Chapter 19
Chapter Nineteen
G usts threatened to blow Esme from her feet as she ran, but she made it back to Strand House without incident. Her heart pounded and her breathing felt constricted, but she was safe in her home. She closed the back door and leaned against it, willing her mind to still. She had left her coat at the bookshop and was shivering violently. The combination of freezing air, copious rain and a wicked wind had worked frighteningly quickly.
Her clothes were cold and wet and she knew she needed to change out of them. Jet appeared from underneath the table, tail high in the air and an expression of misery on his face. She dropped to her knees, instantly filled with guilt. Jet hated storms and she had deserted him. She was a terrible cat mother. A terrible terrible person.
Her eyes were stinging from the wind and she didn’t realise she was crying until she felt the hot tears on her cold cheeks. She put her face to the soft fur on Jet’s head and stroked the length of his back to his tail. ‘I’m sorry I wasn’t here.’
Jet didn’t yowl at her. It was almost as if he knew she was already at breaking point. Instead, he pressed his head into her cold cheek.
When Esme woke up the next day, the humiliation was just as fresh. The thing she had been longing for had happened. The Viking had kissed her. She hadn’t been imagining the way he looked at her, the spark between them, like a lovesick teenager. But that was all ruined now. She had run away from him as if burned. Worse, as if he had done something wrong.
The weather had blown through and sunlight illuminated the pale blue curtains at the bedroom window. Jet was curled up halfway down the bed, fast asleep.
She touched her lips. Luke’s lips on hers hadn’t been a dream.
Downstairs, swaddled in a dressing gown, she checked her phone. There was a message from Luke. Are you okay?
She was relieved he hadn’t apologised. He had nothing to be sorry for and it would have made her feel a million times worse. In the light of a new day, she could feel that maybe it was salvageable. After all, they were both adults. She had bolted like a frightened fawn, but she could explain. They could try again, perhaps. She waited for the fear to return, but it didn’t. Probably because she was just imagining kissing Luke Taylor and that seemed completely fine in the safety of her own mind. It was the real-life three-dimensional version of the event that sent her into a panic attack. She tapped a quick reply.
I’m fine. Sorry about yesterday.
Then she paused. She pressed the key that would delete the last three words. She was sorry she had run away, but she wasn’t sorry they had kissed, and she didn’t want him to get the wrong impression. Written words were difficult. Once you had put them down, they were immutable. And subject to misinterpretation. She would let him know she was fine and then go and speak to him in person. She added: speak later? And sent the message. Her whole body tingled with an electric charge. Nerves and excitement. Hope and fear.
The winter sun shone over the water, picking out sparkles amongst the dark grey waves. The sky was a dirty white, and black seabirds stood out against it like type on a manuscript.
Luke huffed in the salt air and stared at the horizon. He was wearing an insulated jacket and felt perfectly comfortable, although the breeze on his face was icy. It had been two weeks since he had been ill and they were no further in their investigation. He had phoned about half of the bookshops in Alvis’s journal, but he had lost the will. Without knowing what to ask, the conversations were brief and unhelpful. And many just didn’t answer at all, leaving him wondering if they had closed or burned down.
He wanted to stay outside and to keep moving. Needed to work off some energy. The main thing on his mind wasn’t the hexed book or the thought of theoretical danger stalking other booksellers. Although he would usually take the route west past Esme’s house and onto Coire Bay, he turned east. He didn’t want to risk Esme looking out of her window and seeing him. She might feel pressured. If his attention was unwanted, it would be upsetting. He had no wish to act like a stalker. The thought that he might cause her discomfort was physically repellent. He had kissed her and she couldn’t have got away from him fast enough. He had crossed a line and broken her trust.
She leaned in, his mind supplied. He had lost count of the number of times he had replayed the scene. She had leaned in. She had stepped closer to him. He knew he hadn’t imagined any of that. And he would swear on his life that her eyes had held desire. But none of that mattered. Not when he had clearly moved too quickly. Not when he had done the one thing he had sworn he wouldn’t do. His guts twisted in pure misery as he remembered the speed of her leaving. Esme had run from him.
He walked to the end of Shell Bay and carried along the coastal path toward the castle, moving at a pace that had him sweating under his jacket.
He had been thinking so deeply that it took him a moment to realise that there was a figure walking towards him.
Kate Foster was dressed in a slim-fitting coat which flared out at the hips, leather gloves, and riding boots. She looked like she had stepped off the front cover of a glossy magazine. ‘Morning,’ Luke said. He moved to the side of the path to give her plenty of room to pass by, not wanting to appear threatening. He was acutely aware that she was a lone woman in the middle of nowhere and he was a man.
She slowed as she approached and then stepped off the path to join him. ‘You’re up early.’
‘You, too,’ Luke said. And then felt, inexplicably, as if he had said something intimate.
‘I like to exercise in the morning.’ She smiled and maintained eye contact until Luke felt the urge to glance away. ‘Sets me up for the day. And this,’ she swept an arm indicating the sea view, ‘beats the gym.’
