THE BITTER TASTE OF DENIAL
36
- MALAKAI -
T he ride back to the castle is a quiet affair. My mind races with questions I don’t know the answers to, and it doesn’t ease, even as we give our horses to the stable-hands and slip inside the castle. Our friends are sitting in the parlor when we return, the deep emerald walls making the room feel warm and cozy, despite my intense anxiety.
Hannah jumps up from the brown leather couch and barrels up to Alanis. The two walk off to quietly chat near the double glass doors that lead out to the gardens. I look to my father in the wingback chair in the corner of the room and tilt my head towards his office, signaling that I need to talk. I look around to ask Elion to join, but he is no nowhere to be found. Then I catch Kailu’s eyes and nod, and he heaves himself up out of the chaise and downs the last of his drink.
As soon as we’re secure in my father’s study, I pour myself a whiskey.
“I’m taking by your drink of choice the meeting with the mystery man didn’t go well,” Kailu states plainly.
“Who was it?” my father asks.
“Her birth father.”
Kailu chokes. “Holy shit. Is she all right? Was she excited?”
I swirl my drink, staring at the ripples. “She was shocked, but also happy. ‘Overwhelmed’ would be the best way to describe it.”
“Did he say where the hell he’s been, who her mother is? Where her mother is?”
“Yes and no,” I say, then quickly explain as succinctly as I can.
“I was really hoping her mother would be alive,” Kailu murmurs after a long beat.
I give a grim nod of agreement.
“What is this Fae’s name? Her father?” my father asks, sounding somewhat protective over my mate. The thought warms my cold heart.
“Viros.”
Silence greets me, and I find both of them staring at me like I just sprouted a third eyeball.
“Come again?” Kailu rumbles.
“The God of Magic and the Land is her father. Alanis is part Witch and part Fae God.”
“Holy mother of the Gods. Her powers…” Kailu lets his sentence hang unfinished in the air.
I only hum and look back down at my drink. “If trained, she could become the most powerful person this world has seen since the Gods themselves. Viros all but confirmed it.”
Kailu lets out a bark of laughter, clapping his hands in glee. “That’s amazing news. I know she was worried this prophecy was tied to her, but with that type of power, she could easily break it without all that nonsense!”
His giddiness is short-lived when he notices my somber expression.
“Viros told us it is the only way,” I say. “If Iclas manages to get his hands on her and unlock his curse, the world will fall into turmoil.”
The king stands before me, forcing me to meet his stare. “So the only way to end this conflict is for your mate to die?”
I nod. The emotions I have held at bay begin to seep through the cracks in the facade I carefully built. The second my father’s hand lands on my shoulder, the mask crumbles. Kailu falls to his knees, his pain palpable in the room around us.
“I…I just found her, and now I’m going to lose her,” My voice cracks, and if I was a lesser male I might feel self-conscious for crying. Good thing my parents taught me it was all right to show emotion.
“Malakai, we will find a way.” My father’s voice was always soothing to me, but I know he is just trying to placate me.
“Don’t you understand? There is no other way!” I scream, throwing my glass.
I feel the disturbance in the air before I see her. Her presence alters the space around me, almost as if cocooning me in her own personal bubble. Her smell has quickly become one of my favorite scents. Kailu glances up, tears falling down his face.
My father stands there for a second longer and then gives Alanis a small smile over my shoulder.
“There is always another way,” he whispers before he exits the room.
The tears still track down my face. I’m unable to stop them. When she kneels by Kailu, she holds her hand out to me. My knees hit the floor with a solid thud . And when she swipes tears from my cheeks, I have to squeeze my eyes shut.
My mate was sent to me, only to die.
“Tell me something about you. Your mother already told me you were a wild child, but tell me a story that nobody knows.”
She’s trying to distract me, to pull my mind from the place of panic and heartbreak it’s currently stuck in. But for once I’m happy to take the distraction.
