Chapter 36
CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX
I ran into Basile the next morning in the Business building. I made to walk right past him, pretend I didn’t see him, but the building was old, and the floorboards beneath the ratty gray carpet needed to be replaced. I took one squeaky step, and he turned. “Cella?”
Something was different, and we both knew it.
I’d deleted my phone’s history, stopped watching his videos, stopped looking at his posts.
The part of me that whispered warnings in the back of my mind was on red alert.
I didn’t know how to reconcile the two versions of him in my head.
Basile Samir, the brilliant theorist, with this idea that could change the world …
and Basile Samir, head of a creepy frat, who may have drugged me and who could very well be involved in Dani’s death.
“I can’t help but feel awful about how things went down the other night. Truly, I—you’re really not going to look at me?”
I pulled my lip between my teeth and chewed, making a decision. “Don’t worry about it,” I said, and his eyes widened in surprise.
“Really?
There was still something I wanted from Basile, information he had that I badly wanted, that I would’ve given anything for. Maybe he was a devil … but sometimes the devil was the only one willing to tell you what you wanted to know.
“Water under the bridge. Honestly, I’m a little embarrassed myself for accusing you all, when everyone was so nice to me all night. You gave me no reason to be suspicious, and I was a jerk. I’m sorry.”
He tucked his hands in his pockets and rocked back. “I’ll admit, I didn’t expect this, but I’m glad to hear it. The guys were really excited to see you, you know. I think we have a lot we could learn from each other.”
I smiled innocently at him. “My thoughts exactly.”
Over the next few days, I spent time with Basile in secret, soaking up everything I could about the Reality Paradox.
But no matter how much I learned, how long we spent together, it wasn’t enough.
He still seemed to be holding something back.
He would trickle out bits of information, but always kept me wanting more, like a fish chasing after a shining, razor-sharp hook.
“Why do they call you Mathematici?” I blurted as we sat in the empty Auditorium.
He blinked, surprised. “It’s just a joke, really. Because we’re mathematicians. A lot of the guys are into the Ancient Greeks. Plato and stuff. You know, bunch of nerds.”
“Yeah, you said that. What about the Ancient Greeks? How do they relate?”
“Well … Plato says to learn the truth, we have to go beyond words. That’s what the Reality Paradox is all about.
It’s more than just its mathematical aspects; it’s a belief system, a way of life.
It’s about finding the truth and about grasping the real nature of things.
One way to do that is through mathematics.
Numbers are something we can use to make sense of our world.
That’s what Mathematici means. It’s a sign of respect, that I’m on the path. ”
“Hmm,” I said, chewing on his words, still not quite satisfied.
“You seem unconvinced.”
I tucked a hair behind my ear. “I just don’t know about the whole divine origin of the soul thing.”
“I know it sounds far-fetched at first. But the divine origin of a man’s soul is not a new concept. In fact, it’s extremely old, rooted in the Orphic religion. There are recordings of it even in the Derveni Papyrus.* Of all things the soul is immortal, but the bodies are subject to death.
“In truth, it’s not all that different from the concept of Heaven.
Except this way the scale is tipped back into the hands of those who’ve always felt powerless, who’ve always been overlooked.
If you live a disciplined life, stay on a path of good, there’s hope for you to make it to the world of Being, too. ”
“And the world of Being, that’s the one you reference in the Paradox?” I asked. The one where I could reach Aaron? was my silent question.
He nodded. “The world of Being is where all ideas are created and all thought is first generated.? Where daimons and gods and the souls of men who’ve been perfected go.
You’d have a hand in shaping every thought, every idea, for all of time.
That’s the thought, anyway,” he said with a shy smile.
“I know you may not agree with it—plenty of people don’t—but that’s what a belief system is, isn’t it?
This one gives hope to a lot of people. It promises there’s more to life than”—he gestured around us—“than this. It’s a way for people to feel like they can have at least a modicum of power in their own destinies.
Some power in a world that’s made us feel powerless.
We all just want to be heard. Don’t you? ”
I sighed. “Most of the time, I’m just trying to get through the day. Did you come up with all this yourself?”
“No. My beliefs were introduced to me by our teacher.”
“And who is that?”
“He’s a brilliant man, though people have all sorts of disparaging names for him. Crook, swindler, con artist, chief of charlatans, you name it, but you’re an anthropologist. You get it. One man’s religion is another man’s Magic, isn’t it?”
He looked down at me, hand tracing along his smooth chin.
“You know, Cella, if I tell you any more, I might have to make you a member of the frat. You’ve got to promise to at least come talk to the guys, about Object Theory.
About how you were able to do what you did.
It’s not every day someone is able to cast outside their objects. ”
I bit my lip. “Oh. Yeah. Of course I will.” I squirmed. I was so close now. Could taste the feeling on my tongue, of something good and real and right within my reach.
The truth was I would’ve told him whatever he wanted, done whatever he wanted, just to learn more.
Cut Not Fire With a Sword
I spent the rest of the morning in the library. I was heading out for lunch when I heard raised voices from a few buildings over.
“—and you tell your little buddy Grant that if I see him on this campus again, I’ll kill him.”
Oh no. Oh no no no.
I raced across campus as fast as my feet would take me, silently thanking whoever was listening that I was wearing cowboy boots instead of my jellies. Besides the scorching ground, there was broken glass everywhere.
Max was in the shadow of the Numerology and Mathematics building, finger prodding Basile’s chest. They both looked as mad as I’d ever seen them.
“Max,” I hissed, “what are you doing?”
“Teaching your little friend here a few things.”
Shit, shit, shit.
People had already gathered to watch. I had flashbacks to losing control of my Magic all over again. I tugged his arm. “Stand down,” I hissed. “I’ve got it under control.”
