Chapter 46
CHAPTER FORTY-SIX
“You’re still leaving yourself wide open on your left,” Breyer coached from the sidelines as Helaina faced down Fee in the arena.
The fae mates had taken her on as their own personal project.
They had supplied her with properly fitting armor and more leathers, even found her a sword perfect for her size.
It seemed that by saving Aaron, Helaina had earned their trust. The initial shunning she received in this place had ended.
Helaina was grateful for it; they were so skilled and patient with her as they spent every day helping her prepare.
They didn’t push about the bracelet again, although Helaina did reveal its true purpose in time, her own sign of trust to give.
She wouldn’t practice with her magic, though, not after what happened.
She wouldn’t risk luring anything this close again, especially with Theo, Callum, and Manos gone.
The Troika had left the morning she fled Theo’s room, before she woke, to find what or who had attacked Aaron. They’d been away for weeks now.
“She’s so fast,” Helaina breathed heavily, trying to match the feline speed Fee was delivering without success.
Fee nearly twirled in the air, landing a kick to Helaina’s left side that sent her sprawling to the ground.
She didn’t get up this time, more out of frustration than injury.
How was she supposed to compete with an immortal without using her power?
“Why does any of this training even matter?” she muttered. “If I get my full powers, isn’t that enough? Why do we need weapons when we have magic?”
“A Divine who only relies on their god-given abilities is as good as dead. Every magic has its breaking point, where it needs to regenerate. We train so when our magic drains, we aren’t . . . helpless.” Breyer eyed her up and down.
“I am not helpless.” Helaina scowled. “I have held my own here these past weeks.”
Fee giggled. “Maybe a break is due?”
Helaina nodded, clutching the left side of her armored chest.
“I could eat,” Breyer agreed, giving Helaina a hand and pulling her to her feet with ease.
Day after day she expected the captain to return, waking her at dawn to push her into vigorous tasks and exercise. She wanted to be ready for that day, to prove to him she was ready for her trial.
Wake up.
Eat.
Train.
Eat.
Read.
Sleep.
She ensured her days were structured and routine, like how they had been with Adriel.
Every morning a soldier delivered breakfast to her room, and she ate every bite.
The food choices here were surprisingly diverse.
Flavorful breads, seasoned potatoes, large portions of fish and poultry.
The meals were always accompanied by some type of pastry or sweet custard.
She always devoured the desserts first. Even eating with her hands had stopped bothering her, although she still found it silly.
Her newfound company had started her on simple exercises. Small jogs around the gravel tracks, getting reacquainted with her swordplay. Day after day, week after week, she noticed a change. Her runs grew longer, the nagging in her leg lessened.
Aaron joined them as they made their way down the tunnels toward the Azure Chasm. She had gotten to know him over the weeks. At first, she couldn’t approach him, out of guilt that she had been responsible for his disfigurement. She came to learn he had a much different outlook.
“I am completely indebted to you.” That’s what he had said to her.
He told the story to anyone who would listen, about the foes in the night and how Helaina had fended them off with mortal magic.
He wore his missing limb like a badge of honor, his proof of survival. It eased her to see him write that narrative of things. She understood how special he was, and why Callum treasured him.
Her newfound companions introduced her to others. Skin changers, fire and water bringers, telepaths, fliers. The types of magic knew no bounds here. Despite their many differences and backgrounds, all the demigods had one thing in common.
Theo.
He had found all of them and offered them this life. He had handed them their chance at power. The stories of him were ruthless, an unyielding presence when faced on the battlefield. They feared him, of course they did. But there was also firmly established reverence.
The four of them took seats at a table lined with various dishes. Ground meat packed with fresh herbs, boiled eggs, and so many types of fruit she didn’t recognize. Fee brought over a large tin of coffee and began pouring it into ceramic mugs.
Helaina took one and swallowed the rich bitterness. “Who cooks the food here?”