“I bought the white house on main street during a time when I was not proud of who I was. I was known as a killer. Ruthless. Nobody could ever hold my attention for long. My mother became so worried for me that I decided to invite her to dinner at my new place, her and my father. Except I forgot. They showed up and I was in the Alpine Forest hunting.”
I give her a crooked smile, loving her sassy, raised eyebrow.
“What were you hunting?”
Kailu snorts. “I dared him to catch a Qilik.”
Her eyes grow wide. “Like the extremely large beast that smells like rotting flesh?”
I nod. “I sat in those freezing, snowy woods for a week before I spotted one. It was at least ten feet tall, its body skeletal. It had a wolflike head with yellow fangs. Antlers protruded from its skull in sharp points. Its claws could easily decapitate a human, but it was its sheer strength that shocked me. The thing was practically all bone, but where it had fur, you could see its muscles bulging. I watched it rip a tree from the frozen ground, even the roots. The things are demonic. Not many of them exist, and for good reason.”
“Did you catch it?”
I smile at her as she presses a soft kiss to Kailu’s hand.
“He didn’t,” Kai says at the same time I answer, “I did.”
Kailu raises an eyebrow at me.
“I placed fresh human blood around the tree it ripped out.” At her questioning stare, I clarify, “I stole it from a healer.”
“What? You told me you didn’t!” Kailu argues.
I smirk, dropping my gaze to my hands. “I also spent hours digging a hole to create a pitfall trap. The ground completely caved in, the beast falling onto the spikes I had laid below. Then I used my powers to surround it in flames. Qilik are sensitive to heat. That thing’s shrill screams still haunt my dreams.”
She chuckles, shaking her head at me. “You’re insane. Why did you tell Kailu you didn’t?”
I tuck a piece of hair behind her ear, opening my mouth, then pause to look at Kailu. It’s as much his story to tell as my own, and surely, he remembers the night in question. He just gives me a sad smile, permission granted.
“Kailu was in love with my sister,” I say. “He made this dare when he was drunk, the same day Ayda found her true mate. Kailu had always hoped it would be him, but that isn’t what the Fates had planned. He was in a bad way, worse than me. I was just angry and confused as to what the hell I was doing with my life. He was wondering what was left to live for, and I knew he would enjoy making fun of me for not being able to complete the dare. That it would bring him enjoyment to pick at me.” I look to Kailu, who stares at me blankly. “So, I never told you.”
Alanis cups his face in her hands, brushing her thumbs over his cheeks.
Kailu swallows. “Then with you…It was like ripping the bandage off a wound that had barely healed.” His voice breaks, and Alanis kisses him softly.
“Why hadn’t you seen each other for a while?” she asks, resting their foreheads together.
Kailu clears his throat. “When Ayda finally married, I could hardly bear to see any of her family. I felt betrayed because they accepted her mate so easily, even though my heart was shattered. I knew mates were meant to be together, I just didn’t want to accept it. I went home for a while. Mal tried reaching out, but I always ignored him. I admit I was a shit friend, too consumed with my own grief. Mal left to visit Ayda’s new home after the wedding and I just felt abandoned. My…my trauma from my father has shaped me to be the exact opposite of what he ever wanted. I might come across as emotionless, but as you have found out, I am not.”
She takes his hand, bringing it to her lips. “Thank you for telling me. You are still a pain in the ass.”
Kailu snorts. “Obviously.”
It grows silent, all of us feeling the truth wash over us. “We can’t lose you,” I tell her, my voice breaking on each word.
“I love you both,” she says. “We will continue to try to find another way, no matter what Viros thinks. But if it’s the only option, my life for thousands just makes sense.”
I grasp her face, kissing her fiercely, tasting the salt of my tears mix with the sweetness of her lips. “I will not live in this world without you. I’m going wherever you go.”
She shakes her head vehemently, but before she can argue, Kailu kisses her hard, sliding his tongue into her mouth, his head colliding with mine from how close we sit. She shifts, straddling one of his legs, and I slip my hands into her breeches, feeling her wetness coating her inner thighs. Her moan spurs me on.
“Take me to bed,” she gasps.