He yanked his arm out of my grasp, and I got a whiff of the liquor on his breath.
“Are you drunk? It’s the middle of the day. What is wrong with you?”
“Don’t worry, Cel. I’ll only hurt him a little.”
“You’re out of your depth, cowboy,” Basile growled. His hair was in disarray, pieces falling from their perfectly set position.
Max’s eyes rolled back as he laughed. “Wanna bet?” The leather wound its way around his wrist as Max reached for his Magic. I could almost hear the pound of horses’ hooves on grass.
He’d pulled a lot of Magic—way too much.
I gasped as the Magic ripped out of me. Max’s shoulders sagged like he’d been hit with a boulder. He gritted his teeth and straightened, but I knew it had drained him. It was not only his life he was being reckless with.
In response, Basile closed his eyes, whispering quick and harsh under his breath. I could feel the Magic rising all around us, hissing and twisting in the air.
“Stop! Stop! You’re going to kill yourselves,” I cried. “Look, you’ve proven how tough you are. Happy?”
Max tipped the bottle he held into his mouth and shrugged. “Not particularly.”
“You’re not worth my time,” Basile said as he turned to walk away. “Cella, you should get a better handle on your dog.”
Max tipped the dregs of the bottle into his mouth and smashed it on the ground.
Alright, he’s gone now, you can all go home, I thought furiously, wishing the crowd would dissipate. I turned to Max. “What is wrong with you? Did you and Julia have a fight or something?”
He laughed a cruel laugh I’d never heard before. “Julia and I broke up days ago because she couldn’t handle how much time I was spending with you. I told her there was nothing to worry about until I was blue in the face. She didn’t believe me.” He crunched the last of the bottle with his boot.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly. “I didn’t want you guys to break up.” The lie spilled out of my mouth.
“You know what the funny thing is? I’m relieved. What girl would want to be with someone who has some mystical other half?” He laughed, that same mean laugh. I could barely look at him.
I’d been jealous of him and Julia, there was no denying that, but that didn’t mean I wanted to see him miserable. I didn’t want to see him like this.
“Is there … anything I can do? Do you want to talk about it?”
“Don’t worry about it.” He looked at me suddenly, and I could see all the hurt swirling up in his eyes, such a dark blue they were almost black.
“You know, sometimes I wonder what the hell I’m doing, chasing after a woman who doesn’t want a damn thing to do with me.
I don’t even know why I brought you here. ”
I frowned. “The school brought me here.”
“Forget it.”
“Max, what do you mean ‘you brought me here’?” I asked, catching the twist of his mouth, how he could barely look at me. “Dr. Robetresse requested my help on this case. The council—the council wanted my help. You found me because they asked you to. Right?”
“It’s nothing.”
“Wait.” I paused, started shaking my head.
“Max, you didn’t.” This whole time—forcing me to relive every single traumatic memory of my brother and Max and setting Luce’s car on fire, and the fallout afterward, slowly and inevitably becoming a pariah, watching as my reputation went up in smoke—this whole time, he’d let me think I’d had to come back because Dr. Robetresse and the school needed my help.
He wouldn’t meet my eyes.
“Tell me you didn’t float our names for this investigation.”
“They needed someone who knew objects, Cella. They needed us. Dr. R said herself Ellendale and Amy disagree for sport, that the council couldn’t work together for three seconds.”
“Neither can we! She’s probably going to die, you know, because we couldn’t figure it out! And that’s on us.”
He kicked the ground with his shoe. “Forget about it! Fuck, Cella, now I know how goddamn painful it is for you to even be in the same city as me. I’m sorry, okay? Is that what you want to hear?”
“So that was it, then. You needed Magic so badly that you couldn’t stand to let me live my life in peace. What the fuck do you even need Magic for? You wrangle horses!”
He held my gaze, then looked away. “Forget about it.”
“Oh no, you don’t walk away from me, Max Middlemore!” I grabbed a rock and chucked it hard as I could at his back. It glanced uselessly off his belt; I fumed. “And after you embarrassed the hell out of me with Basile. I’m getting information from him! You need to stay out of it.”
“Are you, Cel? Because it sure as hell looks to me that he’s getting information from you.”
I was so frustrated I wanted to scream. “What do you care about what I do or who I talk to?”
He threw his hands up. “Because it feels like I’m losing you all over again!”
Both of us stood there staring at each other, breathing hard. A blisteringly hot breeze swept through the grounds, lifting the branches of a creosote bush.
“Look,” he said, “I’m not going to pretend it’s somehow the chivalrous thing to do to let you go and leave forever. I know you said you never wanted to see me again, but what about what I want?”
I cackled, aware of how maniacal it sounded, but past the point of caring. People were gathered to stare at us now. “When do we ever not consider what you want? We broke up because you couldn’t ignore what you wanted.”
He looked at me and shook his head, once, firmly.
“That’s not fair, and you know it. We were not together when Luce and I …
Look, I know I’ve hurt you. But I’m going to fight for it.
I just got you back, Cel. And I see you pulled into this shit again, somebody talks a big game and entices you with their theories and all these exciting ideas, and you jump in because that’s who you are, and I love that about you, but damn, I hate when you leave me behind.
You’re getting sucked in again, just like with Jamie and the others.
And maybe I’m not as smart as Basile or any of those guys, but I know what it looks like when you’re pulling away.
” He shook his head. “You’re just running, Cel.
It’s what you’ve been doing for years. And I’m not going to let you do it anymore.
It was time for you to come home, to come back to your life and your career and your Magic. You know it, too.”
Then he turned and left me there, staring after him, the sound of boots crunching against glass still ringing in my ears.