“We take turns cooking and cleaning. Each rank has a job, and we rotate. Our powers play a part in making this place what it is, but we all take on other duties,” Aaron explained. “I recommend not eating when it’s Fee’s turn in the kitchen.”
Fee smacked him across the back of the head and smiled sarcastically. “You can starve then, if you hate it so much.”
Helaina decided to brave another question she had pondered since arriving. “What is Theo’s power exactly?”
Aaron didn’t answer this time.
Breyer looked at Fee as her slender flour-white hand grasped her mate’s. “There are many . . . layers to what he can do.”
“The night we fought, he said his power didn’t work on me. What exactly did he try to do?”
They all looked to Breyer.
“He used it on me once. It was a long time ago . . . and it wasn’t his fault. He always kept his composure, always stayed in control. Until one evening I insisted on sleeping alongside him.”
Helaina was nervous about where this story was heading. She hadn’t asked Breyer about her and Theo’s history. Truthfully, she didn’t want to know.
“He was raging when I woke. A nightmare, I think. I only meant to wake him. But when I touched him . . . his bare skin . . .” Breyer exhaled, the deep contemplation clear on her face.
“All it took was one touch, when his mind wasn’t fully aware.
Suddenly I saw things, sinister things that shouldn’t exist in my head.
It was too real, I was living it. I remember screaming, wailing, begging for it to stop.
I’ve never felt that kind of fear, not in life, not in battle. ”
No one has touched me like this, ever.
Helaina had a sudden understanding of what Theo had meant during their intimate moment.
My own powers can’t touch you.
It occurred to her that the same fear Breyer suffered by accident . . . Theo had tried to inflict on her with purpose. It had been a stroke of pure luck on her side that his power had failed.
That unbelievable bastard.
Helaina masked her hurt, her immense anger, while Breyer continued.
“I’ve seen lesser monsters and betrayers slit their own throats at that touch, choosing death over the horrors playing in their heads.
Manos said I didn’t stop shrieking until he came and suspended my mind.
He can do that, you know, pause things, make you a living statue.
Lionel came later and healed my memory.”
Fee gave her mate’s hand a firm shake. Breyer regarded her with exceptional fondness. “I don’t think I was quite right after that, not until Fee came. She fixed the parts of me no healer could reach.”
Fee rested her head on Breyer’s shoulder, wearing a self-satisfied grin. “You fixed me too, my love.”
Breyer turned to kiss the top of Fee’s glittering hair. Helaina looked upon them with a silent envy. How wonderful it must be for fate to design you a partner that was unequivocally yours.
“That is only a fraction of what he bears,” Fee added in that aloof voice of hers.
“Valhoor gave him power that is uninhibited—sometimes I think it’s limitless.
I have seen him turn solid rock into dust, make impossible things move with his mind.
He has crafted hurricanes out of a single puddle to ward off an approaching attack.
But that fear . . . that bone-rattling fear of his . . . it’s maddening.”
“What about . . . the monster underneath?” Helaina had to know if there was something more to that dreadful creature.
Breyer shrugged. “He’s like us in a way, but not.
” Breyer gestured to Fee. “We’re skin changers; we call upon our counterparts when we choose to.
For Theo, that beast lives inside him day and night.
They are like two separate beings constantly at odds.
Sometimes when he changes, he’s our commander .
. . other times, he’s something else. Theo wins most days, shoving it back down.
He’s learned to control it, saving his most violent beast for battle. ”
Helaina thought about that aggressive monster rising to the surface. How hard it must be to keep something like that at bay every day, every hour. How did he sleep? How did he fight while he was constantly waging a war within his own body?
“It’s interesting you inquire about Theo. There was a rumor that you were seen leaving his room after Aaron was healed,” Fee said.
“You’d think all of you had better things to do than listen to gossip. I was just naturally curious; he is the commander, after all.” Helaina tried to give a convincing shrug.
From the looks she received, they weren’t buying it. Helaina abruptly changed the subject. “I’ve seen your fire drake.” She nodded to Breyer. “What about you, Fee? What can you change into?”