‘I’ll let you get on,’ he said and made to move away.
She moved with him. Her hand was on his arm and when he looked down, she was gazing up at him, eyes wide. He didn’t consider himself especially arrogant, but he knew when somebody was showing an interest. If they had been in a bar on the mainland, he would think she was coming on to him.
‘Did you want to join me for breakfast?’
‘I’m walking,’ Luke said. Then, knowing he had sounded abrupt, tried to soften it. ‘The residents often eat at The Rising Moon. If you want company, there will probably be someone there at lunchtime.’ He had been going to say ‘or dinner’, but he didn’t know if Kate was staying on the island. And if she was, how popular that would be with the islanders.
‘Will you be there at lunch?’ Kate asked, her head tilted and eyes wide.
‘I’m working,’ he said, instantly scuppering plans for a midday pint.
‘Shame,’ she said. ‘Maybe later, then.’
Luke was still worrying about Esme, but thoughts of his brother had joined the mix. He felt that he could hear his twin’s voice in his head asking why the fuck he was obsessing over Esme Gray. Lewis’s message had told him to stop looking, but that didn’t let him off the hook. He walked down to the car park, wrestling with his options. One plus side of taking a trip to the mainland would mean he wouldn’t bump into Kate Foster again for a few hours.
‘You planning a road trip?’
Luke jumped at the sound of Hammer’s voice. He turned to find the man glowering at him from the path that led from the car park to the village. ‘How the fuck did you know I was here? Do you have me tagged or something?’
Hammer didn’t smile as he approached. ‘Another attempt at a suicide mission? Not that I care, you understand, but I do like to know what’s going on.’
Luke didn’t feel like explaining himself to Hammer, but he also didn’t have the time or inclination for a physical confrontation. He still didn’t feel one hundred per cent from being almost burned to death. And even if he had, he wasn’t too proud to concede that Hammer could probably beat him to a pulp and barely break a sweat.
He leaned against his car, facing Hammer. ‘I’m trying to find out who sent the cursed book to the shop. I know it sounds mad, but Esme is sure…’
‘Cursed book. Made you all sweaty. I heard.’
Luke set his jaw.
‘And you want revenge?’
‘No.’ Luke was surprised to find he was speaking the truth. ‘I want to make sure nobody else gets hurt. There was a fire, a bookshop in York burned down.’
‘Not our concern,’ Hammer said promptly.
‘That’s what Esme said at first,’ Luke replied.
‘Well, then. She’s got her head screwed on.’
‘But I convinced her. It’s not like the police will know what to look for. It’s our duty.’
‘Fuck that,’ Hammer said, but the phrase lacked his usual conviction.
‘You are welcome to join me if you don’t believe me,’ Luke said insouciantly and breathed easier when Hammer shook his head.
‘Just make sure you don’t bring any more shit back here. Right?’
‘That’s part of it. If I don’t find out who sent the book, what’s to stop them doing it again? What if next time the shop burns down? I know you don’t give a shit if I become a human flare, but Esme and Tobias and Bee would prefer the bookshop stayed intact.’
Hammer paused. His face didn’t betray any emotion and for a moment, Luke wasn’t sure if he was going to change his mind and accompany him or take a swing. Or maybe a nap. The man had a good line in blank expressions, he had to hand it to him.
‘You heard anything else from your brother?’
Luke swallowed. The guilt, never far from the surface, bubbled up in a toxic brew that scalded his insides. ‘No.’
Hammer didn’t say anything for a long moment. ‘You stopped looking.’
‘I looked for eighteen months.’ Luke wasn’t trying to defend himself, but he did, suddenly, want to make Hammer understand. ‘I didn’t care what happened to me. Not really. It’s not like Lewis and I were even close anymore, but I felt like it was my duty. And I didn’t have anything else to lose. I do now. I don’t want to bring attention here. I don’t want to bring trouble here any more than you do.’
Another long pause.
Finally, Hammer spoke. ‘Give me your phone.’
‘Why?’
‘The message. Let me see it.’
Luke unlocked the screen and navigated to the WhatsApp conversation before passing it across.
Hammer read it quickly and then began typing.
‘I’ve tried ringing the number,’ Luke said. ‘It’s never answered. And you can see my reply hasn’t been read.’
Hammer shrugged, handing the phone back. ‘I need to tell you something. I told Dean Fisher I would keep an eye on you.’
‘What?’
‘I didn’t want him sending any more of his people to take a look around.’
Luke wasn’t sure how annoyed he was at this revelation. Not very, he decided. He could understand Hammer’s reasoning.
‘Now you’ve sent the kind of message they understand.’
Luke unlocked the screen again and read Hammer’s reply to Lewis. Or whoever had Lewis’s phone.
Send sign of life.
It turned out that walking to the car park and speaking to Hammer about everything he now stood to lose was enough activity to sap Luke’s energy. He hated to admit that he still wasn’t back to full health, but the pressing exhaustion that had crept over him at the thought of the long drive to York didn’t lie. He had walked back to the shop and napped for half an hour to try to clear his pounding headache before opening the shop.