Kailu picks her up, throwing her over his shoulder. I slap her ass playfully, laughing when she squeals. Who am I to deny my mate an orgasm or five?
She may not like it, but my mind is set.
When she leaves this world, so will I.
- KAILU -
Malakai and I took turns bringing Alanis extreme amounts of pleasure for hours. After her sixth orgasm she finally tapped out, her body shaking with aftershocks. I may not have claimed her yet, but her taste is imprinted on my tongue.
Malakai finds me later as I pace the library, books thrown everywhere. I refuse to let Alanis fulfill some prophecy meant to kill her. He stops in the doorway to stare at the mess I made, sorrow etched on every line of his face.
“Don’t,” I snap.
His tired eyes find mine. “What—”
I cut him off. “You know exactly what. You have that look, the one that says you’re giving up.”
Malakai releases a breath. “I’m not giving up, but I need you to know that I have no plans on staying here if she is gone.”
Anger courses through me. “So what? You’re just going to leave me, too? You’re both just going to, what…?” My voice cracks. “Leave me here?”
At the burn behind my eyes, I lower them to the floor. I must not show weakness. But Malakai knows me. He has known me since we were children. His rough hands pull me into his chest. The second his arms fold around me, I break.
“We can’t lose her, Mal. I can’t lose you. Not again.”
His exhale takes some of my own tension with it.
Pulling back, I wipe my face dry, embarrassed at my moment of weakness. He only smiles, thumb softly brushing my chin before he turns to survey the room once more.
“I haven’t given up. I will search every day for another answer. I will search until there is no time left.”
“Do you think the matriarch might be able to help?”
Malakai exhales sharply. “From what I know of her, she is a stubborn female. But she may just have the knowledge we need to save Alanis.”
I nod, and together Malakai and I sit, sifting through mountains of information in the hopes that something will help us save the woman we love.
My mind flits back to my sister. I couldn’t save her, and the pain of that knowledge eats away at me a little each day. I should have been able to find her. That is what I’m trained to do. Instead, I let her down. I let my parents down. My father made sure to tell me what a disappointment I was because of it.
I refuse to let Alanis down, too.
- ELION -
Nausea churning in my gut, I push through the door of my room in the castle later that night and sink into the plush mattress. The whiskey from the pub makes everything hazy. A laugh bubbles up in my chest, and I can’t seem to control it. I don’t think I want to.
A glimmer in the corner of my room draws my eyes to her.
“Elion…” Her voice is soft, pity coating her words. But Gods, do I love the sound of my name on her lips.
My laughter starts again. “Her father is the fucking God of Magic and the Land.” The laughing only escalates, as if this entire situation is absolutely hilarious. The Banshee stares at me with a look of confusion. She probably thinks I’ve lost my fucking mind.
Maybe I have.
“Her father is a fucking God and even he said she is the key to this prophecy…” Tears now fall down my face from laughing so hard. “And not even he can give us another way to fulfill it without her dying in the process.”
The Banshee sits next to me, hesitantly grabbing my hand.
I brush the tears away as laughter consumes me. “Isn’t that just fucking ridiculous?”
She squeezes my hand but stays silent.
My laughter slowly subsides, a red-hot rage taking its place. I shove to my feet and grab a book from my floor, one I hoped would give us a way to save her, before tossing it against the wall.
“It’s fucking bullshit!” I scream. Swiping my arm across the dresser, I revel in the destruction. Glass crashes to the floor. Shards fly in every direction.
“He’s a fucking God! He should be able to fix this! He should be able to save her!”
I pull back, slamming my fist into the wall. My knuckles scream in protest, but the pain lets me know that this is real. That this isn’t a nightmare.
The Banshee comes to me, clasping my arm to stop me from doing any more damage.
“Elion…”
Hearing my name on her lips finally breaks me. “He should be able to save her,” I whisper, tears collecting in my eyes. “ I should be able to save her. I’m her big brother. I should…I should be able to save her.”
The Banshee’s eyes soften, sadness lingering in her gaze as I collapse to the floor and weep.