Chapter 11
Things were going good or at least I thought. A few weeks ago, we had our first threesome. It was unplanned and awkward as hell, and yet so freeing. Whatever perceptions we had about what that would entail, went out the window as it happened so organically. Sharing Ivy was becoming easier with each interaction. Not all shared days ended in sex but knowing we were there for each other strengthened the bond we always had.
Nana’s therapy was working. We were seeing signs of improvement. She was still nowhere near ready to come home, but she could at least move her mouth and had better control of her facial muscles. I visited her on my days and Dos and Ivy had their days. Together we made sure she had everything she needed to be as comfortable as she could be. On my last visit Nana had a concerned look on her face. I inquired about what was bothering her. She hesitated but eventually opened up.
“Uno, I gotta ask you something.”
“Go ahead Nana.”
“You and Dos both fucking Ivy?”
I laughed surprised to hear her cuss and at her boldness. “Truthfully, Nana, yes we are. Why do you ask?”
“Dos confided in me the last time he was here.”
“What did he say?”
“I know this is none of my business. But this whole thing with you three is tearing him apart. I’ve never seen him so depleted.”
“What do you mean?” I started thinking of my previous conversation with Dos. I thought we promised to be truthful about our feelings about this situation. And here he was confiding in Nana instead of bringing this to my attention.
“Baby, whatever y’all got going on, Dos feels like he’s losing. His relationship with you is in jeopardy and the way that boy loves Ivy, it’s killing him to have to share her with you.”
I just sat there listening. I thought everything was good. I missed this. How did I not know Dos felt like this?
Uno, your brother told me if he didn’t go along with the arrangement he risked losing both of you. Is that true?”
I shook my head. “No Nana. That’s not true. I thought Dos and I … never mind it doesn’t even matter. It’s not true.”
“Can I ask another question?”
“Go ahead.”
“Since when have you ever been a follower? I have always known you to be the leader. Lord knows I love Ivy, but you following behind her like some lovesick lap dog is not you. It makes sense that Dos is in this predicament, but you. Your brother has always followed in your footsteps. That competitive spirit was there to gain your approval. Yeah, I know it annoyed the hell out of you, but all he ever wanted was for you to respect him. Can’t you see that? His heart broke when he found out that Ivy didn’t just want him. He told me they were actually dating before yall made the proposal to him. He bought a ring for that girl. Did you know that? When she came back to town, he thought this would be his chance to make things right with her. All I’m saying baby is Dos had a plan. It wasn’t perfect but he loves that girl. I get the feeling you loved her and maybe you’re holding on to feelings that should have died a long time ago when she broke your heart the first time. You’re no follower, Uno. You’re a born leader and leaders usually have a plan. What’s your plan with this situation?”
The conversation was interrupted by the on-call nurse coming in with Nana’s meds. I watched her verify Nana’s information and hand her the small white paper cup full of colored pills. Nana took the pills with water as the nurse left the room before she continued.
“Uno, It’s none of my business. But just think about what I said and what you now know. If you were a praying man. I’d tell you to pray on it. But since you not, just know, the kinda love you deserve isn’t complicated, Baby. It just ain’t.”
I shook my head in agreement and allowed her words to sit with me for the rest of the day.
The only saving grace was it would be three days before I had to see Ivy. I had a lot to think about. The last thing I wanted was to hurt my brother. And if this situation was really for the best, neither one of us would feel left out or be in pain behind it.