THE CALM IN THE CHAOS
22
- KAILU -
I wander the halls, unsure of where I’m headed. Everyone is upstairs having dinner, but I just can’t be there. Not with Alanis and Malakai. Not while my hands shake and my jaw aches from clenching my teeth so hard. The whiskey in my glass is doing its job so well I hardly know where I’m going until I stumble into a door and peer inside to the healing quarters.
I amble along, looking at all the glass vials while my mind wanders to Alanis. Our attraction was so fast and strong, but that doesn’t mean it wasn’t true. I loved her.
Hell, I still do.
I miss her friendship. I just miss her.
I push through yet another door and freeze. Bookshelves line the whole back wall, while vials of unknown herbs and liquids line the side of the room. The mahogany floor is covered with a cream-colored rug. A delicate Fae sits behind a desk in the center of the room scribbling notes onto parchment. Her hair is a deep auburn color that highlights her large hazel eyes.
“Can I help you?” she asks.
I stand there staring a second longer, trying to figure out if I need help.
Nope, just slightly inebriated.
“Sorry, just exploring. I’m going to go now.”
It’s her smirk that makes me think she’s familiar, though I’m not sure how. “You don’t remember me, do you?”
I swallow hard. I definitely do not remember her.
“Laylani,” she says. “We met about a decade ago, in a pub.”
My mind flits through the past years. I didn’t spend much time with females beyond what I needed. After everything with Ayda, I had no desire for anything else. Not until Alanis.
“We went to the inn down the street and you called me the wrong name before throwing up on yourself and passing out.”
My face heats even as my blood runs cold. I remember that day. The day I lost Ayda, I went to the pub, searching for comfort in the bottom of a glass. I remember waking up the following day, alone and smelling of vomit.
“Shit.”
She laughs. “It’s fine. I hope whatever caused you to be that way has eased.” Her gaze flicks to my near-empty glass.
A self-deprecating laugh cracks out of my chest. “Yeah…now just a whole new situation.”
Her gaze softens. “I’m sorry to hear that.”
I toss back the last of my drink before clearing my throat and attempting to sound more sober than I am. “Do you believe everyone has a mate?”
She tilts her head. “Yes. I also believe that certain people can have more than one. More powerful creatures tend to have multiple mating bonds. At least from what I’ve read.”
Shock hits me in the chest, followed swiftly by a tinge of hope. “What if someone felt like they should be your other half, but you didn’t have the signs of being their mate?”
After a moment, she stands up to wander her office, as if this is not the most comfortable conversation to have. I can’t really blame her, being as I am the drunken male who barged in here while she was clearly working and started asking her about mates. “Then I would say they aren’t mates. Or something is blocking the mating bond.”
I blink, my whiskey sloshing in my stomach. “What could block a mating bond?”
“Most likely a strong spell of some sort. The mating bond is a tie to your heart, but it is your mind that makes the connection first. If someone was cursed with anything that affected their mind, then it could hypothetically block a mating bond.”
Holy shit. The Elves said it felt like Alanis had a shield around her mind. What if…
No.
I won’t even think it. Not yet.
But what if?
“Even if she had another mating bond that wasn’t blocked? Could it just block one mating bond and not others?”
Laylani peers up at me, hand paused on the pages of a book. “Hypothetically? Yes. The brain is a complex thing. It could only effect certain parts and areas.”
Smiling, I stumble from the room. “Thank you!” I yell over my shoulder as I race upstairs to find Alanis and Malakai.
I stumble right into a conversation I wish I wouldn’t have.
“Do you remember any of the prophecy?” Malakai snaps.
My stomach plummets at the queen’s answer. What if what Novus said was true? Could this prophecy tie to Alanis? And if it does, does that mean she is the sacrifice?
The glass in my hand shatters, and her ice-blue eyes land on me.
Alanis flees from the patio, Malakai following closely behind.
I don’t hesitate, I run with him. We both pause on the threshold of her room, and Malakai glances at me.
“Go,” he urges.
Shock courses through my body. “But she is your mate.”
He smiles. “She is my mate. You are my friend. And from where I’m standing, we both care for her deeply, so why not you, too?”
I pause only a second before wrapping her in my arms.
