his eyes moving between mine.
“Why? Did they do that to your other siblings?” I just know that Kayn is trying his best to hold it together. I’ve withheld so much about myself, and I try to convince myself that he’ll forgive me for it, even if this all feels like the beginning of a bad breakup.
“No. My situation was complicated.”
“Why would they do that to you?”
I move my head between a nod, and a shake. “Balance. Do you know where Yldarwrights originate from?”
“Legend has it that Vendra swallowed a mortal male and female, and gave birth to twins; a boy and a girl.”
“That’s fucking stupid,” Kayn says as he begins to pace.
“It is, because we don’t originate from Earth.” My unpassable Vampire slowly turns his head back to me. He and Luce both look dumbfounded. “Remember when I took you ‘home’? Yeah, I quite literally took you home. Off this planet.”
“You’re telling me I’ve fucked an alien?”
I don’t know if he is saying that for me to laugh or not, but because Lucifer slightly does, I can’t help but huff out light chuckle. “Sure.”
“But you look… Mundane.” Kayn sounds like he’s having a hard time believing me.
“Ignorant to think this is the only planet with lifeforms that look like you. Do you think you all came from here? That the bullshit story of Adam and Eve was real? It may be so, but odds are it’s not. Anyways, we could talk on that forever, let me get to the point.
“I was born on this world, but in that catatonic state my mind was placed on my peoples’ world—Solara.
My kind can live a normal Mundane life if we don’t cast the immortality spell, which my people do more often than not.
Twenty-seven, nearly twenty-eight years ago now, I was woken.
It’s dangerous to have too many purebloods connected to Vendra, but when my siblings decided they no longer wanted immortality, I had a chance at living. ”
“Are you…” I can see the hope in Lucifer’s violet eyes.
I nod. “Weeks before they were killed, my parents cast the spell on me—unwillingly. I didn’t want it…”
Both of them tense, and I offer a soft, weary smile. “I wanted a normal life. My siblings said immortality is lonely, and… I knew that was what awaited me. Loneliness.”
It’s obvious by their demeanor that they’re relieved at the revelation, even if they think I’m not. Which they are wrong. Immortality doesn’t scare me the way it used to. It’s not that I fear being without anyone anymore.
I’m scared of running for an immortal life alone.
“I honestly thought I’d only have a Mundane lifespan with you when the hex was gone.” The pure relief in Kayn’s voice has my heart skipping. “You won’t ever be alone, Amarah, ever again.”
My lips roll together, and I nod softly. “I know…” Taking a deep breath, I continue before we go down another rabbit hole, “The older a Yldarwright is, the more they can consume and hold onto magic.”
“And you’re pretty dang old. How’d I become the youngest?” Lucifer says with a handsome smile that eases me further.
“Technically I’m still the youngest. I don’t see me being in that state as living. But anyway, I had to tell you that so you’d understand the Night of Emethye, Verraketh, and why I agreed to meet with Lucifer.”
“From my understanding, Verraketh is a… mirror?” Kayn asks, stopping his pacing and damn near bouncing on his toes.
My anxious Vampire. I’ve never seen him like this before.
“It was created with a spell—Aetherforge, and a strong one at that. I’m not entirely sure who made it, but it was said to have been stolen by a Demon and gifted to Proserpina as a wedding gift. So, it’s why I met with Lucifer, and luckily that part was true.”
I take a deep breath and lean back on my hands, staring up at the ceiling. “It can trap someone in it. It kills their body but keeps the mind and soul intact.”
“And you trapped the person who actually killed everyone in Sylverton in it. Why not just kill them?”
That is complicated.
“The woman that did it is as old as I am, but she lived the thousand plus years, unlike me. I was lucky that Vendra favored me, and I was able to overpower her. Unfortunately, trapping her was the only way to make her vulnerable enough to destroy the vessel.”
“Can you break the mirror?”
I shake my head. “No. That would release her.”
“But if she has no body…”
My nostrils flare. “Hexborn have been reanimating Necroth for hundreds of years. She has support somewhere that would find her a body.”
I lean my head up to look at Kayn.
“Her goal that night was to summon Belial to do her bidding. She would’ve done catastrophic damage before bringing him to Vaeloris, who would have executed him in the Vayl for overstepping the binding law of the three realms. Setting off a war, and likely the decline and annihilation of the Beyond. ”
“You think so little of my people that we would be defeated by those Gods?” Lucifer asks, obvious hurt in his tone.
I shake my head quickly. “Of course not. I’m not saying this would have been an overnight fight. It would’ve raged for centuries, if not longer. So, so much death would have come from it.”
My head shifts to look at Kayn. “That war would be here. Because neither side would invade the other until they had the upper hand. The mortal world is the neutral ground that would have suffered. The protection that my people and Vendra put over earth would only keep Belial and Vaeloris from stepping on it simultaneously. It doesn’t keep Angels and Demons from it. ”
“Why was she doing it? What’s her name? Not that it matters, I only know of one Yldarwright.” Kayn, for the first time since I sat down, smiles at me.
“I can’t tell you her name, but she was doing it for favor. Vendra sort of cast her aside, and she wanted Vaeloris’s hand.”
“Hand?” Lucifer asks. “As in… marriage?”
I nod.
“Well, shit.”
“Yeah, she’s quite delusional. Or, was.” I sit forward and grab my hair, dragging it over my shoulder. It didn’t go unnoticed it was washed when I woke.
My appreciation for these men goes beyond words, but for them to have kept me clean while I was recovering, it means everything to me.