Thankfully, it was a quiet morning. Luke wasn’t surprised as the weather had turned from a crisp dawn to a grey and grim day. He remembered days like this from the mainland, when the sky felt as if it was hugging the earth, pressing down. It was different on the island with the ever-changing water and the far horizon, but the lowering cloud was obliterating much of the view and Luke was happy to be inside with the warmth of the shop and the lights gently illuminating the wooden shelves and the colours of the books.
His stomach growled, telling him it was lunchtime. With a brief thought of the venison pie and chips he had promised himself, he went into the tiny room that held a fridge and kettle.
He made a packet soup in a mug and broke off a hunk of cheese from the block of cheddar in the fridge. He had run out of bread, but there was a box of crackers upstairs that would do for now. He nipped upstairs to retrieve them and heard the front door open as he headed back down the stairs.
Kate Foster was walking through the shop, and he paused on the stairs.
‘Hello, again,’ she smiled up at him, as if he were the best thing she had seen in a week.
He took the last few steps and then crossed to close the door to the back room. Realising he should have put the crackers inside, he turned, feeling self-conscious. He was clearly out of practice to be so thrown by one woman. She was objectively attractive and appeared to be interested in him, which would, historically, have instantly increased her appeal. Now, he felt nothing but irritation at having his lunch delayed and a vague unease.
‘Feel free to browse,’ he said. ‘Unless there’s something in particular you’re looking for?’
She licked her lips. ‘This is a bit awkward, but I was hoping to persuade you to have lunch with me.’
‘I’m working,’ he gestured to the shop. ‘I’m sorry, I thought I said…’
‘You did,’ she smiled. ‘But I hate eating alone and there’s no one in the pub. I’ve been in the cottage all morning and it’s a bit overwhelming. I may have bitten off more than I can chew and I’d really appreciate some friendly company.’
He wanted to say ‘call a friend’. He didn’t know her. She was causing consternation on the island. But he also felt guilty. She hadn’t done anything wrong. And he remembered how he had felt when he had arrived on the island and been met with suspicion and hostility.
She hoisted her leather bag. ‘I brought sandwiches.’
He had a flash of memory. Esme bringing him food. They had eaten upstairs in his flat. He wasn’t taking Kate upstairs, that was for sure.
‘There’s nowhere for two people to sit,’ he said, gesturing around at the packed shelves and narrow corridors. ‘And I don’t allow eating in the bookshop.’ He realised his statement was undercut by the box of crackers in his hand. In his defence, it hadn’t really come up with customers before. He ate in the shop often, but that was different. Surely. ‘Sorry. I really do have to work.’
He really thought that would do it. He was braced for her to look disappointed. Maybe even a little hurt. Instead, she shook her head. ‘That won’t do. You run this place, yes? That means you’re the boss. You can take a lunch break. Shut the shop, there’s no one here anyway. We can eat here or we can go to the pub. I’m not taking no for an answer.’
Kate walked to the front room of the shop and hoisted her bag onto the counter next to the register. The ledger that kept track of sales, purchases and exchanges got shoved onto the floor and she rounded the counter to pick it up.
At that moment, the front door opened and Esme walked in. Luke was standing in the passage that led to the front door and it gave him a perfect view of Esme closing the door behind her and turning to smile at him. ‘Do you have time for a chat?’
‘Yes,’ he said, shooting a glance toward the front room where Kate was no longer visible. She was still behind the counter retrieving the ledger, and he didn’t know why it was taking so long. Her big squashy leather bag filled the countertop like it was claiming space.
‘Good.’ Esme’s smile widened as she walked toward him. ‘Did you want to eat? I thought we could go over to…’
‘Got it,’ Kate said, popping up from behind the counter. She moved her bag, revealing a bakery box and two cans of Dr Pepper. ‘Do you want to start with savoury or sweet? I know it’s supposed to be sweet after, but we could be naughty.’ She stopped a second too late for it to seem natural. ‘Oh, hi. Esme, right?’
Luke saw Esme stiffen and her face flush. He could see how it looked. Kate was standing behind the counter, in his domain, as if invited. As if she belonged .
He wanted to walk behind the counter and force Kate to move, but what if she didn’t? Then the two of them would be standing very close together, the counter a barrier between them and Esme, with Esme on the wrong side.
‘Sorry,’ Kate said, leaning on the counter as if she had been there for hours. ‘We were just about to have lunch. Did you need help with something?’
‘No,’ Esme said. ‘I was just… popping in.’
‘Lunch would be good,’ Luke said, trying to get control of the conversation.
‘I don’t know if we’ve quite enough for three, but I’m sure we can make it stretch. I don’t eat much, honestly.’
There wasn’t anything wrong with her tone, nothing specifically unwelcoming, but Luke could see Esme’s expression get even more closed. He knew he was missing something. It was like girls in high school. They had seemed to have their own language.
‘Thank you,’ Esme said carefully. ‘Kind of you, but I need to get on.’ She barely looked in Luke’s direction before turning and leaving. ‘See you later.’