- ALANIS -
I shake apart in Kailu’s arms. My world turned upside down again, so much so that I may be in shock. He picks me up and carries me to the bed, not once letting go of me. Now I lie in his arms with my face pressed to his chest. I feel the bed dip and Malakai’s scent washes over me.
The tears subside after a few minutes, my body wrung completely dry. Dear Gods, I am cocooned between them both and I have never felt so at peace.
Malakai’s hand traces a pattern up and down my back while I get control of my emotions. I hate to admit it, but I love the feel of his arms wrapped around me. I want to be an independent and strong woman, but even the strongest of people need someone to fall back on when they’re weak.
My shaking dissipates, leaving me slack with fatigue. My eyes are so heavy that I’m not sure how much longer I can stay awake.
“Sleep, Alanis.” Malakai’s deep, gravelly voice washes over me, sending a shiver through my body.
That night I dream of a land drenched in blood.
I’m sweating, as if I stand in the middle of a sweltering desert. I peel my eyes open, crusty from the dried tears and makeup that I didn’t remove. My body is so hot that I fear I am going to overheat. I realize why the second my eyes adjust to the early morning light.
Malakai and Kailu are wrapped around me like blankets, holding me just as tightly as they did the night before.
Malakai must have trimmed his hair before dinner last night, as it’s now slightly longer on top but short on both sides. He pulls off the messy hair look perfectly. Without thought, I run a finger over his eyebrows, relaxed in sleep. He usually looks so arrogant that I can’t help but admire his face when he is just him, no facade. I trail my fingers over his sharp cheekbones, tracing all the way down to his strong jawline.
He is too beautiful, his perfect face almost unreal.
Looking at Kailu, he seems younger. The rigid male now at rest. His serious face is free of the worries that plague him. I long to feel his lips under mine again. No matter how much he hurt me, I think I love him.
But I am drawn to Malakai. As I ran from the dining room last night, my body wanted to turn back. To run to him, not away.
I slowly slip out of their arms, needing time to center myself before facing the world again. I run a bath and quickly clean the sweat from my body. When I look in the mirror, I actually cringe. My makeup is smeared from crying and my eyes are bloodshot and puffy. I wash my face and apply the lotion that smells of lavender sitting on the counter, hoping it helps me look a little better, and leave my hair down to dry.
Taking cautious steps from the bathroom, I notice they’re both awake, lost in a deep whispered conversation, their backs propped against pillows side by side. Malakai’s brow is pinched in concentration and Kailu’s movements are animated.
What in the world are they talking about?
In that moment, I want them both. To hell with a mating bond. Whatever Kailu and I have is just as strong.
I linger there in the doorway, knowing full well they both knew when I got out of bed and the instant I stepped out of the bathroom. It still takes a moment for them to look at me, and it makes my heart clench. They look just as exhausted as I feel, as if they too had awful nightmares that prevented a good night’s sleep.
I slowly approach the bed, unsure of what to do, but content to let my body take over for my overly tired mind. Climbing onto the mattress, I settle on my knees directly in front of them. I feel their gazes follow my movement.
I look into their eyes, one molten silver, the other a deep green.
All of the chaos quiets, as if they are the answer to the raging sea inside me. “I’m so scared,” I whisper. “Scared for my brother. Scared of whatever this prophecy could mean…”
Malakai gently takes my face in his hands. “We are going to figure this out.” He looks to Kailu. “Together.”
Before I can process the emotions swirling in his eyes, he takes my lips in a brutal kiss.
My body erupts into flames. His lips are soft but demanding, opening my mouth so his tongue can meet mine, and I kiss him right back. He somehow tastes of mint, as if he just chewed up a mint leaf to prepare for this moment. I drag my hands through his hair, delighting in its silk like I’ve been wanting to do, and am rewarded with a deep groan. I scratch my fingers along the nape of his neck, breaking away from his lips to catch a breath.
I turn worried eyes to Kailu, but instead of sadness all I see is desire. He tips toward me to claim my lips as his own.
What the hell is going on?
Kailu pulls back, as if he hears the unspoken question, and gives me a soft smile. “I think the three of us need to talk.”
My face must show my confusion because Malakai gives me that damned smirk of his. “You have strong feelings for Kailu, do you not?”
I swallow hard, feeling guilty for admitting to my mate that I have feelings for another. “Yes.”