“She couldn’t end my life because she… knew of the deal I made with the mirror. It was a long, long fight…” I hold back the memories of that night. Falling into those images will drag me to begin cracking, and I don’t want that. That isn’t what this conversation is about, anyhow.
“Why that town?”
I suck air through my teeth and sigh. “Some non-pureblood Yldarwrights, but most were what was left of the first born. The original holders of magic before my people came to Earth. They had long lost their wings before then, and it was time to pass the mantel. They were good people…” The sting of heat behind my eyes draws my palm up to press against them one at a time, willing myself not to cry.
“It wasn’t enough she killed my family—she annihilated an entire race.
Only one child survived to be the last of the First. How… heartbreaking.”
The bed dips at my right, and it’s Lucifer’s hand that presses against the base of my spine. He says nothing, which I appreciate. I want to keep going and just get this over with.
“I’d made a deal with Verraketh—my life for hers. If I died, it would take hers, but there is always a catch with the mirror. I couldn’t end my own life; someone else had to. Vendra wouldn’t allow it, and Thornwyn got in the way every time I tried.”
Kayn’s feet come into view as I keep my head down. “That was then, and she’s already trapped. Why would you want me to end your life?”
I shake my head. “Guilt… Living with what I did, and—”
“You have nothing to feel guilty for, Amarah. You did more than most would. You suffered—”
“I didn’t do enough.” I cut Lucifer off.
“But regardless, it isn’t for what she did.
It was for what I did. I took the very essence of those kids.
I mutilated them, took their hearts, and paid them to Verraketh.
Do you understand they can never be reborn when that happens?
I may not have killed them, but I may as well have.
There will be no rebirth. They will go to the Vayl, and their souls will stay young, in a world of growth, forever. ”
My hands open and I rest my face in them. I can feel the cracks in my skin breaking, tearing down and showcasing that I will never be free from this feeling. That I’m just as broken as I was the moment the curse was placed on me, and no amount of help can fix me.
“I’m reminded every time I look in the mirror, that what stares back at me, is a monster.”
Hands grip my wrists, tearing them away from my face. It’s Kayn’s face I see. He’s kneeling in front of me, shaking his head viciously.
“Stop.” He reaches for my cheek, swiping away the tear that managed to escape. “Gods, Amarah, none of that is your fault.”
Lucifer takes the back of my neck gently and leans his forehead against my temple. “I know monsters, dollface, and I promise you, you’re so far from one it’s laughable.”
As Kayn sits up, he brings himself eye level with me. “Luce told me you were terrified to tell me. Why? In what world would you think I’d ever leave you?”
I release a shaky breath and drop my gaze. “Self-doubt that anyone would ever choose me… considering I wouldn’t even choose myself.”
“Well, let me put that dumb shit to rest.” He grabs my chin and directs me to look at him. “This world could crumble into nothing, and as long as I had you two left, my world would still be together. I choose you, and Lucifer, for as long as my head stays attached to my shoulders.”
Heat tingles across my cheeks, up my nose, and straight to my eyes. “Promise?”
“Promise, little slayer.” The pad of his thumb drags across my lips. “You’re not allowed to die and leave me. And I’m not killing you, so you better give me another name—but not right now, please. I’ll be your personal executioner another day.”
I nod, and look over to Lucifer as he drags the back of his hand across my temple. “We aren’t the stupid ones here—”
“Hey, now.”
“He’s just as obsessed with you as he is with me. And look at the lengths he went for me.”
“That’s true…”
His warm smile brings out the dimples in both cheeks, and he leans his forehead against mine. “I’m quite obsessed too,” he murmurs, brushing a kiss against the highlight of my cheekbone. “Ours.”
“Absolutely fucking ours,” Kayn says while cradling my face. “You understand that, right, Amarah?”
Although there’s still so much to divulge about everything that happened that night—and about my life—I’m ready to fall into these men. Ready to think of nothing but their touch. I want to feel their outpouring of affection again, now that they know what I’ve done. I hope it feels as it did before.
“Yes, I understand, baby.”
He groans through his explicative. “Fuck.”
His reaction is exactly what I’d hoped for. He grabs my waist and pulls me flush to his torso. “Your head okay?” The breathless whisper against my lips makes me shiver.
When I nod, he places a quick kiss on my mouth. “I’ll be feeling through the bond, so I’ll know if you’re hurting.”
I acknowledge him with another soft nod.
Suddenly the bed bounces as Lucifer stands. I immediately jet out my hand and catch his wrist.
“Where are you going?”
He turns his hand to take mine before leaning in and kissing my knuckles. “There’s no rush. I can wait to—”
“Thought we weren’t the stupid ones?”
The feeling of Kayn’s beard against my neck accompanies his low laugh. He doesn’t say anything, just wraps his arms around me—one hand threading through my hair, the other trailing down to the small of my back.
“I’m not…”
“Leaving us is stupid, though.”
His lips roll together as he fights a smile. “Do you want me to stay?”
I nod softly and shift our hands so I can lace my fingers with his. “You two aren’t the only ones obsessed, Lucifer…”
Kayn nibbles at the curve of my shoulder—right where I’ve missed him sinking his fangs into.
“Don’t leave,” I breathe, my words coming out thin and shaky. I squeeze my knees around the man who’s clearly lost all his patience.
Through my barely open eyes, I watch Lucifer grin. “You’ve ruined me, dollface.”
“Good,” I whimper, just as a sharp pain cuts through my flesh. It melts quickly into pleasure as blood flows out of me and into Kayn’s mouth. “Because you’ve both destroyed any chance of getting rid of me.”
Death would be my only option.
And theirs, too.
Because I’ll kill them if they ever leave me after making me feel again.