Aaron choked on his meal. “Please don’t ask her. She might show you.”
Breyer shoved his good shoulder in retort, then eyed her mate. “Don’t let her sweetness fool you. She can shift into one of the most feared mountain creatures out here—a night bear.”
Helaina’s jaw dropped. “You . . . can shift into a night bear?”
Fee combed her talon nails through her icy hair. “Only when it’s most dire. They are such unruly beasts, I hardly feel in control when I change.”
Helaina had a mind to ignore Aaron’s warning and ask to see.
Another five days passed with no sign of their return. No Manos, no Callum.
No Theo.
Helaina continued her routine, feeling stronger each day.
One morning, she found herself wandering a different yet familiar tunnel that ended at the infirmary.
She opened the door to find Lionel hunched over a desk, writing in a giant text.
His clothes were not like the others’. He wore a cream-colored robe with delicate golden embroidery on the front. He looked more priest than warrior.
She cleared her throat.
He glanced up, eyes glinting at the sight of her. “Good morning. I’ve been hoping we’d run into each other sooner or later.”
She took a step inside. “You have?”
His smile grew wide as his golden eyes beamed. “Your work with Aaron was that of a skilled professional. You must have had a great teacher. If you ever want to put down the sword and join me here, I’d be happy to have you.”
“I did . . . and I’d be honored for the opportunity.
” She fidgeted with the brass clasps on her leathers, wondering if she’d ever get the chance to tell Madge of the life she saved.
“I’m just glad I didn’t kill him. I didn’t know he was Callum’s brother.
I don’t think he would have let me live if I’d failed. ”
Lionel put down his pen and placed his hands on the arms of the chair. “No. No, he wouldn’t have.” Lionel laughed almost nervously. “You’re so young, you must have a remarkable memory, something any healer would be envious of. It’s a gift.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes I wish my memory wasn’t as . . . vivid.”
Lionel pursed his lips in thought. “We all have memories we wish to forget. Sometimes I think of how blissful it would be to erase the faces of those I couldn’t help, the ones where I didn’t make it in time.
” He stood, walking to the other side of his workspace.
“But then I remember how selfish and sad that would be, to erase them. Instead, I carry them close, I use those faces to push me forward. Their memory makes it all the more meaningful when a life is saved.”
She decided she liked Lionel very much.
“What happens to the ones you can’t save? Are there no prayers or burial rites here in Elkron?” He was a descendant of Nedos, after all. If anyone would lay a body to rest, she figured it would be Lionel.
He arched a brow as he organized a few other texts on his desk. “You’re thinking about Agatha.” His tone grew somber with her name.
“Yes. No one has talked about her . . . Is that how it is here?” Helaina barely knew her. It just seemed so strange to carry on without pause when they lost one of their own.
“Have you not seen it?” he asked.
“Seen what?”
“Come.” Lionel exited swiftly, allowing Helaina to follow.
They didn’t have to go far. He directed her to a small carved staircase that led downward.
When they came to the base, Helaina beheld a room of beautiful light.
Thousands upon thousands of candles of various shapes and sizes covered every wall and every piece of the floor, some accompanied by flowers, letters, or clothing.
“What is this?”
“A place to remember.”
Realization hit her. “Every one of these is . . .”
“Theo enchants the wax; they can never be extinguished. As long as these lights burn, we never forget our own.” He pointed to a honey-colored candle near her boot. Next to it, a gleaming chest plate, engraved with a sigil of a great axe—a symbol of Ures.
“You cannot blame the living for moving forward as they do here. We remember them in our own way.”
She reached down, placing a palm on the cool iron, remembering the girl who owed her nothing, yet gave her rest and a hot meal. Such a simple, yet unforgettable kindness.
“Thank you, Lionel, for all you do here. For what you did for me.”
He gave a gracious bow of his head. “Good day, Helaina.” He went back the way they came, leaving her crouched down before the eternal flames.