Kailu squeezes my hand. “And you feel a pull towards Malakai?”
Exhaling, I glance at the molten silver eyes that I am drawn to. “Yes. My feelings for both of you are strong. I don’t know if Mal’s is because of the mating bond or not, but when I’m with him it feels right.”
Kailu’s breath is shaky. “And what about with me?” His eyes hold a cautious look, like he’s scared of my answer.
“You hurt me when you left. I thought you left because you were in love with someone else…”
He shakes his head vehemently. “I am not in love with Ayda. Once upon a time I was, but now there is only you. There has only been you from the moment we met.”
I cup his chin in my palm, forcing his eyes to meet mine. “But even then, my feelings for you never went away. Malakai gives me a sense of wildness, but you offer me stability. When I’m with you both, though…When you are both near me…” Malakai takes my hand, Kailu holding my other, easing the nerves. “When you are both near me, I feel a sense of calm. It’s like that when I’m with you individually, but together…It’s like any worry or fear is minuscule, as long as I have you both with me.”
Kailu smiles and glances at Malakai, who merely nods. “I don’t want to hope too hard,” Kailu says, “but I talked to a healer who said that, hypothetically, it’s possible for a mating bond to be blocked by something.”
I rear back. “Are you saying I could have two mates? Both of you?” It might seem selfish, but Gods, do I hope that’s true.
It’s Malakai who answers. “Yes, it’s been known to happen before. Usually only a very powerful being has multiple mates.”
My swallow is audible.
“What is it?” Malakai asks. Kailu stares at me in question, and I no longer want to hide this from them.
Exhaling, I tell them my secret. “In the Caselian Realm, as you know, any type of Witch magic was illegal. They only allowed the magic the Elves possessed to create herbs and medicines. Small magic is what they called it. Magic as powerful as what the Fae and Witches possess could land you in the noose.”
They both nod, knowing the laws.
“One day, a soldier was injured, his wife and infant son next to him. The wife’s screams were…Gods, they were heart wrenching. I remember feeling this pressure on my chest, a heavy sadness that threatened to overtake my entire body. An icy sensation shot through me, and when I looked at my fingertips, there was a stream of ice trickling onto his wound, making the blood clot…”
Hesitantly, I glance up to find both staring at me with expressions ranging from shock to intrigue.
“Have you been able to connect with that power again?” Kailu asks.
I glance at my fingers. “No. There were times it felt like my body was acting strange or just felt different, but nothing ever happened.”
Malakai is quiet for a moment. “That’s why you ran from dinner. Why you’re more scared now than you were before. You think the prophecy, the one of a child with hidden magic, could be you.”
I don’t need to give an answer. They can both see the truth in my gaze.
“Even if it is, neither of us are going to let anything happen to you.” Kailu’s fierce gaze sends warmth through my body.
“We’ll kill anyone who dares to lay a hand on you,” Malakai whispers, kissing my forehead.
My racing heart seems to calm at his words, but my stomach tightens with fear soon after of what could happen to them. I divert my attention to the mating bond instead. My mind flits back to what Kailu said earlier. “What if whatever the Elves found blocking my mind is blocking our mating bond? How can we know for sure?”
Kailu smiles, hope glistening in his eyes. “I don’t know, exactly. We would have to find some way to lift whatever it is.”
I swallow hard, glancing between them. “And you both would be all right with that? Me having you both as mates?”
Malakai smiles. He was the one I was worried about. He doesn’t seem the type to share. Neither of them do, really. Both alpha males, headstrong and stubborn.
“Kai has been my friend since childhood, even if I haven’t seen him in decades. Which, I must add, is his own doing, not mine.”
Kailu throws him an annoyed glare.
“If I had to share a mate with anyone, it would be him I chose.” Mal’s soft words calm me, but I think they were meant more for Kailu.
Kailu’s expression doesn’t change, but I notice his breathing slow. I’m close enough that I can tell when his heart is no longer racing.
“Come, we have lots to do. Let’s meet with the others and make a plan.” Kailu states, a renewed sense of determination in his voice.
I follow the two, the entire time unwilling to voice the thought plaguing my mind.
What if we lift whatever spell or magic that is blocking my mind and there is still no mating bond with Kailu?